I'm Right Here
by TenToo
Summary: With 51 hours left, Abby seeks comfort with Kane. But, they learn that they can still go to Earth when Jaha's announcement interrupts them. They must live with what they've done as they lead their people on Earth, deciding if their relationship is worth exploring. The sequel "Omo Givnes" is posted and can be found on my profile.
1. 51 Hours Left

_"Every simulation has been run. Every system modification has been made. The hard and simple fact is that in 51 hours, life on the Ark will no longer be possible." - Thelonious Jaha, "We Are Grounders (Part 1)"_

* * *

Find your peace, Jaha had said. Abby didn't even know what that meant. As she stared down at the dead girl on her table, she knew peace was not possible for her, not while her daughter was on Earth and she here on the Ark.

Jackson had left rather abruptly after the death, she had let him. He should be with his family. She didn't have one, not here. She cleaned up and left Ark Station Medical. She figured she would head home to Alpha Station and die among pictures of Clarke, pictures of Jake.

The halls were empty, she assumed everyone was with their families, spending what little time they had left with those they loved. She would do the same. She was nearly back to her rooms when she was startled by a voice.

"I can't stare at those screens anymore; Sinclair wanted to be with his wife anyway. There was no point." Abby turned to find Marcus Kane leaning against the pipe on the wall. He held a clear bottle with clear liquid inside of it, she had a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't water in there. He took a swig of it and pushed himself off the pipe, taking a few steps toward her. "Want some?"

 _What the hell,_ she thought, _we're dying anyway._ She took the bottle from him, their fingers brushing, and drank some. It didn't taste bad, for moonshine.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking at her closely. He always seemed to be reading her and she had grown used to it, but now, he didn't try to hide it.

"Why would I be okay?"

"Fair point." He said with a nod. He took the bottle back from her and took another drink of the moonshine. "Where are you headed?"

"Home." She looked at him for a moment before turning and walking down the hall. He didn't follow her and she realized that it pained her, him not taking the initiative and making the first move. There was only 48 hours left on the Ark, she had wasted 3 in surgery. She wasn't going to waste anymore. She turned back to Kane and said, "Why don't you come with me?"

Halfway through a sip of moonshine, he lowered the bottle and coughed a bit on the alcohol. "What?"

She fought the urge to smile and said calmly, "I thought I wanted to be alone, but I don't. Not now." She paused before meeting his eyes. "Please, Marcus."

Kane wiped the liquid from his lips with his arm and looked at her for a moment, unsure. Finally, he said, "Okay."

They walked silently down the hallway and along another before they reached the Griffin home. Abby unlocked the door and led the way into the very white room. All Alpha Station homes looked the same. She suddenly wondered what Kane's house looked like, realizing she had never been there. He had been here many times, to watch old sports games with Jake, sometimes Jaha too, or bring Council news to her when it was urgent.

Kane felt at home in the very clean room and sat down on the couch, setting the bottle of moonshine on the table in front of him. He watched as Abby moved around the room, looking for something. She came over to the couch with a bottle of amber colored liquid.

"How about some real alcohol, huh?" She asked, handing the dusty bottle to him.

"What is it?" He asked, popping open the top and taking a whiff. He cringed away from it.

"Whiskey from Earth." She said, looking at the faded label. "There's no time like the present."

"Isn't this supposed to be drunk on Earth?" He asked quietly, still having not taken a sip.

"If that were the case, we should have sent it with the kids." She said bitterly, taking it from him. She raised it to her lips and drank several large gulps, relishing in the burn as it went down her throat. He looked at her in surprise.

"Abby, I know you're upset, but this—"

She set the whiskey down next to his moonshine and turned toward him on the couch. "How could you possibly act like you know what I'm going through? My daughter's down there! I'm never going to be able to apologize now."

He nodded, remaining silent for a moment. She thought he wasn't going to respond, but he was Marcus Kane and he always had something to say. "Clarke will understand, she'll forgive you. It just takes time. It was only a year ago and she was put in solitary confinement—"

"Because of you—" She shouted.

"Because of the Council," he snapped, "which you were on too! You can blame me all you want for Jake's death, if it makes you feel better, but the true fault lies with you, Abby."

She shook her head sadly. "I thought I could trust Thelonius. I thought he would talk Jake out of it. But, he killed him."

"We voted on it, Jaha didn't do it alone." Kane reminded her. She looked at him, curiosity on her face. He clarified, "I won't have you dying and being upset with him too."

She took his hand and said, staring at the back of it, "I'm not upset with you."

"No?" He was amused, clearly he thought she was.

"I'm not," said Abby quietly, running her thumb over the back of his hand. "Believe it or not, I rarely am." He laughed and a smile pulled at her lips. "We argue, yes, but we have differing opinions on what's best for everyone. That's all."

" _That's all._ You say that as if it's a small matter." He was definitely amused now. "But I know we've never hated each other, Abby. Far from it."

"Oh? What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means." He left it at that as he leaned forward on the couch to reach the alcohol again. He picked up the whiskey and raised it to his lips, murmuring, "Let's see what this is all about."

He took a drink and looked pleased with the result, taking several more. He smiled as he said, "Now this is how you die."

She bit her lip, fighting what she wanted to do. Finally, she said, "Are you sure? Wouldn't you rather do something else?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Like what? What's better than getting drunk at the end of the world?"

She smiled and pulled her hand away from his, he was prepared to protest the loss of contact. She stood and grabbed the moonshine, walking away. He called, "Abby, where are you going?"

"Come see."

He found her in the bedroom, sitting on the bed, already divested of her boots and jacket. She took a drink of the alcohol. He held the whiskey and nearly dropped it on the ground. He whispered, "Abby, if this is because we're about to die…"

She shook her head. "Don't talk about it, okay?"

He nodded and walked toward her, setting the bottle on the nightstand. He reached for the moonshine and Abby handed it to him. She scooted over on the bed and he kicked off his boots before climbing into it.

He was surprisingly tender as he pulled her toward him and wrapped an arm around her, cradling her face with his other hand. His thumb ran along her jaw and he looked at her, taking in every inch of her beautiful face. She looked right back at him, unabashed by his gaze. She placed a hand on his arm, curling around his bicep.

When his lips finally made contact with hers, she realized that he had thought about doing this before. The way he kissed her wasn't rushed, he didn't want to dive right into the good stuff. He wanted to cherish this moment, learn what each centimeter of her lips felt like and what every part of her mouth and tongue tasted like.

She reached for his jacket, unzipping it most of the way before his hand stopped her. He breathed, "Abby, we don't have to do this. Not unless you actually want to."

"Shut up, Marcus." She said, swatting his hand out of the way. She pushed his jacket off his shoulders. "You talk too much."

He laughed and she tossed aside his jacket, already reaching for the hem of his shirt. "Abby…"

"I said shut up, Kane." She snapped. He fell against the bed, surprised. She sighed when he wouldn't look at her, his jaw set firm. She pushed herself up and still, he didn't meet her eyes. She peeled off her shirt and climbed on top of him, straddling his waist, it got his attention. He looked at her finally and she ran her hand up his chest, curling it around his neck. "I'm sorry, Marcus."

He gave her a slight nod and she took that as a good sign. She leaned down and planted a kiss on his lips. He grabbed her hips and slid his hands up her body, toward her bra. She gripped the hem of his shirt again and this time, he didn't protest. She raised it over his head and he tossed it aside. She planted kisses along his torso as she reached for his belt, making sure to control her breathing. Going too fast would be detrimental to their already failing health.

Kane unclasped her bra and flung it aside before running his hand over the newly exposed flesh. She ran her hand over his heart and felt that he wasn't overexerting himself, not yet at least. Good, it meant they could go longer. Abby unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants open. His mouth met hers briefly before it found her neck. Her hand was creeping toward his boxers when the P.A. system crackled to life.

"Councillor Kane, Sinclair, and Dr. Griffin, report to Earth Monitoring immediately." It was Jaha's voice over the system.

Abby sighed and looked down at Kane, her hand stilling. He put both hands on her hips, holding her where she was.

"Fun's over, I guess." He said with a sad smile on his face. He reached up to brush a strand of hair out of her face before leaving his hand there on her cheek, cupping it.

She nodded and placed a hand over his, smiling into it. "This can't take long, meet me here after?"

He nodded. "Of course." He leaned up and kissed her fiercely, not caring about overexertion or the thinning air. She pulled away, out of breath.

"We have to go," Abby said, resting her forehead against his. He nodded, running his thumb along her jaw. She kissed him once more before pulling away and searching for her clothes.

Kane was dressed long before her, just as put together as when he arrived even with his hair put back in place. He held the whiskey bottle and took a long drink of it — it was nearly half gone. Abby — dressed — walked over to him and took his hand. His eyes darted to the contact and raised an eyebrow.

She said, "If I'm going to die, I want you by my side."

He smirked. "I always knew you had a soft spot for me."

"Shut up, Marcus."

* * *

"Nice of you to join us, Councillor, Doctor Griffin." Thelonious Jaha said as they entered Earth Monitoring. Kane still held the bottle of whiskey and Abby still held Kane's hand. "Are you drunk?"

"A little," Kane admitted. "What's the emergency?"

Jaha just shook his head, eyes on the clasped hands. "I expected the two of you to go out with some class."

"Leave it alone, Thelonious." Abby warned, staring hard at him. "You said, 'find peace,' we all find it in different ways."

Jaha nodded. He looked at Sinclair who walked over with schematics. The Chancellor said, "Well I hope the two of you can live with what you've done and that you've saved some of that whiskey — we're going to Earth."


	2. Earth Day 1

_"Someone will have to launch manually." - Sinclair, "We Are Grounders (Part 2)"_

* * *

Kane prepared to stand, unbuckling his seatbelt.

"What are you doing?" Abby asked, grabbing his arm.

Calmly, he replied, "Someone has to stay behind, Abby."

Her hand was now resting on his leg, across his body to keep him from standing. She said to Sinclair, "There has to be another way."

He talked of reprogramming the computer but they would miss the kids' location and if they waited, they would be out of air by the time the eastern United States came back around.

Kane was staring at her, a determine look on his face. She looked at him for a moment and turned back to Sinclair, about to say something to him, but the look in Kane's eye made her turn back. He said, pulling her hand off of his, "Salvation comes at a price."

It turned out, Jaha had beaten him there. Abby didn't like to admit that she was more than relieved. As much as she hated that Thelonious was about to die, she didn't want Kane to do it either. She needed him by her side on Earth. Thelonious would be at peace, she knew it. He would see Wells again.

The whole way down, Kane held her hand and she rested her head against his shoulder, knowing that each moment could be their last. There was no certainty that Mecha Station wouldn't crash or explode on the way down. They bumped against each other and Abby felt like she was on the verge of vomiting several times, but Kane's grip on her kept her in check. It was only when they landed on Earth and he unbuckled her seatbelt that she hit him in the shoulder, letting herself get angry. After alerting Jaha that Mecha had indeed made it, she was the first out of the hatch, trying to get away from Kane.

The world was much more beautiful than she could have ever imagined and it was ruined 30 seconds later when Kane pulled himself out of the hatch. She let him take in the surroundings — you only got to see Earth for the first time _on_ Earth once, after all.

After a minute for him, she said in a hushed tone so those in the station couldn't hear her, "How could you do that?"

He turned toward her, looking past her at the trees. "Do what?"

"Sacrifice yourself like that." Her eyes were narrowed at him, but he wasn't looking at her still. He was staring at the trees, all of the green and the blue of the lake.

"I didn't though."

"You tried to." She said angrily, smacking him like she had earlier only harder this time. "How could you do that to me?"

His eyes finally settled on hers, confusion evident in them. "I wasn't aware I was doing anything to you. Are you mad at me?"

She closed her eyes and said quietly, "Of course I'm mad at you. I thought that you understood how I felt, but I guess you didn't—"

"How you felt? Abby, I thought that was a one time thing. We were going to die," he said, taking her hand lightly in his, allowing her the room to pull away. "I didn't think you wanted something so…long term. I didn't think there was a long term."

She pulled her hand out of his and walked across the top of the station, toward the side that had the lake. She watched ripples form in the water, some fish no doubt just under the surface. She could hear his footsteps on the metal, knew he was coming toward her. He stepped next to her and stared at the water too. It was a few minutes before he spoke and by that time, others were coming out of Mecha.

Kane said quietly, "I'm sorry. I didn't think — I didn't think you would…want this." He paused, thinking over what he actually wanted to say because he wasn't doing too well just speaking what came to mind. He started over, swallowing a lump in his throat. "I was looking out for everyone else. It's my responsibility."

"I know how you've felt since the Culling, but you weren't the only one who made that decision, Marcus. It's not all on you." She said angrily, shaking her head. "You have to stop this sacrificing crap because I'm not losing you."

"What—"

"Guys," it was Sinclair. They both turned to look at him and found him pointing at a column of dark smoke rising from the forest. "That could be the 100, couldn't it?"

"Or another station," Kane said, walking briskly across the roof and slipping down through the hatch to get his gear. He called, "Everyone get your gear." Abby followed, along with the many others. Bent over his pack, checking to see how much ammo he had, he turned when he heard her footsteps. She crouched down next to him and started gathering her pack too.

"Clarke's out there, shouldn't we go to where we assume they are?" She was desperate, almost pleading with him.

"We have no idea where they are, Abby." Kane replied, not looking at her. "We know there's that smoke, _that's_ where we're going."

"What if it's a trap? We know we're not alone out here." She said, stilling his hand as his gripped his pack.

"We can't just sit here. We have to find the others." He met her eyes and she looked like she was ready to cry. His brows furrowed and his jaw clenched. He breathed, "Abby…we'll find Clarke. It might take some time. Just have faith that we will, okay?"

She smiled and despite the room being full of the others gathering their gear, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. She pulled back and murmured against them, "Thank you, Marcus."

* * *

They had been walking through miles of forest without seeing a single soul, not one animal. Kane led the group, as the new chancellor, with guardsmen Byrne, Scott, Miller, and Banks flanking him. The rest of the guard was with the normal civilians. Abby insisted on walking with the front group despite how dangerous it was.

"You really should be back there, Abby." Kane muttered, keeping his eyes ahead of them, looking for movement.

"I can take care of myself."

"You don't even have a gun."

"I guess it's a good thing you do, then." She replied, snarkily.

"At least get behind me if you insist on being up here." There was something in his tone that made her do as he instructed. It wasn't his usual authoritative one, this one was laced with worry — he was only looking out for her well-being.

She walked two steps behind him through the woods, watching him as they went. There was something different about him, but she couldn't figure out what it was. She wondered if it was solely because of what happened their final night on the Ark. He was being more protective over her than he had ever been. She remembered when he had found her after she escaped the Exodus ship. Dying in the service bay, she had given up hope, but then — all of a sudden — he was there, his arms around her, telling her to wake up, that she would be okay. She felt safe.

Lost in her thoughts, she ran right into the back of Kane when he stopped. She let out a huff as they collided and he glanced back at her, a lopsided grin on his face.

"What thoughts are you lost in?" It was like he knew, but he wasn't going to embarrass her by saying it outright.

She blushed, but held his gaze. "Why have we stopped?"

He pointed ahead with his gun. "Can't you see it? The wreckage, just ahead."

She strained her eyes and sure enough, there was a large amount of metal just through the trees, a tall column of gray smoke rising from it. She could see several fires in the distance and heard screams. She gripped the strap of her med kit tighter and started to rush toward the wreck. Kane grabbed her hand, yanking her back toward him.

"What?"

"Not until we know it's safe." He said quietly. He nodded toward the civilian group behind them. "Go wait with them. I'll let you know when it's all clear."

She squeezed his hand and nodded. The corner of his mouth twitched up for the briefest of moments before he called for Byrne, Scott, Miller, and Banks to follow him through the trees.

Alpha Station had a decent landing. Debris was everywhere, as were the dead. Others were walking through the damage and Kane spotted Jackson tending to a patient. He ran over to him and clapped him on the back as he leaned away from the deceased man.

"Kane!" Jackson said in relief. "Mecha made it?"

"Yes," Kane said with a smile.

"All of Mecha?" It was a loaded question — Kane knew what he was really asking.

Kane nodded. He called toward the woods, over his shoulder, "All clear!"

Byrne looked at him, bewildered. "We haven't checked the area, Chancellor."

"Don't you think Grounders would have attacked them long before we came?" He asked as the others walked toward them through the trees. "They wouldn't have waited for reinforcements, Major."

Her jaw was set firm, like she was about to argue, but she remained silent.

"Abby!" Jackson yelled, running toward her. Kane watched as the two embraced, a sad smile on his face. He turned away and began to search for survivors.

* * *

"You know, I didn't want it to happen that way." Kane had crouched down next to her as everyone settled down to eat their rations. They had been cleaning up all day and decided to make Alpha Station their home base. Many had already claimed rooms within the station and Kane had been given a large room as chancellor.

"What to happen what way?" Abby asked, lowering her food pack to her lap. She was seated on the ground, sitting cross-legged, not too far from one of the many low fires they had burning. Kane looked at her, a small frown on his face.

"Kissing you — I wanted the first time to be…I don't know. I just didn't want it to happen like that." He wasn't looking at her, he couldn't.

Abby took a deep breath as she glanced over at Jackson, the closest person to her. It seemed like he hadn't heard a thing. She pushed herself to her feet and abandoned her food. She whispered, "Let's go somewhere to talk."

She led Kane into Alpha and down a series of hallways to what they had claimed as the Council chamber. Presently, they were the only members of the Council — Kane had reinstated her. She shut the door behind them and Kane walked away from her, toward the table. He sat down in a chair and ran a hand through his hair, leaning his other elbow against the table. Abby sighed and walked over to him, placing her hand on his shoulder. Their eyes met.

"How long have you been wanting to do that?"

"I'm not going to embarrass myself with that answer." He replied quickly.

Her eyebrows raised, more for herself than for him. She kept her eyes on his face, but he wasn't looking at her anymore. "Then why even tell me?"

He sighed and stood, brushing her hand off. He began to pace the room. "I just…wanted you to know, I guess." His brows furrowed, she could tell there was something more on his mind.

She walked over to him and grabbed his hand, pulling him to her to stop him in his tracks. He looked at her and she could see the pain in his eyes. She placed her hand on his cheek. In a quiet, soft voice, she said, "Marcus, are you all right?"

His mouth fell open a fraction of an inch as he drew in a ragged breath. "Fine. Why?"

Her hand slipped from his cheek but he caught it with his. Her eyes flickered to their joined hands before she looked him in the eyes again. "You're acting strange, Marcus. I've known you for far too long to know that you're not 'fine.' Stop lying to me."

With a small grin, he said in barely a whisper, "Abby…I never thought you'd give me the 'last night in space' speech. I didn't think that was how we would…" He looked like he was concentrating on what he was trying to say as he stared at the wall beyond her head. He looked at her again, smiling. "I thought — hoped — we would overcome our differences and—"

"You hoped for the impossible, Marcus." She said quietly as she squeezed his hand. His face fell slightly, but the corners of his eyes crinkled. He smiled sadly before saying, "I know."

When he spoke again, it all came out in a rush — his voice broke and she could do nothing but watch it happen. "I honestly don't know why I ever held out hope that you would forgive me for everything I did to you. I tried to have you floated three times, Abby. I included Clarke in Jake's charges. She was locked up in solitary because of me! I voted to have Jake floated. I voted to send Clarke to the ground…"

Kane couldn't continue. He was breathing heavily and had backed away from her. He braced himself on the table, gripping the edge with all of his might. Abby approached him cautiously. She grabbed his hands, unclenching them from the metal surface.

"Marcus," she whispered, her face near his. She released one of his hands and gripped him by the neck with just enough force to make him look at her. "Don't you think for a second that I haven't forgiven you for all of that. You are _not_ the same man who did those things."

His lips crashed against hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck in an instant. His hand caressed her cheek and pulled her even closer. They both knew how far this would go tonight and were satisfied with simply kissing on the Council table. Abby sat on the metal, Kane between her legs. His hands grasped her hips, trying to get as much contact with her as possible. Abby had one hand in his hair, the other under his jacket exploring the expanse of muscles that lay beneath.

"This is how I imagined it," he breathed. Abby smiled against his lips. He kissed along her jaw. Lips gliding along her skin, he murmured, "Tomorrow, Abby, I promise we'll find Clarke."

A smile stretched across Abby's face before she pulled him into a kiss by his shaggy hair.


	3. Not Without a Plan

_"Marcus, search the damn woods." - Abby Griffin, "Inclement Weather"_

* * *

Marcus Kane held the bottle of whiskey, it felt right now that they were actually on Earth. And, after what he had just seen, he needed a drink. And some company.

He found her in Medical, watching Raven Reyes. He assumed the surgery had just finished. Finn Collins held her hand, his head resting against her shoulder, both of them apparently asleep. He stepped up behind her and tapped her arm with the bottle. Startled, Abby looked at the whiskey then him.

"What happened?" She asked, brushing the bottle aside. She didn't think it was wise to drink, not with everything that was going on. Thankfully, not much of the liquid had disappeared since they had opened the bottle last.

"I saw three men crucified to a tree today," Kane whispered, taking another swig of the alcohol.

It was nothing like watching someone get floated. Sure, the end product was still the same — someone died — but this time around, it was so bloody and violent; floating just took all of the air out of someone's lungs in an instant, it was a quick death. These men had been tortured.

"I operated on Raven's spine without anesthesia."

He glanced over at the girl on the table before saying, "I don't know who wins here."

"It's not a competition, Marcus."

"Isn't it always, Abby?" He took another drink.

She reached over and took the bottle out of his hands, setting it on the table behind her. He frowned and stared down at her. Avoiding his gaze, she said, "I think you've had enough. You're the chancellor, Marcus. You can't let anyone see you like this."

"Other than you, of course."

"Of course." A smile tugging at one corner of her mouth. "Any news from the search team in the woods?" He pursed his lips and her smile faltered. "You never sent the team, did you?"

"If I let all of my decisions be swayed by my affection toward you, I would put everyone at risk constantly."

Her jaw clenched before she said in a quiet, angry voice, "If you actually cared about me, you would be out there, combing those woods for those missing kids. For _my_ kid!"

"We need to know what we're up against, Abby! You didn't see those guards on that tree! We can't go out there without a plan. More people would die and I won't allow that." She didn't look at him but he took her hand anyway. He leaned down and rest his forehead against hers, saying in barely a whisper, "I'm sorry we didn't find her yesterday. But Clarke's tough, Abby; she's still out there."

"That's not what I'm worried about, Marcus."

"Then what is it?" He asked, running his thumb along her jaw.

"That she'll be dead before you send anyone out to look for her." Her tone was innocent enough, but the way her body tensed up against his, he could tell something was wrong.

"We have to know what we're up against. I'm trying, Ab—"

"You're not trying hard enough, Kane!" She said harshly as she pulled away from him.

He stared at her, slack-jawed. Blinking away his astonishment, he spat back, " _Not trying hard enough?_ I've been risking my men out there and what has it gotten me? Nothing but dead bodies, Abby!"

She turned to him, letting out a huff of breath in anger. "And you blame that on me!"

He released a slow, shaky breath. "Of course not. Why would you think that?"

Abby rolled her eyes and let out a scoff. "Why do you think?"

She walked away, heading out of the room. Kane started to follow her, but he went back for the whiskey — it couldn't be left lying around. He slid it into his jacket and pulled the zipper up.

Abby was speaking to Jackson outside, asking him to watch over medical — she needed a break. "Find me when Raven wakes up."

"Of course," Jackson said with a light touch of her wrist. She smiled at him and walked into Alpha Station, Kane just watched her go. He sighed and found Sinclair near the edge of camp, inspecting the fence posts that were being put in.

"How much longer until these are up and running?" Kane asked, looking up at the tall post.

Sinclair turned to look at him. "A day — two at most, sir."

"Good," Kane said with a nod. "This fence is our top priority, Sinclair."

"Of course, sir."

Kane walked away, he considered saying something more, but thought better of it. He had other business to attend to. He planned to take a few guards out into the woods for a sweep before dark.

* * *

According to his watch, it was nearing midnight. He thought about going to bed, knew it would be smart. He was supposed to be up early in the morning to meet with the guard to start training with Davis, the Earth Skills teacher.

He sat at the desk and grabbed the dropper. The Eden Tree was in the center and he reached out, adding several drops of water to the soil. He set the dropper down and ran a hand through his hair. He leaned forward and put his face in his hands, wondering if his mother would have been proud that he brought the tree to Earth.

 _Tap, tap, tap._

Kane looked up at the sound before adding another drop of water to the Eden Tree and rising from his seat. He strode across the room and stood at the door, checking his watch again. 11:41 p.m; far too late for visitors.

He opened the door and let out a breath. He said, "Abby, what are you doing here?"

"I heard you took a group out into the woods," she said, brushing past him into the room. He shut the door behind her and turned to find her at the Eden Tree, adding some water. She glanced over at him. "Are you going to plant this?"

"Soon." She nodded and capped the dropper. He walked slowly across the room toward her. "What are you doing here, Abby?"

"Like I said, I heard about the—"

He shook his head. "You needed to know about it this instant? I've been back for hours."

"I was going to wait until morning, but I couldn't sleep." She said, after a moment.

His eyes narrowed suspiciously, but he didn't say anything. "We didn't find anything out there. Didn't hear anything either. I'm sorry."

"You need to stop apologizing every time she's not found." Abby said with a sigh. "Like you said, this will take time."

"Now you listen to me," he said with a roll of his eyes. He walked away from her and sat down on the couch. She leaned against the desk and watched him rub his eyes as he leaned forward. "You have your answer, now I want one. I'm quite tired, Abby. How long do you plan to stay?"

She walked over to him and said, "That's what you're going to ask? You could have asked anything and you went with that? Seems like a wasted opportunity, Marcus." She sat next to him on the couch, so close their arms were touching.

"Will you at least humor me with an answer?" He asked dryly, too tired to play games.

"I don't know."

"Is that an answer or…"

"It's an answer."

He nodded and let silence consume them for several minutes as he rest his head against the back of the couch with his eyes closed. Abby lay her head against his arm and sat in silence with him.

"I do care about you, you know." His voice startled her, he felt her jump. "You said earlier that I didn't, but that couldn't be further from the truth."

"Then what is the truth?" She asked, running her hand along his arm, causing the hair her fingers passed over to stand on edge.

He smiled and thought it over, but under her unwavering gaze, it was a little difficult. He cleared his throat and said, "Despite how much you yell at me and question everything I do," she looked away, "you're still the most important person in my life."

Her mouth curved into a smile and he tilted her chin toward him so he could look at her. He said, "You can stay as long as you want. I only have to be up in," he checked his watch, on the arm trapped awkwardly between their bodies, "5 hours."

He smiled at her. She leaned forward and pressed their lips together. It was starting to feel normal, kissing her. Kane was almost at the point where she didn't feel like she was going to slip away each time he held her. He almost felt like this could work. But Abby was just so…headstrong. He didn't know if he could deal with that, not when her decisions put others in jeopardy.

Abby pulled away after a while and said, out of breath, "I should let you get some sleep."

He shook his head. "I can function on a relatively low amount."

She laughed, a soft sound; he didn't know the last time he had heard her make it. "I know that's a lie."

"You caught me." His smile faltered and he sighed. "I should be getting to bed."

She beamed as she looked at him, the corners of her eyes crinkling. She leaned over again and kissed him hard, her fingers sliding into his hair as her other hand rested on his chest.

Against her lips, he murmured, "I'll never get there if you keep doing this."

She chuckled and pulled away from him. "You win."

"I always do," he replied, a half-smile on his face.

Her eyebrows rose, a challenge on her face. He smirked and stood up, pulling her with him. "Another time," he said, walking her to the door. He kissed her quickly before opening the door for her.

"I'll hold you to that," she said as she walked out.

He smiled, shutting the door behind her. He took a deep breath before walking toward his bedroom. He stripped off his shirt and took off his pants; he didn't have pajamas, but he sure as hell wasn't going to sleep in his clothes — boxers would have to do. He fell asleep almost immediately.

* * *

He was woken by a knock on the door. This one wasn't soft like Abby's had been earlier. It was booming and echoed throughout the room. He threw on a pair of pants and rushed over to the door from the bedroom. Throwing it open in agitation after checking his watch and seeing it was only 4:27 a.m., Kane spat, "What?"

Major Byrne stood on the threshold, dressed for the day in her guard's uniform. "There's been a development downstairs, sir. Something's happened—"

"Spit it out already, Major." He didn't try to hide his anger, it was far too early for that.

"The prisoners have escaped."


	4. Getting Byrned

_"She's to be supervised at all times…confined to quarters when not at work. Is that clear?" - Marcus Kane, "Reapercussions"_

* * *

 _Of course it was her_ , he thought sadly as he walked toward Medical. He was so angry, he could barely think but when he finally walked through the door and his eyes fell on her, organizing the supplies, he had plenty to say.

"How could you, Abby!" He shouted. Jackson froze in his place and Abby nodded toward the door. He set down what he had and left quickly. Kane continued as if Jackson hadn't been there at all, "Releasing criminals, arming them — those are felonies! You've always done whatever you wanted without a thought for the rules. As chancellor, you can't expect me to overlook this just because it's you."

"You weren't elected chancellor, Marcus. You only got the job because Thelonious beat you to redemption," she said harshly.

"I know, and I vaguely remember you being relieved that I was too slow." His voice was challenging and she stared at him hard for several moments before her face softened.

"What are you going to do to me, Marcus?"

"Where'd those kids go?" He asked, forcing himself to look at her. She may have let her guard down, but he wasn't going to, not that easily.

"Do you really think I'd go through the trouble of releasing them to tell you now?"

"I suppose not."

"Marcus," she breathed his name but when she spoke again, her voice was strong as if she hadn't spoken it at all. "Tell me what happens now."

He cleared his throat, it felt like swallowing an apple whole. She busied herself with the medical supplies again, acting as if her coming punishment didn't concern her in the slightest.

"You know the rules. The Exodus Charter, Abby," his voice dropped an octave. He thought of taking a step closer to her and running his hand along her arm. He held back — he needed to show strength here. He couldn't always go rushing to touch her. Kane said, his arms crossed over his chest, "But, some rules are meant to be broken. I know why you did it, you want to find Clarke. I'm moving too slow with the search parties. I'm sorry, but I'm not taking unnecessary risks."

She turned to face him. "If you're too soft on me, they'll never take you seriously."

"There's no need for such harsh punishments here. Floating people is a thing of the past, Earth can sustain us. We aren't restricted by the Ark any longer. The Exodus Charter was made to be rewritten, Abby."

"But, Marcus—"

"I will not have you shocked!" He snapped, glaring at her. "Stop it! I don't need them to respect me, I don't care! You will not be hurt!"

She smiled sadly as she reached up to stroke his cheek. "What do you propose instead?"

He shrank away from her hand and walked away from her. "I don't know, I have to discuss it with someone else."

"Marcus—"

"Stop!" He shouted. She stopped mid-step, halfway across the room toward him. Her mouth was half-agape as she stared at him, her eyes wide. He bit his tongue to keep from saying anything to comfort her — he was still too upset.

After a few moments of glaring at her, he turned toward the door. About to walk out of the room, he paused as the door slid open. "When you came to my room last night, was that before or after…?"

"After."

He nodded and left, passing Jackson on the way.

* * *

He sat at his desk, adding water to the Eden Tree. His talk with Byrne hadn't gone as well as he thought it would. The major was going to be trouble for him, he knew it. He stared at the leaves of the tree, they were thriving now that the tree wasn't on the Ark. He glanced out the window at the gleaming sun and wondered where he would plant it when he went on his suicide mission; if he would say a few words for his mother, for all those who died on the Ark, on Earth.

His door burst open; he thought he had locked it. He turned toward the intruder and was surprised to find Jackson running toward him in a panic.

"Is there a problem in Med—"

"Byrne arrested Abby," Jackson grabbed his arm roughly and pulled him toward the door. Jackson starting running and Kane had no choice but to follow. "She's acting under the Exodus Charter. Shock-lashing, sir."

 _"Shit."_ He spat, sprinting at top speed out of Alpha Station, Jackson struggled to keep up. Bursting through the outer doors, Kane held up a hand to block out the bright sun so he could see the scene completely.

Abby's arms were pulled apart, bound by yellow straps. Her legs were limp and the straps were the only thing that held her up. Byrne, brandishing her baton, said, "Again." Kane watched as Abby gripped the straps and pulled herself up until her feet were planted on the ground.

"That's enough!" He yelled, running over. Abby's eyes lit up before the baton made contact with her back. "Major Byrne, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Acting under the Exodus Charter, Chancellor," she replied, her voice harsh with just a hint of fear creeping through.

"And who ordered you to arrest Dr. Griffin?" He kept his voice authoritative — he was the chancellor, after all — but everyone in the crowd could tell how furious he was.

Byrne didn't look at him as she answered, "I acted as I saw fit, sir."

Kane let out a sigh, an impossible feat because his jaw was clenched so tight to keep from screaming at her. He finally said, as calmly as he could, "Get her down."

"But, sir—"

He yelled, a finger jabbing in Byrne's direction, "I'll deal with you later!"

"Yes, sir," she said as two other guardsmen released Abby from the straps. She crumpled to the ground and Kane rushed to her. He didn't care that everyone in the camp was watching, he scooped her up into his arms and walked away toward Medical, cradling her against his chest.

* * *

He pressed the swab against her back and she shrank away from it. He stared down at the six oozing welts on her back. He didn't know how to make her feel better, she was in agony. Her hands were braced on the edge of the table, he could see the whites coming out in her knuckles as he pressed the swab against another welt.

"Abby, I'm so sorry," he breathed. He touched her shoulder and was surprised when she leaned into it. He leaned down to kiss her when her shoulder met her neck. "Could you ever forgive me?"

She said, "You didn't do this, Marcus."

"I know, but I'm responsible." His voice broke and he clenched his jaw tight to keep a shaky breath in. Weakly, he said, "I'm leading a mission to bring the kids back."

She turned toward him, wincing from the pain. "You are?"

"Yes, I plan to make contact with the Grounders' commander, to negotiate for peace. The kids could be stirring up trouble out there," he said, unable to look at her. "I'm taking the Grounder prisoner with me to guide the way."

She touched his arm lightly. "It could be a trap, Marcus."

"Then it's a trap," he shrugged.

She hopped off the table with difficulty and stood in front of him, looking stronger than ever. "I'm coming with you."

"Absolutely not," he held her at a distance by her shoulders. She stared at him defiantly. "You're needed here at camp. I need you to be chancellor, Abby."

He took her hand and dropped the pin in it. She stared at it in her palm before curling her fingers over it. "You know you can still be chancellor even if you leave…"

He shook his head. "If you want to return it if I make it back, you can."

 _"If?_ " She asked, sighing heavily. "Don't start talking like that."

One corner of his mouth twitched up into a half-smile for a moment. "I'm being realistic, Abby."

"When are you leaving?"

"Soon," he replied, unable to look at her. "I have to get ready, prepare my men."

She nodded, looking him in the eye. "This had better not be a suicide mission, Marcus."

"I can't promise anything."

She sighed and leaned up, placing her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. She pressed her lips to his and he wrapped his arms around her for a moment.

"Is this really the best time to be getting involved?" He whispered, backing out of her embrace. Her face fell as she watched his body tense up, his brows furrow, his eyes squeeze shut for a moment. When they opened, all she saw was the pain.

"Why are you saying this?" She asked, making sure not to touch him. It would only make things worse.

The corners of his mouth tightened before he said, "With everything going on — me leaving, the kids still missing — I don't know if this is the—"

"Marcus, shut up already. If we wait for the right time, we'll be dead." He nodded and let her take his hand. "All I know is…I'm ready for this. Okay?"

"Okay." He leaned over and kissed her for a brief moment.

 _"Chancellor,"_ his earpiece crackled to life. _"We're ready for you."_

"I have to go."

"I know." She grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and pulled him close again. Her lips crashed against his, overlapping as she fought to get closer to him. He grabbed her hips and pulled her flush against him, making sure to steer clear of her back.

He pulled away reluctantly after a few minutes and held her softly by the neck with both hands as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I'm sure I'll be back in a few days."

"That's the spirit," she joked. He smiled before walking away.

"Abby," Kane said, pausing at the door. She looked up from the table. "I trust you to deal with Major Byrne's punishment for me?"


	5. Reflection

_"We came in peace." - Marcus Kane, "Fog of War"_

* * *

Jaha had been taken away hours ago. He hadn't returned. It was foolish of him to try what he did, attacking the commander like that. Kane sat against the wall of the old train station, staring at the ceiling. He was long past wondering what made him think this was a good idea. Despite the fact that he should be contemplating what he would say to the commander, he could only think of Abby.

"The commander wants to see you," Gustus barked as he lumbered through the open door. He stared down at Kane, who hadn't moved since the last time he had been in the room. "The door's open, you do know that? You're not a prisoner anymore."

"Am I allowed to leave?" Kane asked, not bothering to look up at Gustus.

"No—"

"Then I'm a prisoner."

Gustus stared at him for a moment before hauling Kane's limp form to his feet. He pushed Kane in front of him and the man reluctantly walked forward. He turned when Gustus told him to and stopped when he stood outside a set of doors. Gustus pressed the tip of his sword against Kane's back. "Go in, but if you harm her in any way, you'll wish your friend had slit your throat in the cell."

"Noted," Kane muttered.

He turned the knob of one of the two doors and it swung open, revealing a large room with a throne bent from tree branches in the center. A woman was seated upon the throne, her eyes cast in shadow from smeared black paint on her face.

 _"Mochof, Gostos,"_ the commander said, waving him away. Her man hesitated for a moment, but she stared him down and he turned on his heel and marched out of the room. She stared at Kane for longer than made him comfortable before asking, _"Yu laik Markos? Yu ste yuj."_

"Yes," He answered uncertainly. He stood before her at full height despite his hunger pains that threatened to double him over. He hadn't eaten in two days, nor had he a drop of water in all that time. "But, to clarify, what does it mean?"

She raised an eyebrow and asked, "Are you sincere in your wish to know?"

"I'm here, I might as well learn something."

Lexa smiled. "I like you, _Markos kom Skaikru._ I said, 'You are strong.' That is why you are their leader."

"It's a bit more bureaucratic than that." She stared at him in confusion. He elaborated, "It has more to do with hierarchy of the political system than anything else. I took over as chancellor when the previous one stayed behind in space. But, he made it anyway and you just took him who knows where."

"That man was the commander before you? I don't hold much hope for your people." Lexa crossed her arms as she stared at him, as if she felt he had been lying the whole time. He could see a small knick on her neck from the blade Jaha had held to her throat. From what little he knew about these people, he wasn't too hopeful that Thelonious was still alive.

"I don't blame you," he replied sincerely. "Not all of my people want peace, that is true. But I came here to plea for it and I intend to see it to the end, no matter what end it is."

"Your life doesn't end here." He kept calm on the outside, but inside, he felt like a weight had been lifted. "I was impressed with how you offered up your own life to save your friend and your people. Is that something you do regularly? Speaking as someone who wishes to stay in power, that doesn't seem the way to go."

"I don't have power, not really."

"Then why am I speaking with you? Are you not the leader, as you claimed to be?"

"I transferred my power to another before leaving, camp would have been in chaos if not."

"Your second?" She was trying to understand how their system operated, he could at least give her the same courtesy.

"My something," he said quietly.

Lexa seemed to be evaluating him, but he didn't know why. She had already determined he was honorable enough in his intentions. She seemed to trust him since she was alone in the room with him — though even if he wanted to kill her, he wouldn't get very far.

"How many people have you killed, Marcus of the Sky People?"

"321," he said it instantly, adding the killing of one of the Grounders to his total. He didn't count any he floated, that was all done under the law on the Ark. But, the Culling, he couldn't discount that.

One of Lexa's eyebrows raised half an inch, but only for a moment. "Why?"

"I killed one of your people because he was holding two of mine hostage. The remaining 320 happened on the Ark, on a single day." He let out a deep breath before continuing, hating how he felt the shake go through his body. He hoped it didn't show. He clenched his fists behind his back to keep his entire body from showing his shame. "We were running low on oxygen. We had already sent the 100 to the ground. We just needed more time. While I wasn't the one to push the button, I made the plan to sacrifice 320 of our citizens to buy more time for the rest of us."

"And that choice this haunts you?"

"More than you could imagine."

Lexa stared at him for nearly a solid minute and he just let her. "You choices are made with the thought of saving your people; I respect that. I'll give you peace, Marcus. I just need one thing from you. As their commander, I need you say, _'Jus drein jus daun,'_ I need _you_ to order it."

"And what exactly _am_ I ordering?" He asked, but it was only a moment before he connected the sayings. " _Blood must have blood,_ right? Could you tell me more about the attack? Whose blood is being repaid?"

"Two of your warriors came into Tondc two days ago. One opened fire and killed 18 of our people. He was under the impression we had his friends. We did not."

"Who were they?" He asked, trying to remain calm. This was why he had come, to broker peace and it was still on the table.

"The other boy called your assassin 'Finn.' Do you know him?"

Kane sighed. "Of course. He's wildly infatuated with my…with Clarke. I'm sure you've heard of her."

"Yes, I'm to meet with her soon. I expect." Lexa said, nodding. She had yet to take her eyes off of him and he was finding it difficult to maintain the eye contact. He didn't want to offend her though. "We'll be leaving in a matter of days. You're to come."

"Of course," he said, though he knew he had no choice in the matter.

"I'm sure you're hungry, there's food in the other room."

"Thank you," he said as relief flooded him, "you're a gracious host."

"And you're a pleasant prisoner."

His smile faltered. "I thought I wasn't a prisoner."

Lexa's eyes were cold as she replied, "We both know what you are, Marcus: a bargaining tool."

* * *

They had transported him with a bag over his head on the back of some animal — he figured a horse. The rocking of the beast as it trotted along after its fellows had made him queasy, especially since he couldn't see where it was headed. After what felt like days, the animal stopped and the bag was pulled off his head as his hands were untied.

They were in another part of the forest, he hoped closer to Camp Jaha. He hoped they were one step closer to letting him return home. The sun was starting to lower.

" _Skaihef,_ with me," Gustus barked at Kane from his horse. Kane stared down at the horse he was riding — it had a small, second head coming out of the spot its left ear should've been. Kane's nose crinkled in disgust and he slid off the beast.

Others had arrived before them, or they had come to an established city, because tents were set up. He hoped for the former, as an established Grounder city would be further than he wanted from Camp Jaha. Gustus led him into one of the tents and he expected to find Lexa there, but was met with a tall man with brown eyes and light brown skin.

 _"Heda sei yu ai em op,"_ Gustus told the other man before leaving Kane alone with him. Kane glanced at the other man before taking a seat on the ground. Night was falling outside the tent and he was getting tired.

His guard seemed wide awake and very alert. He could hear an angry conversation happening outside the tent in Trigedasleng. Kane sat up and glanced over at the man.

"Your leader met with the commander before we arrived. Showed her how to heal a Reaper," he said, still staring at the door.

"My leader?"

"Girl, blonde hair, young. Clarke," he answered.

It made no sense to him, Clarke certainly wasn't the leader. Abby was. What did Clarke think she was doing?

"Get some sleep, _Skaihef,_ " he said, glancing over at Kane.

"Why do you people keep calling me that?" He asked, curious.

"It means 'skyman,'" his guard answered, his gaze resting on the door again.

Kane thought for a moment. "Could you teach me?"

"Teach you what?"

"Your language."

Kane didn't sleep much that night, talking instead with Penn. He learned many of the simple sayings, having to repeat them numerous times for his teacher before he was given the okay.

And when morning came, Penn shook him awake violently.

"Much is happening, _Skaihef,_ " He said, glancing toward the door. "Get up."

Kane rose to his feet and listened to the chanting growing louder outside. "What's going on?"

"Your people's time is up," he replied.

"Bring _him_ out," Kane heard Lexa shout.

Penn took him by the arm and pulled him out of the tent. The chanting was even louder outside and he was led right to Lexa on the edge of the trees. She looked over at him for a moment before staring out through the trees at Camp Jaha. He sighed in relief.

"Your people refuse to give up the assassin. Your leader turns my men away." Through the trees, he could see Abby standing at the gates, watching the retreating riders. "Your second, yes?"

"Most of the time I think it's the other way around," he answered with a smile.

"She is starting a war," Lexa replied, looking at him seriously.

"Please, let me talk with them," Kane pleaded.

Lexa grabbed him by the collar and pointed through the trees at her returning riders. "You know my terms. Tell them and then we can have the peace you want so desperately." He could hear the shouts of _'Jus drein jus daun'_ dying out as the horn was blown. "Go to your people, _Markos kom Skaikru._ "

"Thank you, Lexa." He said, looking at her for a moment before pushing his way through the trees. Daylight broke through the branches and he raised his hand to block the sun that blinded him. He wove through the large stumps and logs and rose both hands in the air, waving them. As he got closer, he called, "Don't shoot! Don't shoot!"

He had rounded a rather large tree stump and breathed, "Abby."

She was walking toward the gate, there had been shouts of movement on the tree line. She stopped dead when she spotted him, her face relaxing, her eyes softening. He smiled and walked faster, very aware of the eyes on his back in the woods and all of camp staring at him.

Abby called out as he passed through the gate, "I was afraid that I wouldn't see you again."

"I had those fears myself," he admitted before he wrapped his arms around her tight, kissing her forehead. She leaned her head against his chest and his chin rest on top of her head. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking in a few deep breathes.

"I thought you were dead, you idiot," she whispered.

A deep rumbling laugh started in his chest and worked its way out. "I'm sorry, I was held up." He pulled back and pressed a fierce kiss against her mouth, overly aware that everyone was watching them.

"Marcus," she muttered as she pulled away from him, "in front of everyone?"

"Who cares anymore?"

She smiled as Bellamy called out, "Sorry to break this up, but we shouldn't be out in the open. Grounder army, remember?"

"We're safe, for the moment." To Abby, he said, "Come on, the Council needs to meet."

They were in the Council chamber just two minutes later, Kane seated and Abby standing not far around the table, leaning against it. They were waiting for Jaha to be brought in before starting.

"Did they treat you well?"

"Were you worried?" He asked with a smirk on his face.

Abby scowled. "Shut up, Marcus."

He only smiled more at that. "You were."

"You were gone nine days; I had plenty of time to go over possible scenarios." She whispered, staring at the table. "You can't imagine how many ways I thought they had killed you."

"Abby," he breathed, standing up and walking around the table to her.

She held up a hand and said, "Don't." She didn't meet his eyes as she spoke. "You kept saying that you might not make it back, that you couldn't promise anything. I started believing that you didn't even care if you did. Then Thelonious came back and told me everything."

Kane sighed, staring at her hands braced on the edge of the table.

She continued, "You told him to kill you. You sliced your wrist." She stared at the bandage on his arm. "And there's no way you knew that girl was their commander and that it would all work out. You wanted him to kill you. Just like you wanted to stay behind on the Ark." Finally, she looked at him, but he couldn't bear to look at her. "All I want to know is: why?"

He was silent for a moment, feeling her eyes burning a hole in him. She was angry, though she wasn't showing it. She didn't raise her voice at least, which somehow made it worse — he wished she had just yelled at him. "Abby, you have to understand…one of us had to die. After everything I've done, I couldn't let myself be the one to walk away while someone else paid the price. Not after what I did on the Ark—"

"How many times do I have to tell you, you weren't the only one who made that decision?"

"It was my plan!" He shouted at her. "I came up with it! If I had waited even a few hours, none of those people would have died!"

"They would have all died! Most of their children still died, blown up on the way to Earth, Marcus! Or did you forget that?" She asked, grabbing ahold of his jacket with one hand. She sighed and released him. "You did what you had to. We all do."

"But there's a difference between being right and not." He glanced down at the chancellor pin on her jacket. "That's why I don't even want that back. Keep it."

"I might have just started a war over one child, you should be chancellor." Abby said, reaching to unclasp the pin. Kane grabbed her hand.

"Don't you dare," he whispered. He pulled her hand away. "It's yours—"

The doors slid open and two guards walked in with Thelonious Jaha between them, his hands were bound in rope. "Welcome back, Chancellor." He glanced at Abby for a second. "Or is she still the chancellor? I've learned to not fight her on the subject." He held up his bound wrists for emphasis.

"Leave it alone, Thelonious." Kane snapped. He sat down in his chair and waited for the other two to join him. Abby was the first to sit and, after the guards left, Jaha sat opposite them, rubbing his unrestrained wrists.

"You said we were safe, how?" Abby asked, all business now.

"They won't attack us so long as we give them Finn," Kane said.

Abby glared at him. "We can't. He's just a child, Marcus."

"And they want him dead!" Jaha snapped at Abby. Both Abby and Kane stared at him. "Abby, you have to listen to reason. Finn murdered 18 of their people; he's guilty no matter how you look at it. Kane, you've spent time with her, what would the commander agree to?"

"It's a long shot, but we might be able to put him on trial ourselves," Kane replied slowly. "We could control the process, the outcome."

"They would only settle for death, Marcus!" Abby protested.

"Then we'll give him a better death than they will!" Kane roared, half-rising from his seat. His chest rose rapidly as he breathed heavily; he fought to control it. Seated, he said calmly, "I know this is hard, Abby. But this is the best option for the boy, believe me. Thelonious and I've seen Grounder justice, it's not favorable. We don't want to give him up to them."

"I don't like it," Abby whispered, staring at him.

"Abby," Jaha began, "if we put him on trial ourselves, we can control it. I know it's difficult to process, but Finn messed up. If we were still on the Ark, he would have been floated in a second."

"We're not on the Ark," Abby reminded him. "We don't need such harsh punishments—"

"He murdered innocent people, Abby!" Kane objected, letting out a deep sigh. "They want him dead, he's going to die either way. Let's do it on our terms."

Abby was silent, Jaha and Kane shared a look. The men knew what needed to be done, what the Grounders would allow to be done. Finn had to die.

Finally, Abby conceded, "Okay."


	6. The Tent

_"They're being led by a child." - Abby Griffin_

 _"So are we." - Marcus Kane, "Remember Me"_

* * *

It was a long walk to Tondc. They walked in front of Lexa and Gustus on their horses, Abby figured the commander wanted to keep an eye on them. Abby, however, wanted to keep an eye on Clarke, who walked in front of her with Bellamy. The two were talking, but her daughter kept staring off into the woods. Yet, when Abby passed the same spot, there was nothing there.

"She's not okay, is she?" Abby asked, watching Clarke as the sun began to set.

Kane glanced over at Abby. He had been silent for a long time, letting Abby think, something she was grateful for. "No one would be okay after that."

Abby looked at him, he was staring ahead, but not at Clarke and Bellamy. It was like he was looking right through them. She touched his arm lightly and he blinked before turning his head to her. She asked, "Are you all right?"

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "Why wouldn't I be?"

He turned to look forward again and Abby now found herself watching him too.

They made camp twenty minutes later in a small clearing. Kane set up the tent he had been carrying, told Abby it was hers for the night. For a man who had kissed her in front of everyone the previous night, he was acting very aloof. She put her backpack in the tent and unrolled her sleeping bag, watching through the open flap as Marcus built the fire. His shoulders were hunched, not just because he was bent over the wood. There was something different about him.

She exited the tent as the flames flickered to life and Kane rested back on his haunches. Sitting down on the log a few feet from the fire, Abby said, "You'll burn yourself if you stay that close."

She heard a breathy, humorless laugh escape him as he stood and walked over to her. He sat next to her on the log. Abby took his hand and began to unravel the bandage around his wrist. "What are you doing?" He asked, pulling his hand out of hers.

"Checking the wound," she answered simply. She grabbed his hand more forcefully and pulled it to her. She stole a glance at his face and wished she hadn't — it was colder than she'd ever seen it. She turned her eyes back to the bandage and peeled it away.

The wound was straight and pink, healing nicely. He hadn't hesitated when he cut himself, it was too neat for that. "Does it hurt?"

"No," he answered quickly. Of course he would lie, he wanted to seem strong. Abby took the bandage out of her pocket that she had brought from her bag and placed it over the wound. "You just wanted to see it."

"You shouldn't be treating it yourself," Abby replied.

"And you're still mad at me for doing it."

Abby sighed. "Of course I am. You didn't think, you just cut. You don't even think about yourself anymore."

Though he spoke in a whisper, his voice was laced with anger. "Would you prefer I only thought about myself like I used to? Would you prefer I ignore what's best for our people and only do what's best for me? I would have killed Jaha."

"What does Thelonious have to do with this?"

"Why'd you lock him up?" He asked, keeping his voice down and his face calm though she knew he was more than upset. If anyone looked over at them, it would seem like they were simply chatting.

"He tried to have me arrested when I wouldn't order the abandonment of Alpha Station. He tried to take over as chancellor. He wanted to leave without the kids, without you."

Kane let the last comment go. "He was there with me. He's seen Grounder justice, knows you would have all been slaughtered. You're lucky the Commander doesn't want war with us or you would have gotten it."

"You're saying I was wrong in turning those riders away, in not fleeing?" She asked, staring at the fire because she couldn't bring herself to look at him.

"I'm saying you shouldn't underestimate them," Kane whispered. "And you should value Thelonious' input."

Abby didn't reply and a silence fell over them. She looked across the fire at Clarke, who was talking with Bellamy again. It wasn't hard to tell who the true leaders were, at least who the Grounders thought were their leaders. She wondered when she had lost it, when Marcus had.

She turned back to him, her mouth open to ask him something, but he was gone. She watched as the other fires were extinguished and people went to bed, she thought about putting theirs out when Kane finally returned. She didn't ask him where he'd been, he'd only close off more.

"The tent's there, if you want to come in," was all Abby said, lightly touching his arm as she stood. She didn't look back at him as she unzipped the tent and closed it behind her.

The waiting was the worst, she could see his shadow cast onto the tent from the low fire. Another shadow joined his and she heard a hushed conversation, though she couldn't make out the words. At first she thought they were mumbling, but after a few minutes, she realized they were speaking Trigedasleng. The other man walked away after some time and still, Kane remained at the fire. Abby rolled over and tried to sleep, lying to herself about how much it hurt that he hadn't come in.

* * *

Her watch read 12:56 a.m. when she heard the zipper of the tent open. She had been in a restless sleep, the constant snapping of twigs and rush of wind through the leaves were keeping her on edge. She didn't turn to him, didn't want him to know she was awake. She heard him unfurl his sleeping bag and kick off his boots, then he was laying next to her, all without saying a word.

The sound of the metal teeth of her bag's zipper being pulled apart broke the silence. Abby pursed her lips to keep from smiling, but when she felt his hand on her hip, she couldn't fight it. It was when his lips made contact with her neck that she turned to him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning over her as he caressed her cheek. Her gaze flickered to his lips for a second and he leaned down to kiss her.

There wasn't any urgency as his mouth moved slowly over hers. Every touch of his lips was an apology, every stroke of his hands a promise to do better. He kissed her neck as he pulled her shirt up, followed immediately by her bra. He looked down at her with a hunger in his eyes, he was smiling to himself. He said, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this."

Abby reached up and ran her hand through his hair. "Then get on with it."

He laughed, a breath really, and shrugged out of his jacket before pulling his shirt over his head. "You want to get it over with then? 'Cause we don't have to…"

Abby rolled her eyes and pulled him down by his hair for a kiss. He laughed against her lips and his hand trailed down her body to unbutton her jeans.

It was all a blur after that for Abby. Kane's mouth, she had decided, was the best part of him. He brought her to an orgasm before even taking off his pants and when he tried to keep going, she had to push him away so she could catch her breath. When he was mercifully as naked as she, he took it agonizingly slow, savoring the moment. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this way, but she never wanted it to end.

After, as they lay with one sleeping bag under them and the other draped over, Abby said, "I'll release Thelonious, but if he messes up, it's on you."

Kane chuckled quietly. "I'm sure I'll be able to make it up to you if he does."

Abby couldn't help but laugh. "I _know_ you'll be able to."

* * *

Setting up camp the following night was nothing like the previous. A somber mood hung in the air. Kane was talking in a hushed voice with Indra and occasionally a man named Penn, the one he told her had been teaching him Trigedasleng. Abby had been treating Raven's wounds for some time while trying to keep an eye on Clarke, who definitely wasn't _okay_. Abby had tried to give her Finn's ashes, but she was so closed off emotionally, she didn't take them.

Abby realized how out of the loop she was when word reached her that they had news over the radio from inside Mount Weather. Raven told her nearly an hour after the message had first started repeating. She was chancellor, she should have been told immediately.

She found Kane by their tent, eating something by the fire. He looked up, mid-chew, and after swallowing with difficulty, asked, "You okay?"

She shook her head and sat down next to him. "Raven just told me about Jasper's message from Mount Weather." She glanced at him and he had a strange expression on his face. She sighed, "But you've already heard about it, haven't you?"

"I thought you already knew," he replied, almost embarrassed.

Abby leaned forward and put her head in her hands. "When did I lose all of my power, Marcus?"

He frowned as he looked at her. "You haven't lost it all. Clarke just…the Grounders feel more comfortable with Clarke. She's trying to understand them."

Abby's head shot up. "And I'm not?"

He held up his hands defensively. "I didn't say that. They think she's our leader. Show them you are."

"How?"

He thought for the briefest of moments. "Tomorrow, when we all leave, _stay_. Stay with the commander and Clarke. I'll take the Grounders back to camp and we'll start training. But you need to show them that you're our strong leader. I know Clarke's strong too, but Finn's death has done something to her and I don't think her head's in the right place to be leading us right now."

Abby nodded in agreement. "It's not. But they'll never trust me like they do her. Lexa trusts you, you should stay."

He shook his head. "I'm needed back at camp. Stay here, keep an eye on your daughter. Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."


	7. Against the Wall

_"You may be chancellor, but I'm in charge." - Clarke Griffin, "Coup de Grâce"_

* * *

"I heard you brought back a Mountain Man." Kane walked down the hallway to the airlock where the prisoner was being kept. Abby sat on the floor near the door, her head against the wall, eyes closed.

"He tried to kill Clarke," she replied, without opening her eyes. He walked passed her and stopped, watching the unconscious man through the door with his arms crossed over his chest. "I hear you released Thelonious while I was away."

He turned away from the prisoner and crossed the hallway to sit next to her. He nodded, saying, "I did; I didn't see the point in making him wait until you returned."

"And where is Thelonious now? I haven't seen him."

"I can only assume enjoying his freedom," Kane replied nonchalantly.

"He's still apart of the Council, he needs to be involved in these matters. In the treatment of _him,"_ Abby's eyes flickered to the airlock before meeting Kane's again. "The Grounders think we're weak. Clarke thinks she's stronger than she actually is, strong enough for all of us. She thinks she's in charge."

"She is strong," he replied, taking her hand. "You are too. But Clarke's the one holding the alliance together; Mount Weather sees it, the Grounders see it, Lexa sees it. We should accept it to. She's in charge out there, you're in charge here."

"She's a child," Abby said harshly.

He shook his head. "Not anymore, you have to stop treating her that way."

"You think trusting Clarke to advocate for us is wise?" She asked, pulling away from him.

"Why don't you trust your own daughter?" He asked, staring at the wall across from them.

"Why do you?" She snapped. His head shot to her and all he saw was the anger there. "You told me that Clarke wasn't in the right place to lead us, not after Finn, but you have such faith in her now. Where does this blind conviction come from?"

Kane sighed. "I know what's best for the alliance—"

"Do you?" She laughed.

"I do. In case you forgot, the Grounders trust me too," His jaw was set, she had angered him. "Where's their trust in you?"

Abby scowled and pushed herself to her feet. "You can watch him. I have patients."

"Always your excuse."

* * *

The man's name was Carl Emerson, but that was all Kane had been able to get out of him. Clarke and Abby wouldn't let him torture him for information even though that was the only way to get it out of him. He had stormed off, feeling a little childish. Now, he drank at the bar, away from responsibility for the moment.

It seemed like it was Argument Day, every conversation with Abby had been one. Even what little he had spoken with Clarke had been done with anger. He couldn't win with the Griffin women, not today.

"You look like you could use another," Gina said, refilling his metal mug with moonshine.

"Thanks," he said with a small smile.

"I'll take one of those." He glanced to his right and watched David Miller sit down next to him, wearing his guard uniform.

"Shouldn't you be on duty?" Kane asked, raising the mug to his lips.

Miller picked up the one Gina handed him. "Shouldn't you?"

Kane laughed silently to himself. "Let's hope Gina doesn't tell the Chancellor on us."

"I would never betray your confidences, Councillor." She said, smiling. She set the bottle of moonshine in front of them, warning, "There'd better be some of this left when I get back."

As she walked away, Kane topped off his mug. David asked, "What's causing Councillor Kane to drink during the day?"

"The Chancellor. Clarke."

"Is this about that prisoner they brought back?"

"They don't see that torture's the easiest way to get the answers we need." He took a gulp of the drink, relishing the way it burned his throat even after all of these years. "Their hearts are too soft for these types of decisions. If we're going to get those kids back — your kid — we can't have any reservations about how we get there."

David nodded. "I'm glad one of you is thinking." His mug was already empty, Kane reached to fill it. "Thanks."

"I've never asked you how you're doing."

David stared down at the counter and slid the mug between his hands. "I'm not giving up. That's all I can focus on, getting Nathan back."

Kane nodded. They sat in silence for nearly a quarter of an hour, drinking moonshine and refilling their mugs. A voice broke over the PA system, " _Councillor Kane and Clarke Griffin, please report to the south airlock immediately."_

Kane sighed and downed the last of his alcohol in one final gulp. "Don't drink too much. We'll get Nathan back, I promise."

He clapped David on the shoulder before walking away. It was a long way to the airlock and each step was a reminder of how much he had just drank. Maybe six mugs of moonshine hadn't been a great idea.

Abby and Clarke were waiting for him outside of Emerson's cell. The elder Griffin took one look at him and scowled. Kane ignored her and asked, "Has the non-tortured prisoner said something?"

Abby's scowl intensified. "Not so much in words. I took a blood sample prior to our transfusion and it revealed anomalies that he could only have gotten if he had grown up on the Ark."

"Which means?" He didn't try to hide how little the talk of blood samples interested him.

"They're bleeding my friends, Kane." Clarke was glaring at him. She walked toward the airlock door but he intercepted her.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked, holding her by the shoulders.

"Killing him."

"I can't torture him, but you're allowed to kill him? How fair is that?"

"Have you been drinking?" She actually seemed surprised.

Before he could respond, Abby said, "You're not killing him, Clarke. Despite what you may think, I'm in charge here. We're doing this my way."

Clarke shook her head, looking from Abby to Kane and back again. "Keep telling yourself that, Mom."

She walked swiftly down the hallway, away from the airlock.

"You need to control your daughter," Kane muttered as he began to walk away too.

Abby grabbed his arm, whispering, "And you need to be sober during the day."

He shook his head. "Why bother? You're running the show. What's the point of me?"

Abby glanced at the guards posted outside of Emerson's cell and pulled Kane away from them. She kept a strong grip on his arm all the way to his home and pushed him through the door. She shut it behind her and said, "I don't know what's going on with you, but you can't act this way."

Kane stood with his arms crossed as he stared at her defiantly. "I had a nice talk with David Miller at the bar. He seems to think that I'm the only one who's willing to do what it takes to get those kids out of Mount Weather. You're being too soft with Emerson, just like you're being too soft with Clarke."

"Don't you dare lecture me on how to deal with my daughter."

"She's not just your daughter anymore!" He yelled, walking toward her. "She's leading us to war, Abby. When you realize that she's not just your child, but our commander too, maybe you'll be able to see that you failed in Tondc in getting any real power back!"

Abby pushed him away from her, toward the bathroom. "I can't even look at you. Go shower off that alcohol stench, then maybe we can talk like adults."

He walked out ten minutes later in a pair of jeans, drying his hair with a towel. Abby sat on the couch, still seething. He walked to the galley kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, drinking the whole thing down. She didn't look at him as he sat down next to her. She asked, "Better?"

"Just buzzed now. So, yes."

"Good." That was when she slapped him. He just nodded slowly and moved his jaw back and forth. He admitted, "I deserve that."

"Yes, you do." She replied, staring at the coffee table in front of them. "I'm glad we're in agreement on something."

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the couch, sighing. He knew he was the one messing this up, whatever they had. She was only reacting as anyone would to an idiot who refused to let himself be happy.

"What happened with the Grounders yesterday?" She asked.

"Murphy and Penn started a huge fight, Thelonious thought he was so much better than me for knowing it would happen. The Grounders refuse to use our weapons, which doesn't help when Mount Weather has better ones. Octavia thinks she's some Grounder-born warrior, she was trying to train with them. She might be useful though, she knows a lot about their culture." He peeked at her under his eyelashes. "How was your day?"

She actually laughed, but the sound was unnatural, hollow. "It's just like you said, I failed to get any control back. They didn't even let me into their meeting about Mount Weather, Marcus." She sighed and finally looked at him. "I've lost Clarke to this war."

"We'll get her back, I promise." He wrapped his arm tentatively around her and was relieved when she sank against his chest. He hadn't realized how much he missed the feel of her against him until the moment he had it again.

"You really should put a shirt on," she said, looking up at him with a blush.

"Is it distracting?" He grinned, running his hand along her arm.

"A little," she admitted. "And we should be getting back to Emerson. At least try to get something out of him."

Emerson's cell was empty when they returned to it, the guards were nowhere in sight. Abby and Kane looked at each other; he asked the obvious, "Clarke?"

Abby nodded. "Come on."

They ran out of Alpha to find Emerson in his hazmat suit near the gate surrounded by Grounder warriors and Clarke. Abby yelled out, "What are you doing?"

Clarke ignored her mother and said something to Emerson before yanking on his suit. He took off walking out of the gate; it shut as Kane and Abby reached her.

"Where'd you send him?" Kane asked, staring at the retreating Mountain Man.

"Home," Clarke said simply as she pushed passed him, her shoulder shoving his arm.

"He was our only leverage, Clarke!" Kane snapped, grabbing her arm. She stared at his hand before glaring up at him.

"He's a _message_ , a distraction to keep their eyes off of Bellamy, unless you want him to die." Clarke said, yanking her arm out of his grasp. She motioned for her Grounders to follow.

"Indra," Kane beckoned. The Grounder warrior broke off from the others with an uncertain look and walked toward him. Her eyes flickered to Abby momentarily before they settled on Kane. "Don't you think Clarke's leading you down a dangerous path?"

"Clarke's making moves, what are you doing?" She asked, her eyes narrowing. "Do something and maybe I'll follow you."

* * *

"You were right," Abby admitted as she slid into Kane's bed an hour later, "Clarke's out of control."

"So you didn't need to get mad at me earlier?" He asked, a smirk on his face.

"No, you needed that."

He grinned as he joined her, sliding under the covers. "I think we should make the rounds tomorrow, check in on everyone."

"Like who?" Abby asked, propping herself up on an elbow to look at him.

He smiled at her. "Sinclair, Raven, Wick — make sure they're making Bellamy and those tone generators their top priority. The guards — they have to be ready to go at a moment's notice. Indra — we really do need her on our side."

"You might have to do that. I still have patients."

"Abby, sometimes you need to have priorities," he reminded her gently. "Jackson can handle Medical."

She sighed and nodded. "I know, I just have other responsibilities. I'm more than just the Chancellor."

"Well, tomorrow that's all you need to be."

Abby nodded and leaned toward him. He gripped her hip and pulled her to him. Her hand got lost in his hair as their lips met. He yanked her on top of him and held her in place by her hips. She pulled away, out of breath. "We really should go to sleep."

He just gave her a wicked grin. "Sleep is for the weak, Abby."

Morning came before they would have liked. Running on just a few hours of sleep, Abby headed to Medical to alert Jackson that she would be out all day while Kane went to find David Miller. He was on guard duty at the front gate and looked thoroughly hungover.

"We need to talk about the guards," Kane began as he stepped up next to Miller. The other man turned his head and blinked at Kane, who said, "Sorry, _good morning._ "

"Good morning to you too," Miller replied.

"You look awful," Kane said, staring out at the woods.

"That's what happens when you drink too much."

Kane glanced over at Miller for a moment. "When did you leave the bar?"

"When Gina chastised me and kicked me out."

He shook his head and sighed. "Perhaps we should talk about you instead—"

"I'm fine," Miller said hastily. "What about the guards?"

"They need to be ready to move at a moment's notice. Are they?"

David shook his head. "You know them, always a little haphazard."

"Yes, but they can't be." Kane reasoned. "They have to be ready for anything; we're losing too many of them, they're unprepared for this harsh world. I'm told we lost Byrne in Tondc."

Miller shrugged it off. "She was a good guard, not so great of a person. It's terrible what she did to Abby."

Kane nodded. "I want you training them today; tomorrow's the meeting of the 12 clans in Tondc. We go to war after." Miller understood. Kane dropped his voice so the other guards wouldn't hear and said, "I know we were both low yesterday, but it's only looking up from here. We're that much closer to getting Nathan back, all right?"

"Thank you."

It was off to the mechanical room next. Abby was already there, talking with Raven about her leg, acting as Dr. Griffin rather than Chancellor. Kane cleared his throat as he walked over and Kyle Wick's head popped up from under a table. He slapped some parts on it and said, "Well look at you. You seem weird without the hypoxia and deranged rescue mission clouding your head."

"It's good to see you too, Wick." Kane said with a smile.

"What're you talking about?" Raven asked as she lumbered over to the bench and sat down in front of the parts he just set on the table.

"While you were living it up down here, Kane and I were rescuing people on the Ark after that bitch took the Exodus ship." Wick replied. "We were quite the team."

"You keep telling yourself that. I recall you were more of a damsel in distress — had your arm caught in a door when I found you."

Wick laughed, " _My hero_. And Sinclair told me to hold that door, I did."

Abby interrupted their banter, "How are the tone generators coming?"

"We've made one, but parts are pretty scarce." Wick replied, motioning to what little he had been able to find.

"Have you talked to Sinclair about getting more?" Kane asked.

"He's trying, but there's not much out there. These things are complicated," Wick said.

"So you two are like a team now?" Raven asked, peering up at Abby and Kane as she fiddled with several wires. "From what I've noticed, you're hardly ever apart."

"It's his stylish shoes that did it for you, wasn't it Chancellor?" Wick joked, a smirk on his face.

She averted her gaze and Kane replied, "Shut up, Wick."

He laughed and sat across from Raven, grabbing the contraption from her and taking over. She said, "Hey!"

"What? You weren't doing it right."

She scoffed and grabbed some more parts to start on another one. Abby, having regained her composure, asked, "Where do we stand with Bellamy?"

"He radioed in around six this morning," Raven answered, not looking at Abby as she spoke, her eyes on the mechanical parts in front of her. "I told him I needed consistent reports. We agreed on every three hours."

"Good," Abby replied. "And where is he now within Mount Weather? What's he doing?"

"He's searching for the acid fog system, but it's difficult because his radio's not mobile yet. He has to use the vents for most of his searching to go unnoticed, it's just a little time consuming." Raven replied.

"Make his radio mobile. Can you do that?" Kane asked.

Raven scoffed. "Can I do that? Are you serious, Kane?"

"I'll take that as a 'yes,'" he replied with a smile. "Get it done, the 12 clans meet tomorrow. We need to be ready for war."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." Raven said, waving him off. He walked toward the door, waiting for Abby, who was speaking with Raven in hushed tones. He stood outside the room, leaning against the wall.

"Good morning, sir," Sinclair said, walking toward him carrying a basket.

"Good morning. More parts?"

"I hope so. It's difficult to know what we'll actually need until we've made a few more and have the process nailed down."

Kane nodded but didn't reply. Sinclair took that as an invitation to leave and passed Abby on the way into the room; they exchanged pleasantries and she walked to Kane, taking his arm. Pulling him down the hallway, she said, "I should talk to Indra."

"What was that about with Raven?"

"What was that about with Wick?"

Kane smirked. "I'm sorry he said that in front of her. Should people know that we're—"

"You kissed me in front of everyone, Marcus; they all know." She waved it off. "As for Raven, her leg's bothering her. I've been trying to get her into Medical, but she's too stubborn."

"Sounds like Raven…"

Abby smiled.

They found Indra in the woods outside of Camp Jaha, talking with Octavia Blake, who seemed more Grounder than Sky Person. Abby pulled Indra aside to talk about the meeting of the 12 clans, leaving Kane with Octavia.

"What brought about this change?" He asked, looking her over. She was even dressed as a Grounder, her hair braided like most of them too.

She shot him a glare. "Why haven't you changed? We should all be Grounders."

He chuckled. "You've fought with them, you would think that. What are you to Indra?"

"She made me her second. She's going to train me to be a warrior." She seemed proud as she said it.

Kane nodded. "Good, you should be one."

Her brows furrowed in the middle as she stared at him. "Why do you say that?"

"Watching you fight, you didn't give up. You're tough, Octavia, you're strong. I understand what Indra sees in you."

Her eyes grew wide and she smiled. "Thanks."

One corner of his mouth twitched up into an almost-smile. "You're welcome."

They stood in silence for some time, Octavia eventually sat down and began to sharpen a blade. Kane sat across from her and watched. "How's Lincoln?"

"I don't know." She said it almost angrily, like she was upset at him for being gone and at Kane for mentioning it. "He's still missing, he should have come back from Mount Weather by now." She stopped sharpening her weapon and looked over at him. "I think they got him too."

"Do you want to go after him?"

She sighed. "Isn't that against your rules, or something?"

"Rules are made to be broken," he replied with a shrug.

Octavia scoffed. "This coming from _Councillor Kane_ is laughable."

Kane stood from his stump and started to walk away. "I hope he's okay, I really do. Let me know when you want to understand that people can change, Octavia. You should know better than anyone."

He walked away, she stared after him before sighing and going back to her weapon, feeling like an asshole.

* * *

After meeting with Indra, Abby checked in on patients and met with Raven again, who was alone this time — no Wick to crack jokes and distract her. She was working on the radio dilemma and looked irritated that Abby had shown up. She sat down next to Raven and just waited, watching her work.

"What do you want?" Raven asked harshly, turning toward her. "I'm really not in the mood to talk to you, _Chancellor._ "

"What's wrong, Raven?" She asked.

"Your daughter's put the fate of all of us on me." She replied, glancing down at the wires in front of her. "She thinks I know _everything._ Don't get me wrong, I'm brilliant. But, she just _assumes._ What's she even doing, other than bossing everyone around? She even bosses you around."

Abby took in a deep breath. "She does; I've lost her."

Raven looked at her, a furrow appearing between her eyebrows. She sighed. "I'm sorry, Abby."

Abby shook her head. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be complaining to you. How's that leg doing?"

Raven laughed, "I knew we'd get here. I said it's _fine,_ Abby."

"Raven—"

"God! Abby, it's fine! Leave it alone!" Raven yelled. Abby leaned back, her eyes wide. Quieter, Raven continued, "When I collapse in pain and can't move, then you can look at the damn leg, okay? Now, leave me alone! Unlike you, I have important work to do."

Abby let out a short breath, her mouth hung open a little after as she stood and marched out of the room, not giving Raven a second look. She went to dinner but barely ate. Marcus didn't show up, either at his lesson with Penn or supervising the guard training. After, she went to her room.

It was well after dark when Kane showed up, letting himself in. She was on the couch, reading an old book. He sat down next to her and she leaned against him as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

It was all second-nature to them; they didn't even have to think about it anymore. They moved together so comfortably, like they had been doing it forever. Abby leaned up to kiss him and he met her mouth with ease. Pulling away, Kane asked, "How'd it go with Raven?"

Abby sighed and rested her head on his chest and her book on his lap. "She's resisting, of course. Refuses to let me even look at that leg." She shook her head. "These kids are too head-strong. They think they can keep going on their own like we're not even here."

He nodded slowly. "That's where you come in, Abby. You have to lay down the law."

She sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time. "What if I don't want to?"

"You're Chancellor, it's kind of your job." He reminded. "I personally enjoy not having to make the tough decisions anymore."

She watched as his face grew cold then his whole body slumped down into the couch. She placed her hand on his cheek. "Hey," she said, making him look at her. "Are you okay?"

He laughed quietly.

She whispered, "It's only been a month, it's okay to admit that it still bothers you."

He closed his eyes and said, "It doesn't just bother me, Abby, it eats me up inside."

"You have to start forgiving yourself," she said, taking his hand in hers. "Or, you're never going to make it."


	8. In the Rubble

_"I'm gonna get you out of here." - Abby Griffin, "Resurrection"_

* * *

Abby's words hung with him on his journey to Tondc. It was just Penn and him on the path and he let a lesson in Trigedasleng distract him for most of the trek. They had given him a horse, so he was forced to concentrate on not falling off and breaking his neck too. They were welcomed distractions.

He was almost thankful that Clarke had come to him that morning, telling him he would be going to Tondc in her place. Although he didn't agree with her ordering him to do her bidding, he was fine with getting out of Camp Jaha for a little while. After Abby's comment, things had been weird between them. He had slept in her bed, but they hadn't touched, had slept on complete opposite ends of the bed. And before he left, they had barely spoken, only when required.

He was greeted by Indra and Octavia when he arrived in Tondc well after mid-day. It seemed like ages ago that he was last there, when in reality, it had only been 3 days.

"What are you doing here?" Octavia asked rudely.

"Clarke sent me," he replied as he clumsily dismounted his horse. "She'll hopefully make it in time for the meeting."

"Something to do with Mount Weather? Is Bellamy okay?" Worry was etched on every inch of her face.

"I can only assume, Clarke didn't say—"

"So you don't actually know anything?" She scoffed. "What's the point of you?"

She stalked off. Indra watched her go before turning to Kane. She said, "It would seem she misses Lincoln."

It wasn't like Indra to make excuses. He replied, "Yes, I'm aware."

"Apparently, it makes her ignore what really matters," Indra continued. "Like her duty and winning this war with the Mountain."

Kane made an indistinct noise and walked off, annoyed already with being in Tondc. The meeting wasn't until later that night, still hours away. Honestly, they could have walked and still made it on time. He wished they had, he didn't want to sit around and wait for it all to start, not when he didn't feel like he belonged.

"Marcus."

He turned and found Lexa beckoning him toward her. Relieved to see a friendly face, he walked to her and said, "Commander."

"It's good to see you. But, where's Clarke?" She asked cordially.

"Something happened at Mount Weather; she felt the need to stay behind." He replied, feeling like a broken record at this point in the day. "She's going to try to make it here in time for the meeting."

Lexa nodded and motioned for him to follow her into the building. They descended several levels of stairs, four floors if he counted right, until they reached what looked like a council room. There were no chairs so they stood on opposite sides of the table, leaning against it.

The commander was the first to speak. "I never got the chance to thank you for what you did. Last you were here, it was too chaotic, I couldn't get you alone."

He was confused, she had no reason to thank him for anything. He voiced that and she smiled. She continued, "You spoke with your people when I released you. You knew that giving up the boy was the only way for peace. He may have escaped and given himself up, but you had the intention of releasing him to us."

"But what does that have to do with anything?"

She stared him down. "It has to do with everything. It means I can trust you, something I don't feel with a lot of the Sky People. I don't know if I can trust your leader, but she trusts you."

He smiled sadly. "Apparently I'm trustworthy, that's a change." She looked at him curiously, but he didn't elaborate, just stared down at the table until she cleared her throat. He snapped his head up to look at her.

"I hear Penn's giving you lessons in our language." She had a smile on her face as she looked at him, well, as much of a smile as Lexa was capable of. He didn't know if he had ever truly seen her smile.

"Is that okay?" He asked uncertainly.

"Yes," she replied simply. "How much has he taught you?"

" _Ai'd hodnes kom tel yu ba ai nou_ know myself," he said with a smile.

She gave him a genuine smile at his English at the end of the sentence. He really didn't know how much Penn had taught him; he figured Trigedasleng was a vast language and he had barely scratched the surface.

Lexa said, "At least you're trying."

The corner of his mouth pulled up. Indra walked into the room, nodding at Kane, before turning to her commander. " _Azgeda ste hir."_

Lexa nodded and walked out of the room without a word to Kane. His lips puckered in mild annoyance but he leaned against the table to pass it off like it was nothing. Indra walked toward him.

He asked, "Where's your second?"

"Patrolling with the other seconds," she replied. "I sense some hostility between the two of you."

A laugh threatened deep in his throat but he swallowed it, nodding instead. "Octavia is difficult."

Indra smirked for a moment but her face went blank the next second — her preferred look. "She's a warrior—"

"I'm not denying that. But she can't admit when she's wrong," He said quietly, almost to himself. "And if she wants to lead one day, she'll need that quality."

Indra shook her head. "You still don't understand our culture very well, do you?"

He raised an eyebrow at her.

She continued, "Do you think Lexa makes a mistake and apologizes for it?" She shook her head for emphasis. "Trikru never admits when they're wrong. If you're going to work with us, Marcus, you need to understand at least that."

He nodded. "Anything else I should absolutely understand?"

* * *

Night fell quickly and they were about to start the meeting when Clarke came riding through the gate on horseback. Despite the fact that he was prepared to be the delegate for the Sky People, he was almost relieved to see her. He inquired immediately about the kids in Mount Weather and was brushed off with a hasty, "They're fine for now." She needed to talk with Lexa, it was imperative, apparently. The two hurried inside, leaving him and Indra to stare at each other, eyebrows raised.

They stood guard at the entrance to the building, waiting and waiting, but time kept ticking by and the meeting should have started by now. The leaders were getting restless, questioning Indra — they wouldn't talk to Kane, he was an outsider to them — about Lexa's whereabouts.

"I'm taking people down there to search," Indra said, Kane just nodded. He was staring around at the woods, thought he saw someone moving out there. He kept his eyes on the trees and when Indra came up, confirming his suspicions that Clarke and Indra were indeed gone, he said that they needed to search the woods. "I agree."

"I'll tell the others," he said, nodding toward the building where she had left her search party.

"I'll get more people."

He ran into the building and down the flights of stairs. Four floors down, in that same council-like room, was where he thought he would die. Everything blasted apart in a second and the sound was deafening. He was thrown against the table, bouncing off of it and landing some distance away on the ground. The whole room was collapsing around him and he could do nothing but lay there, in too much agony to move. The pillars were coming down and surely one of them was going to crush him. He heard the table smash under the collapsing ceiling. He closed his eyes and all he could think was her name and picture her face.

He didn't know how long he had been out, but the pain was excruciating and it had woken him. It felt like his leg had been sliced in half. He looked down at it, barely able to lift his head enough to see, and stared at the beam lying on his femur. He was dizzy and on the verge of passing out, so he laid back down, but he knew that if he let himself fall back asleep, his chances of survival were slim to none. Abby had taught him that. There was an exposed piece of pipe not too far above him, sticking out of a fallen concrete pillar, he could reach it if he stretched, but it would hurt. So would lying perfectly still though.

He let out a quiet scream — his vocal chords not wanting to work too well — and heard an echo of it, not his own voice though, and knew there were other survivors down here, Indra's people. He wished he could get to them. But, maybe, just maybe, if someone heard him, they would come and save them all. He stretched and felt something tear but he kept going until he reached the exposed pipe. He grabbed it and pulled it as far down as it would go before releasing. The sound it made was the sweetest noise he had ever heard; it echoed throughout the entire collapsed building and filled him with hope.

He reached up and did it again and again and again. He kept going, fatiguing himself when he didn't have the strength to do anything at all, let alone this. He had to keep at it, not just for himself, but for the people trapped. Someone had to know they were down here.

It was some time before he heard rubble being pushed aside. He kept at it, still moving at that slow pace because he couldn't muster the energy to go any faster. The sound was getting louder, the person moving closer — his rescuer growing nearer.

"Marcus," she breathed. He thought he was hallucinating, surely it couldn't be Abby who actually found him. The chances were so slim. He reached up to pluck the pipe again but a hand curled around his and he blinked rapidly to get the stone dust out of his eyes. Another hand touched his cheek, wiping dust away, and suddenly she appeared before his eyes. She whispered, "I knew you couldn't be dead."

He looked at the tears in her eyes and he wanted to hurt whoever made her cry; but he was the reason she was crying, how did he stop her crying over him? "What happened?"

"There was a missile, Marcus, sent by Mount Weather." She ran her hand along his face, like she couldn't believe he was real. She closed her eyes and a tear splashed on his chest. She shook her head and said, "So many people dead up there. Not just from the explosion, there's a sniper too taking out anyone who moves. You don't know what I did to get down here. But I heard clanging and I knew there was someone alive. I had to."

He smiled weakly. "I can't say I'm upset you made it down here, that you left them."

She looked at him through tear-filled eyes for a moment before she leaned down and pressed her lips to his, her body half-laying on him. He pushed her away weakly, grimacing in pain. He gasped, "It's my leg."

She pushed herself up and scooted down to take a look, switching right into Doctor Mode. "Can you wiggle your toes?"

"Yes."

She ran her hand under the beam, along his leg and said, "It seems intact, no broken bones." She was looking around for something before her eyes fell on him again. "Do you have your gun?"

"Are my injuries that bad?" He joked half-heartedly.

She didn't smile, only said, "I need the strap for a tourniquet."

He looked around too and spotted the tip poking out of some rubble not far away — it must have been thrown off of him in the explosion. "Over there."

She climbed over him carefully and began to dig, wrenching on the damaged weapon. His thin voice caused her to pause and turn back to him, "Abby, you're needed elsewhere. I'm a lost cause. I heard other people, screams earlier. You should go to them. You should go find Clarke."

She crawled back to him and placed her hand on his chest, one which he covered with his own. "I'm not leaving you here alone. Don't you dare tell me to do so again, do you understand?" She paused before adding in a whisper, "And Clarke's not here."

His brows furrowed, creasing the dust on his forehead. "What do you mean?"

"Let me get this tourniquet, then I'll explain." She pulled away from him and went back to the gun. It was five minutes before she had it free, five long minutes for him to think on what she had meant by Clarke not being here. Then it all came back to him: his suspicions, why he had been down here in the first place. Lexa and Clarke had disappeared right before the missile had come.

Abby came back to him, the strap of the gun in her hand. With determination, she said, "I'm getting you out of here."

He smiled weakly at her as she lifted his leg up an inch to slide the strap under, but even that movement caused a pain so horrible he thought he would faint. She grabbed his hand and whispered, "I'm right here, it's okay, Marcus. I'm right here."

He bit his tongue and nodded, a sign she took rightfully to mean 'get on with it.' She slid the strap under as quickly as possible and he released a grunt of pain as she gently lowered his leg. She secured the strap and tightened it as much as it would go, she wasn't about to have him bleed out on her watch.

He opened his eyes he hadn't realized he had squeezed tightly shut and stared down at her. She was moving around the caved-in room and picked up a long pipe that had been blasted from the wall. She returned to him and wedged it under the beam, over his leg. She pushed down on the pipe.

The beam barely moved.

"Abby," he whispered.

"Shut up, Marcus." She grunted as she put all of her weight into another attempt; the beam moved an inch. She tried again, resilient as ever. On the fifth attempt, the beam lift several inches, it came off of his leg, giving Abby her first real look at it. Her eyes widened and the pipe slipped, dropping the beam back on his leg and causing Kane to yell out in pain, his throat aching from the effort, raw from all of the dust in the air. She collapsed next to him on the ground, the pipe abandoned. Weakly, she said, "Your femoral artery is lacerated."

"That doesn't sound too good," he whispered, still reeling from the pain.

She looked at him and shook her head. "That beam's the only thing keeping you alive…and that tourniquet."

He didn't know if it was the blood loss or the seriousness of the situation, but all he could do was laugh and it hurt like hell. Abby placed her hands on his chest, trying to keep him still, but he kept laughing.

"Marcus, you have hypoxia. You're going into hemorrhagic shock."

"Hypoxia again?" He was still laughing. "Wick would be so amused."

She smiled. "How close are you two?"

"Not very," he finally stopped laughing and drew in a ragged breath. "We just had that lovely rescue mission on the Ark together. He wanted my shoes."

She took his hand. "How did you find me that day?"

He spoke slowly because that was all he could do; he knew she was trying to keep him awake, to keep him talking. "We knew there were survivors in the service bay, Wick gave me a battery to open the door once I crawled through the maintenance shaft." He paused, breathing shallowly. He looked her in the eyes. "When I opened that door, I didn't care if anyone else had survived, I only wanted to see you in that room."

"Marcus—"

He placed his other hand over hers. "Abby, what happened to Clarke?"

She sighed and leaned against him, her head on his shoulder; he figured it was so she could hide her face. "She knew about the attack, Marcus. She got out before the missile, Lexa too. They let all of those people die. I ran into her in the forest, she stopped me from coming in." She took a breath. "Despite the fact that she saved my life, I don't think I can forgive her, not for this.

"She said you all were sacrifices that happened during war. She said to win, it had to look like Tondc was bombed, that Lexa and she were dead. It didn't matter who died. It didn't matter that you died." She was trembling against him and he squeezed her hand. He wanted to make her feel better, but nothing he said would help. They lay in silence for a long while, watching the rubble fall.

At first it was just a few shifting stones ahead — small debris had been falling regularly the whole time he had been trapped, so he hadn't paid any attention to it. But, larger pieces of stone were coming down now, more rapidly than before.

Kane whispered, "Abby, I love you, but you need to get out of here. It's not stable. As romantic as dying together underground would be, I won't let it happen."

"Well, it's a good thing you're pinned under that beam because I'm not going anywhere," she said as the room shook again and half of the low ceiling collapsed. She launched herself on top of his body to protect him from further harm. Something hard hit her in the back and she wince but shook it off, holding him as the dust cleared. Pulling away, she said, "Did you just say you love me? You wait until we might die to admit it?"

She couldn't see his blush due to the layers of dust caked on his face, something he was thankful for. But he knew he had to own up to it. It may have slipped out but that didn't make it any less true. He replied, his voice throaty from all of the dust, "Well I'm sorry the time's not convenient for you."

She smiled and said, "It's not like you to be a cliché."

He laughed and pain surged through him. She placed her hand on his chest to still him, like earlier. His hand shot to his chest, but he didn't touch hers at all, instead a spot several inches from his heart. She inhaled sharply and pulled away.

"We need to get you out of here," she said, clutching his hand.

A scream ripped through the collapsed building as something crashed in the distance, it was the first noise in several hours. Kane said, "You need to help those people, you can still get through there."

"And if the rubble falls on me?" She asked, a hint of fear in her voice. She leaned up to look at him. "I risked my life because I hoped it was you down here. I found you, I'm not leaving."

He nodded slowly and reached up, sliding his hand into her hair. He pulled her head down and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Abby."

She smiled and laid back down next to him. "Tell me about Vera."

It was all to keep him awake, and surprisingly, talking about his mom didn't hurt anymore. He appreciated his mother more, he wished he had spent more time with her after moving into his own home on the Ark.

Light broke through from above and they heard the shouting before they saw anyone. "Survivors!" Kane opened his eyes at the sound of Octavia's voice, never so glad to hear it in his life. Her face appeared through the cleared path and she smiled in relief, "Kane! Abby!"

Abby perked up, pushing herself off the ground instead of the body under her. Tears welled up in her eyes and she leaned her head against Kane's chest before looking at him. He was smiling weakly at her, still breathing shallowly. She said, "You're going to make it, Marcus."


	9. Wounded

_"Your mother wanted to be here, too." - David Miller_

 _"I know, but the wounded in Tondc need her more." - Clarke Griffin, "Blood Must Have Blood (Part 1)"_

* * *

The station was silent as she walked through it early that morning. Her watch read 6:03 a.m. It was a strange thought that most of them headed to war that afternoon, as soon as Raven and Wick figured out the acid fog system. They should sleep as long as they could.

Kane was still sleeping when she entered Medical. His cot was in the back, separated by a heavy sheet of plastic in his own area. She had made sure of that. She pushed aside the plastic and walked over to him, pulling the thin blanket away that covered him. She only uncovered his thigh, the one whose artery she had spent hours in surgery salvaging. She cautiously pulled the bandage off, thankful he still wasn't wearing pants, and took a look at her handiwork. It had turned into an angry, red scar, still fresh and, she assumed, still very painful. His whole thigh was inflamed, tender to the touch, she knew. All injuries like this were, and without proper painkillers, it would hurt him for quite some time. She gently prodded on the flesh surrounding the scar, feeling if it was swollen in anyway.

"Good morning to you too," Kane said gruffly, flinching away from the pain her light touches caused. His eyes flashed open, searching out her face. She leaned over him and placed a soft kiss on his lips before pulling away again and returning to her doctorly duties. He protested, claiming it was nothing more than a scratch, but they both knew he was putting on a strong act.

"Are you sure you're up to this? I don't think riding a horse with this injury's going to feel too pleasant." Abby said, staring down at him with crossed arms and pursed lips.

His lips twitched, forming half of a grin. "I'll be fine, Abby. Worry about your patients."

"I worked hard on that leg of yours, I won't have you open the wound."

He stared at her defiantly. Dryly, he replied, "And I'm grateful, Abby. But I'm coming if I have to stow away in your med pack."

"You're too big," she teased, tossing him his pants. "Get dressed, we have to leave."

He tossed aside the blanket and pulled his pants on his left leg first — that was the easy part. He got them up to his knee on his right leg then he let out a grunt of pain. Abby, who had been gathering medical supplies in two backpacks — one for each of them — ran back into the room, thinking he had hurt himself. An amused smirk crept across her face at the sight of him caught in his pants, but the look of pain on his face — his teeth gritted in frustration, his left hand balled into a fist, his eyes closed in agony — wiped it clear and made her rush to his side.

She unclenched his fist first, smoothing his fingers against her palm, before she reached up and placed both of her hands on his cheeks. "Marcus, it's okay. I'm here."

His eyes flashed open and she knew that look in his eyes. She had seen it in Raven's right before she operated on her without anesthesia. It was despair, distress, but most of all _pain_ , and the need for it to be gone. She took his hand, clutching it desperately in hers. "The pain will take some time, Marcus, but we have no way to manage it—"

"It's fine," he snapped. She released his hand and pulled away from him. Kane sighed, closing his eyes for a brief moment. "I'm sorry, Abby."

He had been apologizing a lot, and though she wished he hadn't the need to, she was glad he was making an effort. She grabbed two belt loops of his jeans and pulled, ignoring his groans as the fabric slid over his aching thigh. Through clenched teeth, he said, "Thanks."

She gave him a fake smile and walked away, grabbing her backpack and throwing his at him. He caught it and set it on the end of the bed, shooting her a glare. He pushed himself out of bed, every muscle in his body tensing up as he put weight on his leg. His face was pained, but he didn't complain aloud. Abby shook her head but held her tongue, not bothering to talk him out of coming with her. He reached for his gun and slung it over his back before pulling the backpack on. It looked awkward, but they would be safer with a weapon.

In truth, it should be Jackson accompanying her to Tondc, but he would be going to Mount Weather to take care of anyone in need of medical assistance — especially those kids trapped within the mountain. He had offered to join her, but she told him with such finality that he had backed down without a word, accepting that he was going to war.

"C'mon, we're wasting daylight," Kane said, nudging her side. She hadn't realized he had crossed the room already, but here he was. She nodded and led the way out of the makeshift room.

The horses had been left for them by the Grounders, a thanks for their help in healing their people. It would be quicker than walking, but the last time Kane had taken a horse to Tondc, he had been buried for over a day under a collapsed building. Abby saw his apprehension written all over his face and touched his hand reassuringly. He glanced over at her before climbing uneasily onto the beast. She pulled herself on hers and they started toward the gate.

David Miller was on duty and he opened the gate for them. Abby called down to him, "Be safe today."

"You, too."

Kane nodded toward him, the men didn't feel the need to exchange any words. Abby watched him head down the trail in the trees ahead, but still, she stayed near David. He looked up at her curiously. "Tell Clarke to be careful. To be smart."

He nodded. "Of course." She smiled at him and took off after Kane, who had disappeared through the tree line.

Dawn was breaking and they would at least have some light as they rode the several hours to Tondc. They were as silent as the woods around them; despite the fact that she had told him it was safe, she still felt uneasy being out there, just the two of them. She would never admit it to him, but she was glad he had defied her and come. Their horses rode close despite the width of the trail, their knees bumping every few minutes when the ruts in the road forced their horses even closer.

With the sun up, they didn't feel as strange being out in the woods. It had been surreal, moving among the trees, the world like a vacuum: no sound, but a hint of light. But it was like everything had come to life around them with the rising sun. Birds moved overhead, something larger ran through the trees nearby. A deer poked its head out from behind a tree and Abby turned to show Kane, but the look on his face stopped her.

She reached over across the space separating them and touched him arm, bringing him back from wherever he was. He blinked several times and turned to look at her. She asked, "Are you okay?"

That had become her mantra to him, the one question she was constantly asking him. It made her feel better — having him know that she cared — so she kept asking whenever he seemed down, which was far too often for her liking.

Kane just nodded, but his eyes told a different story. They were like dying embers, all of the fight of a fire leaving them. It was like he had given up, but on what, she didn't know. All she knew was that he wasn't okay. But, she had to let him bring it up on his own, she had learned to only press him when necessary.

But this left her to her own thoughts. And they were all centered on Clarke. Her daughter was going to war today. She was too young, just a child, though Marcus was always the first to remind her that she needed to stop treating her like one. And she knew that she should, but that was her _daughter._ She had raised her, seen her grow to the woman she was today. Still, looking at her, she saw the little girl playing chess with her best friend, Wells. She didn't see the war commander, she never could.

She was left in her mind for hours, it was nearly 10 a.m. when Kane finally said something. They were nearly to Tondc; the sun was higher in the sky. He blurted out, "Are we still not talking about how you never said it back?"

Her head snapped to look at him, her mouth a thin line, an eyebrow raised a fraction of an inch. Her mind went completely blank, that was the last thing she expected to come out of his mouth. When her brain rebooted and started firing neurons again, she started to think, _surely I've said it, right?_ But, the more she thought about it, the more she became aware that he had said it twice now, once while buried under the train station and again when he woke up after surgery.

She hadn't been able to worry over anyone else but him when they got back from Tondc after the attack, letting Jackson deal with the onslaught of patients coming through the door. Kane had gotten surgery first to repair his artery and after, she had stayed with him, seeing patients in his makeshift room in the back while he recovered. She had been sleeping next to his cot when he woke later that night. He had run his hand through her hair, brushing a strand over her ear, waking her unintentionally. It had come out of him, bubbling up from his throat, like _I love you_ was a reflex to him. But, she hadn't said it back. _Why hadn't she said it back?_

"I thought I had," she answered quietly, unable to look at his unwavering gaze. She knew it would turn cold on her in an instant, she had seen it all too often. "I guess I thought it was implied—"

"Love's not something that's _implied_ , Abby," he spat. And, when she risked a glance at him, there they were, those cold eyes that she had grown so used to on the Ark. She sighed and forced herself to look at them, wanting more than anything to melt them back to that honey brown that she loved. Yes, that she _loved._

He was closing off from her, she could feel it, but he wasn't too far gone just yet — she could bring him back. She reached across the short distance between them and took his hand, leaning a little more off her horse than she felt comfortable. She was met with an icy stare, but looked past it. "Marcus, just because I haven't said it, doesn't mean I don't feel it, okay?" She ran her thumb over the back of his hand, continuing, "I _do_ love you. Now stop nagging me about it, or I may stop just to spite you."

He smiled, a genuine smile from Marcus Kane. A slow, steady laugh built up inside of him and spilled from his mouth. It was infectious and she found herself laughing too. He took her hand in his, holding it tight for a moment before releasing it so she could steady herself on her horse again.

They continued in silence for another half an hour until he asked, "Do you think they've figured out the acid fog system yet?"

"Don't you think we would have seen the flare?"

"We're facing the wrong direction, Abby," he reminded her.

"Raven and Wick will figure it out, they're smart, overconfident if anything." She said, smiling. He chuckled, nodding.

The gates were ahead, wide open. He glanced over at her, asking, "Are you ready for this?"

"It's just another day, Marcus."

* * *

They both had their jobs to do once they dismounted their horses. She tended the wounded; he searched out those most in need of medical attention, conversing in Trigedasleng when necessary. A woman named Jakia assisted Kane with his translations while a healer named Tisa helped Abby. They didn't really see each other until everyone was bandaged, when it was near 6 p.m. and they sat around a fire, eating.

Abby wondered how far the war had progressed at Mount Weather. She and Kane discussed it, practically ignoring their companions — Jakia, Tisa, others they had been introduced to: Knute, Ingo, Jefferson, and Cora.

"I need to be there, Marcus," she whispered, it was plea really.

He didn't think about it, didn't resist at all. He grabbed his backpack and gun and started limping toward the gate. Abby watched him in awe, surprised that he hadn't fought her on the subject. Abby secured her pack over her shoulders and followed.

They were at the gate when they heard the shout, "Wait!"

The Grounders from their fire, the ones not wounded, ran at them, all clutching weapons. Jakia, Kane's translator, said, "We're coming with you."

Abby shook her head hastily, "We can't ask you to do that—"

"You're not asking, _Skaiplan._ We're telling you, _we're coming_." The man named Ingo said, clutching an oversized ax in his fist. Kane nodded at them and said, "We should hurry."

The Grounders knew the way better, they let Jefferson lead, he was apparently someone's second who had been ordered to stay behind at the village to protect the Sky People coming to heal _._ Abby stuck next to Kane, making sure he didn't re-injure himself. But, he was doing just fine on his own, moving swiftly on his hurt leg, working through the pain.

"What's a _Skaiplan?"_ She asked after a while, when they were about ten miles out from Mount Weather.

He glanced over at her, a knowing smile on his face. "It means 'skywoman.'"

She thought it would be something worse and couldn't help but show her relief. But that relief was short lived. Gunshots popped in the distance and they moved faster through the woods. Kane limped along as fast as he dared, Abby was far ahead of him now, knowing that he could make it on his own.

Jefferson was stopped ahead, the other Grounders with him, all crouched down near to the ground. Abby huddled with them and when Marcus finally caught up, he joined them on his haunches.

"What is it?" He whispered.

"Mountain Men," Ingo spat, staring through the trees.

Abby squinted through the darkness, but she couldn't see a damn thing. Jefferson jumped up suddenly and attacked someone in the darkness, a man screamed out and he brought them back, short-sword against their throat. Abby stood, staring into the person's face, with Jakia trying to tug her back to the ground.

"It's okay, he's our people," Kane said, standing too, albeit with more difficulty. Ingo assisted him.

"Kane? Abby?" David Miller was released by Jefferson and the bush behind him rustled and Monroe walked out, swinging her gun behind her. She sighed in relief at the sight of them.

"What happened?" Abby asked, walking toward them. "Where's Clarke?"

"She didn't come back with us." Monroe said, sighing. "The Commander, she made a deal with them for her people, ours are still trapped inside."

Abby shot a look at Kane.

"They all left. Our people too." David said, looking at Abby only. "My son's still inside, Abby."

"I know. And we're not leaving him there."

Jakia grabbed Jefferson's arm and whispered, "If the Commander has ordered a retreat, we should go."

He shook his head. "I'm to protect the Sky People. If they are going to the Mountain, I'm going to the Mountain. You can return to Tondc if you wish."

None of the Grounders moved. Kane looked at them and said, "Thank you."

Continuing through the trees, every noise they didn't make unnerved them. They expected retaliation from the Mountain Men. They moved in a tight ground, weapons out, even Abby had one — a spare handgun Kane had in his backpack.

They heard them before they saw them. The group was large, Jefferson could tell. The Mountain Men didn't even try to hide their presence, but Jefferson's group broke into pairs and flitted from tree trunk to tree trunk.

"We know you're there," a voice came out of the darkness. Flashlight beams broke through the black, blinding them. "We have radar."

A gunshot ran out and Ingo screamed out in pain. Carl Emerson walked out into the clearing, no hazmat suit in sight, nearest to Kane and Abby's tree. He held a rifle and raised his hands in the air. "We just want to talk."

"Bullshit," Monroe spat.

Emerson laughed and fired off a round her way, missing her on purpose. "You're right. C'mon, let's get this over with."

The Grounders shouted as they attacked the Mountain Men, their weapons raised high. Emerson turned to Kane and Abby's tree, raising his rifle before the two could respond.

"Emerson," Kane spat before he was hit across the face with the butt of their former prisoner's rifle. He staggered a few steps, falling against the trunk of a tree.

Emerson said to his men, "Kill the Grounders, but take the others alive. We need them."

It was a slaughter, to say the least. Abby barely knew how to use her weapon, Monroe covered her. Marcus fired from his stance against the tree trunk, unable to move due to his leg. The Grounders were fierce though, but still, they fell one by one. They were expendable to the Mountain Men. David Miller was captured first, hands tied and a black hood placed over his head. Then Monroe fell to Emerson. He went for Kane next, but Abby wouldn't allow it, she could stop it.

"Marcus," she breathed, rushing to him, gun raised. But it was too late. The rifle connected with Kane's head, knocking him out, his eyes locked on hers before they rolled back in his head. Emerson probably figured knocking the fight out of him was easier than actually fighting him.

Emerson rounded on her, both of them the last ones standing. Several of his men were injured but still alive, slowly getting up. He held his rifle in his hand and approached her. She squeezed the trigger but it just clicked.

Emerson smiled, "I counted, Abby. You've been out for a while, but over the noise, you didn't hear it." He smiled as he grabbed her arm forcefully and added, "You'll come in peace, right? You want to see Clarke, don't you?" He tied her wrists together, staring at her with a smirk set on his face. He pulled a black hood out of his pocket and pulled it over her head, saying, "I'm sure you'll see her soon. But, of course, I can't make any promises; that's all up to President Wallace."


	10. Scarred

_"We can all survive." - Marcus Kane, "Blood Must Have Blood (Part 2)"_

* * *

 _Her screams filled the room, echoing off the walls, rattling his brain. He strained against the handcuffs, throwing his full weight against them, feeling how they sliced into his wrists. He didn't care though, Abby's pain was enough to make him forget about the damage he was causing himself and strain even harder. Her cries grew weaker as they took more marrow from different parts of her body, prepared to take all she had to give._

 _With each of her screams, he grew more feral as he thrashed against his constraints, pulling madly, tearing at his flesh. "Abby!" He screamed and her eyes found him. The pain he found there caused the same feeling in his chest that he got whenever he thought of the Culling. It physically pained him, like he was experiencing the Grounder punishment of death by a thousand cuts — he needed it gone. He pulled harder against the handcuffs and felt blood trickle down his wrists, the skin finally giving way to the metal._

 _Cage Wallace meandered around the room, passing too close to Kane. He lashed out, his foot catching his knee. The president stumbled against the table Abby was on; when he pushed himself up, he had a smirk on his face. He turned to Kane, David Miller's shock baton in his hand. It should have been a menacing sight, but any thought Marcus Kane had for his own safety had disappeared when they put Abby on that table — he only cared about hers now._

 _"You're killing her. Please, let me take her place. I'll donate my marrow." Kane pleaded, not worrying over the baton. His eyes were locked on Cage's though he'd rather be looking at Abby, who he couldn't hear screaming anymore. It was like the fight had left her completely. "I'll donate it all. Just let her live. Please."_

 _"And will your pain hurt Clarke?" Cage asked seriously. He pointed the baton toward the camera mounted to the ceiling in the corner of the room. "That's what I need. I need her to_ feel _how I feel. She murdered my father. I'm taking away all she has left."_

 _Kane shook his head. "Please, please don't do this. She's all I have. Show mercy."_

 _Cage's laugh was cold and it filled Kane with something deeper than hatred. He lashed out again at the president and received a shock to his ribs for his efforts. His body went slack, the only thing holding him up were the handcuffs. When he opened his eyes, he found Abby's, but there was something wrong with them. The light was different, dim._

 _"No," he murmured to no one in particular. He followed it by a scream, "NO!"_

 _He watched as she exhaled her last rattled breath, her eyes on him as their light extinguished. Another scream tore through his throat, shredding it apart, filling the room with his agony. The doctor unstrapped her from the table, tossing her aside like she didn't matter to anyone, like she didn't matter to him._

The scream still filled the room and he bolted upright in bed, taking a moment to realize that it was his vocal cords that had cause the noise. His shirt was drenched in a cold sweat, his breath still coming in pants, his fists clenching the blankets tightly. He placed a hand on his pounding heart, feeling the rapid beats. Catching sight of the white on his wrist, he raised his arms up and saw the bandages that covered both wrists.

 _Was it just a dream?_

He remembered handcuffs cutting into his flesh and was staring at the damage of it right now, the bandages soiled the color of copper in most places. He could feel the aches over his body and pulled up his shirt to see the dark bruise surrounding a massive welt from a shock lash on his rib.

Sweat erupting from his brow again, he forced himself out of bed in a panic, his limbs protesting the quick movement. A sharp pain in his leg screamed out at him and nearly forced him to collapse in a crippled heap on the floor of his bedroom, but he forced himself through the pain, thinking of Abby as he pulled on a pair of jeans.

He ran, with difficulty, out of his quarters, bouncing off the opposite wall as he went, causing quite the ruckus. He wasn't surprised to find others up, despite the fact that it was the middle of the night. It must have been the nerves from the Mountain, it put everyone on edge, even now.

They had all returned earlier that day, a few hours after midday. He had a vague memory of holding Abby's hand as they crossed under the gates of Camp Jaha — _had that been just a dream?_ What was even real anymore? Abby could be buried behind Alpha Station with the other dead. They were to have a ceremony for everyone they had lost in a few days, when those in Medical had been released. Maybe he would know for sure then. For now, it was all adding up in favor that Abby's demise was more than just a figment of his imagination.

Medical was filled with the wounded from the battle and those who had been subjected to the marrow extractions, as well as nearly all of the delinquent kids. Jackson was on duty, of course — the only doctor left standing. He was tending to Raven Reyes when Kane limped in at startling speed. Raven, alarmed, asked, "Where's the fire, Kane?"

He ignored her, searching out the familiar face he so desperately needed to see. Jackson, seeing the wild look in his eyes, abandoned Raven and grabbed Kane's arm. He stared at the bloodied bandages and said, "You need treatment, Kane."

He shook his head frantically. "Where is she? Where's Abby?" His voice was desperate, breaking when he said her name.

"She's in the back. But you need help—"

Kane didn't listen to Jackson, pulling his arm free of his grip instead. He hobbled through the too-close cots, waking a few patients without a care for their well-being. He threw apart the heavy sheets of plastic that separate her from the rest of them, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

She lay on the cot, a blanket tucked neatly around her, fast asleep. She was breathing shallowly, her chest barely rising and lowering with each inhale and exhale. He rushed across the room in just two steps and gripped her shoulders roughly. He shook her without finesse, needing to see her eyes flash open, to hear her voice, to know she was _alive._

Her eyes opened after a few seconds, flashing him a mixture of confusion and grogginess. Her voice was thick with sleep as she asked, "What the hell are you doing, Marcus?"

He released a strangled breath at the sound of her voice and let her go, staggering back a few steps, finally feeling the pain all over his body. He had pushed it out of his mind as he rushed to her, but now that he knew it had all been a dream, he could allow himself to feel it again. And it _hurt._

His teeth gritted at the pain and Abby reached for him, concerned. Her weight shifted to her injured leg and she whimpered. He barked harshly, "Don't, Abby."

She sank back into her pillow, watching him silently as he sighed and ran his hand through his shaggy hair. He scowled at the wall, his eyes closed. Her brows furrowed as she asked, "Marcus, what's wrong? It's 3 a.m."

His eyes flashed open and what she saw there was agony. Not from his leg or anything — it was something deeper, something so emotional that she couldn't comprehend it. He stared at her for a moment before he crashed his lips against hers. He felt the tension that was coiled up within him release as his lips moved against hers. The adrenaline that had carried his body from his quarters to Medical still drove him now, guiding his lips against hers, sending one hand into her hair, the other to her side, slipping under her shirt to feel her skin.

Abby was the one to pull away, out of breath from his onslaught of kisses. He didn't stray too far, descending on her neck instead. She gripped his hair, panting, "As enjoyable as this is, what's wrong, Marcus?"

His lips stilled against her skin and she felt his shake against her, it was a heartbeat before she realized it was because he was crying. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her. He climbed onto the cot, sliding over onto the other side of the narrow bed to avoid her injured leg at the cost of having to lay on his own. His arms wrapped around her torso, his head resting on her shoulder as he nuzzled into her neck, kissing it again.

She let him, allowing him to take his time to tell her what was bothering him. She ran her hand lightly over his arm, letting her fingers dance along his clammy skin. His lips ran over her skin, never pressing against it, just gliding along. His hands slid over her sides, conscious of the spots that would hurt her and avoiding them like they would cause him pain too.

His voice sounded hollow when he finally spoke minutes later.

"They took too much marrow from you. You…you died on the table. I couldn't do anything about it. I tried to get away, but I was handcuffed to the wall still. I couldn't do a damn thing about it, Abby," he pulled his arm out from under her to lean up and look at her properly. His hand cupped her cheek as he leaned over her. "You died and I couldn't do anything."

She understood, he knew she would. She reached up and stroked the light stubble on his cheek, feeling like a weight had been set on her chest. "It was just a nightmare, Marcus. I'm fine, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere." She reached up and wiped the tears from his eyes, he blushed and turned away. She forced him to look at her by gently turning his head. Her eyes crinkled as she said, "It'll take a lot more than that for you to get rid of me, Marcus. I wouldn't leave you like that."

"It wasn't your choice, Abby," he muttered, his fingers running lightly over her arm like he still couldn't believe she was real.

Abby caught his hand and laced their fingers together. Her voice was orotund when she spoke, trying to get him to understand that she meant what she was saying with every cell in her heart, every fiber of her being. "I intended to fight until my last breath for you, for Clarke."

It was like he had stopped breathing, like his blood had stopped flowing. There was something he wasn't telling her about Clarke, that much was certain. But she sure wasn't going to question him, not tonight, not while he was so fragile. She knew there could only be one reason why Clarke hadn't been in to see her yet.

She just ran her thumb over the back of his hand and said, "Now go to sleep, I'll be here in the morning. Don't worry."

He gave her a weak smile and laid back down. She listened as his breaths slipped into the deep rhythm that accompanied the early stages of sleep after only a few minutes. She smiled to herself and took stock of their bodies. His head was in the crook of her neck, his arms wrapped tightly around her torso again. His left leg was draped over her left, but he had taken care not to touch her injured leg. Their joined hands were on her stomach, his gripped hers tightly even in sleep.

With her free hand, she played with his soft hair, running her fingernails along his scalp. She leaned her head against the pillow, getting lost in the repetitive motion of her hand in his hair. She closed her eyes and let her mind transport herself to Mount Weather two days ago — was it really only two days ago? Not even, it hadn't dawned the second day since the terror of Mount Weather had happened. They had only returned twelve hours ago, really.

She remembered, vividly, laying on that table, the pain of the drill as it entered her bone. That pain was second to the look in Marcus' eyes when she stared at him. She had looked to him for a source of comfort, to keep herself from passing out. What she saw was absolute anguish — if he hadn't already told her he loved her, she would have known it then. The "I love yous" he told her without ever opening his mouth kept her going, kept her alive so she could be here to comfort him in the wake of his nightmare. It was almost ironic — he kept her alive so he could dream of her dying.

"Abby?" She opened her eyes and saw Jackson standing in the pushed apart plastic barrier of her makeshift room.

"Come in," she whispered, very aware of Kane's body wrapped around hers. Jackson was too, his eyes on the other man as he walked further into the room.

"Do you mind if I check your leg?" He whispered to her. She shook her head, a small movement so she didn't disturbed Kane. Jackson stood next to the bed and, after casting a wary look at Kane, pulled the blanket away from Abby's leg. "How is he?"

Abby frowned. "He's not okay."

"He wouldn't let me change his bandages—"

She shook her head. "That's not what I meant, I can change those in the morning." She glanced down at him — sleeping soundly, his body still curled against hers — before looking at Jackson again. "He dreamt I died, Jackson."

His hands paused as he pulled her bandage off her leg. He turned his attention to Kane, something between pity and surprise on his face. "He came in here, looking crazy, asking where you were, avoiding medical attention. He tore through the place, looking for you, Abby."

She sighed, running her hand through Kane's hair again. "I'm worried about him," she admitted, brushing a lock of hair of his eyes. She looked back at Jackson and saw the ghost of a smile on his face. "What is it?"

"It's nice to see you happy again," he said as he pulled the bandage completely off her leg. Abby couldn't look at it, she didn't want to think again about what had caused the wound nor the pain that had come with it. "You deserve it, Abby."

She let out a scoff. "We're probably at war with the Grounders, but as long as I'm _happy,_ it's fine."

Jackson shook his head, looking at her seriously. "It doesn't matter what's going on out there, you can be happy at the same time. You just have to let yourself."

* * *

Kane woke the following morning to a scream that reminded him too much of his previous waking that it chilled him to the bone. This time though, Abby was there, her arms wrapping tightly around him as he shook. She kissed his forehead and repeated, "I'm here, I'm okay, you're okay," in his ear until he realized it too.

He pulled out of her embrace and pressed his forehead against hers, his hand finding her cheek and his thumb running over her skin. He pulled away and stared at her for a moment before his lips pressed against hers. That's all it was at first, his lips on hers, and they were content with that. Then his tongue parted her lips, seeking hers hungrily. Something of a groan rose in her throat when his hand gripped her side and he pressed his chest against hers. Her hand slid into his hair and her other one curled around his back, holding him to her.

"Abby," a voice behind them said.

"A little busy, Jackson," Kane snarled before he continued kissing Abby ravenously.

But Abby pushed him off much to his disappointment. He glared at her, completely ignoring Jackson. She asked, tearing her eyes away from Kane's, "What is it, Jackson?"

"We're swamped, is there any way—"

"I'll be right there," she replied. He thanked her and left, embarrassed by the sight of Kane on top of his closest friend.

Kane snapped her gaze back to his with a finger on her jaw and stared down at her, shaking his head. "You need bed rest, Dr. Griffin."

"As do you, but I don't think you'll be heeding my advice." She said indignantly.

"My leg's fine. Yours is a fresh wound," He said sincerely, glancing down at the leg in question, covered by the blanket.

"Your leg was injured only 5 days ago, _Marcus Kane_." She chastised, poking his chest for emphasis. "You lacerated your femoral artery, it's still fragile. You need to rest, doctor's orders." He just looked at her, his eyes boring into her. She sighed. "At least take a damn cane." He scoffed. "Ease my worry, please Marcus."

He rolled his eyes. "Only because you said please."

He limped out of Medical ten minutes later, assisted by an old metal cane. He felt ridiculous, but everyone he passed hadn't said a thing. He figured they were all injured in their own way, with their own problems to deal with and no time to worry about anyone else's.

Abby had changed the bandages on his wrists much to his gratitude. He didn't feel as damaged when he left Alpha and found the guard in the yard. Abby had that affect on him though, had the tendency to make him feel whole when no one else could.

"Kane," the voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked at the chief of the guard walking toward him. The change in David Miller was startling — having Nathan back had made him an entirely different man — he could've had a bounce in his step if he hadn't been injured too. A gun shot, Kane had heard. He was limping toward Kane, mercifully ignoring the cane like he hoped most would.

"Have there been any Grounder sightings since Mount Weather?" Kane asked, looking passed David at the guards posted at the gates. Their guns were poised and trained on the woods.

"None, but we're ready," David replied. "Do you really think they'll come after us? We had a treaty."

"Which they betrayed when Lexa made the deal for her people and left ours to die."

"Still, we could be fine," David shrugged. The nonchalance Miller spoke will was startling to Kane. This was the man who had gone to war over his son, armed juveniles even though it meant certain punishment, gotten shot for his effort. Now he was letting their fate be left up to chance, assuming that the treaty would hold with the Grounders.

Kane shook his head. "No one's fine."

"I suppose not," David said, staring out at the woods. "Have you told Abby yet?"

He knew what he was talking about, of course. Kane replied, "No."

David looked at him. "You should tell her soon, she'll want to hear it from you."

He nodded and said, "Keep the guard on their toes."

"I will."

Kane turned and led himself into Alpha Station. He didn't really know where he was going, he just didn't want to talk about Clarke with Miller anymore. He remembered seeing her retreating back just before she slipped into the woods the day previous. No one had to tell him she wasn't coming back, though he did ask Bellamy later that night at the bar. The younger man was fairly drunk at that point so he had no problem telling him. Clarke couldn't stand to be around those she had saved, not given how she had done it. Honestly, Kane didn't blame her — he could relate.

"Feeling better, Kane?" He blinked and found himself staring at Raven Reyes. In her hands was a large box of spare parts, no doubt for some project she was cooking up in that workshop of hers. He was surprised to see her out of Medical after what she had been through.

"Uh, yeah," he said, looking at her uncertainly. He almost forgot that he had seen her last night; it had all been a daze, the trip down to Medical. Until he had held Abby in his arms, nothing had felt real at all.

"Good talk," she said with a roll of her eyes. He watched her as she continued down the hall, noticing the way she had to over-rotate her hip and knew it had nothing to do with the nerve damage to her left leg.

He lumbered along the hallway after her and stopped in Engineering. Wick was at one of the tables, staring at his tablet with Monty Green by his side, their eyebrows scrunched together, both lost in thought. They looked up when Kane entered and given the look on his face, Wick muttered for Monty to get lost. He wandered over to an abandoned radio and scanner. Wick asked, "To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from Councillor Kane with a cane?"

He should have known Wick would be the first to mention his use of the cane. He ignored the question and asked, "What are you working on?"

Wick shook the tablet around in his hand. "Better water system. Some Agro head wants to start farming."

"They didn't clear that with the Council," he replied. "What's the name?"

"Abbot Simon; and growing crops has to be cleared with the Council? Pardon us for wanting to sustain ourselves a little better, Kane." Wick set his tablet down at his workstation before looking him over. "Why are you here? You don't give a shit about farming."

"You're right, I don't," Kane admitted. "Raven doesn't look well, why's she back to work?"

"Jackson cleared her this morning. You know her, never idle." He said with a shrug.

"She can barely walk, even with that brace. Something's clearly wrong."

Wick raised his hands defensively. "Hey man, this is too new, her and me. I'm not telling her how to live her life, no way. She'll toss me aside."

"Where's your spine, Wick?" Kane scoffed.

"Do what you want, Kane, but don't be surprised if she shuts down. Or slaps you." Wick shrugged. "I'm not about to ruin what little trust I have to tell her to go to Medical if she doesn't want to. She might feel fine."

"She can't, not with how she's hobbling around." Wick just shrugged again. Kane's eyes grew cold. "I expected more from you."

"Like you said, I have no spine."

* * *

Raven's workshop was a few doors down and he walked slowly, giving himself time to think. But the door came up quickly and he found himself knocking before he realized what he was doing. She was surprised to see him.

"Come for another thrilling chat, Kane?"

He walked in, shutting the door, and limped over to where she was at the far end of the room, sitting at the end of the long table that bisected the space. "Yes."

She eyed him skeptically, seeing right through him. "What do you want?"

He sighed and leaned against the table, near her. He said sternly, "Raven, you need to stop lying to yourself. You're not fine."

She shot him a look. "Jackson cleared me, I'm one hundred percent."

"Jackson's overworked; he's just one person dealing with dozens of injuries. He can't be expected to catch everything," he whispered softly, placing his hand gently on her arm. Her eyes followed the motion the whole way before she met his again. "His patients have to speak up and tell him when they're still in pain. He can't treat everything unless he knows what's wrong."

Raven shrugged off his hand. "This is really none of your business."

He knew he had her though, it was a meager defense. "You're our best mechanic, Raven," he replied almost fondly. She gave him a peculiar look in return. Maybe he shouldn't show her that he was proud of all she had done, even when it had defied his wishes. Maybe he should treat her like she wanted, like she wasn't special, like she didn't matter. When he continued, his voice was cold, "We can't have a defective mechanic. Go to Medical. Get yourself fixed."

Anger flashed across her face. She spat, "You're an ass, you know that, right?"

"You're not the first person to tell me that."

"And I won't be the last," she said harshly, her eyes shooting daggers at him. "You call me defective when the Culling still haunts you." His eyes flashed. " _Yeah_ , Wick talks about things other than himself too. He told me about how you couldn't let Jaha die on the Ark after the Exodus crash, how you wouldn't let anyone else die because of you. Well, I don't need saving, Kane. No one needs your help. Maybe you should take your own advice and fix yourself.

"And in case you forgot, your girlfriend's chancellor, you have no right to make demands of me. You handed over any power you had when you went on that suicide mission of yours. She wasn't okay, in case you were wondering. I'm sure you didn't care though, you were off being all noble and _brave._ You probably had no intention of even—"

"That's enough, Raven!" Kane yelled. "That's enough. This isn't about me. You need help! Get yourself taken care of or I'll have you barred from work until you do."

She glared at him. "You wouldn't."

"I would. Do it _now,_ " he spat. He stalked out of the room, the _clicking_ of his cane on the floor the only sound other than his angry breaths.

He slammed the door shut behind him and leaned against it, trying to control his breathing. A throat cleared near him and he turned his head toward the sound, seeing Wick leaning a little further along the wall. The look on his face said _I told you so,_ though he didn't actually voice it.

Kane spat, "Shut up, Wick."

Wick shrugged and said, "I warned you, didn't I?"

He scowled.

Wick didn't say any more on the subject. "Monty's asking for you, come on."

He led him back to Engineering and Monty Green was at the table with the scanner and several discarded radios. He stood up when they entered, something Kane found both endearing and completely unneeded. Wick returned to his own bench and picked up his tablet, returning to his Agro dilemma though Kane knew he wouldn't get much done, not without Monty's input.

"How can I help you, Mr. Green?" Kane asked, sitting across from him, relieving his leg from his weight if even for a short while.

Monty sat back down and stared down at his hands on the tabletop for several seconds before meeting Kane's eyes. "Did we do the right thing? I mean, it seems like we did, but Clarke's gone, Bellamy won't come out of his room, Jasper's still drunk from yesterday. I just," he shook his head, "I just don't know."

Kane stared at the metal of the table, thinking, _Of course, you did, son._ If they hadn't irradiated that level, Abby would have died. His dream would have been reality. But, he had to think past that. He had to look at the psychological impact the act had caused. These kids weren't _okay_ , that much was clear. These kids had committed mass murder two days ago and they could only see how it affected two of the three who had done it. If the Culling was any example, though, Kane knew that they wouldn't be the only ones affected by their decision — Monty had already mentioned Jasper Jordan's situation.

It didn't take a genius to figure out why Monty had sought out Kane for this discussion.

Delicately, he replied, "I don't know if we'll ever know what the right thing would have been, Monty. But, in that moment, you made the best call. You saved the lives of our people in that bunker. You saved your friends."

"Not all of them," he said sadly, looking at Kane. "I killed my friends too, those who helped me, who helped _us_."

"I know," Kane whispered, bowing his head. "But it was an impossible decision, Monty. You can't blame yourself, you can't blame Bellamy, you can't blame Clarke. Okay? This pain, you have to learn to live with it, or it's going to eat you up inside, believe me."

Monty looked at him, his eyes tight like he was keeping himself from crying. His fists were balled up, the knuckles white. Kane shot a glance at Wick, who wasn't even feigning work. He mouthed, _Help him._

Turning back to Monty, Kane asked quietly, "What can I do?"

Monty's frown only deepened. "Save the friends I have left."

"I'll—"

Sergeant Banks came into the room, interrupting them. Kane looked up, an expectant look on his face though he didn't appreciate being disturbed. "Been looking everywhere for you, sir. A Grounder's here, she's lucky we didn't shoot. Said she needs to speak with you and the chancellor."

"Does she have a name?" Kane asked, feeling the tension building in his shoulders.

"Called herself 'Indra.'"


	11. Healing

_"Peace with the Grounders is the only way we'll survive." — Marcus Kane, "Remember Me"_

* * *

She was waiting in the Council chamber for him, seated at one of the chairs looking thoroughly out of place. Two guards flanked her, each with a hand on their gun, poised for response in case she tried anything. He was almost ashamed of them. Then he took a good look at her; her lip was cut, her eye starting to redden and swell. She sat on the edge of the seat, it was as if she didn't want to be infected by them, the Sky People.

Kane rounded on Banks, who had walked into the room behind him, "I thought you said she was unharmed."

"Easy, Kane, she's just a Grounder. I said we didn't shoot her," he retorted, as if that were really a defense. The metal cane clattered to the floor and Kane ignored the pain in his leg as he pushed Banks against the wall, his forearm across his throat.

Kane shot back, "You have no right to say—"

"Marcus, what are you doing?" Abby had just walked in, her arm slung around David Miller for support. David stared at him in shock, an eyebrow raised. He averted his gaze, not wanting to look at either of them, nor explain why he was doing what he was doing. He didn't release Banks in any way though, pressing his arm harder into his neck instead.

"I'm fine, really, Kane." Indra said calmly from behind him. "This is nothing more than a flea bite. Your man is no warrior."

Banks struggled against Kane's full weight pressed against him. "Get out. All of you!"

The two guards behind Indra left quickly, not needing to be told twice. Banks glared at Kane as the councillor stepped back to give him room to leave. He rubbed his neck and spat, "I hope you know what you're doing, _sir_."

Abby shot him a look as he passed her and Kane watched one of her hands clench into a fist like she was about to punch him. He smiled to himself.

"You've trained your dogs well," Indra noted when the doors slid shut behind them. She nodded to David Miller who had remained in the room. "What about this one?"

Kane opened his mouth but it was Abby who spoke. "He's a new member of the Council." He looked at Abby, raising his eyebrows. "Sorry, Marcus, I didn't have the chance to tell you."

Indra had a bemused expression on her face when the three of them sat down across from her.

Abby said to the Grounder chief, "You look like you've healed well."

" _Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim_ ," she replied simply. Kane nodded but the other exchanged glances.

Kane whispered, " _Get knocked down, get back up_."

"You speak it?" David asked, almost impressed.

"Barely," Indra commented, a faint smile on her face. It disappeared immediately and she was all business. The three of them turned to her, ready for what she had to say. "The Commander sent me to assure the Sky People that she intends to keep our peace treaty that was agreed upon before—"

"Before she left us for dead?" Abby asked angrily. Under the table, Kane grasped her hand in an attempt to calm her. It wouldn't help anyone to lose patience now. They needed this, they needed peace with the Grounders. They wouldn't last long without it, she had to know that. He squeezed her hand until he saw the tension roll off her shoulders and she glanced at him.

"And you think Clarke wouldn't have taken the same deal?" Indra snarled, half-rising from her chair.

A chill ran through Kane's spine. What if she said anything about seeing Clarke outside of Camp Jaha? Had she? What if he wasn't the one to tell Abby that her daughter hadn't passed through the gates after Mount Weather? That she had left and didn't plan to return? He shot Indra a look and their eyes met. He shook his head, the smallest of movements, and she seemed to understand. At least, she sat back down in her chair.

"Clarke would never," Abby replied, oblivious to what had just transpired between Indra and Kane. "She's not that cold."

Indra glared at Abby. "I hear she killed all of the Mountain Men. The children, the innocents. Tell me how that isn't _cold_ , Chancellor."

Kane glanced at Abby and saw the dejection wash over her — she slumped in her seat and stared at the table. He ran his thumb over the back of her hand, trying to bring her back, but it didn't work. He looked to Indra and said, "She did it for her people. Tell me how that's any different from what Lexa did."

"And your Chancellor called the Commander cold for doing what she did. We're back to where we started, Kane." Indra replied, crossing her arms over her chest. She had won; she knew it, he did too.

David Miller spoke up for the first time since the meeting started, "What does the Commander say about the peace treaty?"

Indra looked at him, saying, "The Commander says we can still have peace. So long as Skaikru doesn't inhabit the Mountain."

David asked, "We can't go near Mount Weather?"

She shook her head. "That's not what I said. You are forbidden to move your people in to the Mountain."

Abby opened her mouth to retort but Kane squeezed her hand, her eyes flickered to his. He whispered, "Think, Abby. Thousands of their people died there, it belongs to them, to those who perished. It's a memorial of sorts, that's what we should treat it as."

Abby was quiet for a moment before she pressed, "What about supply runs? There's valuable material within that bunker."

"Be cautious," she warned. "If the Commander thinks Skaikru is settling the Mountain, war will come and no negotiating with stop it."

"We don't want war," Abby said. "We've all been through enough. We've all lost enough."

The way she said it, Kane knew that she was already aware of Clarke's disappearance. But how she knew, he didn't understand. She had been in Medical the whole time they had been back. Surely someone there hadn't told her. The subject was touchy, everyone knew that. Only Bellamy knew for sure that she had left for good, Bellamy and himself.

"There's one more thing," Indra continued. "Lincoln is no longer Trikru, nor is he welcome with any of the remaining twelve clans. The Commander has put a kill order on him for his abandonment after the war."

"Surely she can be reasoned with," Abby began but Indra's look silenced her.

"The Commander's mind is made up. Lincoln disobeyed her orders, he returned to the Mountain, putting her deal in jeopardy." Miller's confusion caused her to elaborate. "Were they not all dead, the Mountain Men could have bombed our villages."

He nodded. Even Kane hadn't thought of it that way.

Indra stood, apparently that was all she had come to say. Kane pushed himself to his feet, dismayed that his cane was still laying on the ground near the door — Abby was right, he did need it. Miller helped Abby to her feet. As they all walked to the door, Indra paused and said, "Penn waits outside, I'm to leave him here in good faith for you. He's my emissary."

Kane knew the real reason Penn had been chosen, Abby did too. He said, "Thank you."

Indra just nodded and led the charge out of Alpha Station. When she was gone and they were left with Penn, Kane told David Miller show him around. Penn grabbed Kane's arm, eying Miller warily, " _Haukom nou yu_?"

" _Lukot gaf ai in_ ," Kane replied simply. He just hoped the friend was willing to accept his help.

* * *

Kane knocked on the door but got no response. That was fine, he hadn't really expected it. Monty had told him the code of Bellamy Blake's keypad because apparently that was something the boy could figure out. Kane planned to keep Monty close. He entered the digits and the door slid open.

Bellamy sat up on the bed, startled by the invasion of privacy. "What the hell, Kane!"

"You should have answered the door," he replied with a shrug as the door slid shut behind him. He grabbed the chair from Bellamy's workstation and pulled it near the bed, sitting down and hooking his cane over the back.

Bellamy sat up in the bed, hanging his legs over the edge, resigning himself to the conversation. Kane had expected something of a fight, but he didn't get one. "What do you want, Kane?"

The boy didn't look well. He had a gaunt look about him with deep purple bruises under his eyes from sleep deprivation. He was still wearing the clothes he had come back from Mount Weather in, stained and torn. And Kane could smell the alcohol he was sweating out, though that could be leftover from when they had seen each other in the bar yesterday.

"Your friends are worried about you," he began, trying to meet the younger man's eyes. Finally, Bellamy looked at him. Kane continued, "You can't blame yourself for anything, Bellamy—"

"I don't."

"What?"

Bellamy just stared at him, his face void of expression. It was the dead eyes that really unnerved Kane. "I don't blame myself for what happened, for the deaths. It was horrible — the cost of saving our people — but necessary."

"You don't mean that," Kane whispered. He _couldn't_ mean that, not with what Kane knew about Bellamy.

He looked at Kane for a moment and shook his head slowly. "No, I don't." Bellamy's voice broke when he spoke again. "Those people, they trusted me, Kane. Maya, Lee, all of those kids, those who hid my friends — they all counted on me to change things. _I failed_."

Kane leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "It's Clarke, too, isn't it?" The way Bellamy's face fell at the mention of her name was all the answer Kane needed. He sighed and said, "Son, you were the one who told me she wasn't coming back."

"I know that," Bellamy replied dejectedly, his head falling toward his chest.

"That doesn't mean that you have to give up on her," he offered. Bellamy looked up at him, confused. "We can look for her. Send out search teams, map the area. Make it organized."

"You'd let me do that? I'm nothing."

Kane laughed and Bellamy shot him a look. He felt the need to clarify. "I should have mentioned that I intend to make you a cadet of the Guard again. You deserve at the very least that, Bellamy."

For a moment, he was speechless, staring at Kane like he had grown an extra head. Then he got up and pulled Kane up into a hug, wrapping his arms tight around his torso, crushing him. Kane knew this wasn't for making him a cadet again, it was for the possibility of finding Clarke. That hope was what Bellamy needed.

"Thank you, sir," Bellamy said as if the hug hadn't spoken volumes. Though his smile was still sad, his face had lit up, most notably his eyes. It was like they were _alive_ again.

"Of course, I'll be wanting your opinion on the other former delinquents." Kane said, reaching for the metal cane to keep the pressure off of his injured leg when it became clear that they weren't going to be sitting again.

"What do you mean?" Bellamy asked, crossing his arms behind his back. It was like he was resorting to his old cadet ways already. It almost brought a smile to Kane's face.

"I'll be raising some of them to the Guard too," he explained. "We've lost too many as it is. You've proven yourselves, you deserve some respect. Any thoughts?"

Bellamy's smile was genuine, no trace of the sadness that had just been there. "There's Harper, Monroe, Miller, Jones, Trebenski, Slater, Liza—"

"And what of Jasper Jordan?" Kane asked, seeing the flash of guilt cross Bellamy's face.

Bellamy reached for his jacket at the end of the bed. "You're going to need help with him."

* * *

"You were gone a long time," Abby commented when he returned to Medical late that night. She looked exhausted, worn down from her day of treating patients though she was one herself.

She slid over on the cot, making room for him and he climbed on the bed. He should have gone to his room, to let her rest, but he feared the nightmares more than he should have. She would be released the following day anyway, so it was only for one more night.

"Sorry, but Monty wanted me to check in on his friends," he said, sliding his arm over her stomach as he laid his head on her shoulder.

"How are they?" She asked, running her hand over his arm.

His breath tickled her neck as he laughed humorlessly to himself. "They're _surviving_ , but that's it."

She nodded and her other hand started to play with his hair. "Jasper came in this morning with a deep cut on his hand, like it came from a broken bottle."

"That explains the bandage," Kane commented, his fingers skimming her side. "Was he drunk when you saw him?" She nodded. "He was when I saw him, too. He's going to need our help or we'll lose him."

"He just lost his girlfriend."

"So? You think that gives him the right to act that way?" Kane asked seriously. She didn't want to reply, fearing it would bring up memories of losing Jake. But it was already too late for that.

She had blamed everyone but herself. She was alone, confining herself to her quarters so she could be alone with his possessions. She drank Jake's whiskey, slept in his clothes, even used his soap. She avoided her responsibilities — no Council meetings, she didn't even go to work. Thelonious let her, she figured it was because he had voted for Jake's death, because he felt guilty. When they had come for his things, she had nothing left except for his wedding ring. She didn't blame Jasper one bit for his reaction because she had been there before, she had sunk that low. She knew what it was like to feel the black hole in your chest, the one that sucked up everything until it felt like you had nothing left to give. Until it felt like _you_ were nothing. To want to drink so much to forget that the other person had ever existed; but, they never went away. And when you woke up the next morning — your head pounding — their ghost was there with you, staring at you, wondering _why._

"Hey, are you okay?" Kane asked, bringing her back to the present. He was leaning up, his hand on her jaw, staring down at her. She blinked the tears away, hoping he hadn't seen them. If he had, he chose not to say anything. She gave him a small nod. He still looked concerned, but he moved on by asking, "Do you want to talk about Clarke?"

She looked at him, surprised. She sighed and placed her hand on his arm. "How could she just leave without saying goodbye?"

His mouth twitched. "You know she wouldn't have been able to if she had." She just gave him a look. "Think of it from her perspective: she just murdered 300 innocent people, she has that guilt hanging over herself, she comes back here — somewhere she'll have to look at all of us, every day — and we all know exactly what she did, that it was her who did it. Could you face that?"

"Marcus…" She said, her hand sliding out of his hair and along his jaw.

He shook his head. "This isn't about me. This isn't about the Culling, Abby. This really _is_ about Clarke, okay?" She nodded, staring at him misty-eyed. He continued, "Now, if she had come to see you, to say goodbye, would you have let her go? Of course not. She's your daughter, you wouldn't want her going off out on her own, especially not when we weren't sure of the situation with the Grounders. You would want at her home, safe. You would persuade her to stay, or force her to if it came to that.

"Clarke didn't come in for that exact reason. She couldn't risk disappointing you when she slipped away in the night, because she _would_ have. She was never going to stay and nothing you said would have changed that. It would only have broken your heart even more."

Abby's grip on his arm tightened and he wrapped his arms around her, cradling her to him. It wasn't often that she cried, but he knew she had to now. She had thought she had her daughter back for good, but it wasn't something else taking her away from her this time — it was Clarke leaving on her own free will. And he knew that was so much worse than the Mountain Men taking her before they could be reunited, or sending her to Earth to die.

She pulled away from him and he wiped her tears away with his thumbs. She gripped him by the hair and pulled him down to her again, kissing and holding him like he was the only thing keeping her tethered to the Earth. In a way, she figured, he was. She would have lost her sanity long ago. Earth was a cruel place and if she had gone it alone, she might have given up. But Kane had always been there, helping her, making sure she was one step closer to her daughter. Now, he was helping her understand and that was more important than accepting that Clarke had left, she had to know _why_.

She pulled away again, but kept close, their lips nearly touching still. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Marcus."

He smiled, drawing light circles on her hip. "I love you, too."


	12. Haunted

_"She's my best friend." -_ _Callie Cartwig, "Pilot"_

* * *

Kane walked through the station, his footsteps echoing, the metal cane _clicking_ on the floor. He reached Medical, wove his way through the half-empty cots, and found Abby nearly dressed in the back room. He stopped short, leaning against the doorway, his body keeping the plastic barrier pushed apart.

She turned to look at him as she picked a clean shirt up off the bed. "Get in here, Marcus. Let's not give everyone a show."

He smiled and walked in, leaning against the wall. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been worse," she said, pulling the shirt over her head.

"That's not an answer, Abby," he pushed himself off the wall and walked toward her, leaving the cane. He placed his hand on her arm. "Are you sure you're ready to get back to work?"

"I was back to work yesterday."

"And you shouldn't have been," Kane said sternly. "Jackson knew that, but he also knew that you wouldn't say no. He was overworked and needed a break; it was selfish of him."

"Don't say that," she said softly. "He's doing his best."

He didn't respond to that, saying instead, "I told Miller to meet us in the Council chamber. We should get going."

She gave him a peculiar look but brushed off his hand and started limping for the door. He stopped her and handed her the cane he had abandoned against the wall. She shook her head. "You need it."

"Not as much as you," he tapped the handle against her arm, insisting.

"We have other canes, Marcus."

"Just take the damn thing, Abby. _Ease my worry,_ " he shot her words back at her like they were acidic, like they burned him. He hadn't liked her fussing over him and he knew she liked it even less. She snatched the thing out of his hands and stormed out of the room. He limped after her.

Falling into wobbly step beside her, he asked, "Why didn't you tell me about David's appointment to the Council?"

She sighed. "I didn't think it was a big deal; you two are friends."

"I'm not upset with the appointment. I'm just wondering why you made the decision without me."

"As I remember it, the chancellor makes the appointments—"

"To be approved by the council members," Kane reminded her. He had been on the Council years before she was appointed by Thelonious, he knew the inner workings much better than her.

"But you approve of David," she said, confused. He nodded. "So what's the problem?"

"There is no problem," he said, glancing over at her. "I would have liked to have been informed rather than been blindsided in front of Indra."

Abby rolled her eyes. "You're mad I embarrassed you in front of your friend."

He scoffed and spat back, "Don't even try to—"

She teased, "Watch out, Kane, or I'll do it in front of Penn next."

He just shook his head to himself and took off ahead of her, leaving her to walk alone with a grin on her face, fighting the laugh that threatened to burst out of her.

David Miller was waiting when he arrived, sitting in the same chair he had at their meeting yesterday. Kane strode in and sat across from him, huffing a little. Miller asked, "Where's Abby?"

"Coming."

She walked through the door a minute later, the cane _clicking_ on the floor. She still had that grin on her face, looking at Kane's surly expression with glee. Miller looked from one to the other and didn't press the issue, understanding what was going on. Abby sat between the two men at the round table and said, "I guess that's all of us."

"Yes, that should be the first order of business," Kane said, sitting up in his chair, his demeanor changing in an instant now that the meeting had started. It always amazed Abby how serious he could become no matter what he was feeling, it was like a switch with him. "We need to appoint new members. No offense to you, David, but this needs to be done by the book. Not that I wouldn't have voted for you."

"Thanks, I guess." Miller said, looking at Kane uncertainly. "How exactly does this work?"

Abby explained, "I'm supposed to nominate who I think will be most beneficial, who will uphold the laws, who will do right by our people."

"And does it matter who they are?" David asked. "Shouldn't all of our main interests be represented here?"

"Like…?" Kane pressed, understanding where he was going. In the past, they had very one-sided councils and nothing good got done.

"Agriculture, education, environment," he replied. "We have medical and law enforcement well covered."

Abby and Kane exchanged glances, smiling at one another. Miller had clearly thought about this, he had prepared for the meeting which was a relief.

The Chancellor said, "That's how it should be, you're right. Who's the best in those fields, do either of you know? Our ranks are fairly depleted at this point. We'll need engineering too, Sinclair will have to do there."

They all knew Sinclair was the best, anyway.

"Wick told me about the head of Agro, Abbot Simon. Apparently he's trying to start up crops," Kane said, deep in thought, elbows resting on the table, fingers steepled. "He'll be useful."

Abby nodded. "As for environment, Bennett Albright will work. He replaced…he's the senior environmental engineer and deputy resource officer now."

Kane looked at her, concern written on his face. She almost said that Bennett had taken over Jake's jobs. He watched as she closed off momentarily, the grief washing over her despite the time that had passed, just like she had the previous night. Heat burned in his chest and he wanted to go around the table and take her in his arms. He would have if David hadn't been there. Instead, he watched as she fought to compose herself.

Kane pressed on, talking to David to give Abby time, "That just leaves education. Now, I was thinking Isaac Davis."

David shook his head. "Davis is good, but he's not exactly leadership material. You weren't at the meeting when he was teaching the guard Earth Skills."

"Sorry I missed that — someone released a couple of prisoners and I had bigger issues to deal with." He shot a look at Miller because he couldn't bring himself to direct that momentary anger at Abby.

Miller raised his hands in defense. "I wanted my son back."

Kane's face erased itself of all irritation. "I know. Who else?"

"Gwen Lee. Botany's her subject, that could be very useful for medical." Miller went on, glancing at Abby. He didn't notice Kane's face drain of its color as he continued, "Other than that, we're pretty lacking in the teacher department. A good number of them were on Farm Station when we came down. We're picking from a handful. Gwen's our best bet."

Kane nodded, a stiff movement. "Gwen it is."

Abby, rejoining the conversation, said, "Is that it? Sinclair, Bennett, Abbot, and Gwen? Who's telling them? I have to return to Medical after this."

"I have guard duty," Miller said. They both looked at Kane. He just nodded, hoping that he didn't look pale still. The way Abby was looking at him didn't ease his worry.

"Now, the memorial," Abby began. "Medical is nearly cleared out of everyone who was injured in the war against Mount Weather. I think we'll be set to hold the service in three days' time."

The men nodded.

"Anything else?" She asked, looking at both of them in turn. She was met with blank stares and said, "All right."

Abby stood and so did the two men. David Miller was the first to leave, sensing that they needed a moment alone to talk. Abby grabbed Kane's sleeve, more so to steady herself as she reached for her cane.

She asked, "Gwen Lee, why does that name sound familiar?" Kane's avoidance of her gaze caused Abby to smirk. "Did you date a teacher, Marcus? I just don't see that working."

He let out a breathy laugh void of all emotion. "That's why it didn't work, clashing personalities."

"Are you sure you can do this?" Abby asked, an almost amused expression on her face.

He glared at her halfheartedly, saying, "You have nothing to worry about."

* * *

Kane didn't know the last time he had thought about Gwen Lee, only once since he started seeing Callie Cartwig a year or so before the 100 were sent to the ground. But with each step he took toward her classroom, the memories flooded back: meeting each other after she finished lessons or he a patrol or Council meeting; late nights in one of their quarters, sometimes just talking until it was time to head to breakfast; watching the moonrise before making love. He stopped dead in the hallway, shaking that last one out of his head. He never had to think of that again, he never had to think of her that way again.

"Marcus," she said, surprised when the door opened to reveal him. After all of this time, he half-expected her to call him by his surname. Gwen looked the same as ever — long wavy black hair, brown eyes, freckles, yellow shirt. She always liked yellow. Her hands, he had always thought, were made for an instrument or the arts, but she molded the minds of the youth instead. The wedding ring she used to wear on her finger — one she had worn even when they had been together — was absent. Apparently she had finally gotten over her late husband, floated ten years ago for a reason he no longer cared to remember.

"Gwen," he said curtly, walking into the room and hearing the door shut behind on its own accord. He stood in front of her, arms crossed behind his back, watching her as she gathered up her things, putting her tablet in her bag.

She slung the bag over her shoulder and looked at him, eyebrows knitting together at his rigid stance. "Sorry, am I speaking with Councillor Kane? I wasn't aware. Please, tell me why you're here, _Councillor._ " Her tone had turned cool in an instant and he was briefly reminded of the explosive fights they had had in the end.

Kane didn't let it affect him. He said, "It's funny you say that. The Council has voted and we've selected you as a new member." He offered his hand, palm up, to her; in it sat a Council pin.

"You're joking right," she sounded indignant but she took a step toward him, eyes flickering to the pin. Her eyes met his again. "It must have been slim pickings for you to come to me, Marcus."

"I didn't nominate you, Gwen," he replied coolly. "I chose Davis, but it was argued that you're the best teacher who made it to ground."

"Oh, it was out of the teachers." She laughed to herself. "There are only four of us, Kane. And I'm one hell of a botanist, you know that. It's insulting that you'd put our past in front of our people. I'd be hurt if I didn't know how much of an asshole you are."

"People change, Gwen."

She eyed him thoughtfully, taking in every inch of him. "I suppose they do. You seem different; who removed the stick from your ass?"

He glared at her, his jaw tensing. "Take the damn pin before I give it to Davis."

She kept her eyes on his as she reached for it, lifting it from his palm without making contact with his skin. She secured it to her shirt near her exposed collarbone. She was surprised that his gaze didn't waver from hers, but he was Marcus Kane and he never backed down from a challenge. That's what she was doing, challenging him to accept defeat first, to acknowledge that their past relationship might get in the way.

Gwen said, with genuine gratitude, "Thank you, Marcus. It's big of you to come to me after all of this time."

"You have an inflated sense of self-importance, Gwen," Kane said, staring at her with cold eyes. "Abby and David were busy."

An amused smiled pulled at her lips. "Ah, Abby. How's that going? I assume she's forgiven you for locking up her daughter, I'm still working on that."

"I didn't lock up Rebecca!" He snarled, crossing the distance between them in anger and glaring down at her.

Her smile didn't falter, used to his antics. "You might as well have."

His eyes flashed dangerously and he turned to leave, halfway to the door before she called out.

"Marcus, wait," she said, reaching for his arm to stop him from leaving. She released him the second he turned back to her. "I shouldn't have said that. I still haven't thanked you for saving her, for getting her out of Mount Weather. I don't know what I would have done…"

He felt something catch in his throat. When he pushed Gwen away all those years ago, he had done the same to her daughter too. Rebecca hadn't deserved that — he had treated her like his own daughter for five years then one day, he had shut her out, abandoned her like she was nothing. He couldn't imagine what that had done to her, she was just 12 then. No, he _knew_ what it had done to her, what _he_ had done to her. He remembered her arrest not long after the end of their relationship, he knew it had been because she had been trying to get to him. She had assaulted a guard when they wouldn't tell her where he was; he was busy in a Council meeting, told them that he wouldn't see anyone with the last name of Lee. It had been petty, he knew it then, he knew it now. Just look what it had done to Rebecca.

He remembered seeing her name on the screen in Earth Monitoring, worrying over her when they lost communication with the drop ship. He remembered going halfway to Gwen's quarters when Rebecca's square went dark but thinking better of it, remembering what Abby had said about the kids taking off their wristbands.

Once the Ark had come to Earth and he had Abby, he hadn't thought of Rebecca, not once. It had been all about finding Clarke, keeping Abby safe, taking down Mount Weather. He hadn't realized that Rebecca would be in Mount Weather, that he would be inadvertently saving her too. Her name hadn't even crossed his mind.

"Marcus," Gwen prodded gently, looking up at him.

"Yeah," he said, blinking. His mouth twitched, trying to smile but it wouldn't come. "I'm sorry, I have to go. Tell Rebecca I'll be around to see her soon."

He walked out, unable to look at her anymore. Unsure of if he would actually go and see Rebecca.

* * *

Abby looked up at the sound of the door opening. She laid on the couch, her tablet in her hands, a map of Mount Weather pulled up. Kane walked in, an unreadable expression on his face. He walked over and sat down in the chair next to hers, leaning his head against the back of it as he closed his eyes. She reached over and put her hand on his knee. "How did it go?"

"Abbot wants to start farming immediately. I told him we need to—"

"You know that's not what I meant," she interrupted.

Kane's eyes flashed open and when he looked at her, his eyes were cold. "Do you really need me to tell you that nothing happened between Gwen and me?"

She retracted her hand like she had been burned. " _No._ That's not what I meant at all, Marcus. I never thought anything would happen."

"Good, because I'm not in the mood for you to accuse me of things too." He leaned back again, rubbing the heels of his hands against his eye sockets.

She didn't reach for him again, though she longed to comfort him. Instead, she said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

She turned back to her tablet, looking over the map again. She said conversationally, "Gina came to me earlier. Told me that you want her to head up the supply runs."

"And…?"

"She's never been to Mount Weather, Marcus. I know you like her, but you can't give her a job that she doesn't deserve—"

"She has potential. I don't want to argue about this, Abby."

He looked so worn out, she didn't press it. She set her tablet on the coffee table and stood up, walking around to stand behind his chair. She leaned against the back of it and wrapped her arms around his chest. His eyes opened, staring up at her face. Her nails gently raked over his chest as she leaned down and pressed her lips to his briefly. She felt him deflate, the stress releasing from him if only for a moment.

Pulling away, she said, "You know I don't care what happened with you and Gwen in the past, right?"

"Why do you keep bringing it up then?" He asked dully, his eyes closed again. He was completely over the conversation, wishing more than anything that David Miller had never suggested her for the spot. It would only get worse, he knew it. Gwen wasn't going to let the past die, not if she was forced to spent several hours a week with him.

"I just want you to know that—"

"What? That you're supportive, that you believe in me, that you're fine with everything that I've done in my past? Because I find that hard to believe; sometimes it seems like you'd much rather argue and fight, Abby." Kane said, his eyes opening to look at her. Her arms slid up his chest, like she thought about retracting them for a moment.

"Marcus," she began but he didn't let her get anywhere.

"How would you like it if I kept bringing up your past? Do you want to talk about Jake and how you've cried the past two days over him?" He stared up at her, his eyes dead. But the look on her face caused him to change quickly. His eyes softened and a breath was stuck in his chest. "Abby, I'm sorry—"

"No, no it's fine. You've gone there, Kane. What about Callie then?" She spat, forcing herself to look at him. "Let's talk about Callie."

"We're not talking about Callie!" He shouted, something deeper than anger coming out of him, his nails digging into the armrests of the chair.

"We've never talked about Callie. She was my _best friend_ and — I don't know — were you two dating? I don't understand what she saw in you."

"We were dating, now drop it." He said harshly. Abby's face betrayed her, it showed her hurt. Kane's jaw set and he had to look away from her, leaning forward in the chair, his elbows on his knees. He didn't know why they were fighting about any of this, it was all in the past.

"Why was she floated? One day she was there, then she was gone," Abby whispered, her voice seemed so far away. Something burned deep inside of Kane and he knew if he looked at her he would pull her into his arms and never let go. Abby pressed, "What did she do that was so bad for you to floated her?"

He was silent for a long time, he could feel her eyes boring into his back. Though she wasn't showing it, she was angrier than he had ever seen her and he had seen her lose it plenty of times; Callie was a subject they never talked about because Abby had never gotten closure, in many ways, Kane didn't either. It was hard for him to believe that it had been less than two months since her death, it seemed like an eternity ago. He closed his eyes, feeling the hot pinpricks in his eyes; he fought the tears that were coming.

He finally choked out, "I didn't float Callie, Thelonious did." He felt her fingers on his shoulder but he didn't want them. He shrugged them off and stood up, facing her with the chair between them, his eyes screwed up in a mixture of rage and sorrow. "But of course you blame me for yet another death that I didn't cause. You blame me for Jake's execution, now you blame me for Callie's. Come on, Abby, who else's demise do you want to pile on my conscience? As if I already don't have a hard enough time accepting the people I _have_ killed. Just add some more, why don't you!" She just stared at him, tears in her eyes. Kane continued, "Do you want to know what Callie did to get floated? She was arrested for assault. She attacked a guard when he wouldn't let her in to see you in Lockup. If you're going to blame anyone for Callie's death, blame yourself, Abby!"

He stormed off toward the door and Abby called out, "Marcus, wait!" but it was too late, he was already gone.


	13. In Memoriam

_"We're all grieving. This has been hard on all of us." —_ Abby Griffin, "Watch the Thrones"

* * *

With the thinning of patients in Medical, Abby's mind was able to wander back to Marcus Kane. Three days. She had managed to not think about him for three whole days. She'd thought about what he had said, of course, what he had accused her of.

 _Is it an accusation if it's true?_

Even she couldn't deny that what he had said was true. She _was_ the only one to blame for both her husband and best friend's deaths. And that hurt even more than blaming the man she loved. So she embraced the pain, let herself live in it, it was a dull ache in her chest now, with her wherever she went. She couldn't blame Marcus for telling her what he had, she blamed too many things on him that were never his fault in the first place, he had every right to be upset.

"Abby. Hello?" A hand was waving in front of her face, the owner had apparently been trying to get her attention for some time. She dragged herself out of her mind and blinked at Jackson. He sighed, "You have to stop doing this to yourself, Abby. Is it Kane? Do I need to show him that he can't hurt you like this?"

She didn't want to bruise his ego, but she knew that he didn't stand a chance against Marcus Kane. Jackson meant well, but he was more brain than brawn. She wasn't about to have another friend hurt because of her. She shook her head and said, "I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Abby." Jackson said gently, taking her hand in his. He had a serious look on his face as he said, "Really, I'll fight Kane."

"That's not necessary," she smiled for the first time in days and she figured that was his goal all along.

He pulled her to her feet and said, "It's time for the memorial."

They walked toward the mess hall in comfortable silence, her hand still in his. She thought how easy it would have been if she had fallen for Jackson over Marcus. He was uncomplicated, sweet, caring; but he had always been the closest thing to a brother she could have, ever since he had started working at Ark Station Medical.

The room was nearly full when they entered and Jackson pulled his hand out of hers at the sight of Kane near the front with Bellamy, the Millers, Wick, and Raven. He was all-talk when it came to beating up Marcus. Jackson walked toward the other side of the room, opposite of Kane, and sat down. Abby followed, taking the spot next to him.

"Kane's staring at you," Jackson muttered. She glanced at her friend and saw that he was glaring back at him for her, his eyes cold. She suppressed a smile, he was really sticking with the 'protector' role.

Mischa Rosen stood to begin the service, she had been one of the kids trapped in Mount Weather. Abby had let the former delinquents chose the leader for the service — Mischa had been their third choice after Bellamy and Jasper had turned it down.

As Mischa began to talk, Abby stole a glance at Kane. He was no longer looking at her, watching Mischa with interest. His eyebrows were knitted together, concentrating on each word she spoke.

Mischa spoke not only of those they had lost in the Mountain, but of all who had been lost since the landing — the adults, the children, the teenagers. She mentioned Clarke, who she hoped was safe and would come back to them. Abby felt Jackson's hand clasp hers and looked up to find Kane's eyes searching her face, that familiar look of concern there. She gave him a reassuring smile as Mischa went on to talk about her daughter's role in the war and what it had meant to those trapped in the Mountain.

Then came the time for them to go one by one through each person who had died, allowing whoever wanted to to stand for them and say a few words. It took a while to get through each delinquent, 58 had died since the landing. Octavia stood for a boy named Atom; Bellamy for a several, including the youngest they had sent, a girl named Charlotte; Jasper for Fox; Mel for Sterling; Raven for Finn.

"Who stands for Wells Jaha?" Mischa asked. There was an expectant look around the room. Abby felt a heat burn in her chest, she had watched that boy grow up his whole life and now he had no one left, not even his father who was god knows where. She looked up and found Kane's eyes again.

She found herself standing without really thinking about it. Mischa stepped back and let Abby have the floor. She stared at the aisle between the two sections of chairs, unable to look at anyone in particular for fear of breaking down.

"Wells was fiercely loyal and protective, even when it was at the expense of his own happiness. He was a great kid, and didn't deserve the ending he got." She had nothing to place on the large pile of mementos for Wells, she hadn't thought she would be speaking for him.

After her, it was time for the adults they had lost. Gina Martin stood for her father, killed in the missile attack on Tondc — he had been a member of the Guard; Miller for Byrne; Lincoln for the Grounders, a collective remembering because the service would have gone on for hours if not and he was the only one who would stand for them aside from Kane and Penn. At last, they arrived at the Mountain Men themselves. Bellamy, Jasper, and Monty stepped to the front of the room, surprising some in the crowd given that two of them had irradiated Level 5.

Bellamy looked over the crowd, his jaw tight as his eyes found Kane's, Marcus gave him a small, reassuring nod. Bellamy drew in a slow breath and said, "The decision we made in that control room wasn't done lightly. Those people helped us, hid us, defied their leaders to save total strangers. We would have died if it weren't for them. We won't call it a sacrifice — what they did — because that's not what it was. They wanted to live and we could have done that for them. But that would have meant losing some of our people and we couldn't do that, we…"

His voice broke and Monty continued as if the transition had been planned. "We did it for you all, for the safety of our people at the expense of theirs. But we won't forget them, we can't."

Jasper held a patch from Mount Weather, taken from the uniform Bellamy had worn for the longest time. It shook a little in his hand though he appeared sober for the first time in days. "This is in memory of Mr. and Mrs. Peters."

"For Mrs. Ryan," Monty added.

"For Lee," Bellamy continued. "For every person on Level 5 who had nothing to do with the war their superiors were fighting. For the children."

"For Vincent Vie," Jasper said, the patch really shaking now. "For Maya."

"They weren't all bad, we have to remember that," Bellamy concluded as Jasper set the patch down among the other mementos.

Mischa wrapped up the service and Abby could feel Kane's eyes on her but couldn't look at him. Her eyes were brimming with tears and she knew if she looked at him, they would spill over. At last, the service was over and Jackson looked at her, asking if she needed a hand climbing the stairs to her room.

She shook her head. "I'll be fine." He nodded, though he was still unsure. " _Really_ , Jackson. I can walk. I'll manage, take the night off from your doctorly duties."

The room slowly began to empty, people heading to their quarters to be alone with their memories or to the bar for a drink. She looked over to the spot Kane had been in and found it empty. She didn't know why she expected anything different.

Jasper stalked by, heading out the door that would lead him to the bar. Abby shook her head and followed him. He was already too far gone, she wasn't about to let him slip further away. Today had been progress for him.

The bar was pretty full, several of the former delinquents on duty, acting as bartenders. She recognized the girl about to give Jasper a drink from the screen in Earth Monitoring — Amanda Wowryk.

"None for him," she said, sitting next to him on a stool.

"Yeah, well you're not my mom, Doc." Jasper said before turning back to Amanda. She looked uncertainly at Abby before pouring Jasper a drink; she poured Abby one too.

"I know I'm not, Jasper, but—"

"I'm glad I'm not your kid, look how Clarke turned out," he interrupted, glaring at her as he took the drink Amanda had poured for him. Abby downed her drink before reaching for his and swallowing it whole too. Jasper stared at her before he spat, "I helped make that, I have every right to drink it."

"You have no right to act this way," she snapped. He stared at her. Quieter, she said, "I know you lost Maya and I know it hurts."

"And who's fault is that?" He asked, trying to get Amanda's attention again but she was busy with the Millers at the other end of the bar.

Abby sighed. "I know you blame Clarke, you probably hate her. So hate her, that's fine." He looked at her surprised, lowering his hand to the bar top. "Don't you dare throw away your life on the dead, Jasper. We need you, your friends need you. You can't just shut them out."

"No one needs me," he said, staring at the empty cups in front of her.

"Yes, we do," she said earnestly. "Jasper, the pain will get better. But you have to give it time. Drinking yourself into stupors won't solve anything, it'll only make it worse, trust me. You have to let yourself heal."

"I don't want to forget her," he said, tears coming out of nowhere and threatening to spill down his cheeks.

"You won't," she said gently. "You'll always have the memories of her. You'll never forget that. She was special to you, Jasper, but you have to let her go."

He reached up and wiped the tears away before they could release themselves. He smiled, a sad look that shouldn't have pained her as much as it did — she barely knew him. "Thanks, Doc."

She gave him a kind smile. "I had better not catch you anywhere near here for some time, is that clear?"

"Crystal," he said, standing up.

Amanda came back and asked, "Another, Chancellor?"

"Sure."

"I'll have one too." She knew it was him without looking. Kane sat in Jasper's empty seat but that wasn't the most interesting part of his arrival. A darkness appeared over Amanda's face as she poured the moonshine and handed one to each of them, slamming Kane's down on the table before abandoning their side of the bar for the other. Abby watched her talk with another delinquent, Jeff Trebenski; he walked toward their end to take over her duties.

"Do you know her?" She asked, keeping her eye on Amanda as she cleared tables.

Kane lowered his glass and looked over at the girl, staring at her for several seconds. "Yeah…her dad was a teacher, James Wowryk. He stole medicine for a sick student but we couldn't really prove it was him so it went to a vote. He was floated."

"When was this?" She asked, turning back to him and her drink.

He answered immediately, "4 years ago." He took another drink of the moonshine, his cup running empty. Trebenski filled it immediately. Kane said, "That was nice of you, what you did for Jasper."

"How long were you watching?"

"Long enough," he said, turning toward her. His mouth twitched, a smile tugging at his lips. It was like it was fight against the anger that had filled him the past few days, the smile winning out. His voice dropped to a whisper when he spoke again, though the closest person to them was Nathan Miller and he was five seats away. "Abby, I'm sorry. I should have come to you sooner, I had no right to say what I did. Callie wasn't just mine, she was yours too—"

"Marcus, you're forgiven. Don't apologize," she said, feeling the lump rise in her throat and knew that if he kept going the tears would come. She didn't want to cry in front of him again, nor in front of all of the people in the bar — which seemed like half of camp at this point. She continued, hoping her voice wouldn't break, "What you told me wasn't wrong. Most of the things I blame you for aren't you fault. I need to take responsibility for what I've done."

He had a sad smile on his face as he reached over and took her hand. His felt so warm and it was a welcomed comfort. "I still feel terrible."

"People fight, it doesn't mean they don't still love each other."

"The last time I fought like that, my relationship ended and her daughter was sent to Lockup," he admitted, signaling to Trebenski for more drinks. Apparently this was a story that needed more alcohol. Though she didn't press him, he continued anyway because he knew she was curious. "Rebecca was twelve when Gwen ended it with me. It was actually over the Council decision to float James, she was his friend. She was — let's say — _more than upset_ that I didn't change my vote to 'not guilty.'

"Anyway, I had been dating Gwen since Rebecca was 7 so she treated me like something of a father. Gwen didn't want her seeing me, I didn't want to see Gwen and Rebecca looked so much like her, I knew even seeing her would be hard." He paused, his face filling with guilt. "She assaulted Shumway outside of one of the Council meetings; she just wanted to see me."

Abby squeezed his hand. She knew the name, that Rebecca had been sent down with Clarke and the others. "What happened to her?"

"She was taken to Mount Weather. She's fine though, Clarke made sure of that. I saw her at the memorial with Gina."

She smiled. "Is that why you like Gina so much?"

"They grew up together on Factory Station." He nodded to the bar top before looking at her. "Do you still object to her heading the supply runs?"

She shook her head. "No, it's fine."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head. She closed her eyes and felt the stress that had been coiled inside of her release with an exhale. He let her go and picked up his cup, she did the same.

"Kane!" They both turned and saw Wick making his way through the crowd, his tablet in hand. "Monty and I figured out the irrigation problem, Abbot wants to begin in the morning."

"Isn't it a bit late in the season to be farming?" Abby asked and was met with a blank stare from Wick.

"Oh, Chancellor, when you're as brilliant as I am, you could farm on the moon with no sun." She let out an exasperated sigh and picked up her moonshine while Kane laughed, taking the tablet from Wick as he sat next to him, flagging down Trebenski for a drink.

Kane flicked through the plans, asking, "Has Abbot figured out the stables yet; or picked who he wants to recruit for Agro?"

"Raven and Mel are on the stable project, something about wanting to get their hands dirty. More power to them, it sounds like shitty work. As for the recruits, he's still trying to steal Monty from us. Sinclair's willing to loan him out on certain projects but I told him 'over my dead body.'"

"Now, Wick, play nice," Kane chastised.

He smirked before taking a drink. "Abbot plans to meet with Gwen Lee in the morning, see who her best botany students were."

Kane nodded. "Good, we should bring Gwen in on the project full-time. It wouldn't hurt to have some medicinal herbs growing."

"Good talk, boss," Wick said, downing his drink before he snatched his tablet out of Kane's hands.

"What was that about?" Abby asked, watching Wick part the crowd.

Kane swallowed the rest of his drink and nudged hers toward her as he stood. "Let me show you."

* * *

The massive clear board sat in the corner of Kane's living room, covered in yellow, blue, and green writings and a hand-drawn map of the camp's outdoor area. He had mapped out where the crops would go; stables; a hangar; a new gate for easy vehicular access; a patio near the main gate. He had notes scrawled all over: _training room inside; expand housing; new mechanic room; expand engineering; storage; better children's facilities._

The board was titled, _Arkadia._

Abby pointed at the name, a question in her eyes. He shrugged. "It doesn't seem right to leave it named after a man who abandoned us. It isn't too corny, is it?"

She smiled, shaking her head. "I like it."

"Good; Sinclair's already working on a new sign."

She knew he was joking, that he would have waited for her approval, but it felt so _right_ to have him poking fun at her again. The tension between them had dissipated and she felt like she could really breathe for the first time in days.

"We should have another meeting tomorrow," Kane said, thinking out loud as he stared at the board. He reached behind him for his tablet, but it was on the coffee table ten feet away. Abby walked over and grabbed it, placing it in his hands. He smiled, "Thanks."

She knocked her hip against his. "That's why I'm here."

"That's not only why you're here." She had a question in her eyes. An eyebrow cocked up as he answered, "I have big plans for that bed later."

Her eyes widened and her lips pursed together to keep from smiling but he didn't notice, staring at the screen as he sent a message to the other council members. He turned his attention back to the board, setting the tablet behind him in the table he must have wheeled over because it certainly didn't belong there. He picked up a marker and flicked it between his fingers, his other hand stroking the fine beginnings of a beard.

He was thinking out loud again, "I want Miller to have input on security, maybe we should put up towers," he wrote _guard towers_ near the bottom, starting a separate list. "Gwen and Abbot might need a larger plot of land. What if the soil's not good—"

"Marcus," she stilled his frantic hand, scrawling notes all over the lower part of the board. She stole the marker away from him. "There's no use speculating. We'll decide it in the morning, okay?"

He nodded and allowed himself to be pulled to the couch. She pushed him down and leaned against his chest, his arm wrapped around her. She admired the board from the distance, saying, "It's remarkable. Is this what you've been doing with the past three days?"

He didn't tense like she expected him to; instead, he laughed — a deep, throaty sound that she hadn't realized how much she missed. He said, "Anger brings out my productive side. What did you do with your time?"

She was silent.

"That bad," he whispered. Kane rearranged their bodies so he could look at her, his hand secured around hers. "It's not…weak to talk about it with me. I'm here, Abby, I'll always be here."

She pulled away, saying, "You weren't here the last three days."

He sighed and released her hand, letting her close off as much as she wanted — he wasn't going to stop her. She had every right to be mad, but the funny thing was, she wasn't. She was heartbroken, sure, but that had nothing to do with him. She had let the guilt consume her again, had holed up in her room when she wasn't working, reminding herself too much of the Abby Griffin who had just lost her husband and daughter.

This time though, she hadn't drank, not one sip. She was better than the woman she had been when she lost Jake. She was stronger. Marcus was waiting for her, she knew it. He always would be, regardless of what happened between them. He had tried to float her a couple of times and here he was, loving her. They would always be there for each other and she knew the sooner she accepted that, the sooner she could accept her happiness.

Abby reached for him, taking his hand again. He looked at her, his eyes guarded as if he didn't trust her change in mood. She didn't blame him honestly, she hadn't been very consistent lately, not since Clarke had disappeared. She slid over on the couch and climbed onto his lap, mindful of his injured leg that had to still hurt despite the fact that he never mentioned it.

A slow smile crawled across his lips as her arms circled his shoulders. He grasped her hips before letting his hands wander, one snaking around her waist, the other trailing up her spine to her neck. She had begun to relish the way he looked at her before leaning in to take her lips; his eyes weren't just greedy, they were hungry, they meant to devour her. Yet when his lips met hers, they were gentle, moving softly against hers.

Abby didn't want that though, she wanted passion after three days of grief and being haunted by ghosts. She gripped his hair and leaned back, pulling him with her, on top of her. His hand slid under her shirt as they slammed into the cushions. He nudged apart her legs and settled between them as his lips descended on her neck, sucking and nipping at her skin, bringing out soft moans from Abby as her hand tangled in his hair.

He pulled away, kneeling in front of her, staring down at her hungrily. From the way the corner of his eyes pinched, she could tell he was in pain but he kept on, tugging his shirt over his head and flopping down on the other end of the couch to take off his pants. She smiled, watching him for a moment before she followed suit and undressed.

Impatient and naked, Kane tugged her pants off and she squealed as she was pulled down the couch with them. He laughed and leaned his head against her thigh for a moment. Regaining his composure, he peeled her pants and underwear off and leaned back to admire the beauty that was a very naked Abby Griffin.

"Must you stare, Kane?" She asked, nudging him with her foot.

He stalked toward her on the couch, saying, "Would you not admire a work of art, Abby?"

She rolled her eyes as he descended on her, parting her legs with his shoulders. She remembered a time when he used that tongue solely to be harsh, to judge her, to threaten her. Now he used it to bring her pleasure, to profess love, to make promises.

She gripped his hair and her legs clenched around him as she gave herself over to pleasure. He disentangled himself from her legs and climbed up her body, looking like that had only increased his appetite for her.

They never made it to the bed.


	14. Amends

_"One decision does not define a man."_ -Marcus Kane, "Twilight's Last Gleaming"

* * *

Kane stood with his arms crossed, watching the towers go up little by little. It had been a week since the Council had met and voted on the expansion of Arkadia. They had been salvaging the wreckage that was still spread out through the trees and finally started construction today. He was thankful for the continued peace with the Grounders because they were drawing a lot of attention to themselves with the noise they were making.

Behind him, the garden was going in; the soil had been tilled and Abbot already had some seedlings going from seeds he had found in the bunkers weeks ago: garlic, onion, kale, peas, spinach, chard. Thankfully, they were expecting a relatively mild winter — it hadn't snowed much since the nuclear war, but they were prepared for the freezing temperatures. Gwen and Abbot had promised the plants would hold.

"Kane!" He turned and found Octavia running toward him. He opened his mouth to greet her but she continued, "Penn's been attacked."

He followed her to Medical and found Penn cut, bloodied, and bruised. Lincoln stood next to his cot, arms crossed as he watched Abby assess the injuries. Kane stood at the foot of the cot with Octavia and asked, "What happened?"

"One of your people—"

" _Our people_ , Lincoln," Abby interrupted, looking up from Penn's arm. "You're one of us now."

A peculiar look settled on his face, something between a grimace and pride. Octavia nudged Kane's arm and pointed to the young man laying unconscious on a cot across the room; Jackson was cleaning him up. "Mike Bogdanovic, he came down on the drop ship with me. He smacked Penn over the head with a board; they were working on the training room. He knocked him out cold and was still attacking him when Lincoln and I got there."

Kane shook his head, staring across the room at Bogdanovic. "We have to teach them that the Grounders aren't to be feared, or we're going to have riots on our hands."

"A lot of them are upset that they abandoned us at Mount Weather still," Octavia said, looking at Kane. "The ones who were in Mount Weather when it happened."

He turned back to her nodding. "We'll take care of it. Don't you have horses to catch?"

A hint of a smile appeared on her face before she left the room. He looked back to Penn and saw Abby staring at him. "What?"

She just shrugged and went back to Penn, feeling his forehead. "He's feverish. I think he has an infection, probably a rusty nail on that board. He needs antibiotics—"

"We're out," Jackson said from across the room.

"How are we out of antibiotics, Jackson?" Kane spat, glaring at him as he rummaged through a box of glass bottles. "Isn't it your job to keep stocked on things like this?"

"They don't exactly grow on trees, Kane!" Jackson said, his voice rising as he withdrew from the box and crossed the room. He was a foot from Kane when Abby intervened.

"Guys, stop!" She said in a hushed tone, placing a hand on both of their heaving chests. She could almost smell the testosterone in the air as they glared at each other, preparing to further their argument.

"I know where to find some." They had all but forgotten that Lincoln was there, standing silently by Penn's cot. All eyes were on him as he spoke again, "There's this red seaweed, you can use it as a poultice or Octavia told me they brewed it in a tea for Jasper."

Abby asked, "Where is it?"

"I'll show you," he said but Kane shook his head.

"The kill order, Lincoln. You can't leave camp," Kane said, a frown on his face.

The abandonment of Trikru had hit Lincoln hard and it was easy to read on his face now. He nodded and replied, "Let me draw you a map then. There's some close by."

* * *

"This is the lake Mecha crashed by, right?" Abby asked, running her finger over the shading on the paper. The river that fed into it was their destination.

"What is that — three, four miles?" Kane said, scratching his beard. "Going by horse, it's less than an hour round trip."

"If you take a rover, it'll be quicker," she said, raising an eyebrow.

He drew in a breath. "I'm not comfortable with those things."

She smiled and placed a hand on his arm, "Penn needs those antibiotics, Marcus."

He conceded, "I'm not driving."

"One of the kids will, they've taken to those _things,_ " Abby said, smiling. "I'll make the arrangements, go get your gear."

He grinned at her as she left. He picked up the map and glanced over at Penn before exiting Medical. Walking down the hallway, he focused on calming his nerves: the vehicles Raven had salvaged from their supply run to Mount Weather last week weren't his favorite things they had brought back. They were too fast, too confining, too reminiscent of the old world and how dangerous it had been. He hated them.

Ten minutes later, he waited by the black vehicle. It was the one that worked best, Raven and Mel were still trying to fix up the others; one of their many projects. He leaned against the side, his fingers fidgeting over his gun. He knew they were at peace, but he couldn't be too sure.

"Ready to go?" He turned his head to see Jasper Jordan walking toward him, gun slung over his shoulder. Kane looked him over; he seemed better, Monty had told him Jasper hadn't been drinking, that he had been talking with Abby about what he was going through, which was news to Kane. It had only been two weeks since the fall of Mount Weather and Maya's death, but Jasper looked like he was on the mend. It was progress at least.

"You're my driver? Abby must be delusional," Kane joked as he reached to open the door behind him.

"No, sir, just coming along for the ride, the Chancellor said it was okay." Jasper said, smiling. He didn't go to the driver's door, instead headed for the rear one. He looked Kane in the eye as he added in a low voice, "I have to get out of this place."

Kane nodded before asking, "Then who's…?" His voice broke off when he spotted her walking toward them, his stomach dropped. How could Abby do that to him? She knew that he hadn't gone to see her, knew that he had a good reason. He wasn't ready yet.

She wore a knit hat over her long brown hair, a leather jacket, and more makeup than he liked. When she reached him, he saw how much her eyes had changed. They were hard, all of the light that used to be there extinguished during her imprisonment, the war with the Grounders, the war with Mount Weather.

A lump rose in his throat as she stepped in front of him and looked him in the eye, a nervous smile on her face that reminded him so much of when he had met her for the first time ten years ago. He wanted to reach out and hold her, but she wasn't the same girl and he wasn't the same man.

Oblivious to the tension in the air, Jasper called out, "C'mon, we're wasting daylight. I hear we have a life to save."

Rebecca just said, "It's nice to see you, Marcus."

He didn't know why, but the _Marcus_ felt like a slap in the face to him. Maybe it was the way she said it — like she wanted the feel of it off her tongue as quick as possible — or maybe it was hearing it after four years, knowing that she had probably hated him all of that time, that did it, but he climbed into the rover, feeling like there was a weight dragging him down.

Rebecca glanced over at him as she turned the key and brought the vehicle to life. He avoided her gaze and knew that only hurt her more. He couldn't help it, he didn't know how to mend this — he had abandoned her, how could he possibly come back from that? Should he tell her how it ate him up inside, seeing her on the Ark in those years after? How he hated that she had been collateral damage in his break up with her mother; how he wished he had been able to comfort her in her suffering?

As she drove, there was the jostling of the cab to distract him from his thoughts. But when she pulled up beside the lake, they flooded back to him as he stepped out of the rover.

Jasper asked as they approached the river, "What now?"

"Now, we look for it. The water should be more red than green. It'll be by a lot of rocks," Rebecca said, leading the charge. Kane watched her, surprised by her enthusiasm, she had been such a quiet child. Maybe she was just trying to get away from him.

The seaweed was by a cluster of rocks that stuck out of the water, the water polluted red by it. Kane started toward it, but Jasper stuck out his arm to stop him. "Do you know what could be in there? I'll get it."

"I'm not risking you," Kane said, pushing him aside.

"Do you think the Chancellor would forgive us if you came back maimed?" Jasper asked, an amused look on his face. He was glad that Jasper was helping, that he had come, that he wasn't drinking himself to death. But he didn't want to let him do this. It didn't seem like he had a vote though, the boy was already at the river's edge, kicking off his shoes.

Kane watched with his arms over his chest as Jasper waded into the water. He barely noticed when Rebecca stepped up beside him. She said, "It wasn't your fault."

His head snapped to look at her. Her eyes were sad, a frown set deep on her face. He thought about reaching for her but knew that would be crossing the line. He stared at the ground as he replied, "Yes, it was — you wouldn't have been locked up; you wouldn't have been sent down here; you wouldn't have been through _any of this_ if it wasn't for me."

She shook her head. "You know that's not true. I assaulted that guard, it was my choice."

"I led you to do it though," he said, turning toward her, completely ignoring Jasper as he pulled at the seaweed in waist-deep water. "You would never have hit Shumway if I hadn't shut you out. I can't even begin—"

His voice was caught in his throat when Rebecca took his hand. He felt all of his worries slip away with the contact; he felt her forgiveness. She smiled at him and looked down at their hands. She whispered, "I just missed my dad."

His shoulders slumped and it felt like all of the air had been taken from his lungs. He blinked his eyes rapidly to keep his emotions in check; he felt like they were getting out of control lately, he normally had a tight leash on them.

"Rebecca, I—"

"No, I get it, Marcus. You and my mom didn't work," she said, shaking her head. "I don't know why I thought you would still be in my life."

"Hey guys, I got it! Where's the bag?" Jasper yelled. Kane had forgotten what they were doing, that Jasper was even there. He looked away from Rebecca, slipping his hand out of hers as he walked to Jasper, who was waddling out of the river with his arms laden with red seaweed, weighed down by soaked clothes.

"What's that about?" Jasper asked, nodding toward Rebecca, who stood with her arms wrapped around herself, watching them.

"It's a long story," Kane said, holding the bag open for Jasper. He stuffed the bag in silence. "Come on, there's a towel in the rover."

Rebecca pulled the rover up to the spot the new gate would be ten minutes later and turned off the vehicle. Jasper, with the bag of seaweed, sprinted off toward Medical, understanding that he was no longer welcome. Rebecca turned to Kane and asked, "Can we go for a walk?"

* * *

Abby was startled when the door of her quarters opened, it was late and she was readying for bed. She pulled the towel tighter around herself and was prepared to dash back into the bathroom when she saw it was only Marcus. His eyes darted around the room until he noticed her near the open bathroom door. Their eyes met and his flared up, not in anger but in passion. He crossed the room in four long strides, tossing his jacket over the back of the couch as he went.

He pinned her to the wall with his body before his lips slammed against hers, tongue parting and devouring her. He loosened her towel and sent it to the floor. Abby tugged at his shirt, he grabbed it by the collar and yanked it over his head. They stared at each other as they caught their breath.

A smirk pulled at Abby's lips as she unbuttoned his pants. "I'm guessing today went well."

"You knew it would," he accused, glaring at her as he shoved the rest of his clothes to the ground.

She glanced down and admired him as she said innocently, "I knew she would forgive you."

"We're not talking about it right now," he growled as he grabbed her thighs and hoisted her up, pressing her back against the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck. His hand cradled her jaw as he looked into her eyes; his were soft, all of the feigned-anger gone as he looked at her sincerely. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. He whispered, "But, thank you, Abby."

He pulled back a few inches so he could look at her and her hands slid up to hold his face. She didn't get to reply — he thrust into her suddenly and stifled her moan with a kiss; all she could do was hold on.

After, he took her to bed, taking it slow at first then letting her take charge. She enjoyed teasing him, driving him mad as payback for him making her nearly pass out from pleasure pinned against the wall. Only when he was on the brink of flipping them over and taking her, did she let him have what he wanted.

They lay breathless, side by side, after that second time. Abby was surprised when Kane reached out for her, pulling her toward him. She pursed her lips, fighting a smile as she slid into his embrace. His arms wrapped around her and he kissed her forehead before laying back on the pillow.

This was how she knew he was comfortable around her, he opened up like this, he showed his softer side. She knew she was one of the few who saw _this_ Marcus Kane. And she felt honored. To be curled up beside him was a privilege because he didn't let people in easily.

She grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together as she looked up at him. His eyes were closed, but she knew he wasn't sleeping, that his mind was still racing from today. She ran her thumb over the back of his hand as she whispered, "Do you want to tell me why it took you so long after Jasper brought me the antibiotics to come here?"

His mouth twitched and his eyes remained closed as he answered, "Rebecca wanted to talk."

"And…?"

"She called me her dad, Abby." He whispered, his voice nothing more than a breath. He seemed so fragile as he said it, she placed her hand on his chest, keeping her other laced with his.

"You are her dad, Marcus," she said gently. "Not technically, but you helped raise that girl. You deserve her love."

"Why are you so understanding?" He chuckled, but it didn't sound right. It sounded hollow, like he didn't believe her.

"Because I know you. I've seen you care for other kids before. I've seen it with Bellamy, with Octavia, Monty. With Clarke," she smiled as his eyes flashed open. "They're not your kids, but you treat them that way. Your heart's too big, Marcus. You care too much."

He let out a breathy laugh. "If you had told me a year ago that you would say that, I would have floated you."

"If you told me a year ago I'd be in love with you, I'd have floated you."

He grinned. "You didn't have the power to float people, Abby."

"Maybe not, but I wasn't above breaking the law. You would have found yourself in that airlock, Marcus," she had an evil glint in her eye and he believed her.

He smiled, giving in. "We've come a long way, haven't we?"

But his smile faltered and she knew he was thinking about all of the things he had done. She wasn't about to lose him to his memories again.

She leaned up and placed her hand on his cheek. "Hey, that's in the past, okay? You thought what you were doing was the right thing. That's what everyone does, they act on what they think is right. I can't be mad at you for that. People change, Marcus."

He smiled — relieving her to have him back — and pulled her against him again, his arms wrapped tightly around her. "You know, I said that to Gwen and she wanted to know who pulled the stick out of my ass."

Abby leaned up and, with the straightest face, said, "What a bitch."


	15. Laudnes-de Kom Fotaim

_"We can't keep this up…and hope to survive."_ \- Marcus Kane, "Reapercussions"

* * *

"Give this to Indra, tell her three clicks if she wants to meet, but only on the secure channel. I won't have everyone on the network knowing that I'm going off to meet her; the whole camp isn't onboard with this peace."

They were in Medical, Penn's wounds had healed for the most part and Abby, Kane, and him had decided that it was best that he leave camp, for his safety. There had been threats by Mike Bogdanovic — now in the stockade — and a few others in the two days since Penn had been attacked. They weren't going to risk Penn's life so he could be Indra's emissary, not when there was an easier way.

Penn was looking at Kane like he had grown a second head. He held out the radio to the Grounder who just stared at it. Finally, Penn said, " _Em na nou teik disha_."

"See that she does," Kane replied, thrusting the radio into his hands. Indra had to understand that this was the only way that they could communicate; she _had_ to take it.

Over his shoulder, Kane called, "Monty." The boy had been standing by the door and rushed over. Kane looked at Penn and said, "He'll teach you how to use it."

Kane wasn't one for goodbyes so he turned to leave but Penn's hand caught his arm. Kane looked down at it and turned back to the man, grasping his forearm in what he had grown accustomed to as the Grounder handshake. Penn released him and reached for his bag. Instead of picking it up to leave, he untied it and pulled out a worn leather journal. The covers were pliable and the pages looked stained with blood. Penn held it out to him. Tentatively, he took it.

Kane opened the cover and saw sentences covering the first page, written in a neat script: _Ai laik heda kom Skaikru - I'm the leader of the Sky People; Ai nou lufa sich au - I don't want trouble._ Even the Sky People saying was written on the bottom of page 1, _Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim - May we meet again._

 _"Gon granplei,"_ Penn said. Kane smiled — he would need the practice without Penn here to teach him.

Kane said, " _Mochof, Pen. Ai—"_

His sentiments were cut off as a dozen of the kids rushed in, some carrying others. They were the ones who had been at Mount Weather on a supply run, led by Mark Black, one of the chemists of the group. Jasper should have led them but Kane understood that he wasn't ready to go back to the Mountain. Mark was carried in by Jeff Trebenski, both boys covered in burns but it looked like Mark had the worst of it.

"What the hell happened?" Kane shouted, rushing to Rebecca's side as she was set on a cot by Troy Gibbons. She had burns on her arms, holes in her clothes where something had eaten away at the fabric. Troy hurried off to bring in others.

"Mark caused an explosion!" She spat, glaring at the boy in the cot next to her.

"I did not!" He yelled

Abby ran into the room with Jackson at her heels as Kath Colonna half-carried in Amanda Wowryk. Kath's grip on her slipped and she tumbled to the ground, Kane rushed to help her. He scooped her up and laid her down on the cot, she almost thanked him before she saw who it was. She lashed out at him, punching him in the shoulder, the jaw, anywhere she could reach. She shouted, "Get away from me!"

"I'm just trying to help," he offered, but Amanda snarled, "Go float yourself, Kane!"

His eyes widened as he took a step back and felt a hand on his arm. He turned and saw that it was Abby. She whispered, "Maybe you shouldn't be here."

And that stung more than his jaw did.

* * *

The burns were horrible. Abby and Jackson had started with the worst cases, Mark Black and Mischa Rosen, who had been at the epicenter of the explosion. As the story went, Mark had knocked over a sealed contained in one the science labs they were raiding for his and Jasper's chemistry workshop. Once the container broke open and the substance hit air, there was no stopping the explosion. It went everywhere and everyone in the room was effected.

They had nine patients: Gina, Rebecca, Mark, Mischa, Amanda, Jeff, Brenda Turner, Guy Henriksen, and Robert Stanhope. Thankfully, Kath Colonna and Troy Gibbons hadn't been in the room at the time of the explosion and had offered to assist the doctors.

They weren't bad, Kath and Troy; they washed the wounds, applied the red seaweed as poultices over the burns to prevent infection, secured them with loose bandages. It was all any of them could do, they just didn't have the proper medicine. Abby vowed to go to Mount Weather herself to raid the facility.

Abby worked on Mark Black for what seemed like hours, he was covered from head to toe in burns. She cut away his clothing, cleaned out each burn, scraped away the dead flesh, carefully applied each poultice, listened to him cry out in pain. As it turned out, it had only been half an hour. It was just before dinner time when the four of them finished with the patients. They discharged everyone except Mark and Mischa, who needed to stay for observation.

Jackson put his hand on her arm, saying, "I'll keep watch over them. You go, you look like you could use some sleep."

She didn't argue with him, but she wouldn't be sleeping, not until much later. She had to raise some issues with the Council. She took her tablet from the table in the corner and left Medical, sending a message to the councillors as she went. She knew at least Miller would get the message and bring the rest.

Fifteen minutes later, she was in the Council chamber and they started filing in. Bennett came first, confusion written on his face, annoyance present too at being ripped away from whatever project he had been working on. But he gave her a friendly smile as he sat down. Gwen and Abbot came in together, both covered in dirt and still trying to dust themselves off. Sinclair wandered in just before David Miller.

Abby looked toward the door expectantly and felt five pairs of eyes on her. She sighed and turned to the others at the table. "Does anyone know where Marcus is?"

Gwen Lee had a smug smirk on her face that seemed to say, _he never went missing on my watch_. She pitied Gwen for ever thinking that Marcus Kane could be controlled. She pushed the thought out of her head as she looked around the table at the others.

"He came into Engineering and stole Reyes, said something about a mission," Sinclair offered.

"He took Blake from training too," Miller added.

"And the other Blake from the stables," Abbot said.

She nodded to herself, a little upset that he wasn't here for the impromptu meeting, she could have used another ally. "We can carry on without him. I wanted your opinion on incorporating the kids into your departments."

"You mean the juvenile delinquents?" Bennett asked, an eyebrow cocking toward his hairline.

"The _pardoned_ delinquents, yes," Abby replied, nodding. "Whatever crime they committed on the Ark have been forgiven. They should be productive members of our society, with trades like the rest of us."

"Some of them are murderers," Abbot said harshly.

"Some of us are too," Sinclair said bluntly. Abby didn't think he was speaking for himself, but she would never ask. It wasn't something anyone talked about, not after the war, not unless it was information volunteered.

Abbot didn't reply, just sat back with his arms folded. Gwen whispered something to him before turning back to Abby.

"So, what are you asking, Chancellor?" Gwen asked, leaning her elbows on the table.

"Would you be willing to take on trainees? We need the next generation to be properly equipped to pick up the slack; we've lost so many people, we have to make up for it somewhere." Abby explained, staring across the table at her though she spoke to everyone.

Sinclair was the first to speak up, "Do we get to pick? There can't get any duds in Engineering, you either have it or you don't."

"I suppose," she said. "You can pull up their files on your tablets—"

"We're choosing right now?" Gwen asked.

"Do you have somewhere better to be?" Abby asked cooly.

She could tell that Gwen was fighting a snarky reply. She was civil as she said, "Of course not, Chancellor."

Abby smiled at Gwen and told all of them, "You can have anyone except Kath Colonna and Troy Gibbons, they're reserved for Medical."

"That seems unfair, you've already picked yours." Abbot said, rather childishly.

"If you saw what they did today after the explosion at Mount Weather, you wouldn't try to take them from me," she said dryly.

David Miller said, "Do you mind if I leave, Abby? Kane's already assigned me new cadets."

She let him though she liked having him there. Without him, Sinclair was the only friendly face. Bennett, Abbot, and Gwen seemed so unfamiliar to her. She knew why she wouldn't get along with Gwen, though she would be as civil as possible. Abbot was…confusing. He seemed out for himself, which wasn't ideal for a councillor. She felt like she couldn't trust her, all he had done was question her so far in the few meetings they had had. She didn't particularly like him.

And Bennett. She had always like Bennett Albright, had known him well when he had worked under Jake. He had been at their home many times, sharing drinks with Jake, talking about reports and work. After Jake's death, he had shown up to offer his condolences. Now, he had Jake's job and had changed, grown more arrogant as the title went to his head.

Sinclair's voice broke through her thoughts, "It's slim pickings. I sent you mine. I have to get back."

She felt abandoned as she stared across the table at the other three. Abbot and Bennett were in charge of several departments like Sinclair and their eyebrows were knit together are they scrolled through the list. Gwen seemed to be done and she stared across the table at Abby, who fought her hardest not to sigh.

Abby glanced down at her tablet and looked over the list Sinclair had sent her, he had only picked one for each of his departments. She figured it was better than nothing. She pulled up the list Gwen had sent her and was surprised to find it blank. She looked up at her and met a smirk.

"Care to explain this?" Abby asked.

Gwen nodded. "We have four teachers currently and only twenty-one children made it to the ground. We are more than equipped to handle them. You tell me when people start getting those contraceptive implants removed then maybe I'll think about training someone, but by the time their kids are old enough, the kids we're teaching now will be ready to take over."

Abby didn't want to smile, but it came out anyway. "You've put thought into this."

"I have," she nodded, pushing herself up from the table as the men finished. Abby stood too, picking up her table as she followed the others out of the room. She was ready to head for the mess hall for a quick meal then her quarters to sleep until she couldn't anymore.

Bennett fell into stride beside her. "Abby, could I have a quick word about solar panels?" There was no such thing as a quick word with Bennett Albright, this would take hours.

* * *

He was physically and mentally drained and just wanted to fall into bed and never wake up again. He entered the code to his quarters and the door slid open to reveal Abby Griffin laying on his couch, a book in her hands. The rope that had been pulling him toward his bed severed in an instant when she looked up at him, a peculiar look on her face. _What's she up to?_

"What are you doing here?" He asked, walking over to her. He noticed her hands were empty, no book in sight. His eyes narrowed suspiciously as he lifted her legs and sat down, laying them over his lap.

"After today, my quarters felt so empty," she said, her eyes following his hand as it ran along one of her legs. "I was hoping you would be here, but you weren't."

"Sorry," he chuckled lightly. "Long day."

"Where'd you go?" She asked, her head turning to the side, staring at him skeptically.

"You mean after you kicked me out of Medical?" There was no humor on his face as he looked at her, his jaw set. She gave him a small nod, not backing down from the challenge. He said, "I took a group to map an area south of here. We haven't explored that area yet."

"Why?"

"Because I had to get out of here." He didn't raise his voice, but he was upset. Upset that she had turned him away when he had just wanted to help. Upset that some of the Arkers were against the Grounders still, he knew that would be a problem sooner rather than later. He sighed, "I feel like there's a war against me at this damn camp and I can't win."

"What are you talking about, Marcus?" She asked gently, swinging her legs off of him and scooting closer. He wouldn't look at her, he didn't want to. Her eyes would be full of questions, ones he refused to answer. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the back of the couch.

She didn't understand it, she never had. She was Abby Griffin, with her own problems and her own life. She was always right, even when it didn't seem like it at the time. And when she made a bad decision — which was rare — it didn't come back to bite her in the ass because people respected her. It was exactly the opposite with him and she still didn't comprehend that, he wondered if she ever would.

He felt her weight settle on his lap as she straddled his thighs. His skin turned to flame when she touched his face; she had that affect on him. Her thumbs brushed over his cheeks as the rest of her fingers hooked under his ears. Her lips touched his softly and for the briefest moment, he wondered if they had been there at all.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. The questions weren't in her eyes, all he saw was acceptance. She whispered, keeping his gaze, "It may feel like everyone's against you when it's really a few. Sure, there's Gwen, there's Amanda, but that's it—"

He shook his head, cutting her off. "There's so many more, Abby. There's Guy, there's Masayo, Mike, others who I don't even know their names but who've glared at me or said terrible things as they've passed me. They blame me for locking them up or for floating their parents. And those are just the kids, you don't know how many of the adults still hate me. I can't hide from my past anymore, Abby."

"Hey," she said, running her thumbs over his cheekbones. His eyes slowly rose to meet hers. "You didn't do any of that alone. Those are all Council decisions. They can't blame you alone."

"But they do, because I'm _me._ I'm the asshole who killed 320 people when I didn't have to. I'm the asshole who tried to float the woman I admired and had feelings for because I was following the law that made no fucking sense! I'm the asshole who gave up on those kids so many times, who didn't believe in them for one second until you convinced me to." He started to shake his head, but Abby gripped his face harder, stilling him.

She planted a kiss on his cheek, her lips lingering before she said, her forehead resting against his, "Marcus, you can't live your life haunted by the past and I won't let you." She pulled away from him and climbed off his lap. "Get up."

His brows furrowed. "What are you doing, Abby?"

She looked at him as she walked around the couch and rummaged in one of the cabinets along the far wall. He was startled by the invasion of privacy, but after a moment, found that he didn't care. He stood up and walked over to her as she pulled out a battered chessboard.

She said, "I know this always made you happy." He smiled as she turned to hand it to him. The feeling of the board in his hand again was welcomed, he could feel each scratch from the many years of playing the game with his mother. Abby reached back into the cupboard and grabbed the box of pieces before she sat down on the floor.

"This is where we're playing?" He asked, raising his eyebrows, amusement written on every inch of his face.

"Yes," she said, opening the box to reveal the roughly cut metal pieces. He smirked as he sat down opposite her on the floor.

He set the board down and reached for his pieces, starting to set them up. She did the same. It felt so natural, playing chess with her sitting on the floor in his living room.

"So we're not going to talk about how you had feelings for me when you tried to float me?" She asked, a sly grin on her face as she moved her rook to take one of his pawns.

" _Abby_ ," he warned as he payed her back, taking that rook with his knight. She smirked and the game went on.

It was down to his king, knight, and bishop, and her king, queen, and pawn. He shot a glare at her as she took out his bishop with her pawn. She said, "I thought you were good at this, Kane."

"And I thought you weren't someone who gloated, Griffin," he said, his knight taking her queen.

Her mouth dropped in feigned hurt for a moment as she watched him pluck her queen from the table, his eyes on hers. She scoffed, "You _are_ an ass."

He grinned. "Your move."

In four moves, he had her king pinned and Abby just shook her head at him, a scowl on her face. She said, "I wouldn't have played if I had known you would win."

He laughed. "I never thought you would be a sore loser, Abby."

She glared at him and slid the board across the floor, leaning forward to kiss him. She smiled against his lips, "I'm not."

He pulled away, "I know. Come on, clean this up, I'm tired."

She rolled her eyes and started picking up the pieces.

"By the way, what was that book you were reading earlier?" She turned to him, a blush on her face. He stood and leaned over the couch, sliding his hand between the cushions. He heard her feet on the floor, felt her hands on him, pulling him away. But he found the leather book buried in the cushions and pulled it out.

He held it up and stared at the pliable leather covers, the blood stained pages. He turned to look at her. "Were you reading the translation book Penn gave me? Are you trying to learn Trigedasleng?"

She blushed and wouldn't look at him. He tossed the book on the coffee table and scooped her into his arms, carrying her toward the bedroom.


	16. Hunted

_"Everything's going to be okay."_ \- Marcus Kane, "The 48"

* * *

 _"Ai laik heda Abi kom Skaikru,"_ Abby said tentatively, the language sounding so feign on her tongue. Kane tried not to cringe as she butchered the simple sentence.

"Try it again, _Ai laik heda Abi kom Skaikru._ " He said it slowly, really enunciating each word for her. Abby repeated the saying and improved, but only a little; he finally found something she wasn't good at. But she had to be if she was their leader and they were going to keep this peace with the Grounders; they had to speak their language. He gave her a new saying to try: _Ai souda fis em op — I should heal her —_ he thought it was fitting for what they were going to do.

"That's not annoying at all," Raven called in a singsong voice from the stretcher near them.

"Oh, shut up," Kane said, glancing over at her. "It's your fault you're here."

Raven Reyes was the whole reason they were heading to Mount Weather in the first place. She had fallen that morning in Engineering, fracturing her already injured hip and passing out from the pain. Of course, if she had followed Kane's advice and gone to Abby two weeks ago, she could have avoided the unnecessary pain caused by the fall. He hadn't the heart to bar her from her job, it was the only thing that kept her going. Even Wick couldn't persuade her to put herself first. Now, her hip was cracked and surgery was needed to fix it. Although the idea of surgery had already been on the table, it was absolutely necessary now, and Abby would do something to try to manage the pain longterm.

"And whose bright idea was it to take me back to the place I injured myself originally?" Raven asked. "Isn't there emotional trauma at risk?"

"Technically you messed your hip up at the dam, Wrench Monkey," Wick said from the driver's seat as they bumped along the road.

"And if you don't want the advanced medical equipment — _the sedatives_ — that Mount Weather has to offer, we can turn around right now," Abby said, shooting Raven a look she promptly ignored.

Abby's trainee, Troy Gibbons, sat silently in the passenger's seat, just listening. She knew he felt like an outcast in their group, though he at least knew Raven a little. She would much rather have brought Jackson to assist, but the kids — led by Bellamy Blake — were out on a scouting mission and she wanted Jackson there in case something went awry. Kane clutched the radio in his hand, ready for any information Bellamy had.

Abby reached over and touched her hand to his. "They'll be okay."

"They're nearing the Ice Nation border," he whispered. "Azgeda has never been the friendliest."

"Bellamy knows to be careful."

"It's not Bellamy I'm worried about," Kane muttered.

Though Jasper was improving, he was still unstable. He was meeting with Abby three times a week, she was acting as a therapist for him. Her only qualifications were that she, too, had lost a loved one, but that was under very different circumstances. He would be better off talking to Raven, who had lost Finn recently as a result of the war. But Raven had her own issues.

The rover pulled up in the small meadow next to the entrance door to Mount Weather, Wick cut the engine. He and Troy hopped out and walked around to open the back doors. Kane gripped the head of Raven's stretcher and Wick grabbed the foot, together, they carried her out of the rover and across the meadow. Abby had already reached the door and was opening it with Troy's help.

Once inside, they went straight down the elevator to Level 3. Kane and Wick carried Raven between them down the hallway to the medical ward where they would be doing the operation in the room beyond it.

Raven snapped, "A little steadier, boys!"

They all knew she was just nervous about the surgery, she had been snippy all day and none of them had let it get to them. She would be back to normal as soon as she was in recovery — at least they hoped. None of them liked seeing her like this.

Abby looked at Troy as they entered the ward and asked, "Are you ready for this?"

With surprising confidence, the boy answered, "Yes, probably more than she is."

"I heard that!" Raven yelled as Kane and Wick led her through another door into the operating room. They transferred her from the stretcher to the table.

"Give the boy a break, it's his first operation." Wick said, trying to calm her nerves the only way he knew how — by joking.

She shot a glare at him. "Not helping, Wick!"

He ran his hand through her hair affectionately. "You'll be fine, Raven, stop freaking out."

"Get out, Wick." She snapped. He smirked as he leaned down to kiss her sweaty forehead.

"Good luck."

Kane stood by the table still, looking utterly hopeless as he watched Troy and Abby move around the room, bringing over the machines and medicine they would need. Abby looked over at him, a small smile on her face.

"Oh, go with Wick. You're no help here, Marcus."

* * *

"So what the hell are we supposed to be doing?" Wick asked as they walked down the hallway on Level 1. Kane had only motioned for Wick to follow him and led him up the elevator and down a different hallway than the one they had come in near.

"We're checking out the warehouse, Wick. It's winter, don't you think we should find something that'll help us?" Kane said as they approached the massive door that held back the labyrinth that was the Level 1 warehouse.

"You know, sometimes I think you're a complete idiot," Wick said as Kane opened the door to the warehouse. "This is not one of those times."

Kane smirked as he took a step into the massive room. Shelves reached to the ceiling, lined with a plethora of objects: paintings, old toys, sheets of music, instruments, books, lamps, paints, etc. Crates were everywhere; Kane pried one open and found nothing but worn books, some with unreadable spines.

"Could burn them," Wick suggested. Kane just looked at him. "Yeah, I know. I would never actually do it. Their knowledge is too valuable."

"Did the Wallaces hoard art or something?" Kane asked as they walked further into the warehouse.

"Looks like it," Wick replied, picking up a small painting of a gloomy landscape. He looked at Kane and asked, "Can I have this?"

Kane shrugged. "I don't see why not."

"I think Raven will like it," he said, a grin pulling at the corner of his lips. He looked around the vast room, "What other stuff can I steal?"

" _Hey_ , we are not stealing. These things belonged to people. We're reusing what we can because they no longer have need of it," Kane said, staring at him hard.

"Is there really a difference?" He asked, raising his eyebrows as he tucked the painting under his arm. "Besides, they tortured our people, our girlfriends. Do they really deserve the distinction?"

"Once we start forgetting our humanity, we lose the right to live."

" _O-_ kay, preacher," Wick said, walking off into the warehouse.

"Remember, winter supplies, Wick!" Wick thrust his fist into the air in answer.

It was over half an hour before Kane found anything worth taking: a crate full of blankets. It wasn't much, but it was something. Some of them were worn, had holes, but they were old so he wasn't going to be picky about their condition. He pried open the surrounding crates and found the same, crouching next to them to see how many they would have.

 _"Kane?"_ Bellamy's voice crackled to life over the radio. It echoed through the otherwise silent warehouse and Kane looked around for Wick; he came running from a few rows over. Neither of them had actually expected any of the kids to radio in. _"Kane, we've got a problem. Please, come in!"_

The desperation in his voice filled the room and Kane's felt sweat erupt on his forehead. His thumb slammed against the button and he answered, "I'm here, Bellamy. What is it?"

" _Ice Nation, sir,_ " Bellamy said, his voice a hush like he was forced to whisper. " _They're searching for Clarke, they're calling her 'Wanheda.'"_

"How do you know?"

Octavia's voice joined the mix. " _How do you think, Kane?"_ She sounded so insulted. Of course she could understand them, how could he have doubted her?

"What are they saying?" He asked, his voice a whisper too, though he knew it didn't really matter. Wick was staring at the radio as if he, too, could see the Ice Nation warriors.

" _They're talking about capturing her, killing her,"_ Bellamy rushed. _"Kane, what do we do? Do we kill them?"_

"No, they'll know we were there. I don't know if we're supposed to be that close to their territory," he said, scratching his beard as he thought. "Did they say where Clarke was?"

 _"No, sir,"_ Bellamy replied.

"Then there's nothing we can do for her right now," Kane said. He knew Bellamy was about to argue, knew that he loved Clarke and would do anything to find her. "But Octavia can follow them; she speaks the language, she's quick, she can handle herself. If she's up to it."

He heard her scoff into the radio. _"If I'm up to it…Come on, Kane. I'm on it."_

 _"And what are we supposed to do in the meantime?"_ Bellamy asked, his voice desperate.

"Continue the mission, son. That's all you can do," Kane said. "Give Octavia the spare radio and send her on her way."

 _"Got it,"_ came Octavia's voice over the radio. But Bellamy said, _"Kane, I can't just sit idly by and—"_

"You can and you will. Now keep mapping and we'll talk when you get back, Bellamy." Kane said, sighing as he leaned his head down against the radio.

"He doesn't sound okay," Wick commented, watching him.

"Thanks for the obvious, Wick," Kane said, pushing himself to his feet and securing the radio to one of his belt loops.

"Where are you going?" Wick called, getting clumsily to his feet in a hurry as Kane started toward the door.

Kane turned back to him and said, "To meet with someone. If Abby asks where I am, tell her I'm somewhere else in the bunker, some other warehouse."

"Lying to Abby already?" Wick asked, raising an eyebrow as his arms crossed over his chest. "You know that's not a good sign for—"

"This isn't some joke, Wick!" Kane snapped. "I'm not worrying Abby until it's absolutely necessary. You can make your damn jokes but don't you dare do them in front of her, especially when they concern her daughter! Search the warehouse and don't say a word to Abby about where I've gone."

He turned on his heel and marched out of the room, confident that Wick would help him lie to Abby.

* * *

Rebecca had taught him to drive the rover a few days ago, he still didn't like it but at least he was confident that he wouldn't crash it. Steering, shifting, stopping — it really wasn't that hard, was it? It was the jostling of the cab that got him every time though, it messed with his stomach and deepened his dislike for the damn vehicle.

He cut the engine when he arrived at their rendezvous point 20 miles west of Tondc, thankful that he didn't have to go all the way to the Grounder village. Climbing out of the cab, he spotted Indra on the edge of the clearing. He approached her and she clasped his forearm when he was near enough.

"What is this about, Kane?" She asked, leading him through the trees. Her horse were tied up in the distance but it didn't look like she had a camp set up, nor anyone else with her. He had bigger worries than to contemplate why she were this far from her village.

Sitting at a ring of logs, he said, "Wanheda."

Indra nodded. "Yes, I've heard what Azgeda's doing."

"Why's it happening?" He asked, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees.

"The Ice Queen has placed a bounty on her. Wanheda means the 'commander of death.'" Indra explained, sitting across from him. "My people believe when you kill someone, their power becomes yours. Clarke has killed so many. If you kill Wanheda, you command death."

Kane shook his head to himself. "No, she's just one girl. They can't possibly believe she could hold that much power."

"They can and they do. Their queen wants her power; Lexa is weakened by her affection for Clarke and Queen Nia knows that." Indra said, staring at him hard. "She's willing to break the coalition and start a war to see that she gets Wanheda's power. Her army gets closer to Trikru territory, if they cross, they'll have war."

"And what can we do to stop it?" He asked, feeling a chill on his skin that he knew had nothing to do with the cold air.

"Find Clarke before Ice Nation does," Indra replied immediately. "There's nothing else we can do. We cannot act against Azgeda until they cross the border and by then, we'll have the war we are trying to avoid."

He nodded. "I'll send out search parties, we'll find her."

"It won't be that simple, I fear," she said, shaking her head. "Clarke's smart, if she doesn't want to be found, she won't be."

"She deserves the chance to forgive herself for what she's done because, right now, she's only hurting herself further," Kane commented as he stood up. Indra nodded and followed him back to his rover.

"Will you tell the Chancellor?" Indra asked as he climbed into the cab.

He considered it for a moment, but it was a long moment. He knew he shouldn't have thought about keeping it from Abby, she had every right to know. But it was going to hurt her. He said simply, "It's treason if I don't."

Abby was waiting for him in the clearing when he pulled up to Mount Weather, her arms crossed over her chest and a deep scowl on her face. He had only been gone a few hours, she should still be in surgery.

"Dammit, Wick," he muttered as he stepped out of the rover.

 _"Checking other warehouses?"_ She called, an eyebrow shooting toward her hairline. "Do you think I'm that naive?"

"I assumed you would be in surgery a while longer."

"That's no excuse, Marcus," she said, glaring at him. "And Wick said you left at three, it's six."

"Is it?" He asked, turning his head toward the sky. The sun had disappeared and twilight had taken over. He thought he had been gone an hour, hour and a half, certainly not three. He figured it had to do with his fear of driving too fast.

"Where'd you go that was so urgent?" It wasn't just anger on her face, there was worry there too.

He took a step toward her and placed his hand on her arm, feeling her tension roll off her skin at his touch. "It's about Clarke." He watched for a moment as hope crossed her face; he squeezed her arm as a warning and her face fell. "The Ice Nation is hunting her, Abby."

It was slow at first, a twitch of a face muscle. Then it was the slumping of the shoulders, the involuntary trembling, and finally the tears. Kane opened his arms for her and she sank against his chest. His arms closed around her, enveloping her and giving her the sense of security and familiarity that she desperately needed. He kissed her forehead and whispered, "We'll find her, Abby."


	17. Raising Spirits

_"Leaders do what they think is right"_ \- Bellamy Blake, "We Are Grounders (Part 2)"

* * *

"So you think this will actually help?" Wick asked, lugging a box down the hallway. The kids ran by them, eager to get started. The five men stopped to let them pass.

Kane nodded at the passing children, "I think it already has."

"And what about the adults?" Bennett asked as they continued toward the door. "There're only 21 children, don't we need something?"

"You don't think we'll get in the spirit, too?" Sinclair asked. "Aren't you a cynic."

"This was banned for a reason," Bennett said.

"It wasn't banned, we just didn't celebrate it on the Ark. We didn't have the resources," Kane said as their group exited Alpha Station, the cold air hitting them full in the face.

"And we do now?" Bennett asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Hey, you voted for this," Kane reminded him.

A month of search parties had gotten them nowhere, Clarke didn't want to be found. December wasted away as did most of their spirits. The only good thing that came from the month was the fact that Bennett and Sinclair had placed solar panels all over camp, giving them consistent power everywhere; that, and all of the things they had managed to bring back from Mount Weather, including much needed medical supplies and machines.

The first winter on the ground was proving to dampen everyone's moods, which led the Council's decision of reviving the antiquated tradition known as Christmas — apparently it was Christmas Eve. The men had found whatever they could to light the tree with and had the kids scrounge up decorations, now in the boxes they carried.

The children, as well as about half of camp, were waiting by the tree rooted next to the patio and fire pit. Kane fought hard not to look at Bennett and was surprised when Bellamy said, "Would you look at that, Ben. What were you saying about the adults?"

"Shut up, Bellamy," Bennett said, stalking off with his box of lights.

They walked over to the tree and Kane looked around, finding the faces of many in his guard — Scanlan, Banks, Costa, Helm — with their children Micah, Domhnall, Cara, and Parish (respectively). Gwen, Abbott, Rebecca, and Gina sat at the fire pit, watching the commotion. Sinclair set down his box and went to his wife, asking if she wanted to help set the lights; apparently he had been speaking for himself when he said the adults would get into the spirit too.

"Mr. Kane, can I have your box?" It was Reese Lemkin — still blind in one eye, but he noticed that she had finally started wearing a barrette in her hair so she could see out of the other. Seeing her around Arkadia was always bittersweet. She reminded him of her father's sacrifice in the Culling. Tor was his name, he had been the first to volunteer. But she was also a constant reminder of why they had done it, to buy them time so they could make it to the ground, so she could be here today.

He nodded, setting the box down for her. She dug through it, clearly in search of something. He stepped back to give the others space, letting them have free rein over decorating.

" _Mr. Kane_ , it sounds so strange." He glanced to his right and found Abby standing next to him, he hadn't heard her approach over the noise.

He smiled. "I was respectable once."

"I know you weren't," she said, looking forward again at the tree. The kids and their parents were decorating it in a frenzy, trying to put their own mark on the revived holiday. "This was a good idea."

"Thanks," he said, watching as more people joined in.

"You always know what to do," her voice was quiet, it seemed so far away. "You should be chancellor, Marcus."

He was surprised he didn't crack his neck given the speed his head turned to look at her. She was staring up at him, the corners of her eyes tight to keep some unidentifiable emotion in. He said, "Abby, if—"

She shook her head, silencing him. "I can't do it anymore, doing both jobs is wearing me out and I'm not even good at one of them." A sad smile crossed her face. "I'm stepping down at the next Council meeting, there will be an election. But I don't really see anyone running against you."

* * *

They walked toward Kane's quarters, the smell of the fire still on their skin. A whole group of them had sat around the pit, listening to whatever Christmas stories they had managed to find at Mount Weather — Abby had particularly liked _A Christmas Carol_ , which Sinclair had read.

As Kane punched in the code on the keypad outside of his quarters, Abby commented, "Did you see Bellamy and Gina? How long has that been going on?"

"I didn't take you for a gossip, Abby," he said, she could hear the smile in his voice. The door slid open and they walked through. Kane slipped his guard jacket off and tossed it over the back of the couch on the way to the bedroom.

"Aren't we supposed to stay up or something?"

He laughed, "I think a fat man's supposed to come give us presents, as if that were believable. I'll be going to bed."

She gave him a look.

"I read up on it, for the kids. They wanted to know," he said with a shrug.

"See, you're suited to be chancellor." She said, slipping her jacket off and leaving it in the small living room before following him into the bedroom.

"I'm really not, Abby," he said as he unbuttoned his pants and let them fall to the floor. He stepped out of them and walked to the bed, sliding under the covers. "I was Chancellor for three days."

"Before you left on a _peace mission_ , I should have given you the pin back. And you've been on the Council for, what, ten years?" She asked, shimmying her jeans down her hips. "What happened to the Marcus Kane who was adamant about—"

"He was willing to let one friend die and float the doctor trying to save his predecessor so he could get the title. Why would anyone want _him_ to lead them?" He turned over, his back to her.

Abby sighed, it had been a stupid thing to say. She crossed the room and laid down next to him, rolling onto her side so she could look at him. Even through his shirt, she could see that his back muscles were tense from agitation. She reached out and slipped her hand under the hem of his shirt, pushing her fingers up his back, over his muscles. She felt the tension uncoil bit by bit as her hand worked along his skin.

"Marcus, I'm stepping down regardless of what you say. I can't keep doing this to myself." She said, working on a knot near his shoulder. "I'd feel much better if I knew I was leaving Arkadia in capable hands."

"I still think your hands are more than capable," he whispered in the dark.

A laugh tumbled out with her breath. "Our people need someone who can give more than I can. I have my hands full with Medical. You've already been doing everything for camp, you just don't know it."

"No, I know it," he said, a smile in his voice. "You've been checking out for a while, Abby."

She pulled her hand out from under his shirt and he rolled onto his back, looking up at her in the dark. "Then why are you being so difficult?"

"I like not being in charge," he said, smiling. "If you want me to have the job, you'll have to convince me."

Abby's hand snaked down toward his underwear, but his shot to stop her.

" _No,_ you're not convincing me _that_ way," he snapped. Although _all_ of him wasn't objecting to it, she retracted her hand and put it on his stomach instead.

"Fine," she said with a sigh. She propped herself up with her other hand, placing it under her head. "Our people need you, Marcus. Who else is going to lead us? No one has the experience, no one has the strength. The closest is Bellamy and he only led the delinquents, who a lot of people still don't trust. He shot Thelonious—"

"You know why he did that, Abby. Thelonious pardoned Bellamy himself," Kane whispered.

"I know, that's not the point. He's the only one with leadership unless you look at Station Representatives, and what have they done since we came to Earth?" Abby asked, her hand drifting to his cheek, her thumb stroking the skin it found there. "You've done the most for our people. You're the only person I want to follow."

He stared at her for a few moments before leaning into the palm of her hand. "I just wanted to hear you say something nice about me."

"I'll take it all back," she said, rolling away from him. He grabbed her hip and pulled her back to him.

"No, you won't," he said, a smirk on his face.

"Will you at least run?" She asked, leaning against him, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Yes," he replied, his hand drawing light circles on her back. "Now, I wouldn't object to what you were going to do earlier."

Abby's lips pursed, fighting a laugh, as her hand slid down his body again.

* * *

 _The punch came out of nowhere and Cuyler Ridley kept attacking once he was down. Soon everyone on B-Deck was kicking at him, all he could do was curl up in the fetal position and accept it. He could hear his mother shouting for them to stop, but he almost didn't want them to. He deserved it, he knew that. Their loved ones had died on this very floor the night before, why shouldn't he? He could hear shouts calling for his death too; he lay on the floor, awaiting it —_

"Marcus, Marcus!"

His eyes flashed open and found Abby staring at him, concerned, her hands on his face. His shirt was soaked through with sweat, but Abby didn't care, she pressed herself against him, trying to stop his shivering. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths.

"Are you okay?" She asked, hooking her hands behind his ears, cradling his head in her hands.

His eyes opened slowly and he nodded at her. "I think it was seeing Reese yesterday…"

"The Culling?" He nodded again, almost ashamed. She leaned down and pressed her lips to his firmly. Pulling back, she rest her forehead against his, "You're not the same man, you know that."

He nodded, but it was a stiff movement. "Did you know it was three months ago as of yesterday?"

She pulled away to look at him properly. "You have to stop beating yourself up about it."

"But what if that's the leader I am?" He asked, curling his arm around her waist. "We only had volunteers because of you."

"I'll always be here to help, Marcus. I'm not going anywhere."

He nodded several times, quick movements, more so as a confirmation for himself than her. Abby lay her head against his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him. He didn't know why, but she made him feel safe. She was the only one he trusted with his worries, the only one he would willingly confide in. And he was never going to let that go.

He kissed the top of her head and said, "I have something for you." He reached over and pulled open the drawer of the bedside table.

"I thought we weren't supposed to pick anything out until later today?" She asked, sitting up a little.

"The perk of raiding Mount Weather is being able to find something before anyone else is technically allowed to," he said, smiling as his hand found the object. "No peeking." She shut her eyes and he pulled the book out of the drawer. He took her hand and placed the book in her palm. "It took me forever to find a version that wasn't tattered."

She opened her eyes and found a handsome copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ there. She smiled as she ran her hand over the ornate design on the spine.

"I remember you reading it before Council meetings," he said, almost shyly. She leaned over and kissed him before pulling away.

"Well, it would seem that we were thinking along the same lines," she said, turning from him. She slid out of bed and walked to his dresser, opening one of the drawers. He shut his eyes expectantly and felt something heavy be placed on his chest. "I thought it was fitting for the world we live in now."

He opened his eyes and picked up the thick volume. _War and Peace._ He laughed and said, "I half-expected a razor."

She smiled and reached over, affectionately running her hand over his beard. "I like it."

"And I like this," he said, waving the book. "Though I don't know when I'll have the time to read it as Chancellor."

* * *

Their day should have been spent enjoying the holiday like everyone else, but Indra sent word that Clarke had been spotted in Sector 2. Kane went off with Jasper, Monty, and the Millers, leaving Abby to check in on her patients in Medical. She only had a couple: one with a broken leg and another who really hadn't been paying attention to the location of the electrified fence that bordered the camp.

After tending to them, she sat down on one of the cots and cracked open the book Marcus had given her, ready to dive into the world of Elizabeth Bennet again.

"What are you doing?" Raven Reyes leaned against the wall near the door. Abby looked at her, startled. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she watched Abby, one eyebrow raised. "You do know it's Christmas, right?"

"Like you even know what that means," Abby said, turning back to her book.

"I know it doesn't mean 'sit in Medical, reading,'" Raven retorted, crossing the room. She grabbed Abby by the arm, saying, "Come on, we're having a chess tournament in the mess hall."

Abby allowed herself to be dragged away by Raven, making sure that she brought her book along for good measure though. She sat with Raven, Wick, Bellamy, and Gina, very aware of Kane's absence in the presence of both couples. Hours wasted away and Abby longed to sneak away and read her book.

"Care for a game, Abby?" She turned and found Bennett Albright at the table next to theirs, an empty spot across from him. Wick nudged her in his direction and she reluctantly got up and sat opposite him. "I thought I'd save you from the kids table."

"Like you're any better, Ben," Wick called, moving a rook against one of Bellamy's pawns.

Bennett smiled to himself and motioned for her to start. As she moved her first pawn, he said, "I hear you're stepping down."

She looked at him surprised. "And how could you have possibly heard that?"

He shrugged, moving a piece. "Word spreads, Abby. Your conversation with Kane wasn't exactly silent yesterday."

"And what's it to you?"

"I think it's admirable," he said, taking the first piece of the game off the board before meeting her hard gaze. "You know your faults. I just hope your boyfriend does too. I assume he's running unopposed?"

"As of now, yes. Because no one even knows that I'm stepping down, Bennett." She said, taking one of his pawns with her queen, not messing around.

He nodded, looking down at the board. " _Everyone_ knows, Abby. You've been running yourself ragged this past month, trying to search for Clarke and run Medical. We've all known it was a long time coming."

"What's your point?" She asked.

"I have no point," he said with a shrug. "But I would warn Kane if I were you, not everyone agrees with his pro-Grounder stance. I know you're pro-Grounder too, but he's _extreme_. You'll want him to know that he'll be met with some opposition—"

"If that's how people feel, run a candidate against him. You don't have to settle for Marcus."

"I like Kane, I want him as Chancellor," Bennett said, ignoring the game momentarily as she took one of his knights. "This is a warning, Abby. There are people who won't agree if he tries uniting us with the Grounders further."

"Who?" She asked, a creeping chill spreading through her spine. She had her suspicions but wouldn't say them aloud.

"I can't say," he said and she knew she would never get it out of him.

"Bennett…"

"Check mate," he said, glancing down at the board.

She just shook her head at him. Why would he go through the trouble of warning her if he wasn't going to tell her anything? He stood up, hearing that dinner was ready, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

After dinner, Abby went to her quarters, finally curling up with _Pride and Prejudice._ She hadn't realized how much time had passed when Kane walked in, but she was 140 pages in.

"You've been busy," he said, kissing her forehead as he peeked at her reading progress.

"Not just with this," she said, setting the book down. "I have to tell you what happened—"

"Wait," he said, walking into her bedroom. He returned with a large painting, the back facing her. "Part two of your present."

She stared at him, astonished, forgetting what she had been about to tell him. He ordered her to close her eyes as he hung it on the hook he had already placed on the wall. She felt his hand take hers as he led her to stand in front of it.

"It's beautiful, Marcus," she said, stepping up to the painting. She wanted to run her finger over the canvas, but knew that wouldn't do anything. It was too perfect to be touched anyway. _Starry Night._

"It's not for you, not really," he said, his voice quiet. She turned to him, tearing her eyes away from the masterpiece. He had a small smile on his face as he said, "Monty told me which room was Clarke's at Mount Weather, this was on the wall. He said she liked it. It's for her when she comes home."


	18. Emo Na Bilaik Oso

_"Not all Grounders are the same."_ \- Marcus Kane, "Wanheda: Part 2"

* * *

"Sir, shouldn't we be heading back?" Paul Slater asked, his hand tensing on the barrel of his gun as a twig snapped nearby.

"In a minute," Kane said, still bent over the tracks on the ground. They weren't very fresh, but they might be worth pursuing; especially since things had been pretty quiet in the week since Indra had radioed about Sector 2.

"But the election, sir," Slater said, nodding toward the rover.

Kane stood and turned to the boy. "If you'll admit you want to go back because you're scared to be out here, maybe I'll call it quits. But the election will happen whether I'm there or not." He knelt down again.

"I'm not scared, sir," Slater said quietly, kicking at a rock. Kane peered at him over his shoulder. "It's just since Mount Weather, I still get…" his voice trailed off, unable to finish his thought.

Kane nodded, understanding. "We'll head back."

"Thank you, sir."

They climbed into the rover and started toward Arkadia. It was only a half an hour drive, but each passing minute filled Kane with a mix of giddy excitement and apprehension.

Since Abby had announced that she was stepping down at breakfast a week ago, news of a challenger had rippled through camp. Bennett hadn't been wrong, some didn't agree with everything he had to say. But still, no one had come forward to put their name on the ballot except the former Hydra Station Representative, Kent Beley, and he didn't seem to have much support other than a few of the people who still considered themselves the "working class." He didn't think Kent was the opposition Bennett had warned them about.

"You look nervous, sir," Slater said, glancing over at him in the passenger's seat, watching Kane's fingers drum against his leg.

He blinked rapidly, like he was coming out of a trance, before he looked at the young man. "I've never been up for an election before, I guess it's nerves."

"You have my vote, sir."

One corner of his mouth pulled back in a smile. He asked, "Aren't you from Hydra?"

"Beley wasn't a very good Representative from what I can remember before I was locked up," Slater said, shrugging. "Besides, all he's done since landing is sit on his ass in Engineering. He didn't even go off to the war from what I've heard. He let Sinclair and Wick do everything dangerous. He's not fit to lead."

Kane nodded, feeling his chest rise with confidence that wasn't there a second ago. "Thanks, Paul."

The boy smiled at him. "Anytime, Chancellor."

The gate opened for them twenty minutes later and Slater pulled the rover right into the new hangar. Raven walked over, swinging her useless leg along with ease. The surgery last month had done her wonders, Abby had even managed to find a medicine in Mount Weather for her pain.

"Cutting it a little close, Kane," she said, popping open the hood of the rover as they stepped out.

"I made it, didn't I?" He said, grabbing her toolbox for her. "The brakes are acting up."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Get to the mess hall, everyone's waiting for you."

"Aren't you going to vote?" He called over his shoulder, walking with Slater toward the door.

"I already did, Chancellor." He smirked as he pulled open the door and followed Slater down the hallway.

The mess hall was packed with everyone in camp, it was dinner time anyway. Even the children were there, though they didn't get a vote; Gina and Rebecca were watching them in the corner as they ate. Abby sat at a table near the front of the room with Sinclair, Jackson, and David Miller. He caught Abby's eye and saw the anxiety there.

Kane touched Paul's elbow and said, "See Bellamy about that guard's uniform later."

"Thank you, sir."

Kane broke from the boy and walked to join Abby and the others. He sat next to Sinclair, across from Abby. He asked, "Should I be lobbying for votes?"

"Nearly everyone's already voted," Miller replied, his fingers drumming on the table. "And we've already done that for you."

"All of you?" He asked, an eyebrow slowly raising. He looked at each of them and they nodded. He expected Abby to smile when he turned to her, but her lips were pressed in a thin line as she stared across the room. He reached across the table, tapping the back of her hand. "Abby?"

It was a few seconds before she looked at him and he saw the same anxiety still in her eyes. She said, "I can't figure out why the person Bennett warned us of hasn't put his name in."

"You still don't think it's Kent?" Jackson whispered.

Of course she had told them. He knew she would have been stressing over it all day, like she had been for the past week. They had exhausted the topic, going over damn near everyone in camp, even those who had left and never come back. When she woke that morning, she was so tense and already worrying over it before they even got out of bed. He took Paul Slater out to Sector 1 to see if he was ready to be a guardsman just so he could escape it for a few hours.

She shook her head. "Kent's harmless, he's weak."

"She's right, he is," Sinclair affirmed, nodding. "It's someone else we have to be worried about."

"There's no use speculating," Kane said. "We have no information to go on. We'll talk with Bennett after the election."

Dinner concluded, but everyone hung around as David, Abby, and Sinclair tallied the votes. The chancellor pin was still secured to Abby's coat, but in a few minutes it would either go to Kent or Kane. After about ten minutes, Abby stood, all eyes on her. She reached for the chancellor pin, unclasping it. She didn't even bother looking at Kent before she walked over to the table Kane and Jackson had moved to during the tallying and pinned it to his guard jacket.

She placed her hands on his shoulders, leaning up to kiss his cheek. Her lips still on his skin, she whispered, "Sinclair will get Bennett. We can't afford suspicion."

* * *

Miller poured them all a drink as they waited. Kane's fingers drummed against the metal of the table, Abby reached over and stilled them with her hand. He looked at her, a coldness in his eyes.

She said, "Hey, Sinclair will bring him."

"And what if he doesn't talk?" Kane asked, sliding his hand out from under hers to continue drumming.

"It doesn't matter," Jackson muttered.

Kane shot a look at him. "It doesn't matter? Maybe not to you. It's not your head on the chopping block if these people rise up against us."

"That's not what I meant, Kane." Jackson said, his face hardening, turning colder than Abby had ever seen it before. "It's not like we can do anything about it until something happens—"

"You're not on the Council, you can't do anything." Kane said, his voice harsher than he intended.

Jackson looked like he had been physically wounded. "I'm glad I'm not on the Council; if all you do is speculate all day, there are better things I can do with my time."

"You have no business being here, Jackson. Why don't you just go?"

"I asked him to be here. Stop acting like children," Abby said, her voice quiet, but it felt like she had shouted at them.

Kane reached for the mug in front of him, his face emotionless now as he adopted that rigid demeanor Abby was so familiar with from their days on the Ark. He took a drink of the moonshine as the door opened and Sinclair walked in, followed by Bennett Albright. David rose from his seat, where he had silently watched the exchange with an amused look on his face, to lock the door with the keypad.

"This feels awfully secretive," Bennett said as he took an empty seat next to Abby. Kane slid a drink toward him, causing him to raise an eyebrow. "Secretive _and_ hard to stomach? Let's get to it then."

Abby's voice was a whisper, as if she feared the walls were listening. "Marcus is chancellor now, we have to worry about an anti-Grounder movement. You have to tell us what you know, Ben."

He nodded and grabbed the mug of moonshine, downing it in one go. He took a deep breath and said, "As of now, I only know of a few. I hear a little here and there from who I would consider to be the leader. There are several of those kids who were trapped in Mount Weather: that one who attacked the Grounder — Mike, I think his name is — um, Masayo Takada, Mark Black, Megan Pass, Guy Henriksen, probably others." He sighed, his fingers fidgeting. Jackson reached across the table and refilled his mug. Bennett smiled at him and picked it up, taking a lengthy sip.

Hearing the names of several of the delinquents wasn't a surprise. Abby had expected that. It was understandable for them to hate those who had attacked them, warred with them, abandoned them to die in the Mountain. But, they had to know that all Grounders weren't the same.

Bennett continued, "They're not alone, the kids. Kent Beley's one of them, but he's more of a puppet, a follower thrust into the spotlight. He was put up for the election by the other two."

He paused again and Abby glanced at Kane, seeing how agitated Bennett's breaks were making him. Before he had an outburst, like those he was prone to in Council meetings on the Ark, Abby intervened. "Bennett, please, just tell us."

He nodded. "Sorry, you're not going to like who else is involved."

"We don't like that anyone's involved, Ben," Abby said, putting her hand on top of his, stilling his fingers like she had Kane's. "Please, you have to tell us so we can be prepared. You're on the Council, too."

"So are they," he whispered. "And they're my friends. They'll be pissed if they find out I told you."

Kane and Abby shared a look. They all knew he was talking about Gwen and Abbot so no one bothered stating the obvious. Bennett sighed, looking Kane in the eye, "These people are scared of the Grounders, particularly of what Ice Nation can do. And I don't really see you distancing us from them, Kane."

They all looked at him; Abby already knew what he was going to say, what he was going to do. He was going to do what he had always done and nothing anyone said would stop him.

"I will do whatever is best for our people and Arkadia," Kane said, staring at Bennett, keeping his face and voice calm though she knew he was anything but. His body was tensing and Abby reached under the table to take one of his hands — unsurprised to find it clenched in a fist. "If that means unifying with the Grounders further, I'm more than willing to accept the consequences of my actions and take on whoever opposes me."

A silence fell over the room. Kane's fist relaxed, allowing Abby to hold his hand properly. Her eyes met his, hers wide and questioning. He gave her a small nod, letting her know that he was okay.

Miller spoke up after a while, "Shouldn't we remove them from the Council?"

Sinclair answered before Kane got the chance. "They'll know we're onto them. It's best to keep them in the dark."

"All we can do now is keep an eye on them, the kids too. Three are under Abbot's control, but Mike's with you, Sinclair, Masayo's yours, Bennett. Maybe we can still reach them," Kane said. "As much as I hate to admit it, Jackson was right earlier. We can't do much until they act or we have something against them. For now, all we can do is teach tolerance."

* * *

"How close was it?" Marcus asked as he pulled his shirt over his head. She was already in bed, head propped up in her hand as she watched him.

"Closer than it should have been," Abby admitted. "But not close enough to worry."

He stepped out of his pants, asking, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that people actually voted for Kent, which I didn't think would happen," she said. He smirked at her before sliding under the covers. "Now, I've been thinking about this anti-Grounder—"

"Abby," he cut her off. He seemed so tired as he looked at her, more worn out than sleepy. "Can we give it a rest, if only for tonight? I can't keep talking about this."

She nodded and watched as he sank into the pillow, his eyes closing. She slid herself closer to him and let her fingers dance over his ribs, watching him shiver as her fingers passed a spot she knew made him ticklish.

Knowing the struggle that he was about to face as chancellor, she wanted to protect him. Seeing him like this — eyes closed, vulnerable in bed — she wondered how he was the same man who could pick up a gun and kill a man or scream at someone until he was hoarse. She knew he was also the man who fought tirelessly for what he believed in that it drove him to many sleepless nights, the man who did whatever it took to make sure the kids were safe — her kid was safe — the man who put his safety on the line if it meant he saved others. He was the man she would do anything to protect, not just because he would do the same for her, but because he now meant more to her than she meant to herself.

Abby leaned forward and pressed her lips to the curve of his neck. Her lips lingered for a few moments before she backed away, propping her head up on her arm again. Her hand began to trace circles near his hip.

 _"Ai hod yu in,_ " she whispered, still trying to get the feel for the language on her tongue. This saying was one she should have mastered by now because it was the one she was most passionate about, it was one he deserved to hear constantly.

She had been reading Penn's journal nightly since she had quit her job as chancellor, now that she finally had some more time to herself. She had started copying the sayings into a new notebook, knowing that was how she learned best. She was several pages in as of last night and had discovered that Penn had added many relationship-centric sayings.

" _Ai hod yu in seintaim_ ," Kane replied, a smile on his lips. His eyes opened and they searched her face, finding the love she spoke of there. She leaned over and kissed him briefly, pulling back to look at him.

"You should teach the others — you, Octavia, and Lincoln. I think it would be good for the camp and for the whole tolerance thing."

"Only if you'll commit to your studies a little more." He smiled as she gave him a look. He knew how hard she had been working in the past week, had watched her from across the room as she poured over the journal. "Your _hod_ was a little mumbled."

"You have a few lessons and you think you're some linguistic god," she chastised. He grinned before he leaned over, silencing her with a hungry kiss.


	19. Dissension

_"We can't lose Clarke. We can't lose her."_ \- Bellamy Blake, "Wanheda: Part 2"

* * *

Abby was a little surprised to find the door to the Council chamber closed. There was no meeting, nothing happening. They always left it open because they had nothing to hide. Since Marcus had taken over as chancellor nearly a month ago, he had vowed not to keep anything from the citizens of Arkadia. If they wanted to know what was going on, all they had to do was ask. She thought that was admirable because they had plenty to hide, but he was done keeping their people in the dark.

She opened the door and found Marcus standing with his back to her, headphones in, their wire disappearing into his back pocket. It seemed that Jasper had let him borrow Maya's old iPod. He wasn't wearing his guard jacket, he hadn't since he was elected. He had given over most of his responsibilities to David Miller; he was still in control of the guards, of course, but he didn't really consider himself one of them anymore. He had taken to wearing that old, leather jacket Abby was so fond of.

Marcus had wheeled in a new board — the few others they already had were pushed against the wall — and drawn a rough sketch of the sectors, a few dots within them. She approached, taking a closer look, seeing that the dots were actually dates: 3/11 next to Arkadia; 23/11 in Sector 8; 1/12 in Sector 6; 14/12 in Sector 7; 25/12 in Sector 2; 6/1 in Sector 5. He had drawn a line from one point to the next, connecting them. She could tell that he had gotten frustrated at some point because the lines were extremely thick, like he had scribbled them with the marker repeatedly.

She watched him take a deep breath and run his hand through his hair, at a loss for whatever it was he was trying to do. She walked toward him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He started, turning his head over his shoulder to see her looking up at him. He reached up and pulled the earbud out, letting it hang against his chest.

She asked, "What's all of this?"

He sighed, staring back at the board, flicking the marker between his fingers. "Clarke's known locations. I thought mapping them might help us figure out her next move, if she's even planning where she's going or if it's all random to her. It's been driving me crazy," he said, staring hard at the 6/1 marking. He dropped the marker on the ledge of the board.

Abby pressed a kiss against his shoulder. "She'll come home when she wants to, Marcus. She's too damn stubborn to let us find her."

"So she's too much like you?" He asked, smiling back at her. She pinched his side and he turned around in her embrace. "That's not a bad thing, Abby; it's kept her safe all of these months."

"So far as we know," she whispered, resting her head against his chest. "We haven't heard anything in weeks."

He lifted her head to look at him and leaned down to kiss her. It was a long, slow kiss and she knew he was trying to reassure her, to give her hope. He pulled away after a solid minute, murmuring against her lips as he cradled her face, her fists clutching his jacket, "You can't give up on her, Abby. Clarke's resilient, she's okay."

She nodded, pressing a light kiss to his lips. "It's been so long, Marcus. How do we even know that these sightings were real? They could have been anyone. A lot of the Grounders don't even know what she looks like."

"Remember that it was Indra who reported them, she wouldn't tell us if she didn't think they were real, Abby." He said, running his thumbs over her cheeks. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, lingering as he closed his eyes, lost to the feel of her skin on his lips.

There was a knock on the open door and they broke apart, finding David Miller standing in the doorway. "Sorry to interrupt, but Indra signaled."

Kane nodded and stepped away from Abby. He pulled the headphones out and tossed the iPod on the table. Miller said, "Clarke's in Sector 4. But, she's been captured."

"What?" Abby asked, feet frozen to the ground. Kane took her hand loosely in his.

Miller said, "Indra says that he's pinned down by the Ice Nation army, if we hurry, we can get to her."

"Abby?" Her name came out as a breath, a question on Marcus' lips as he stared down at her.

Despite what she had just said, she clenched his hand, telling him, " _Go_ , Marcus."

He nodded and kissed her hard on the lips. She looked up at him when he broke away. He whispered, "I'll bring her back."

Marcus walked toward the door, falling into step with David. He said, "Radio Bellamy, tell him to bring the others to Sector 4, we're going to need them."

He glanced back at her as he walked out the door. She saw a glint of hope there and that brief moment where their eyes met was enough for her. She felt it too.

Abby walked over to the board and picked up the marker, writing, "27/1" in Sector 4.

* * *

Medical was empty, but she couldn't bring herself to leave it. She needed the familiarity and even her quarters couldn't offer that — they reminded her too much of Clarke. Abby had a whole cabinet of Clarke's old drawings and she knew that if she went to her quarters, she would look through them all, spreading them across the room, staring at each one until they were no longer just charcoal on the page but pieces of her daughter.

She heard the door open but didn't look up, continued staring at the table in front of her. The chair next to her was pulled out and someone sat down. A hand rested on top of hers. She glanced over at it. _Jackson._ Of course.

Her eyes met his and she knew why he was her closest friend. All she saw was understanding, concern, the want to make it all better. Jackson squeezed her hand. "Are you okay?"

Her lips pressed together, she felt her throat seize up as she tried not to let the sob escape her throat. She knew Jackson saw the twitch of a neck muscle when he stood from his seat and pulled her to her feet, his arms wrapping tightly around her. She sank into the hug, letting him hold her.

He was a source of familiarity too and she welcomed it. He had always been there for her, through the good and the bad: when her husband died, when Clarke was sent to Earth, when Callie died, when she herself was nearly floated, when her patients died, when they thrived, when she needed a comforting word or just needed a hug. It seemed like it was more bad than good, though, in recent years. Still, he stayed through it all, always there for her.

"Kane will find Clarke, Abby," he whispered, his hand gently stroking her back. "They'll both be safe."

She laughed quietly against his chest, almost no sound coming out, but he could feel it. "You hate Marcus."

He shook his head. "No, I only hate him when he hurts you."

"Jackson, he—"

"I know, Abby," he interrupted, pulling back a little to look at her face. "I know he's not always like that. But there's still a fragment of the man he used to be in there. He's still haunted by him and I worry that that _old Kane_ — however little may remain in there — may come back.

"I'm afraid that something terrible will happen and that's all that will be left of him, Abby. I know people change, but you have to admit Kane's transformation has been… _unbelievable_." He said, staring down at her.

"What are you saying, Jackson?"

"I'm saying, I don't know if I can completely trust him. He's still angry, he's still volatile, he's still cold—"

"We're all angry, we're all volatile, we can all be cold." She reasoned, pulling out of his embrace and taking a few steps back. "It's called human nature, Jackson. But you know what — we're also good, kind, caring. You know what he's out there doing, right? Risking his life to bring my daughter back. The Ice Nation army stands between him and Clarke and he's not backing down — that's courage, also human nature. Don't you dare try to tell me who Marcus Kane is."

"Abby, I—"

"No!" She snapped, glaring at him with tears in her eyes. "That's enough, Jackson. My relationship is my business, you don't get to tell me that the man I love isn't worth it."

* * *

Abby woke late the following morning, not remember much about the night before. What she did remember was fighting with Jackson then going to the bar. Sinclair had been there with his wife and they started drinking, Wick and Gina joined not long after. It was all downhill from there.

The bed was empty next to her, unslept in, still made from the previous morning. She felt the tension coil in her chest as she stared at the spot he should have been in. Her heart was hammering in her chest before she reminded herself that there was likely a logical reason why he hadn't returned last night, why he hadn't radioed.

She slid out of bed, the impact of her feet on the floor traveling all the way to her head. It felt like someone had driven a spike through every lobe they could find. She walked slowly to the bathroom, glad in that moment that Marcus wasn't there to see the state she was in. She hopped into the shower and tried to wash her shame away.

Dressing after was a slow affair, her limbs were stiff from falling into bed and sleeping in the awkward position she had landed in. Somehow, she managed pulling clothes on, though she felt like she was on the verge of vomiting when it was done. There was relentless knocking on her door not long after and she staggered to the door, her head pounding.

"What?" She snapped upon throwing open the door.

"You look awful," Sinclair said, though he didn't look too well himself. He rubbed the side of his head, saying, "Nate Miller radioed, said we'd better 'make room at the inn,' whatever that means."

"What?"

"Apparently the Chancellor came across Farm Station survivors, he's sending them our way. 63 of them, Abby. That expanded housing won't be ready for a few weeks, even then, it might not be enough." He said, leaning against the doorframe.

"Marcus is okay?"

"Is that all you took from that?" He asked and she gave him a look. He hiccuped and put his hand in front of his mouth, looking sick for a moment. He muttered, " _Oh, I hate moonshine_."

"Me too," she agreed, walking over to the hook on the wall and grabbing her coat. She pulled it on slowly, watching Sinclair put his hands on his knees, closing his eyes. "Do you need to use the bathroom?"

He shook his head. "I haven't thrown up in years, I'm not breaking that record now."

She smiled at him, wondering how long he would last today. At least she wasn't nauseous anymore. "Come on, we have to make sure this place is in order when they arrive or it'll surely descend into chaos quickly."

She had Sinclair check in on expanded housing, to get a more accurate completion time for their job. She went to the mess hall, surprised to find that it was lunch. No one looked twice at her, it was one of the perks of no longer being Chancellor. She quite liked it, especially on a day like today. But, she had an announcement to make so she would need everyone's attention, she just hoped that they didn't realize how hungover she was.

Halfway to the front of the room, she was stopped by Jackson. She almost pulled her arm out of his grip, but let herself be kept there by him. She saw the regret in his eyes and knew that it was reflected in her own, though for different reasons.

He whispered, "Abby, I'm sorry. I had no right to say what I did."

"You're right, you didn't," she said, pulling out of his grasp and crossing her arms over her chest, feeling very sober in the moment.

He sighed, nodding. "I know, Abby. I don't know Kane well; we argue all of the time, he yells at me when he's frustrated, I'd be lying if I said I didn't do the same. But, for you, I'll try to understand him."

Her eyes searched his, trying to find a lie that she knew wasn't there. She may have called him every bad name in the book last night, but never a liar, because even in her drunken heart, she knew he wasn't one. She nodded. "Thank you."

He smiled at her and said, "But, really, if he hurts you, I'm going to kick his ass."

She smiled, "I can take care of myself, Jackson. But I appreciate the offer."


	20. Finding a Place

_"Let this be the first step toward peace." -_ Marcus Kane, "Human Trials

* * *

Abby walked out of Kane's bedroom, rubbing her eyes, and found him standing at the window, fully dressed, staring down at the yard. She knew it was a multicolored field of tents down there; Farm Station had to go somewhere and expanded housing wasn't any further along. And Marcus refused to move them where she had proposed — Mount Weather — for fear of upsetting the Grounders. She knew she should be glad that they had found the survivors, but with everything going on, more Grounder killers was the last thing they needed in Arkadia. But she couldn't blame him for not turning them away.

She walked over to him, putting her hands on his hips. Despite her light touch, he still jumped. He was so lost in his own mind that he hadn't heard her approach. It wasn't the first time he had reacted like that, it was happening more and more since he had taken over as Chancellor. She worried what the job was doing to him.

"They can't keep living like this," he commented, staring down at the tents. Abby rested her chin on his shoulder, watching the people of Farm Station walk around, stretching the kinks out of their backs from sleeping on the ground for two nights.

"What would you suggest?" She asked, her hands sliding under his shirt. He shivered at her cold touch and glanced back at her. She rotated her head on his shoulder, pressing her cheek into him so she could look at his face.

He shook his head. "I don't know, we should convene the Council."

She nodded against his shoulder before pulling away from him and going to get dressed for the day. When she came back out, he was still in the same spot, albeit his shoulders more tense. He was tense more often than not these days. She often wondered if she had replaced one second job with another: the Chancellorship for worrying over Marcus Kane.

She never said anything about how drunk he was when he had stumbled into her quarters the morning after he had returned. She only knew he was back because Bellamy was in Medical the night before and she had patched up his leg, listening to his story of what had happened on their mission to bring Clarke home. But seeing Marcus stagger into the room as she was getting ready to leave for the day was when she knew how much not finding Clarke was affecting him. He had promised to bring her home so many times now and she knew it was weighing heavily on him. Each time he returned empty-handed, he took longer and longer to come to her. She wondered if there would be a time when he wouldn't return at all.

Abby walked to her tablet, casting another glance at the man at the window, and sent a message to the other councillors. She tossed the device onto the couch as she walked back to Marcus. Touching his hand lightly, she brought him back to Earth, his head up in the clouds, lost in thought.

"We should get going," she said, her voice quiet so as not to startle him. "I told the others to meet us in fifteen."

He nodded and looked down at her. His eyes were where she saw the real change. They were taking the toll of his new job. He may have been losing weight from the stress, but his eyes were losing their light. Whenever she stared into them, they weren't the same — they were flat, hard, almost lifeless. She would give anything to bring them back to what they used to be, that rich brown that she could get lost in. But she knew the only way to do that was to end the Grounder resistance, get Clarke back, and make a permanent peace with the Grounders.

Abby took his hand gently, pulling him away from the window. She said, "Come on, we can grab something from the mess hall before the meeting."

He shook his head. "I'm not hungry."

Abby stopped in her tracks, her hand pulling him to a halt. She stepped toward him and whispered, "I know you're taking care of everyone else in this camp, but you have to start taking care of yourself too." She took his other hand. " _Ai gaf yu in, Markos_. | I need you, Marcus."

A sad smile flashed over his face for a moment before it disappeared. He squeezed her hand. " _Ai's trana, Abi._ | I'm trying, Abby."

She nodded and leaned up, pressing her lips firmly to his. Pulling back, she rest her forehead against his, whispering, " _Mema yu ste yuj in._ | Remember you are strong."

She felt his ragged breath on her face as he exhaled. He pulled away to look at her properly. The corner of his mouth pulled up into a smile as he said, "What would I do without you, Abby?"

She considered it for a moment and an amused look settled on his face. "You'd go on, but you'd probably waste away to nothing. Let's get you something to eat."

They arrived at the Council chambers later than everyone else, stomaches sated for the moment. As usual, the Council was divided — Sinclair and Miller on one side, Abbot and Gwen on the other, and Bennett the middle man. Abby and Kane sat across from them, the unified force in charge.

"What's this about?" Gwen asked, actually curious for once.

Over the past month, she had been snippy when speaking in meetings; Abby knew it was because Marcus was in charge now, but she either had to deal with it or step down. She knew Marcus would never remove her because it would show weakness, that their past was getting in the way of their people's future.

"Farm Station," Kane replied simply. He was always civil with her and Abby found that admirable given how they had ended things. "Their conditions now are…unfavorable. We can do better."

"And you're asking us if we have any ideas?" Bennett stated, an eyebrow raised.

"Yes," Kane nodded. Bennett's head bobbed up and down like it always did when he was thinking. None of them understood it, but if it helped him, they weren't going to say a damn thing.

"Mount Weather," Abbot said, staring across the table at Kane.

"Absolutely not," Marcus replied. His voice was calm though Abby knew how much the subject infuriated him, given that she had tried convincing him it was the right course of action too. "We're not putting our people into that mountain. It would risk our treaty with the Grounders."

A challenge flashed in Abbot's eyes but he didn't say anything. They both knew breaking the treaty was exactly what he wanted, though Abby was still convinced that putting Farm Station there wouldn't do it.

Bennett said, ignoring the tension in the room, "Well I don't know about you all, but I have an extra bunk. Most of these rooms in Alpha are doubles — two bedrooms. I don't see why we can't make room."

Kane nodded. "Not bad, Bennett."

"Thank you, sir—"

Abby tuned them out, lost to an idea that started small in her head, but consumed her. She glanced at Kane, who was talking with Miller over possible crowd control. She looked away, worried he would catch her staring after what he had just said.

Abby's home felt so empty when Marcus wasn't there. Clarke's room was the worst for her because she knew that even if Clarke did come home, she would never live there again; she would live on her own. Abby didn't have much — some photos, Clarke's old artwork, books, paperwork she could easily move to her office in Medical — it wouldn't take long, really.

Her eyes found Kane's and he seemed to know what she was asking. Despite the fact that they were in the middle of a Council meeting, that his ex-girlfriend was five feet away, that the timing made no sense, he nodded in answer to her unasked question.

* * *

"I accidentally went to my old quarters yesterday," Abby said, watching him hang up _Starry Night_. It had sat against the wall since they brought what little she had to his quarters after the Council meeting two days ago. Somehow, it was the last thing to be officially "moved in."

He turned to look at her. "You didn't go in, did you?"

"I wouldn't have been able to anyway, the Matossis changed the code," she said, smiling.

"Good thing you didn't get in, I hear they're strange," he said as he walked over to her, his arms circling her waist.

"Strange? Marcus, they're eccentric at best." She said, her arms wrapping around his neck, a hand sliding into his hair. "Besides, their arrival means we actually have adults in the chemistry department — Jasper Jordan's not in charge."

"That is cause for celebration," he said, his lips descending on her neck. His hands gripped her hips firmly, holding her flush to him.

Her grip tightened on his hair as he nipped at her skin but she continued on, "Besides, now we might actually have some real pain medication. What we got from Mount Weather won't last forever."

He nodded against her skin but he wasn't listening. His hands crept under her shirt, sliding slowly up her back. His tongue worked its way over her skin and her quiet moan was enough to keep him going even after his hands came across her shock lashing scars. But Abby was the one to pull away.

"What's wrong?" He asked, watching her walk away from him.

"Nothing," she said, grabbing her coat. She smiled at him, "I have to get to Medical."

"You're leaving me like this?" He asked, annoyed. He shook his head at her.

"You'll be fine, I know it's hard for a man with your job to find something of importance to do, but humor me," she smirked as she walked back to him, shrugging her coat on on the way. She put her hands on his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"You're an evil woman," he said as she pulled away. "But I should see Pike about his old job."

"Are you sure you want him teaching kids anymore?" Abby asked, taking his hand. "He's been changed too much by the Ground."

"I have to see if there's anything left of the man I used to know."

He exited Alpha Station ten minutes later, eyes scanning the dense crowd. He spotted Gwen and Abbot, talking close, but he had bigger concerns at the moment. A lot Farm Station survivors were at their new jobs, but Charles Pike was working the garden, digging holes for new seedlings Abbot had.

"I was starting to think you were too important to see me," Pike said as he set down his shovel, watching Kane's approach.

"Never too important for you, Charles," Kane smiled at him. "Wouldn't you rather be in a classroom?"

"I like the fresh air," Pike said, picking up the shovel.

"You can teach outside."

Pike smiled as the shovel stilled again. "What's this really about, Marcus?"

He couldn't tell him the truth, not after what he had seen Pike do and heard him say. But Marcus worried about Abbot getting under his skin, pulling him further into the anti-Grounder agenda. Truthfully, he didn't know who was further gone, Abbot or Pike. And _that_ truly worried him.

"You don't seem like a farmer," he replied, a small smirk on his face.

Pike laughed. "Well, I know enough about them to be good at it. Besides, I don't really see my subject being much use down here. We're already on Earth, people will get their skills out there." He motioned to the woods outside the fence.

"I'll find something for you," his eyes narrowed, but he tried to keep the look light, non-threatening. Pike cleared his throat and nodded behind him, Kane glanced over his shoulder to see Bellamy Blake running their way from the gate.

"Sir, _Penn raun hir. Emo gaf chich yu op in._ | Sir, Penn's here. He wants to speak to you." Kane had told him to speak in Trigedasleng if the information shouldn't be said in front of anyone who didn't like Grounders — Pike was one of those people. And the boy had been working so hard at the language for the past month in their meetings, it was nice to see him show off. Bellamy wanted desperately to be included in their mission, Kane knew Lincoln was teaching him extra daily.

"Can you speak something other than Grounder?" Pike asked, eyebrows pulled together as he looked at Bellamy.

Kane said, "Bring him in, I'll meet you in the Council chamber." He looked at Pike as Bellamy walked back to the gate. "The boy's learning, he likes to practice whenever he can."

"I don't see why any of you are bothering, the Grounders can die for all I care." The way he said it made Marcus' blood boil. This man was nothing like the person he had been on the Ark — _that_ Pike had been one of his closest friends. But maybe that was it, maybe Pike hadn't changed at all. Maybe Marcus had changed so much that the two of them would never be able to see eye to eye again; and he was fine with that because he was better off now.

"That's not how we see it here, Charles," Kane said sternly. "You only knew Ice Nation; not all Grounders are the same."

"Where's this naivety coming from?" Pike asked, stepping closer to him, a challenge in his eye. "The Marcus Kane I knew on the Ark would never side with savages."

"They're not the savages," Kane said simply.

He found Bellamy in the Council chamber with Penn and Abby. He whispered to Bellamy, "Has Monty done a tech sweep of this place lately?"

"Just this morning, sir," Bellamy replied with a nod. "All clear."

"Good," Kane said. It he was going to lead a resistance, the first thing he would do would be plant bugs in this chamber as well as the Chancellor's office. Kane walked over to Penn and Abby, smiling at the Grounder as he grasped his forearm. "It's good to see you, Penn."

"And you," Penn sat down. "I don't have much time, we should start."

Kane sat down across from Penn and waited, motioning for Bellamy to join them in the silence. Finally, Penn said, "The Commander has invited you to Polis. She wants to talk peace and hear any concerns the new Skaikru leader has. She has Clarke, the Commander's ensuring her safety as she will ensure yours. You're allowed maximum of ten people, more will not be allowed into the city. Some of our people are still weary of Skaikru, Lexa needs time to set them straight.

"You will be allowed time to speak with Lexa on the second day, you won't have long. Maybe half an hour, most likely less. You are to arrive in Polis on the 4th, I will meet you at the boundary."

Finally, a weight was lifted off of his chest, it had sat there for three months, crushing him. Now, Clarke was safe and they would see her in a matter of days. He glanced at Abby and saw utter relief. He took her hand and she smiled at him.

"Thank you," Abby said. Penn nodded and rose from his seat.

"Wait, you're leaving already?" Kane asked.

"I told you, I didn't have long."

They watched him walk out, Bellamy trailing him to make sure he left Arkadia alive. Kane turned back to Abby and the look on her face told him that he didn't have to say anything about Clarke. Although he had wanted to be the one to find her, he was just glad she had been found by an ally.

Abby stroked the back of his hand and whispered, "Who do you trust enough to bring with you?"

* * *

Bellamy opened the door on the first knock. His jacket was on and there was a look of determination on his face, he had clearly interrupted him on his way out. Kane had already gone to the other 7 he was bringing, saving Bellamy for last on purpose.

"Going somewhere?" Marcus asked, stepping back to allow the boy to exit his room. But Bellamy shook his head, turning back into his quarters. He beckoned for Marcus to follow him.

"I was coming to see you, sir," Bellamy said as Kane shut the door behind him.

"Oh?"

"I have to be on this mission, sir." His voice wasn't desperate though Marcus knew he was.

Kane sat down at Bellamy's workstation and thought it over. Yes, he had come to see about bringing him along, but did Bellamy actually deserve it? "Am I going to have a problem if you come?"

"What do you mean?"

Kane sighed. "I saw the look on your face when I called off the search, Bellamy. And after that solo mission you went on, you're lucky I'm even considering taking you along."

"I won't disappoint you," he replied.

"I need to know that you'll follow whatever orders I give because you sure as hell didn't do that in the cave," Marcus said, making sure Bellamy met his eyes. The boy hadn't looked away. He wasn't backing down from this, Kane knew he wouldn't. "I need to know that you'll be civil when it comes to Lexa."

Bellamy's face grew dark, like it was hidden in shadow. He growled, "She left us in that mountain. Why are you so sure we can trust her?"

"We all do things during war that are solely for the survival of our people. You can't hold it against Lexa because all she did was save her people—"

"At the expense of ours."

Kane sighed. "Can I trust you or not, Bellamy. You can hate her all you want but you won't harm her, you will be civil. Can you do that? We need this peace if we're going to survive."

He considered it for nearly a minute as he stared at the floor in front of his feet. Finally, Bellamy looked up and met his chancellor's eyes. "Yes, sir."


	21. Bearing the Mark

_"I will not let the fear of war dictate our agenda."_ — Lexa, "Ye Who Enter Here"

* * *

Monty made it a habit of sweeping the rooms for bugs every morning. Since the arrival of Farm Station, tension had spread through camp like wildfire. The Chancellor leaving for Polis only sparked new worries and as Abby walked through Alpha Station, several of their newest additions cast looks her way.

She knocked on the Millers' door, under the guise of checking in on the younger Miller, making sure he was ready for their trip to Polis. However, when she opened the door, she was greeted by David and he beckoned her in. Nathan Miller, Sinclair, and Bennett lounged around the room, perking up at her arrival. She walked in and sat next to Bennett on the couch.

"No Kane?" Sinclair asked, eyes flicking toward the door.

"No, we didn't think it would make sense for both of us to collect Nate," Abby replied. He nodded as she started the meeting, "It looks like we're going to be gone two or three days. We need you to continue acting like there's nothing wrong. But, we have to be prepared for our return; I'm certain we'll be bringing back news that these anti-Grounders won't like. It is up to you to not let this camp fall into disarray while we're gone. You know who you can trust."

"What about the supply run to Mount Weather? Jackson's keen on getting medical supplies and I wouldn't mind raiding their labs," Bennett said.

"We need that run to happen, but have guards at the outer door. Marcus doesn't trust all members of the coalition. And until we have Lexa's approval about Mount Weather, I don't want to risk anything."

"And what about Ice Nation?" David Miller asked, fingers fidgeting against his thigh. "They've been getting closer to Arkadia lately."

"Don't engage unless they do first." She said it with a sense of finality and they all nodded; she knew she could trust them and a dozen others, it was the rest of camp who kept her up at night.

* * *

The rover felt especially cramped with ten of them jostling around within its confines. Bellamy was at the wheel, Helm next to him. The rest of the guard — Slater, Scanlan, Nelson, Hill, Miller, and Monroe — sat in the back with Abby and Kane; four on each side, shoulder to shoulder. Every bump caused them to crash into each other and Abby was thankful that she was wedged between Marcus and the wall.

At last, the rover stopped at the Polis city limits and they all climbed out of the vehicle, stretching out their stiff limbs. Eight of them set off down the trail, Hill and Nelson were to wait at the truck and man the radio until they returned. It felt strange to be out with no weapons, to have no way of calling for help except with a shout. The arrival of Penn and the rest of their escort eased her worries, worries only she seemed to have.

Marcus didn't look tense; it had been over a month since he truly looked at peace, but here he was, marching toward the sacred Grounder capital, a smile on his face. Abby wondered if it was his faith in Lexa or the hope that having Clarke back would somehow change the tide at camp that was doing it. Whatever it was, she silently said her thanks because she hadn't seen this man since she handed him the chancellor pin.

The trees suddenly ceased to surround them and there was Polis, once some modern metropolis, now the sprawling Grounder capital. The eight members of Skaikru paused, taking in the city, while their guard continued on, oblivious to their stopping. Penn finally turned back to them and said, "It's more impressive up close."

He wasn't wrong. They walked the streets of Polis for nearly two hours, stopping here and there to look at something in a trade stall or a particularly nice piece of graffiti. Nate Miller, Zoe Monroe, and Paul Slater wandered off at some point and Bellamy went off in search of them. The rest of the guard hung back, leaving Kane and Abby to their own devices.

"I can't believe you just ate that," Abby commented with an even mix of admiration and disgust in her voice. They stood in the shadow of the Commander's Tower, the sun starting its descent in the sky.

"One of us had to, it would have been rude if we hadn't," he replied with a smile. "It wasn't bad actually."

She pursed her lips at him, fighting a smile. "I knew you were suited to be Chancellor." His eyes narrowed in confusion. "You're a man of the people, Marcus."

He shook his head. "Tell that to our own people."

She reached for his hand. "They'll come around. We'll make them see reason."

"And if we can't?" He asked.

She didn't get to answer as Penn walked toward them from the entrance of the tower. He said, "We can go up, where are the rest of your people?"

"Here!" Bellamy called, pulling Nate along by his arm. Monroe and Slater wore guilty expressions as they followed. Abby glanced at Kane, wondering if he was going to ask the obvious, but he turned to Penn and told him to lead the way.

As they climbed the stairs behind the Grounder, Marcus held back, his hand on Abby's arm so she did the same, allowing the others to pass until they were walking with Nate and Bellamy. "What happened?"

"Nate didn't have anything to trade," Bellamy said simply, glancing at his friend.

"You stole something?" Kane's voice came out as a quiet snarl, he didn't want to alert the others to their conversation.

"There was no one at the stall, and I—"

"That is no excuse, Nate. Do you know how fragile this is, our being here?" Nate nodded, forcing himself to meet the Chancellor's eyes. Kane added, "I've arrested you once in my life, I don't want to do it again. But if you risk this alliance, you'll force my hand."

They arrived at the 37th floor in silence and Penn stopped them there, it was the last floor near the top with any rooms available for the Summit. He led them down a hall until he reached a door, which he threw open to reveal a large bedroom.

"This is for the Chancellor…and guest," Penn's eyes flickered to Abby. She rolled her eyes to herself. "The rest of you have a room down the hall."

Penn turned to lead the guards — who were grumbling about all sharing a room — down the hall, but Kane grabbed his arm. "Clarke?"

"She will be brought in soon," Penn replied before walking off.

Abby had already entered the room and her eyes were immediately drawn to the monstrous bed. It was pushed against the wall, its headboard reaching nearly to the ceiling. She knew there were far more important things she should be concerned with, but as she stared at the bed, with its furs and pillows, all she could think about was pushing Marcus against it and fucking him senseless.

She turned when she heard the door shut, a blush creeping across her face. She looked at Kane, eyebrows raised. _"Guest?"_

He smirked and walked toward her, glancing at the bed then noticing her blush. "Oh, Abby, there are other concerns…As my _guest,_ I need you to behave yourself."

"I don't want to think about any of it anymore, Marcus," she said, walking toward him. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pressing her body to his. A smirk settled on his face and she kissed it away. His arms hung limp at his sides, not engaging. That was fine, he would give in eventually.

Her lips moved to his neck and she could feel his muscles moving under her tongue — he was trying so hard not to react. She sucked her way up to his earlobe, which she nipped, before whispering, "We have time and that bed looks too inviting."

"Abby, I'm not going to have Clarke find us like that," he said, pushing her away gently. The last thing he wanted was for Clarke to walk in on them.

Abby sighed and stepped in front of the glassless window, in desperate need of cooling off. Marcus watched her for a moment, an amused smile on his face. He walked over and stood next to her, his hand grazing hers. He offered, "There will be plenty of time for that tonight."

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "There'd better be."

He slid his arm around her, pulling her against his side as the sky turned a darker orange. She rested her head against his shoulder and stared at the changing colors of the sky. Though she would rather be seeing it from the bed, with Marcus moving over her, she supposed there was a beauty to it from the window too — being so high up and seeing the phenomenon from above the trees.

After a while, there was an almost timid knock on the door and Kane called out, "Come in."

Abby pulled away from him as the door opened, they both turned to see Clarke striding into the room, a sense of purpose in her walk. Abby walked toward her, surprising herself that she didn't run, and wrapped her arms tight around her daughter. Clarke felt stiff in her embrace, but Abby didn't care. It had been three months, three long months, and she hadn't known for certain if her daughter was alive or dead.

"Mom, we don't have long." Clarke chastised, pulling out of her mother's hug.

"Wait, Clarke, I—"

"Abby," Kane said gently, his hand grazing the small of her back as he came to stand next to her. Clarke gave him a look, something that would have been 'thanks' in another time, but her face was hardened by her months surviving alone in the woods.

The girl known as 'Wanheda' said, "Ice Nation threatens Lexa, they want to seize control of the Coalition for themselves. Lexa wants Skaikru to become the 13th Clan; this isn't about a treaty anymore. She's offering you prolonged protection."

Abby couldn't help but notice Clarke referring to Skaikru as 'you' and a tightness came to her throat. Her daughter was ready to distance herself from their people again, from her. She was never going to get Clarke back, not really.

She couldn't speak, so Kane did it for her, "Does that mean we follow Lexa?"

"As much as the other clans do. There's some sense of freewill," Clarke answered, "just not where the Coalition is concerned."

Abby, finding her voice, said, "This is ridiculous, we came here to negotiate a treaty and to bring you home."

"This isn't up to you, it's Kane's decision." Clarke stared at the Chancellor, Abby turned to him too. He was in deep thought, weighing every cost of this decision. Abby knew he was considering the impact it would have on the resistors at home, that he was worrying over their possible reaction and planning out a response. It all happened in a matter of a few seconds, then he gave Clarke a nod.

"You haven't seen their army, Abby, we don't stand a chance." Kane said. "But what's going to stop Ice Nation? They're not going to roll over because we've joined the Coalition. I fear it will anger them further."

"No, but they will when I bend the knee to Lexa." Clarke said it in such a resigned way, Abby's eyes turned to her daughter again. But the moment had passed and Clarke's eyes flickered to the limited distance her mother and Kane were standing apart. Abby saw curiosity in Clarke's eyes, but something else too — was it worry? "Can I speak with Kane alone?"

Abby and Kane exchanged a look, she couldn't help but notice the hint of fear in his eyes. This was the man who willingly went off to an enemy camp with a prisoner of war, the man who arrested people on the Ark, the man who proposed the culling of their own people without their knowledge, the man who crawled through a maintenance shaft on the off-chance that there were people alive on the other side. The man who, despite all of that, was afraid of her 18-year-old daughter.

Abby nodded and said, "I'll just wait outside."

* * *

Kane stood with his arms crossed behind his back, waiting for Clarke to speak first. Never in his life did he imagine he would have _the_ _talk_ with a teenager, especially when it was the teenager doing the talking. She studied him, sized him up — it was like they were preparing for battle and he didn't know which side would win.

"How long have you been sleeping with my mom, Kane?" Clarke asked, her tone more curious than accusatory. "Is that how you got the job?"

"There was an election, Clarke, I was voted in."

"That's a first," she remarked. "You still haven't answered my question."

"Your mother deserves more respect than for me to dignify your question with a response."

She studied him. "How long have you been in love with her?"

"Clarke," he sighed, "I love your mother, can't that be enough?"

"She deserves to be happy," Clarke said and for a moment, he was worried. Worried that she didn't think he was good enough for Abby. He valued her opinion, he always had, and if she thought Abby could do better, it would crush him. Not just his mentality but his soul, because being with Abby was the best thing that had ever happened to him. She was the only thing that made sense to him in this world that was constantly threatening to spiral further out of control; he needed Clarke to accept it. She finally said, "That is enough, though. And she loves you too, a lot from what I can tell."

"How?" He asked curiously. The Griffin women had been together for a total of five minutes in the past three months.

"She stopped wearing her wedding ring, didn't you notice?" Clarke asked, surprised. "There's not even a suntan line, it must have been a while ago."

Kane stood there, momentarily dumbstruck. He couldn't even react, it was like he had frozen in place. He had thought there was something different about her, but that was something he would have noticed. He felt it every time he held her hand, stared at Jake's ring when they made love. He didn't mind them, they were her past and hers to part with when she wanted. He just couldn't believe that he hadn't noticed they were gone, he must have gotten so used to them being a part of her.

Clarke smiled at him, saying, "Look for yourself when you see her. We have to go."

* * *

 _Could it not have at least been an interesting symbol?_ He found himself thinking as he stared down at the brand on his arm. If he had the choice over what to permanently mark his skin with, it wouldn't have been this — a circle with two half circles overlapping within it, a single dot in the very middle.

He lay in bed, listening to a gentle rainfall drift in through the window. The room was lit with a few candles, near the bed, but he didn't see the point in them. He was the only one in the room and he didn't care to see anything, least of all his burned flesh. He ran a finger tentatively over the marred skin, feeling a piece of skin flake away from the burn. He shivered — it hurt, but he had known worse pain.

This stupid mark had to help their people, if not, he had been branded like livestock for no damn reason. He knew Abbot and the other resistors wouldn't like it, their joining with the Coalition; Bennett had warned of that much before the election. He just wondered what the mark would do to him, what it would mean for him to be the one to bear it. He knew it was going to affect how people saw him, how his people saw him.

He sighed and closed his eyes, letting the soft furs lure him toward sleep. He just wished Abby was back to enjoy the bed with him. The Summit had ended over an hour ago and she had said she was going to talk with Clarke for a moment, but from the look on Bellamy's face, he knew that she was going to have to fight for her daughter's attention.

He didn't know how long he had been asleep for, but a sting on his arm roused him to wake. His eyes flashed open and he pulled his arm toward his chest, cradling the wound. He blinked the grogginess away until his eyes settled on Abby. She was seated on the edge of the bed next to him, one leg pulled up onto the bed and bent, its foot tucked under the other knee. She had an ointment in her hand; a med kit was balanced on his stomach for easy access.

She whispered, "Sorry, I just wanted to bandage it up. You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you."

He nodded, embarrassed by his reaction. His laid his arm back over her lap and let her continue her work. He had always admired her skill, even when tending a simple burn.

After a few minutes, he said, "I've been thinking—"

"That's never good," she commented as she tossed the ointment back in the med kit.

He smiled and replied, "I know, but this time, it's important, I swear."

"Go on," she said, reaching for piece of gauze.

"I don't think all of us are going to be able to leave here," he said, watching her place the gauze over his brand.

Her hands stilled. "What do you mean?"

"You saw all of the ambassadors, you know we'll be expected to provide one," he replied.

"And who would you suggest?"

"You would be my first choice, but I'm too selfish to part with you," he said, watching a smile tug at her lips. "I would like to leave Bellamy, but I'm afraid he would kill Lexa the first chance he got. And I didn't get this brand because it's so stylish."

She laughed quietly, but what he was trying to say dawned on her. She didn't let it affect her as she reached for a wrap to secure the gauze with. She wrapped it around his arm several times, not responding to the question in his eyes. She tore it free and pressed the end of the wrap firmly against the rest of it, sticking it to itself. She packed up all of the supplies, closed the med kit, and set it on the floor next to the bed.

Finally, she looked at him. "You want to leave Clarke, don't you?"

"I don't want to leave her, Abby, but I don't trust anyone else enough." He hoped she understood the difference. He took her hand, twining their fingers together. Staring at them, he said, "Say the word and I'll forget it altogether."

She shook her head. "Clarke will feel the most useful here. Besides, she doesn't want to come home, she can't face our people."

"She'll do well here," he ran a finger over the spot her ring used to be, "awfully perceptive, that daughter of yours."

Abby met his eyes, a smile spreading across her face. "You really didn't notice? It's been three weeks."

He laughed, "You sound like Clarke. I see where she gets it from."

Abby rolled her eyes as she pulled herself completely onto the bed. She turned to him and started to climb up his body, saying, "In case you were wondering, I stopped wearing Jake's too."

"I've never minded them, Abby," he said as she laid on top of him.

"I know," she said, brushing his hair out of his face. She pressed her lips gently to his, murmuring, "They're a part of a past that I'd rather move on from."

He nodded and wrapped his arms around her waist. His lips descended on her neck, nipping at her skin before soothing it with his tongue.

"Now, I was promised that we would get full use out of this bed," Abby whispered, her nails running along his neck.

* * *

"It's nice to see you again," Lexa commented as Kane walked into the meeting room the following morning. He was relieved to find the commander alone. She motioned to the chair across from her, "Sit."

He did as he was told, feeling that somehow their dynamic had changed. He knew she trusted Clarke more than him now, wondering for a moment if she always had. Certainly in those early days, it had been him, back when Finn was alive and Marcus was their only hope to get the Sky People to turn him over. They had mutual respect for each other, he still did.

"How is your arm?" She asked, eyes flickering toward the sleeve that hid the brand.

A smile pulled at the corner of his lips. "It's fine."

"You put on a brave face for your people," she commented. "What can I do for them now?"

He smiled and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "We don't require much. First, Lincoln's kill order. I need it lifted."

She considered him for a moment, but the look on her face told him that she expected it. "So long as he knows he is no longer Trikru."

"You've made that clear enough, he understands," Kane said, nodding solemnly. The war had taken a lot from Lincoln — his sense of self, his people, his home — the least Kane could give him was his freedom back. He continued, "Ice Nation nears our camp, closer every day. I fear that making us a member of the Coalition will give them cause to take us out."

She nodded, her eyes on his as she thought. "Your guns won't be enough to stop their army. I'll give you Indra and 300 warriors."

He hadn't expected that, but the mark on his arm truly did mean something. Clarke was right, it ensured Lexa's protection over the Sky People. He didn't hate the ugly thing anymore, not if it meant his people would be protected from Azgeda. If only he could protect them from themselves.

"Lastly, Mount Weather," he said quietly. She grew cold at the name but didn't say anything. "If we were to open it as a hospital, for any member of the Coalition to come to in need, it would do the world good finally. The Mountain's taken enough from both of our people, the least we can do is make sure it never does that again."

His eyes never wavered from hers as he watched her think it over. It was a long five minutes before she finally spoke, "Don't expect any of my people to come to the Mountain."

His brows furrowed. "What's the answer, Lexa?"

"Do whatever you want with the Mountain, Marcus, we don't want it. But don't be surprised if my people refuse to accept your help from within it. All we've known is death there."

"And we understand that, but together we can make people see reason."

She studied him for a moment. "You already have one of my healers interested, don't you?"

He nodded. "Nyko. He was wounded by Azgeda weeks ago on his way to see Lincoln; Abby saved his life in that Mountain. He's convinced he can change your people's minds."

"Maybe he will," she considered, her eyes dark. "Or maybe it'll get him killed."


	22. Yu Ste Klir Hir

**Since the newest character doesn't speak English, there's a lot of Trigedasleng in this chapter. If you see a mistake, please let me know so I can correct it! I tried my best. -TenToo**

* * *

 _"Being a good leader means knowing which battles to fight."_ \- Marcus Kane, "Rubicon"

* * *

Kane pulled his hat lower over his ears as the wind bit at his face and the light snow whirled around him. He had always liked the idea of snow, but found it more of a nuisance in reality. Though, he supposed, anything was welcomed after a stagnant life on the Ark, even the bitter cold that had descended on them as they set out to figure out just where their new border was. Lexa had given them a five kilometer radius around Arkadia.

The gloves and hats had been Abby's idea, she refused to let them leave without their protection, claiming that she knew best as a doctor. She had pulled his hat on for him, whispering that it wasn't safe for them to go out, that they should wait for Indra's army. With Pike next to him, he couldn't tell her that once the army arrived, he wouldn't have time to scout the border. He would be too busy worrying over Abbot and the other anti-Grounders with an army only a mile away from camp.

Kane could feel Pike's eyes on him but he didn't want to meet them. He didn't want Pike to see how weary he was, only an hour or two of sleep keeping him on his feet. The anger on the faces of the anti-Grounders was enough to keep him up, imprinted on his eyelids whenever he shut them. He was right to have been worried over their reaction to the news and was glad he hadn't shown them the brand, knowing it would ignite violence when they were clinging to fury for now.

"Do you hear that?" Nate called out.

Kane slowed to a stop and listened. A quiet drumming filled the air, growing louder with each passing second, he could feel the vibrations in his legs. He held up his hand and the other three men stopped. He led them to a cluster of trees and crouched to the ground, peering between them.

"Sir, we're past our border, we shouldn't be here," Bellamy said, glancing down at the tracker in his hand. He knelt next to Kane and showed him that they were indeed a mile past their border, had headed north instead of east from the rover.

Kane nodded and stared through the trees, listening to the sound of the drums. It was only a minute or so before a hundred Ice Nation warriors broke through the trees across the field, heading southeast.

"Do you think they're going to Tondc?" Nate whispered, his eyes following the army.

"The only way we'll know is if we follow them and I'm not risking that," Kane replied, fingers tensing on his gun. It didn't make any sense for these warriors to be here, not when their queen was still in Polis.

"We should head back," Bellamy said, watching the army continue its path across the field. Kane nodded and was the first to rise from his position on the ground. The others followed suit and, together, they ran toward the rover parked near their border. They were halfway there when Nate Miller tripped over the first body. The others stopped in their tracks and Kane's eyes drifted over the scene.

Four bodies, each hacked up, lay scattered in the grass. The heads were placed together in a line. The grass was slick with blood, the white turned red where there was snow. Footprints led away from the scene, in the direction they had just come from. Every pair of feet had gone north, except one.

They were small and went west, in the direction of a large tree. A trail of blood led up the trunk, Kane's eyes following the red until he found a small figure high among the bare branches. The boy couldn't be older than ten and he clung to the tree, his legs and arms wrapped tightly around the thick branch. Even from the ground, Kane could see that he was trembling and covered in blood, though he suspected it wasn't his own. The war drums were louder — if he was going to save the kid, it had to be now.

 _"Chit ai na tag yu in?_ | What can I call you?" Kane called in a hushed voice, ignoring the agitated men behind him.

" _Gon we, Skaihef!_ | Go away, skyman!" The boy shouted with venom, but when he looked down, all Marcus saw was fear.

" _Ai laik heda Markos kom Skaikru, ai mana yu nou bash op._ | I'm Marcus the leader of the Sky People, I mean you no harm." He told him, still making no effort to approach the tree though the war drums were so close, the sound rattled his brain. " _Ba emo du. Azgeda. Konge kom ai, beja._ | But they do. Ice Nation. Come with me, please."

The boy looked down at him then over at the army in the distance.

"Kane, come on! We have to go!" Pike said in an angry whisper, his eyes practically bulging out of his head.

"Give me a second," he snarled, turning his attention to the boy again. Pike scowled and kept his gun trained on the army. Kane's voice was desperate as he called to the boy again, " _Noumou wamplei na hon yu hir op. Konge kom ai, beja. Beja._ | Only death will find you here. Come with me, please. Please."

"Kane, leave the damn kid. He's just a Grounder!" Pike hissed, watching Ice Nation's approach.

Kane ignored him, his eyes on the boy in the tree. " _Beja_."

The boy looked past him to the approaching army again. He untangled himself from the branch with some difficultly — his muscles used that one position — and began to climb down the tree.

Kane whispered, " _Hos op._ | Hurry up." The boy jumped to the ground from the lowest branch and looked at Kane, the fear still in his eyes. Kane called to Bellamy, "Take him to the rover."

Bellamy grabbed the boy by the arm, murmuring, " _Buk au._ | Run." The boy didn't need telling twice, sprinting toward the rover with Bellamy; Nathan Miller hurried after them. Kane took one last look at the slaughtered Grounders. Pike was still watching the army that was closing in on them as he said, "Let's go, Kane." He started toward the rover, too.

Kane's anger flared and he grabbed Pike's collar, whirling the large man back to face him despite how near the army was. "If you ever say someone's 'just a Grounder' again, nothing will protect you, not even that gun. Where's the man you used to be, Charles?"

"I was about to ask you the same question."

* * *

Something crashed behind her. Abby turned from the sink, her hands still covered in blood from surgery. Charles Pike stood near the doorway, a bucket of cleaning supplies overturned and scattered at his feet.

He pointed at her hands. "Your boyfriend's about to have blood on his hands too."

Abby stared at him, letting the blood dry further, knowing she should wash it away but not wanting to turn her back to him. "What are you talking about?"

"He nearly got us trapped by the Ice Nation army, just to save a damn Grounder kid!" Pike yelled, stepped toward her.

She held her ground, meeting his eyes. "Is the kid okay?"

He balked. "Are you serious, Abby? That's what you care about?"

"I'm a doctor, Charles. Does the kid need medical attention?" She asked, calmly.

"No, he doesn't need medical attention, but that's—"

"Then, you have no business being here," she said, glaring at him. "Marcus is your chancellor, if you don't like a decision he makes, take it to him or the Council."

"You're on the Council, Abby!"

"Right now, I'm a doctor." Abby replied turning back to the sink to wash her hands. She called over her shoulder, "Please leave, Charles."

She let the tremor run through her body once she knew he was gone, gripping the sink as her head sank to her chest and she drew in a rattled breath.

* * *

Kane hadn't been able to get anything out of the boy, not in the hour since he had brought him to Arkadia. He sat trembling, still covered in blood, on the floor in the corner of Kane and Abby's quarters. Marcus stayed across the room on the couch, his elbows on his knees, at a loss for what to say.

At first, he had tried asking what his name was, where he had come from; now he sat in silence, thinking. The boy was terrified, there was no denying that. And Marcus wasn't going to make him talk if he didn't want to.

Kane pulled his jacket off and leaned back against the couch, shutting his eyes and letting the stress of the day wash over him. The scouting mission had proven that Charles Pike was a lost cause, that he was willing to let an innocent child die just because he wasn't born in space. Kane couldn't allow that, he had to keep Pike in check, to be prepared to arrest him at the first sign of disobedience. He didn't like it, but it was necessary. He almost wished he had never found Farm Station.

He sighed, pushing up the sleeve on his right arm to scratch his healing brand. It itched like crazy, Abby said it was normal. She also told him not to scratch it, but she wasn't here and she would never know. He set his nails to it, letting the relief wash over him.

" _Ha don yu hon daun in?_ | How did you get that?" The boy spoke so quietly, it was a few moments before Kane realized he had even said anything. He leaned up and looked across the room at the child. He was still in the corner, but he no longer held his legs and his tremor was gone. He was pointing at Kane's arm, at the brand.

" _Ai laik heda kom Skaikru, Heda Leksa gon glong osir kongeda op._ | I'm the leader of the Sky People, Commander Lexa joined us to the Coalition." Kane said, hoping that was enough. The boy nodded and continued to stare at the brand. Kane smiled and asked, " _Yu gaf chek au in?_ | Do you want to look at it?"

The boy nodded again and pushed himself to his feet, walking slowly toward Marcus. He was apprehensive, Kane didn't blame him, but still, he came closer. He stopped a few feet from him and Kane whispered, " _Ai na nou bash yu op._ | I will not harm you."

The boy took another tentative step toward Kane before he sat lightly on the couch next to him, barely touching the cushion. He reached out and Kane offered him his arm. He said gently, " _En's ogud._ | It's okay."

The boy's fingers lightly touched Kane's brand, feeling the raised flesh. His eyes met Kane's for a moment before he quickly looked away. It was like he was embarrassed to be interested, to be curious. After nearly a minute of running his fingers over the healing brand, the boy looked at Marcus again, this time he didn't avert his gaze. He said, " _Ai laik Benja._ | I'm Benja."

" _Os hit yu op, Benja._ | Nice to meet you, Benja." Kane said with a smile. He thought there was a hint of a smile pulling at the boy's lips, but a loud knock sounded from the door and it sent Benja scurrying back to his corner. Kane cursed under his breath before he called, "Come in," as he walked over to the boy. He crouched in front of him, murmuring, " _En's ogud, en's ogud."_

The boy was shaking again, his arms wrapped around his legs. Kane heard the door open and Benja shrank further against the wall. Kane whispered, " _Yu na nou laksen hir. Ai na nou teik daun kom au._ | You will not be hurt here. I will not let that happen."

The boy nodded and Kane sat next to him on the floor, watching Abby, Lincoln, and Octavia walk further into the room. Benja shrank against his side and Kane whispered, " _Yu ste os._ | You're okay."

Abby's eyes softened and a small smile settled on her face when she spotted him on the floor, the boy huddled against his side. She asked, "Is it okay? They wanted to meet him."

Marcus looked down at Benja, who was grasping his shirt as he stared at Lincoln. Kane said, " _Emo laik oma lukot. Yu gaf emo hir in?_ | They are my friends. Do you want them here?"

He nodded after a few seconds. Lincoln smiled as he muttered, " _Ai vout in Abi laik som mou kom lukot._ | I think Abby's something more than a friend."

" _Shof op, Linkon_ | Be quiet, Lincoln," Kane snapped on reflex. He didn't know why that bothered him so much and the smile on Abby's face made him feel even more embarrassed by his reaction.

" _Em laik yu houmon?_ | Is she your wife?" Benja asked innocently, staring up at Kane. His mind went blank for a moment before shaking his head. Octavia burst out laughing as she sat on the couch. Abby pursed her lips to keep from smiling as she sat next to Octavia and Lincoln, her eyes meeting Kane's briefly, amusement dancing within their depths.

Kane took a moment to regain his composure, mentally chastising himself for overreacting. He looked down at the boy again, who was still staring up at him. He said, " _Emo laik Okteivia, Linkon, en Abi. Linkon bilaik yu._ | They're Octavia, Lincoln, and Abby. Lincoln's like you."

Benja perked up, pulling away from Kane slightly, releasing his grip on his shirt, as he looked at Lincoln eagerly. " _Yu ste Podakru?_ | You're a Lake Person?"

Lincoln smiled but shook his head. "No, _kom Trikru. Ba en's ogud, yu na wich ai in._ | No, from Trikru. But it's okay, you can trust me." Lincoln nodded at Marcus, adding, " _Yu na wich em in. Kein ste os hef._ | You can trust him. Kane's a good man."

Benja looked up at Kane, their eyes meeting. Kane saw the confusion, the contemplation, and the acceptance flash through the boy's eyes in a matter of seconds.

Octavia asked, " _Chon yu bilaik?_ | Who are you?"

"Benja."

" _Weron kamp raun yu seingeda, Benja?_ | Where's your family, Benja?" Kane stared at Octavia, his eyes wide as he shook his head a fraction of an inch in each direction. How could she think that he would willingly take the boy away from his family? He watched the realization dawn on her face, an apology writing itself on her skin but only Kane saw it.

Benja was staring at the floor, his arms curled around legs. Kane watched as the tears pooled in his eyes. He glanced over at the couch as Abby whispered something to the other two. She turned back to him and their eyes met, all he saw there was concern.

When Benja spoke, Kane felt a chill on his spine. His voice was quiet and shook with each word he forced out, " _Azgeda gonakru gon koma gon osir. Jos kos osir Podakru. Emo gon frag ai seingeda op._ | Ice Nation warriors came for us. Just because we're Lake People. They killed my family."

Lincoln whispered something to Abby as Octavia said, " _Moba. Yu ste klir hir, Benja._ | I'm sorry. You're safe here, Benja."

She stood and Lincoln followed her to the door. Kane was surprised at how quickly they left. He looked at Abby with a question in his eye but she ignored it as she walked over to them and crouched down in front of Benja.

She said quietly, " _Ai laik fisa. Yu na teik ai chek yu au?_ | I'm a healer. Will you let me look at you?"

He nodded. Marcus watched her for a moment, as she checked him over for cuts and injuries, before he stood and walked toward the hallway. He pulled open a cabinet halfway down the short hallway and retrieved a blanket and pillow. Kane returned to the living room to find Abby cleaning the boy of blood, telling him that they would look after him, that nothing bad would happen to him again. He smiled to himself as he walked over and put the pillow and blanket on the couch.

After a few minutes, Abby said, " _Yu ste os._ | You're okay."

She rose from the floor and glanced over at Kane, who had been watching with his arms crossed over his chest. He let his arms fall to his side and said, " _Yu na rid hir op, ogud?_ | You can sleep here, okay?"

Benja nodded. The boy was so worn out, he stood and climbed onto the couch without hesitation. Kane unfurled the blanket and laid it on top of him. Two _clunks_ echoed through the room as he kicked off his shoes and rolled over, facing the back of the couch.

* * *

Abby had to pull Marcus out of the living room, assuring him that the boy would be fine on his own. She left the door to their bedroom open to ease his worries, the low light she left on in kitchen casting a soft glow over the room, allowing them to see the couch.

She clicked on a lamp and turned to Kane, only to find him with his back to her, seated at the desk. His shoulders were hunched and he flicked open the book in front of him, the one she had gotten him for Christmas. Abby frowned as she watched him, wondering if he would sleep or stay up and watch over the boy like it was some penance he owed.

She changed out of her clothes and pulled on one of Marcus' shirts. It only went a few inches down her thighs but she found comfort in wearing it, which was why she had started doing so weeks ago. It didn't hurt that the sight drove him crazy, but that wasn't the purpose behind it tonight. Tonight was about the comfort, after her ordeal with Pike in Medical, she needed to feel safe and with Marcus closed off and focused on the boy, she worried she wouldn't get any true comfort from him.

She walked across the room and wrapped her arms around him from behind, whispering in his ear, "Looking for the secret to peace?"

He smiled half-heartedly and said, "If only it were that easy."

She ran her nails lightly over his chest and leaned her head against his shoulder. "We should talk about today."

Kane rubbed the back of his neck as he said, "Do we have to?"

"Marcus," she breathed. She pulled away from him with a sigh and walked a few steps away from him before turning back to him, crossing her arms over her chest. He turned the chair to face her, leaning forward in it with his elbows resting on his knees. He ran a hand over his beard as he asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

She noticed the way his eyes lazily raked over her body but didn't address it. The tingle in her spine betrayed her, her body reacting to his gaze. She pursed her lips and said, "Pike came to see me earlier. He said you're about to have blood on your hands."

A muscle in Kane's jaw twitched as he nodded slowly to himself. "Pike's going to be a problem."

"What happened out there, Marcus?" She asked, stepping toward him.

He sighed. "Pike wanted to leave the kid, said he was 'just a Grounder.'" He looked up at her, a line appearing between his brows. "I couldn't leave him, Abby."

His eyelids drooped, nearly closing entirely. Abby took his face in her hands, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. "I know."

"He's not safe here, is he?"

"We'll make sure he is," she whispered, leaning forward to place a light kiss on his lips. He sank into her touch, all of the worry he had been feeling escaping him as her lips moved against his. He gripped her hips and pulled her onto his lap. She smiled against his lips as his hands slid under her — his — shirt. She slid her hand into his hair, clutching him to her as his tongue parted her lips with every intent of devouring her. She sighed into his kiss, wrapping her arm around him and pressing herself firmly to him.

The _click_ of a door shutting caused his lips to break from hers, his head snapping toward the noise. Kane's eyes flared up as he looked through the doorway at the empty couch. He muttered, "Shit."

She could do nothing but allow herself to be shoved off of his lap and watch as Marcus ran out of the room. She sighed and walked into the empty living room. She picked up _East of Eden_ , the book she had selected from storage after finishing _Pride and Prejudice._ She knew she wasn't going to sleep until they were both back safe and sound.


	23. On the Precipice

_"We can't let anger drive our policy."_ \- Abby Griffin, "Watch the Thrones"

* * *

Marcus followed Benja at a distance as the boy snuck through camp, heading toward the expanding housing project. There were supposed to be two guards posted at all times since the fence was down. If memory served correct, tonight's guards were two delinquents, Paul Slater and Jones Meikle. He spotted two figures in the opening between the fences, but they weren't both male and they certainly weren't standing guard.

Benja slipped easily by the embracing couple in the shadows. Kane frowned and approached them. The couple were lost in themselves, oblivious that someone had just slipped by them. How easy would it be for an Ice Nation warrior to sneak in?

Kane stopped a few feet from them and cleared his throat. "That's no way to stand guard, cadet."

The couple broke apart and Kane's eyes flashed dangerously. Paul's face brained of all color and Rebecca's filled with it. A vein popped out on Kane's neck and he seethed, glaring at them. He didn't have time for them though, the longer he stood there, the further Benja got away.

Paul stammered, "Chancellor, I'm sorry," as Rebecca gasped simultaneously, "Marcus, I—"

"I don't want to hear it," he snapped. His jaw clenched for a moment before he recovered, taking a deep breath to control his anger. "Where's Jones?"

"Restroom, sir," Paul replied, his eyes on the ground.

Kane drew in a slow breath before saying, "I'll deal with you two later. Get inside, Rebecca. Paul, I'd better never catch you slacking off on duty again."

"Yes, sir," Paul said, relieved.

Kane took off through the open section of fence into the woods. He heard Rebecca call for him but he didn't slow. He knew exactly where the boy was going, the thought had occurred to him on his way through Alpha, but he didn't want Benja to be alone out here. It wasn't safe and Kane wished he had thought to collect the gun from his bedside table, but he had only grabbed his jacket.

"Marcus!" Rebecca called again. He could hear her loud footsteps, breaking every branch she found as she followed him. "Where are you going?"

He turned to her and sighed. "If you're going to come with me, at least be quiet about it."

She stopped in her tracks and stared at him, surprised.

He frowned and hung his head for a moment. He looked at her again, his face softening. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she whispered, stepping forward and taking his hand. The corner of his mouth quirked up as he looked down at their hands.

"Come on," he said, pulling her along.

"What are you doing out here?" She asked as they continued through the trees. He didn't reply, he kept walking at a moderate pace, his feet making barely any sound on the ground. They broke through the trees and the lake was in front of them.

Benja sat on the shoreline, his arms wrapped around his legs as he stared at the water. Rebecca's hand gripped his tighter as she whispered, "Is that the Grounder kid you found?"

Kane glanced down at her. "You heard about that?"

She rolled her eyes. "Like that wouldn't be news, Marcus." Her voice dropped to a whisper as she added, "A lot of people aren't happy about it."

He nodded. "I know."

He pulled his hand out of hers and started toward Benja, she followed slowly, letting him have his space. He heard her footsteps die away, knowing she had given up her pursuit as he neared Benja.

 _"Yu nou beda kamp raun hir._ | You shouldn't be here." Kane whispered, sitting next to him on the frosty shore. Benja looked at him, startled. He seemed relieved that it was Kane though.

" _Moba._ | I'm sorry." He whispered, turning his attention back to the water. " _Ai nomon en nontu don vout dison os in. Osir don gyon au kamp raun osir soujon._ | My mom and dad thought this was nice. We went by it on our travels."

 _"Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim_ | May we meet again," Kane muttered. Benja looked at him, curiosity on his face. A corner of his mouth lifted as he said, " _En's som osir biyo taim niron gonot._ | It's something we say when a loved one is gone."

Benja was silent for a while, staring at the water. He whispered, " _Yu seingeda don won op?_ | Has your family died?"

He felt the lump rise in his throat, finding it hard to believe that she had only died four months ago. He nodded, " _Ai nomon._ | My mother."

" _En yu nontu?_ | And your dad?" He asked, glancing up at him.

Kane's eyes hardened. " _Em don ge ban au._ | He was banished."

He didn't know how to explain floating to the boy and didn't think it was necessary, not now. Maybe one day he would tell Benja Skaikru customs, how the Ark had operated, but not when he wanted to get him back to camp. Back to safety.

" _Haukom?_ | Why?"

" _Em don nou os hef._ | He wasn't a nice guy." Kane replied, staring at the ground.

His father had been the type of man to drink himself into a stupor after his shift in maintenance. He had been the type of man to hit his wife, hit his son. He made his son want to be a better person, to not be like him, but drove him to be cold and ruthless instead. To close off from everyone, to shut everyone out, even his mother after his father was floated for beating a man over a bottle of moonshine. His father made him into the man he was on the Ark and he hated him for that.

Kane cleared his throat and looked down at Benja. " _Oso beda bak op_. | We should go back."

Benja wiped his nose and nodded. He pushed himself to his feet and Kane followed him up the slope to the tree line where Rebecca was waiting. Benja looked up at Kane. He said, " _Benja dison Rebeka._ | Benja this is Rebecca." He touched her arm and said, "Rebecca, Benja. He doesn't speak English."

She smirked and said, "I figured that out on my own. I should have attended your lessons."

He grinned. "You should have."

Kane led the way back through the trees, raising his hands in surrender when they cleared them and saw Paul and Jones, their guns trained on the woods. They lowered their weapons when they saw who it was, stepping aside to let the chancellor through. Paul averted his eyes and Rebecca blushed but they didn't speak to each other. Kane would have smirked if he wasn't still mad.

They entered Alpha and he led them to the Lee quarters. At the door, he grabbed Rebecca's arm. "Wait a second."

He turned to Benja, asking, " _Yu na set raun?_ | Can you wait?"

The boy nodded and shrank against the wall, making himself as small as possible. Kane knew how scared he was and hated making him stay out in the hallway with guards passing by. The guards made Benja feel uneasy, that much was clear from his face. Kane sighed as he turned back to Rebecca.

He said in a harsh whisper, "I never want to catch you out that close to the fence at night, not when no one's keeping watch. Don't you know how dangerous it is right now?"

She blinked at him and nodded, her head dropping to her chest. He sighed and reached out, taking her hand. He whispered, "I'm sorry, I worry. Ice Nation is mounting a war and I can't have you sneaking out like that. Okay?"

She nodded. The corner of his mouth quirked up and he released her hand. He turned to leave but she grabbed his hand again and pulled him into a hug. Kane wrapped his arms around her and let her hold him for as long as she wanted. She released him after a minute and walked into her quarters.

Marcus turned to Benja, relieved to find him still there. He beckoned for him to follow him down the hall.

" _Yu na nou ron we nodotaim, nami? En's nou klir ouder._ | You can't run away again, okay? It's not safe out there." Kane whispered as he unlocked their quarters. Benja nodded. " _Mochof._ | Thank you."

The door opened and revealed Abby asleep on the couch, a book open on her stomach. Kane smiled to himself as he walked into the room. He knelt next to her and took the book, setting it on the coffee table. He placed his hand on her shoulder and shook her lightly. Her eyes fluttered open a few moments later and she stared at him unseeing before blinking away the sleep clouding her vision.

"Marcus?"

He smiled and said, "You're on Benja's bed."

"Sorry, I wanted to stay up until you got back." She said, sitting up.

"Well, you did one hell of a good job." He said, smirking as he stood. He offered her his hand and pulled her to her feet.

" _Moba, Benja. En's yun._ | I'm sorry, Benja. It's yours." Abby said, motioning to the couch. The boy walked over and smiled at her as he sat down on the cushions.

Kane took Abby's hand and led her to their bedroom. He let the door close nearly the entire way, wanting Benja to be able to get to them if he needed to, but also wanting privacy. He pulled Abby to him and whispered in her ear, "You shouldn't wear that with a child present."

"I have shorts on," she said with a roll of her eyes.

He pulled the shirt up, peering down. "I don't think those qualify as shorts, Abby."

"No?"

He grinned. "Not at all, they might as well not be there."

Her eyes flicked down his body before meeting his hungry gaze. "Then take them off."

His eyes widened and a smile tugged at his lips, but he found himself saying, "Should we, with Benja out there? I mean it doesn't seem like the smartest—"

"Shut up, Marcus," she said, slipping his jacket off.

His eyes narrowed at her as he hoisted her up by her thighs and carried her to the bed. He pushed the blanket aside with his knee and laid her down before climbing on top of her; he pulled the blanket over them. Kane hooked his hand behind her ear and slammed his mouth against hers, stifling a moan that rose from her throat. She gripped his hair tightly and held him to her as her legs wrapped around his waist. His hand inched down her body and slid under the shirt she was wearing.

She pulled away, breathless, and whispered, "Too many clothes." She pulled at his shirt and he shook his head. Her eyebrows lowered in disappointment. She pleaded, "Marcus."

He grinned and kissed her neck as his hand slid into her underwear. A contented sigh escaped her mouth. He growled, "You need to be quiet if we're going to keep this up."

"Marcus," she pleaded again, wiggling against him. His eyes flashed dangerously and for a moment, he considered pulling away from her, leaving her to writhe in need. But he couldn't be that cruel, not to her.

He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside before unbuttoning his pants and shoving them down, kicking them out from under the blanket. She smiled when she heard them hit the floor. Abby beckoned him toward her, but he shook his head. He pulled her shorts down, balled them up, and tossed them behind him. She stifled a laugh with her hand.

Kane kissed her lips briefly as he shoved the shirt up. He continued down her body, kissing the newly exposed flesh. He parted her legs when he reached them and met her eyes as he ran his tongue over her. Abby let out a moan and his hand shot up to cover her mouth. He plunged two fingers into her and she held his hand to her mouth; he could feel the vibrations of her moans on his palm.

She unraveled under him after a long torture. She pulled him up after she recovered and pushed him onto his back, fully prepared to return the favor and drive him crazy.

* * *

Abby woke the following morning nestled in Marcus' arms, one under her head, the other draped lazily over her side. She smiled to herself and turned in his embrace to face him, pressing a soft kiss against his collarbone. She rested her head against his bicep, looking at him as he slept. His eyelids fluttered and she reached up to brush a lock of hair out of the way.

She hadn't thought it was possible to love someone after Jake, but here was Marcus Kane. This man made her life easier, loved her more than he loved himself, put her first. He cared about things with a passion she didn't know existed, he threw himself into situations because he knew it was the right thing to do. He was everything Abby needed, everything she had ever wanted. And he was _hers._

A loud knock came from the front door and Abby turned toward the noise, peering over her shoulder. She heard frantic footsteps and Benja ran into the room, his eyes wide with fear. Abby blushed and sank into Kane, pulling the blanket tighter around her — they hadn't gotten dressed before falling asleep, she now realized how stupid that had been of them. She glanced back at Kane and found his eyes open.

His arm slid up her side to pinch the bridge of his nose. He actually started chuckling quietly. She smacked him under the blanket, hissing, "It's not funny."

"It's a little funny," he whispered back. The boy was at the edge of the bed, right next to Abby. Kane propped himself up on an elbow and looked at him, he said, " _En's ogud, Benja._ | It's okay, Benja." Kane reached over the side of the bed for his pants and called out, "Be right there!"

Abby buried her face in the pillow, too embarrassed by the situation to look at the boy in their room. She felt Kane pull his pants on while under the covers then his weight was gone from the bed. She lifted her head up in time to see him pull a shirt on as he led the way out of the room, Benja following. She sighed and sank back into the pillow.

Kane came back a few minutes later, peeking his head into the room. He said, "You should get dressed, Indra's in the Council chamber and I don't think she'll appreciate you in your current state as much as I do."

"Shut up, Marcus." He grinned and shut the door. She smiled to herself before sliding out of bed.

* * *

Indra wasn't the only waiting in the Council chamber; Nyko, Jackson, and Lincoln sat around the table too. Kane and Abby sat down between Jackson and Lincoln; they had sent Benja along with Bellamy, who had brought the news of Indra's arrival. They knew he would keep the boy safe.

"How is the boy?" Indra asked, surprising Marcus. He raised an eyebrow at the Grounder chief. "Lincoln told us."

"Better than he was yesterday," he said.

"Lincoln says he's from Podakru." Kane nodded. Indra continued, "You'll have a hard time returning him to his people. They have fled back to their territory, fearing Azgeda."

"As they should," Nyko said. "Azgeda grows restless, more ruthless. Skaikru joining the Coalition has angered them more."

"The Ice Queen challenged the Commander's rule yesterday. She called for a vote of no confidence." Indra said.

"What does that mean?" Abby asked.

"It means, last night, Lexa fought for her life, for her position, against Nia's challenger." Nyko said darkly.

"Do we know what happened?" Kane asked.

"We left before the challenger was even named," Indra said. "I assume it was Nia's son."

"What happens if Lexa failed?" Kane asked bluntly. Both Indra and Nyko looked at him harshly. Indra spat, "Lexa couldn't have failed."

Abby exchanged a glance with Kane before saying, "Let's move on. What about Mount Weather? Nyko, have you found any more healers willing to work from within the Mountain?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. But I'm close to one."

"One?" Jackson asked. "We need more than that. We can't run the Mountain with two doctors, two trainees, and two healers."

"We'll make due," Abby assured him. She asked Nyko, "Have you made any progress on collecting the Reapers?"

He nodded. "They're in the tunnels, growing weak without their doses. We should be able to round them up and get them into the Mountain without too much trouble."

"We'll need to send a team to restore power to the Mountain," Abby said, looking at Kane.

He nodded, scratching his beard thoughtfully. "I'll send one out this morning. Sinclair's been dying to get his hands on those turbines."

"What about Azgeda?" Lincoln asked. "They won't like us going into the Mountain more. They won't like this hospital."

"Let my warriors worry about Azgeda, Lincoln," Indra said as she stood. She beckoned for Nyko to follow her and, reluctantly, he walked to the door.

Kane glanced at Abby before he called after them. "Indra, what about the boy?"

"He's Podakru," she said heartlessly. "We won't take him, not when Azgeda is hunting them. You saved him, he's your problem."

Their footsteps echoed in the hall. Lincoln said, "Indra's right, Benja could mean trouble for us. If Azgeda's hunting Podakru, it's best to stay out of their way. The boy is dangerous for us, for this camp."

Abby said, "We're not turning him away."

"If Nia finds out we're harboring someone from Podakru, it could mean death for all of us."

Kane's eyes narrowed and he growled, "I'm not sending an innocent child to his death."

"It's not like you haven't done it before," Lincoln snapped.

Kane was about to retort when Charles Pike stormed into the room, blood down his shirt and fury in his eyes. He walked right to Kane and spun his chair around, jabbing him in the chest as he shouted, "Your damn Grounder friends killed Spokane."

Kane stared at him blankly as a silent tension fell over the room.

Pike's eyes were bulging as he said, "Hello! Is anyone in there?"

"I don't know who you think my Grounder friends are, but they certainly aren't Ice Nation. And Ice Nation are the only ones who would kill one of us."

"I don't give a damn what they call themselves," Pike said. "Let me go after them—"

"And risk more men?" Kane shouted, rising from his seat to glare down at him. "There's no way I'd let you do that."

"You'd rob me of that justice?" Pike said, his teeth clenching in an effort to not throttle the chancellor.

"That's not justice, Pike, that's revenge," Kane said, crossing his arms over his chest, his fists clenching. "The army's here now, they'll take care of Ice Nation for us."

"The Grounder army, you mean," he spat back. "They'll sooner turn on us than protect us." He jabbed his thumb in Lincoln's direction. "Just because you've got this one trained, doesn't mean they're all good little Grounders."

"Excuse me?" Lincoln snarled as he pushed himself out of his seat.

"You really think you're one of us, don't you?" Pike asked, stepping closer to Lincoln so they were nearly chest to chest. "You can dress like us, but you're just another savage."

Lincoln's fists clenched and Kane put his hand on his shoulder, pulling him back before he could punch Pike, though he certainly deserved it. He put himself between the two men and said, "That's enough, Charles. I'll deal with Spokane's death how I see fit."

"Of course you will, _Chancellor_ ," Pike scoffed. "You and your savages will take care of everything, right?"

Kane stared at him as he stormed out of the room. He turned back to the table and was met with stunned expressions on both Abby and Jackson's faces. Abby whispered, "You know he's not going sit by and let you handle this."

"Lincoln, you're on guard tonight?" Kane asked. Lincoln nodded. "Make sure he doesn't leave camp."

Lincoln nodded again and walked toward the door, but Kane caught his arm and whispered, "By any means necessary."


	24. In the Deep End

**I meant to get this to you all so much sooner, but I've been celebrating the news that I'll be moving to South Korea in a few months to teach! So, without further ado, here's another chapter! Enjoy, or don't - even I have mixed feelings about this one!**

* * *

 _"There are some lines you can't uncross."_ \- Bellamy Blake, "Reapercussions"

* * *

The pounding was incessant and Benja shouted something from the living room. Kane rolled over in bed, turning on the lamp to look at his watch that lay on the bedside table. _4 o'clock_. He groaned and slid out of the warm bed in search of pants.

"I thought these were our private quarters," Abby grumbled as she snatched up his pillow to put over her head. He smiled as he stepped into his jeans.

"This is what you get when you live with the chancellor," Kane said, fastening the button on his jeans.

"This didn't happen when _I_ was Chancellor," she said as he pulled a shirt out from a drawer.

"You're right," he said. He leaned across the bed to kiss her. He murmured against her lips, "They'll go away eventually."

"Get the damn door, Marcus," she said, pushing him away.

He smiled and pulled the shirt over his head as he walked out of the room. The knocking was much louder out there and Benja was sitting up on the couch, his arms around his knees. He looked up at Kane as he walked by.

Kane said, " _Em na ste os._ | It will be okay."

The boy nodded and Kane punched the keypad to unlock the door. Bellamy Blake fell through the doorway, pounding so hard his body was thrown forward. Kane caught him, steadying him on his feet.

"Bellamy, it's 4 a.m., what are y—" but Kane stopped mid-sentence after taking a good look at him.

He was pale and trembling, sweat on his forehead, his shirt soaked through with it under his guard jacket. His eyes were wide as he stared at Kane, his breaths shaking from him as his chest heaved. Kane gripped his shoulders and asked, "Are you okay, son?"

Bellamy shook his head, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, tears slid down his cheeks. His voice broke as he spoke, "Sir, Pike, he, he…"

Kane's grip on his shoulders tightened. "Bellamy, what happened?"

"He…attacked Indra's army. Killed them all," he managed to say through clenched teeth. He looked at the ground as he choked out, "My sister…"

Kane felt a coldness settle over him, filling his stomach and spreading out from there. He sent Octavia to the camp the afternoon before to make sure Indra had everything she needed. She hadn't returned before nightfall.

Without thinking, Kane wrapped his arms around the younger man. Bellamy's face burying in Kane's shoulder as he crushed the Chancellor with the weight of his sorrow. He felt his shirt soak through where Bellamy's face was, but that didn't matter, what mattered was making Bellamy feel safe, feel like he had someone still. Kane clutched the man with all of his might, hiding his own despair over Octavia so her brother could grieve. The ache in his throat threatened to let a cry out but he swallowed it.

After a few minutes of holding the man, Kane felt a hand on his lower back. He hoped she would have gone back to sleep, but Bellamy's voice must have carried into the bedroom. He should have shut the door.

She whispered, "How did this happen? How did Pike get out?"

Bellamy's eyes opened and he looked at Abby over Marcus' shoulder. He choked out, "They shot Lincoln."

* * *

Their footsteps echoed through the otherwise silent hallway. They neared the door and Kane was surprised Bellamy was still upright. The man's skin was ashen — as it had been when he opened the door — but there was a danger in his eyes now. A fire that burned within the brown, churning up a fury in Bellamy's blood.

Kane's fist pounded on the door and it opened surprisingly quick. Charles Pike was fully dressed, wearing exactly what he had been when he barged into the meeting the morning before, although there was significantly more blood on it, barely any of the original blue visible in the fabric. A smirk was on his face as he lifted his chin toward Kane.

Kane cleared his throat and stared at Pike, remaining as calm as he could. "Charles Pike, for the crimes of genocide and attempted murder, I hereby sentence you to indefinite imprisonment, awaiting trial by the Council."

Pike laughed quietly. "You're weak, Kane. I did what you didn't have the stomach to do."

Kane's nostrils flared as he stared at the man. "You slaughtered _300_ _innocent people_ , Charles!"

"I did what was necessary for the safety of this camp!" Pike spat back.

"You're not in charge here!" Kane yelled, his hands lashing out in Pike's direction. He clenched his fists to his sides, trying to rein in his rage.

"And you shouldn't be, Marcus! You don't have the strength to do what is necessary."

Kane was breathing heavily as he glared at the other man. Bellamy placed a hand on Kane's shoulder. He whispered, _"Focus."_

"Take him away!" Kane snarled, glaring at Pike. Two of the guards behind Bellamy and Kane pulled Pike from his quarters and led him down the hallway. Kane turned to the other guards and said, "You know who to arrest."

They nodded. "Yes, Chancellor."

Bellamy glanced at Kane, curiosity on his face. "Sir? I thought we were arresting Farm Station?"

" _They're_ arresting Farm Station," Kane said, nodding at the retreating backs of the guards. "We're going to the massacre site. There's no way Octavia isn't still alive. She's resilient, Bellamy. She got out."

A small smile spread on his face. "Thank you, sir."

* * *

The walk to the massacre site was eerily quiet; neither man spoke, both lost in their own head. Kane couldn't say anything more about Octavia anyway, not when he didn't know if she was alive or dead. He didn't want to give Bellamy false hope.

He had other things on his mind, something he would never admit to Bellamy because he was ashamed by it. He _should_ be focused on finding Octavia, on avenging those who had been killed. But all he could think about were the words Pike had spoken, they hung over his head, pushing down on him with each step he took, forcing him deeper into the mud.

 _You don't have the strength to do what is necessary._ A lot of people had told him what kind of leader he was, but he had never been called a weak one. Thelonious Jaha had told him the opposite: _you have a strength that is not weakened by sentiment_. But, Kane didn't hold much stock in either man since coming to the Ground. Both used to be as close to friends as the Marcus Kane of the Ark allowed himself to have; now, one was nothing to him — something of an enemy really — and the other was…gone.

Jaha was wrong though, all Kane had was sentiment. He was plagued by guilt, by compassion, by _love_. The Ground had made him weak, the Culling had made him weak. Or had it made him stronger? He still wasn't sure which it was. Abby would argue he was stronger for his experiences, for his faults, but she still saw the good in him. He wasn't so sure. It seemed like every decision he made on his own was the wrong one.

Joining the Coalition had only brought death to 300 warriors and turmoil to Arkadia. That had been entirely his own decision, albeit swayed by Clarke. He could have said _no_. He hadn't though, and their blood was on his hands too. Another 300 to add to his long list of kills.

What was he up to now? The mid-600s? They weighed on his consciousness, filled his nightmares, caused him to wake in a cold sweat only to have Abby whisper that everything was okay. They fueled his self-loathing, his shame. He thought he had been doing better, but this new round of death made him desperate to right his wrongs, to atone for everything he had done.

"Sir," Bellamy's voice broke through his thoughts. Kane glanced at him and saw that he had stopped. He turned his head forward and felt his shoulders slump on their own accord, it was like they had deflated, shrunk into his spine. His legs felt weak, but somehow, he managed to stay upright. He drew in a breath, his hand going to his mouth.

His fingers ran over his lip as he surveyed the scene. The 300 bodies lay before them, some on the slope at their feet, others at the foot of the hill, all dead. He watched as Bellamy ran down the hill, turning over the bodies that lay with their backs to the sky. Even from a distance, Kane could see Bellamy vigorously shaking his head each time he didn't find _her_.

Kane started down the slope, taking care not to slip on the blood that soaked the grass. He felt lightheaded, like he was going to vomit. He glanced down at the body in front of him, a girl no older than fifteen. Kane's eyes closed as he held his hand to his mouth. He could feel the tears pricking at the back of his eyes but he blinked them away and kept walking toward Bellamy.

 _"No, no, no,"_ the other man was muttering. His hands tore through his hair as he yelled, "Come on!"

Kane gripped his shoulder. "Son, we don't know who's listening. We should be quick." Bellamy had fresh tears in his eyes as he turned and stared at Kane, his jaw tightening. Kane said sternly, "Bellamy, search the woods. You don't want to be the one to find her down here."

"And you do?" He asked, his voice tight.

Kane swallowed hard and shook his head. " _No._ But it's better that I do than you. Go."

Bellamy hesitated for a moment, but started up the slope nonetheless. Kane watched him go before he turned back to the bodies and started the search. He took care as he turned the bodies, as if they could still feel. He set his jaw, forcing himself not to think about how these people had all been killed, to not look at the bullet wounds.

The sounds of the hooves reached his ears first. Marcus turned and it was a solid minute before the horses came into view. Several riders were on the path above on the hill, a cart being pulled by one of the horses. The riders stopped at the sight of the bodies. One of the riders shouted, " _Heda!"_

 _Lexa_. Kane picked his way through the bodies, careful not to tread on one. He heard heavy footfalls behind him and glanced over his shoulder to see Bellamy running toward him, jumping over bodies, hand on his gun. Kane held up his hand and Bellamy slowed to a walk but kept coming.

Kane climbed the small hill and stood before the Commander, surprised to see Clarke by her side. They towed the body of the Ice Queen in the cart. He had so many questions, but no time to ask them as Lexa spat harshly, "How could you do this?"

"Lexa, you can't possibly think Kane would do this," Clarke said, a plea in her voice. Kane glanced at her, something of a thanks in his eyes. Bellamy came to stand next to him, his hand firmly on his gun now.

"Stand down," Kane muttered to him.

 _"Sir,"_ Bellamy's voice was strained but warning. He shot a look at Marcus, who ignored him as he stared up at the Commander.

Kane's eyes were hard as he answered, "One of my people did this, Commander. He feared the army and took matters into his own hands."

"And you let it happen?" Lexa said, her face unreadable, but her voice was laced with venom.

Kane's heartbeat quickened, sweat erupting on his back. Still, he stood his ground, crossing his arms behind his back, keeping them away from the gun that was slung across his chest. _"No."_

"And yet, here we are." Lexa said, her arm sweeping across the bloody field. "This won't stand. Skaikru will answer for this massacre." She called to her warriors who had hopped off their horses. Kane eyed them warily. " _Hon emo daun!_ | Take them!"


	25. Turbulence

_"Violence is all these people seem to understand."_ \- Raven Reyes, "Unity Day"

* * *

Abby ran her hands through her hair before wiping her eyes free of the tears. She wiped the wetness on her thighs, her hands shaking against the fabric. She clenched her fists together, trying to stop the tremor. She glanced over at Lincoln, sedated on his cot. His upper torso was bandaged, his arm in a sling to stabilize his shoulder.

If Pike was any better of a shot, they would be digging a grave right now. She looked down at the bullet in the saucer. Jackson had been pulling it from the Grounder when she arrived in Medical earlier. He hadn't wanted the sedation, Jackson admitted, but he forced it on him to keep him in his cot; Lincoln wanted to go after Pike the second he was conscious again, which happened not long after arriving in Medical. Abby didn't blame Jackson for slipping it in with his pain medication.

After everything Lincoln had done for their people, this was his thanks? He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve hardship after everything he had endured during the war. She had seen this man come back from being turned into a Reaper, from trying to kill his own girlfriend and her brother because the Mountain made him that way. And here he was, shot by a man who saw him as just another Grounder. All Grounders weren't the same, surely Pike had to know that somewhere in his biased brain.

"Abby."

She jumped in her seat before taking a deep breath. Looking to the door, she found Raven Reyes. Abby asked, "What are you doing here?"

Raven held up a very red hand, a sheepish smile on her face. "Stanhope's hopeless, can Sinclair send him back?"

She forced a smile as Raven walked toward her, knowing that her joke meant well but Abby was too stressed to really care. She hadn't realized that so many hours had passed, that the work day had begun. _Is Benja awake? Is he with Marcus?_

Raven hopped onto a cot. "Is it true? The rumor that's going around?"

Abby filled a bowl with cool water and brought it over to Raven, ordering her to stick her burned hand in it as she gathered up the supplies she would need. She could feel Raven's eyes on her as she moved around the room, but she didn't really want to talk about the massacre. She walked over to Lincoln and absently adjusted his bandages as she waited for the water to do its job on the burn.

"Hello! Earth to Abby," Raven called after a few minutes. Reluctantly, Abby turned to her and nodded. Raven's eyes flickered to Lincoln. "So Pike really shot him? Killed that whole army?"

Again, Abby nodded, not trusting her voice to stay as strong as she wanted it to.

"Where's Kane?"

She shrugged. "My guess would be with Pike, interrogating him."

"About what? He already knows that he did it," Raven replied, eyebrows raising. Abby pulled a stool up in front of her and motioned for her hand. She dried the burn, cleaning it before she started to put the ointment on. "Is he looking into the resistance still?"

"Of course he is," Abby answered, staring at the burned flesh, her hands not moving anymore.

Raven's other hand rested on Abby's shoulder and their eyes met. "Hey, I'm not questioning him. Kane's doing all he can, Abby. Everything will be okay."

Abby shook her head. "You call this okay?"

"I said it _will be_ okay, not that it _is_ okay. We'll get there," Raven said, her thumb stroking over Abby's shoulder. The older woman nodded and went back to tending the wound in silence. She covered it in gauze and was wrapping a loose bandage over it when she heard loud, thundering footsteps coming down the hallway.

The doors slid open and Octavia ran through, doubling over, out-of-breath. Abby jumped to her feet, her heart racing at the sight of the girl. A smile crossed her face and she sighed in relief. "Octavia, you're okay."

Octavia's head shot up and her eyes caught Abby's. She sprinted over to her and grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the door. Abby pulled back, "What's wrong?"

"We have to go," she said breathlessly. "Lexa came across the massacre site and took Kane and Bellamy—"

Her voice cut off when her eyes found Lincoln and she rushed over to him. Octavia looked to Abby and asked, "What happened?"

"Pike shot him to escape. He'll be fine though, he's a warrior." Abby said, frowning. Octavia nodded, running her hand along his jaw. "Octavia, Kane and Bellamy are here—"

"No, they're not, Abby." Octavia said, turning away from her boyfriend. She walked toward the doctor and put her hands on her shoulders. "I saw them when I went back to look for other survivors."

"Other survivors—"

"Abby, we have to _go!_ Lexa's taking them to Polis to be punished for the massacre. My brother. Your boyfriend… _our chancellor._ " Octavia grabbed Abby's hand and tried to pull her toward the door but Abby's feet were frozen in place, cemented to the floor.

Abby shook her head, her eyes tight with emotion. "He's not there, it's not him."

Raven hopped off the bed and said, "We can still catch Lexa, can't we? They're on horses."

Octavia shook her head. "Indra was injured in the attack, it took me hours to drag her the mile back here. I couldn't leave her," her eyes closed. "I just couldn't."

It was like Abby had barely heard them, like she was submerged in water and their voices were drifting to her from shore. He wasn't at the massacre site, he was in Lockup with Pike and the other shooters, with Bellamy and the guard. He was fine, he was _safe_. Abby whispered, "I have to talk to David."

She started toward the door but Raven caught her arm. "Have you been listening, Abby? We have to get to Polis."

"He's not there!" She spat harshly. She closed her eyes and let out a rattled breath before whispering, "He can't be."

Octavia whispered to Raven, "I'll meet you at the rover."

Raven nodded and grabbed Abby's arm, asking, "Where's Miller?"

* * *

They found him in the training room, going over the guard rotation with his son. The Millers looked up, surprised by their appearance in the doorway. Abby rushed over to David as he asked, "I'm not overlooking a Council meeting, am I?"

"Where's Marcus?" She asked, clutching at his arm.

"He took Bellamy to find Octavia," David said uncertainly, glancing down at her fingers digging into his arm. "He told me to carry out the arrests for the ten members of Farm Station responsible for the massacre."

Abby stared at him, the corners of her eyes tightening. She released him after a moment and backed away. Raven caught her as she trembled, her legs threatening to send her to the floor. Raven whispered, "Hey, we'll get him back, Lexa can't do anything to him, he's our leader."

Abby took a deep breath and her jaw set as she nodded. She gripped Raven's forearm tight and hoped that the younger woman realized she was thanking her. She needed those words, she needed that hope. She couldn't think that Marcus was going to die.

She looked at the Millers and said, "Can you watch over Benja while we're gone? David, you know the key code; Nate, you know the language." They nodded curtly. "Tell him… _Abi en Markos na komba raun dena. Ste os._ | Abby and Marcus will be back soon. Be good."

Nate nodded again. Raven pulled Abby toward the door as David called out, "Abby, what's going on?"

Abby's eyes tightened as she said, "Marcus is being punished for the massacre. David, you know who to trust. You know who to watch out for here. You and Sinclair are in charge."

"Abby, I—"

His words were lost as Raven pulled her from the room. She shot a glare at Raven but the younger woman just continued to tow her along toward the hangar. Raven whispered, "We have to hurry, Abby. David understands the urgency."

"They deserve to know what needs to be done." Abby reasoned.

"And Kane deserves a speedy rescue," she replied. "Bellamy too. I think that's more important."

Abby knew she was right and didn't know why she was so worried about leaving Arkadia. Pike and several of the anti-Grounders were locked up, what was there to worry about? Kane should be her top priority — who knew what Lexa was going to do to him? She couldn't bring herself to think about him though, she didn't want to start. She needed distraction; she knew that if she started thinking about all of the horrible things that could be happening to him, she would fall apart and even someone like Raven couldn't pick her up and put her back together.

She remembered the last time he had been taken prisoner by the Grounders, it seemed like forever ago. Nearly four months since she had felt this helpless, this lost. She thought he was dead last time, gone from her forever. She wasn't going to let herself think that this time. She was going to give herself hope, because that's what Marcus Kane was to her. She didn't want to imagine a future without him.

Octavia was leaning against the bumper of the rover, the back door open. She pushed herself to her feet and tossed a med pack at Abby, who caught it on reflex. Her eyes were wide and questioning. Octavia said, "We need you in the back, Abby."

Raven continued to the driver's door while Octavia hopped into the back, holding her hand out to Abby to help her in. She shut the door behind them as Abby stared down at the woman on the metal floor. Indra lay bleeding, poorly bandaged up, on a makeshift stretcher.

Octavia sat down on one of the bench seats and muttered, "I tried my best with her."

Abby squeezed her upper arm. "You did great."

The rover kicked to life and Raven signaled to one of the workers in the room to open the door. It rose steadily and the gate ahead swung open. Raven glanced back at them and asked, "Can you work with a little turbulence?"

"That's all there is down here, Raven, I think I'll be fine." Abby said. Raven smirked and shifted the rover into gear, taking off. Once they were clear of the gate, she really tested the vehicle's limits, seeing how fast it could go.

Abby looked down at Indra and saw that she was unresponsive, she called over her shoulder to Octavia, "How long has she been like this?"

"She was never very conscious," she admitted, staring at the chief of Tondc.

Abby opened the med kit and began to work on cleaning Indra's wounds. She said, "Tell me about the attack."

Octavia sighed. "I didn't really know what was happening at first; I was in the woods, keeping watch, trying to help out. I knew I should have gone back to camp, but I missed it, you know? Feeling that useful, being with the Grounders. I didn't realize it was gunfire, I thought it was Azgeda attacking. But when I got to the edge of the forest, I saw Pike and his men on the hill, firing down at the warriors sitting by their fires. The archers lay dead by the trees. The seconds on patrol ran toward the noise…I didn't."

Her head hung toward her chest and Abby's hands stilled on Indra's shoulder. She glanced over at the girl, frowning. "Octavia, there's no shame in not running toward certain death."

Octavia looked at her. "Lincoln would have."

"Lincoln wouldn't endanger himself like that, not anymore." Abby said, turning back to Indra's wounds. "How did Indra make it out?"

"She wouldn't have if I hadn't been such a coward," Octavia whispered. "As Pike and his men were killing the other wounded, I saw her near my hiding spot. I couldn't let her die there. I snuck down and dragged her up the hill. I got her as far away from the site as I could before I went back. It was light by then, that's when I saw—"

"Marcus and Bellamy," Abby whispered, her eyes closing.

Octavia nodded solemnly, though no one actually saw her. "Lexa won't actually do anything to them, right? It's all a scare tactic — it has to be."

"Yes, it has to be," Abby said, though she knew she wasn't convincing anyone, least of all herself.

* * *

 **R** **eviews are always welcomed! :) Let me know how I'm doing and how you feel about Kane and Bellamy's predicament/Lexa's decision/Abby's reaction, etc. I love hearing what you all have to say! -TenToo**


	26. Wamplei Gon Kein

**Again, there's a lot of Trigedasleng in this chapter. If you see a mistake, please let me know so I can correct it! Thanks :)**

 **"Wamplei Gon Kein" = "Death To Kane"**

* * *

 _"_ _What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."_ \- Octavia Blake, "Survival of the Fittest"

* * *

The cell was small, Kane thought it might have been a closet back when the building was whatever it used to be. Offices? Condos? Who knew; it was lost to the apocalypse now.

Despite the fact that Bellamy and Kane sat against opposite walls, their feet knocked together whenever they moved. If the door opened with any force, it would knock Bellamy unconscious and he would be trapped behind the wood.

Kane pushed his manacle further down his leg, trying to slip his heel through it. He had been in this position before, captured by the same commander, and he didn't like his chances of coming out relatively unscathed again.

"What's the use, Kane?" Bellamy asked, leaning his head against the wall. His forearms rested on his knees as he stared at a spot next to Kane's head. "Even if we escape, it's a 35-story drop outside that window. And I don't see us fighting our way down the stairs without weapons."

Kane's hands stilled, no longer working the metal against his heel. "I expected some fight out of you."

Bellamy's eyes had been wet all morning, but when he looked at Kane again, they were red, screwed up in the pain of his loss. "Yeah, well, I don't really see the point."

Kane pulled his hands away from the manacle and rested them on his knees. "Bellamy, just because we didn't find her, doesn't mean Octavia's not still—"

"Just stop!" Bellamy spat. His hand tore through his hair from the back. "Stop telling me she's okay! She's not okay! My sister's dead and it's your fault!"

Kane's shoulders sank as he closed his eyes, letting his head fall against the wall harder than he should have. The pain was almost welcomed compared to the aches all over his body. Lexa had let her warriors rough them up on the way into the city despite Clarke's protests, but she was just as much a prisoner as them now.

When he opened his eyes, he could feel the tears threatening to show themselves but he clenched his jaw, trying to keep them at bay. After a few seconds, he composed himself and let his face go blank as he looked at Bellamy. The boy's face was still screwed up in pain as he glared at him. Marcus forced himself to meet his eyes.

"We all make choices that have unintended consequences," Kane whispered. "I have more ghosts hanging over my head than I should — 620 of them that could have been avoided."

Bellamy looked away, slouching further down the wall, his knees hitting Kane's. Bellamy let out a sigh before meeting his eyes again. Kane asked, gently, "What is it?"

"Was the Council monitoring the radio once they knew Raven was sent to Earth?" Bellamy asked, his voice cracking.

Kane's eyes narrowed and his mouth opened slightly. He swallowed a lump in his throat and said, "Yes, once we knew Abby sent her, we had someone on that radio at all times. We didn't want to do what we knew had to be done to buy time on the Ark. But the Culling happened, we knew too late that you were all alive down here."

Bellamy wrapped his arms around his knees, nodding to himself.

"Why do you ask?" Kane prodded.

He let out a rattled breath. "I'm the one who threw Raven's radio in the lake."

"That's why you resorted to the flares," Kane said quietly, nodding slowly.

"Their blood is on my hands just as much as yours."

Kane felt an ache in his throat and tried to clear it. He reached over and touched Bellamy's knee, gripping it firmly. "No, it's not. You couldn't have known what we were doing, you had no communication with us. You were looking out for your own well-being, Bellamy. You were trying to save your life. Don't you dare put that on yourself."

Bellamy nodded, letting his eyes shut slowly.

"We will get out of here. We will find your sister," Kane whispered, squeezing Bellamy's knee before pulling away. His head turned toward the door at the sound of the footsteps in the hallway. Bellamy shuffled away from the door as much as he could.

It opened a few seconds later and Titus stood in the opening. His eyes were hard as he glared down at Kane, ignoring Bellamy completely. He leaned down and chained up his hands before undoing his leg manacle. Titus yanked Kane to his feet. " _Heda gaf yu in. Taim don kom op gada in gon yu kripon._ | The Commander wants you. It's time for you to answer for your crimes."

"He didn't do anything!" Bellamy shouted. Titus turned to him and smacked him around the face; Bellamy fell limply against the wall.

* * *

The rover screeched to a halt at the Polis city limits. Abby threw open the back door and jumped out. Octavia helped Indra to her feet and, together with Abby, helped her out of the vehicle.

"We should hurry, the Commander isn't known to delay with her threats." Indra said, heading toward the trail that led into the city. Though her voice was weak, her movements were anything but. Abby had patched her up as best she could, her arm in a sling and her leg heavily bandaged, but Indra was moving like they weren't there at all. Octavia kept close to her just in case the pain became too much.

Abby called, "Raven, let's go!"

Raven opened the door and said, "I would just slow you down, besides, someone has to stick with the radio."

Abby frowned at her but didn't press it. Raven had a point; they had already wasted so much time, _Abby_ had already wasted so much time by denying that Marcus wasn't in danger. She nodded and set off after the other two.

They were running through the woods, passing travelers heading to Polis, people who looked at them like they were crazy. Indra kept up somehow, Abby didn't know how she was doing it. Her resilience amazed her. They broke through the trees and didn't give the beautiful city a passing look as they ran down the hill, their destination far off in the distance.

Abby's feet couldn't carry her fast enough as she sprinted through the capital, seeing no faces in the crowd, only the tower in front of them. She was the first to reach it, despite being the oldest of the trio. A sentry stood at the entrance door, a spear clenched in his fist.

" _Beja, ai gaf yu teik ai in!_ | Please, I need you to let me in!" She pleaded, staring at the man with renewed tears in her eyes now that she was so close. _He's here._ But if this man didn't allow them entrance, their journey had been for nothing.

 _"Nou Skaikru deyon. Heda hedon._ | No Sky People today. The Commander's orders."

Indra and Octavia had reached her and the chief of Tondc limped toward the guard, fury written on every inch of her face. She snarled, " _Yu na gaf osir in au ai na jok yu teisa au!_ | You will let us in or I'll rip your tongue out!" Her fists clenched, ripping open the healing flesh and causing blood to dribble down the back of her hands. He stepped aside after a moment of internal deliberation despite the fact that he was the only one armed.

The forty flights of stairs felt like nothing to Abby. The fact that Marcus was here somewhere kept her going. He gave her strength, like he always had. The hope that he was still alive pulled her up those stairs like a rope. She had accepted long ago that hope was everything, but it wasn't until a few months ago that she really understood what hope was.

Hope was waking up in his arms after a nightmare where the Mountain Men seemed so real, their drills so loud. Hope was laying in bed and talking about their past because they had finally accepted the other for who they truly were. Hope was planning for a future because she felt like they had one because of him. Hope was watching him with Bellamy or Octavia, Clarke or Benja, and knowing that this man — this insufferable man she used to hate with every fibre of her being — was the only person who could bring her back when she was on the verge of losing it, to take her to the edge of oblivion and return her to her senses in one piece, to make her feel like she was wanted. Hope _was_ Marcus Kane and, to her, that was enough. It would always be enough.

Hope was what drove Abby through the doors of Lexa's throne room, but fear was what stopped her dead in her tracks.

She took the room in in a matter of seconds. The 13 clan leaders stood near the far wall, Clarke among them, watching as the Flamekeeper kicked what looked to be a large sack of flour on the floor. But she knew it was Marcus, curled in a ball, too weak to fight anymore. His shirt had been ripped from him, she saw it discarded on the floor just outside of the blood that smeared along the tiles. They bared his chest and back so the other leaders could see the damage that was being done.

Clarke's face was buried in the Ice King's chest, unable to watch the beating. Roan looked across the room at Abby's arrival, there was something of an apology in his eyes. She had so many questions about this new friendship with the leader of Ice Nation, but no time to voice them. Abby's chest rose and fell, heaving with the effort to control herself. She watched Roan turn Clarke around, Clarke protesting until their eyes met and she called out a weak, _"Mom?"_

Lexa looked toward Abby, her cold eyes masked in war paint. She said calmly, " _Mounin_ , _Abi kom Skaikru_. | Welcome, Abby of the Sky People."

Abby felt a chill go down her spine, the contrast of the Commander's eyes and voice setting her on edge. Her breath came in a rush as she glanced over at Titus again, who kicked Marcus in the ribs. She heard a small cry come from the bleeding mess on the floor and a heat filled her chest. _He's still alive._

She turned back to Lexa and said, " _Yu nou don dula dison._ | You don't have to do this."

Lexa's voice was cold this time. " _Em ste don. Em gonplei ste dena odon._ | It is done. His fight is nearly over."

A weak voice croaked from the floor, " _Ai gonplei nou ste odon nowe._ | My fight is never over."

Abby's eyes tightened and she pressed her lips together to keep from crying out in relief. She couldn't look at him for fear of losing it completely. She couldn't see what Titus was doing to him, hearing it was enough. She had to make Lexa call it off.

Lexa commented, almost bored, " _Em kik raun._ | He lives."

Clarke's eyes flared up in anger and she pulled away from Roan, who growled, "Don't make it worse."

" _Shof op_ | Be quiet," she snapped as she strode across the room toward her mother and the Commander, shoving aside two guards who tried to stop her. "I kept my silence long enough. You've had your fun, Lexa. Let Kane go."

Lexa glared at her. " _Jus drein jus daun."_

" _Kein don nou daun!_ | Kane didn't do that!" Abby turned to the door and found Octavia holding up a gasping and pale Indra. The forty flights had been too much for the warrior in her condition.

"Indra," Lexa said, a hint of surprise in her voice. She held up a hand and the sounds of the beating stopped. Abby closed her eyes, breathing slowly to control herself. She opened them again when Clarke took her hand. Lexa looked toward her ambassadors, scanning each of their faces before looking at Clarke and Abby. " _Ai ron disha hef em sonraun op. If eni kru-de nou badan kongeda op, seim na kom em au._ | I give this man his life. If any clan disobeys the coalition, the same will come to them." She looked back to the 12 leaders and shouted, " _Gon yo we!_ | Everyone out!"

Eleven of the leaders filed out of the room, not bothering to look at the bloody man on the floor. Roan stayed at his spot against the wall. Titus approached Lexa once the door was shut, " _Heda, disha Skaikru gada nou mou biyo hasta flosh klin._ | Commander, these Sky People have no more to say about the massacre."

She glared at him, " _Ai gaf sen in hashta dison kom Skaikru noumou._ | I need to hear about this from the Sky People themselves."

" _Heda—"_

Lexa shot from her throne, glaring at her advisor, " _Titos, ai laik Heda, nou yu! Gon we!_ | Titus, I'm the Commander, not you! Go!" Titus staggered back a step at her outburst. He gave her a stiff bow before he backed out of the room, cradling what looked like a broken knuckle. Lexa said loudly as the door shut, _"Haihefa Rowin, haukom yu ste kamp raun hir?_ | King Roan, why are you still here?"

Clarke nudged Abby's hand with hers and whispered, "Go to him."

She pulled away from her daughter as the King of Ice Nation approached Lexa. He gave her a comforting look, but she barely saw it. Her eyes were on the bloody man on the floor. But what Roan said made her pause as she knelt next to Kane. " _Azgeda jos ste kom teina dison kom Skaikru._ | Ice Nation is just as entangled in this as the Sky People."

" _Ai beda konge Titos?_ | Should I summon Titus?" Lexa asked, flicking an eyebrow up lazily.

" _Taim yu gaf in, taim ai na teik gonplei in. Ba Kein don laksen pleni gon Azgeda en Skaikru._ | If you want, then I'll accept the fight. But Kane's been hurt enough for both Ice Nation and the Sky People." Roan said, his voice challenging. He wasn't about to back down from Lexa. "My people are at war with themselves, I will not make excuses for what those who choose to renounce my title do. Instead, I choose to take responsibility for their actions. I stand with Skaikru. Their fate is my fate."

Abby smiled as she sunk down in the blood that surrounded Kane, sitting cross-legged. He was curled on his side, his eyes closed, agony written on every inch of his face. Abby looked at his back first and ran her hand lightly over the bruises that were forming there, he let out a whimper and his eyes opened as much as they could.

She sank her head against his shoulder and whispered, "It's okay, Marcus. You're going to be okay."

She pulled away from him to continue her assessment. He rolled onto his back and cried out — it was a pathetic sound and she knew he would never have let that escape him if he could help it. He was looking up at her now, his head at her knees. Abby lifted his head up and scooted under him before lowering it down, allowing him to rest his head in her lap. He smiled weakly up at her.

She couldn't returned it, not when she got a good look at his chest, at all of the blood that covered him. There were cuts everywhere — his chest, ribs, arms, shoulders, face. The knuckles on his hands were split open like he had fought back at first.

The people behind her were arguing now, but she could barely hear them. Blood pounded in her ears as she stared down at the man in front of her. Her hands trembled as she ran them over the cuts on his face. He leaned into her touch and it only caused her to shake more. She clenched her jaw, trying to keep her emotions in check, but when he opened his eyes again, there were tears collecting in the corners, and she felt the lump rise up in her throat.

Octavia sat down next to them and took Kane's hand. "How are you holding up, old man?"

Kane smiled and felt a laugh bubble up in his chest. It forced its way out but blood came with it and the women helped him onto his side as he coughed it up onto the floor.

Abby rubbed his back as she whispered to Octavia, "What're they talking about?"

"Indra's telling her about the massacre," she replied, watching Kane with concern.

"Did she tell you where Bellamy is?" Abby asked as Kane stopped coughing. Octavia shook her head as she helped Abby roll him onto his back again. Octavia handed her a med kit, the one from the rover. She didn't know why she hadn't brought it herself.

The girl walked away for a second and Abby thought she was leaving them but she returned with Kane's tattered shirt. She sank down next to Abby, near Kane's head, and used it to wipe his mouth free of blood. Abby smiled to herself and scooted further down his body to start on the deep gashes on his ribs.

"Is he going to be okay?" Octavia asked, continuing to clear the blood from Kane's face.

"If I can get him to Mount Weather, yes," she said as she felt her hands shake against his skin again. Octavia grabbed them and whispered, "You can do this, Abby."

She nodded, silently thanking her. She had to think of him as just another patient or she wasn't going to get through this. She closed her eyes, breathing in deeply through her mouth — the room reeked of blood and sweat, she didn't dare breathe through her nose. Her hands stopped shaking and she started cleaning the wounds, ignoring every time his stomach pulled away from her, from the pain.

He needed stitches, a lot of them, but for now all she could do for him was prevent infection and bandage up everything until she ran out of supplies. A bruise was spreading across his stomach, alerting her to his dire need of surgery. Abby let out a rattled breath and started to listen to Indra's story as it wrapped up to take her mind off of the severity of Kane's condition. Lexa said, when it finished, "I promise you justice."

Octavia glanced at Abby before she sprang to her feet and crossed the room in a matter of seconds. "And where's Kane's justice? When will he get vengeance for what you put him through today?"

"Octavia," Clarke whispered.

"Come on, Clarke! How could you stand there and watch as he was beaten?" She asked, rounding on her. "What was the point? To show the other clans not to act out? That's bullshit and you know it! He didn't kill those warriors, he didn't order it, he didn't even know it was happening. It was all Pike; but where's Pike now? Not here, not bloody on the floor like he should be."

"You've made your point, Octavia," Lexa said.

"No, I haven't even started, _Commander._ I see what you've done to Kane, under the guise of justice. Where's my brother? Is Bellamy in some ditch, discarded like he's nothing?"

Lexa said calmly, "Your brother's fine—"

Octavia scoffed, "Define _fine._ "

Lexa's lips pursed. "Your brother's in a cell, waiting."

"Waiting for what?" Her fists clenched at her side.

"Until I decide what to do with Skaikru," Lexa said harshly. "And I have. Skaikru must bring us Pike or someone will answer for the massacre."

Abby's hand tightened on Marcus' arm — surely she didn't mean him. She glanced down at his brand. Was that what it meant? That he was responsible for every crime their people committed? She never would have let him get it. She would have fought him over it more.

Lexa continued, "Take Marcus, but we keep the other one, to ensure you follow through."

Octavia marched toward the Commander but Roan caught her before she could do anything stupid. She shouted, "Like hell you're keeping my brother!"

"Clarke will be staying in Polis too," Lexa said, a cold smile on her face. Clarke glared at her, they all knew she was no more than a hostage at this point. "As ambassador for Skaikru, she will ensure that your brother is not killed before your time is up."

"And how long do you give them, Commander?" Roan asked, an eyebrow raised. "Kane's in no shape to be ordering anything."

"You have one week," Lexa said after a moment of thought. Abby looked down at Kane, half-bandaged and still bleeding everywhere. Was that even long enough?

Indra and Octavia walked over to them and Abby looked up. "How do we get him out of here?"

"I have no idea," Octavia whispered, kneeling next to Kane. Abby knew she cared about Kane but also knew that if given the choice she would rather be walking out of the city with her brother. Still, Octavia placed her hands under Kane's shoulders, trying to lift him.

"Octavia," Kane whispered, his eyes not opening as he spoke. "Bellamy's in a cell five floors down."

Abby's eyes met hers, the younger woman lowering Marcus' shoulders to the floor again. He had been silent for so long, had he not realized how much time had passed since they last spoke of Bellamy, how much other conversation had happened? Did he think that they could break him out of his cell on their way out while carrying his broken body down forty flights of stairs?

"Where do you think you're going Roan?" Lexa called angrily. Abby glanced up to see the Ice King striding across the room toward them.

"I'm no ambassador, you can't keep me here, Commander," Roan barked. He nodded for the women to move out of the way. Roan lifted Kane into a standing position, draping his arm around his shoulders. Octavia rushed over and pulled Kane's other arm around her.

Abby watched as they half-carried a semi-conscious Marcus Kane from the room, Indra limping after them. She turned to her daughter, who stood not far from Lexa. Abby knew the distance was still too close for Clarke's liking.

She crossed the room to her daughter and pulled her into a hug. It was nothing like the last one they shared. Clarke hugged her back in full force, her arms squeezing Abby tight.

Clarke whispered, "I tried, Mom. I tried to stop her."

"I know," she said, stroking her hair. "He'll be okay."

Clarke nodded into her shoulder. As she pulled away, she said, "I won't let anything happen to Bellamy."

"You stay safe," Abby whispered before pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead and hurrying after the others.

* * *

 **Reviews are always welcomed! :)**

 **Let me know how I'm doing, especially now that the decision of 'Blood Must Not Have Blood' from the show has been overturned because let's face it, it was a cop out on JRoth's part and bullshit. I love hearing what you all have to say! -TenToo**


	27. Losing Control

_"Good can come out of even the darkest acts."_ \- Thelonious Jaha, "Survival of the Fittest"

* * *

Marcus was still conscious as they left the city, allowing Roan and Octavia to pull him along toward the rover miles away. Abby and Indra walked behind them, listening as he told Octavia about the time he carried her when she was hurt after training with the Grounders. When he spoke, his words were quiet and mumbled and he was forced to pause after only a few words to catch his breath before continuing. He looked at Roan and slurred out, "You weren't there…but Octavia…was resilient…You would…have been… so _proud,_ Bellamy."

Abby knew that confusion was a common symptom of his condition, but it didn't stop her from worrying. She cast a look at Indra who grasped her forearm, "Kane is strong, he will survive this."

She nodded, though it was too quick of a movement for either of them to think she truly believed Indra's words. Abby asked, "How are you?"

"I've been worse," Indra replied, her eyes on Kane's feet as they dragged along the ground. "A warrior doesn't complain when they survive something like that."

She would have smiled if she didn't think Indra was talking about Kane too, that Indra assumed Kane would bounce right back, that he would act like what he had been through hadn't happened, that it didn't bother him. She opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by a shout from ahead.

"Abby!"

She turned from the Grounder chief and saw panic in Octavia's eyes as she looked at her over her shoulder. Marcus' body sagged between the other two, their arms were the only reason he was on his feet. Abby ran to them, Indra on her heels. She stood in front of Marcus and curled one hand into his hair, pushing his head forward so she could get a good look at him. She put her other hand on his cheek, feeling his cool, clammy skin, taking in his pale pallor. She placed her fingers against the pulse point on his neck, counting the weak, thready beats. She whispered, "He's in hypovolemic shock. We need to get him to Mount Weather _now._ "

Roan said, gruffly, "Move aside."

Octavia ducked out from under Kane's arm and Abby stepped back as Roan scooped the man up. He half-ran with the limp body in his arms down the path, the others hurried after him.

Raven had the door open and was seated with her legs facing out, a gun on her lap. She started when she saw them running toward the rover. Her hand flew to the receiver of the radio and yelled, "Who do we need?"

Abby yelled, " _Jackson!_ I need Jackson at Mount Weather!"

Raven nodded and called into the radio. Octavia threw open the back door and Roan climbed inside with Kane still in his arms, Octavia pushing on his back so he didn't lose his balance. He was lowering the Chancellor to the floor as Abby climbed in and shut the door. Indra called from the front seat, "Ready?"

"Go!" Octavia shouted.

The rover lurched forward as Raven — her hand still on the radio, awaiting a response — slammed on the gas pedal. She spun the vehicle around and took off down the path, the metal shaking violently as she sped as fast as she dared.

Abby knelt down next to Marcus, taking stock of his injuries again, putting them in order of what she would need to deal with when they arrived at Mount Weather. The internal bleeding was the foremost concern; after surgery, she would need to check on his kidneys, where the bruising was on his back. The open gashes on his ribs would need stitching, as would many of the cuts on his body. He had to have several broken ribs, given the intensity of his beating, but she couldn't do much for those other than pain control. She would need to set his broken fingers, but those were her lowest priority.

"What can we do, Abby?" Octavia asked, kneeling on Kane's other side. Roan did the same, staring at Abby with hard eyes.

She looked around the walls of the rover, hoping beyond hope that there were medical supplies. "He needs a blood transfusion…Why are there no blood bags? Why is there no oxygen?"

"Abby, what can we do _right now_? This isn't equipped for triage," Octavia reasoned. She took the doctor's shaking hands. Abby closed her eyes and focused on Octavia's hands squeezing hers. She drew in a deep breath, held it for a few seconds before releasing it slowly. Her eyes opened and met Octavia's. "You can do this, Abby. Kane needs you."

Abby nodded and pulled her hands out of Octavia's. She pointed down Kane's body and ordered, "Lift his feet up, we need to increase his circulation." Octavia moved to the back of the rover and sat on the floor, putting Kane's feet on her lap. Abby placed her hands on his chest, feeling how cold he was. "We need to warm him up. Roan, your jacket."

The king slipped it off without hesitation and handed it to Abby. He lifted Kane's torso so Abby could pull one arm through it, climb around Roan, and complete the process on the other side. It didn't zip or anything, but it would provide him with some warmth at least.

She looked at Roan and whispered, "Thank you."

He nodded curtly and lowered the unconscious man to the floor of the vehicle as it hit a bump; he caught Kane's head before it smacked against the metal. He said quietly, "We're allies now, it's expected of me."

Abby looked at him peculiarly. "What happened, if I might ask?"

"It is bold of you to do so," he said bluntly, meeting her eyes coldly. But he continued, "Since my mother's death, my people have split into two factions: those loyal to their new king and those loyal to the old ways. My mother's Nightblood, Ontari, leads that faction against me. I need the Coalition, I need Skaikru on my side."

Abby's eyes were tight as she glanced down at Kane, wondering what he would do as Chancellor. Would he side with Roan? Should she be acting for him while he was incapacitated? He had acted so many times when she was Chancellor without her consent, surely she could do the same. But siding with Azgeda, who had killed so many of their people, who had caused Pike to slaughter the 300 warriors — consequently leading Marcus to be where he was now — could be a disaster. Should she really tell Roan _yes_ , that Skaikru stands with Azgeda?

Raven's voice filled the rover as she called into the radio again, cutting through the tension. "Rover 1 to Arkadia, Rover 1 to Arkadia, is anyone there?"

Nothing but silence.

Roan's eyes were on Abby's, awaiting an answer. He had stood for them in Polis, had declared allegiance to Skaikru even when their punishment had yet to be determined. Abby found herself nodding. "Skaikru stands with Azgeda, so long as Azgeda stands with the Coalition."

Roan nodded, a faint smile on his lips at her choice of words. Abby looked back to Kane, who was barely moving. She pushed aside the jacket to assess him again. She listened to his rattling breaths, noticed that his skin was completely covered in sweat though it was still cold, and saw the distention of his stomach. Her eyes widened and her breath hitched.

Octavia whispered, "What's wrong, Abby?"

She ignored her and turned to Raven, calling, "Can't you go any faster?"

"If I do, we could go off the path and hit a tree. Then we'd all die."

 _Then we'd all die._ All _. Instead of just one of us._

Abby looked at Roan and Octavia and said, "Make sure he doesn't move too much. We don't want him injured further."

Octavia said, "Of course, but, Abby—"

She just shook her head and turned away. She walked to the front, grasping the seats to steady herself. She crouched between Indra and Raven and grabbed the radio from Raven's hand.

"How is he?" Indra asked, her eyes on the road.

"Not good," Abby whispered before she jammed her thumb down on the call button. "Rover 1 to Arkadia, come in Arkadia. This is Doctor Griffin. Rover 1 to Arkadia, is anyone there?" She removed her thumb from the button and let her head fall, pressing the receiver to her forehead as she closed her eyes. _Someone has to hear this._ She brought the receiver to her mouth again and pressed the button, "Rover 1 to Arkadia. This is Doctor Griffin. We have a medical emergency. Please respond."

Feedback cracked through the radio and Abby felt heat spread through her chest. She released a shaky sigh as a deep voice spoke back to her through the receiver. " _Arkadia to Rover 1. What's going on, Abby?"_

"David?" She asked, staring at the radio mounted to the dashboard.

" _Did you get Kane?"_

"Yeah," she replied before taking in a deep breath. "But he's not okay. I need you to send Jackson to Mount Weather. Have him bring Benja."

" _Of course. That Grounder healer is here, should I send him too?"_

"Yes," Abby answered. She wiped away the tears she hadn't realized were there. She whispered into the receiver, "Thank you, David."

" _They'll be waiting for you at the entrance. Be safe, Abby."_

Abby hung the receiver back on the radio and sank back on her haunches, holding onto the cushions on either side of her to keep her upright. She had help coming, two men she trust to assist her in saving him. She let out a shaky sigh and turned back to the others.

Octavia's eyes were on her, she wondered if they had ever left. She held Kane's legs firmly so he didn't jostle, Roan did the same with his shoulders. Abby offered Octavia a small smile, but knew that it didn't reach her eyes. She sat by Kane's side and took his hand in hers; he offered her no pressure, no reassurance — he wasn't really there — but she felt better holding it.

Silence fell over the rover, the only sounds the jostling of the suspension as they hit bumps and their quiet breathing. Abby focused on Marcus' face, it was where she saw the least amount of change since that morning when he left her at the door to go with Bellamy. There were cuts and bruises sure, some dried blood along his jaw that Octavia had missed when cleaning him up, but underneath all of that, he was still Marcus. This part of him wasn't dying like his body was. It wasn't getting worse as time went on, it was staying the same.

She reached up and brushed his hair out of his face. Her hand found his cheek and stayed there, lightly stroking the bruised skin. His eyelids flickered and Abby's eyes lit up, squeezing his hand tightly in her own. "Marcus?"

She looked back at Octavia, finding wide eyes and a small smile on her face. She turned back to him and said, "Marcus, wake up."

The eyelids flickered again, this time revealing some white and brown underneath. Roan moved out of the way and sat on the bench, leaning against his knees to watch. Abby stroked Marcus' cheek again, applying more pressure than she should have.

His hand moved within hers and she almost cried out in relief. She didn't even care when the tears fell from her eyes; she gripped his hand tightly and whispered, "Marcus?"

The corner of his mouth tugged up and he croaked, "Abby…"

The corners of her eyes crinkled as she leaned down to press a light kiss to his lips. She felt them tremble against hers, felt how cold they were. As she pulled away, she ran her thumb over his lower lip and his eyes opened only a few millimeters but it was enough for her. She said with a smile, " _Hey_ , I thought I lost you."

He nodded into her palm before his head fell back again and his eyes drifted shut.

"Marcus?" She asked, holding his face. His eyes didn't open this time. "No, you can't do that. That's not fair, Marcus." She felt a hand on her arm but shrugged it off. She stroked his cheeks and kissed his forehead. She commanded, _"Wake up, Marcus. Wake up!"_

She sank back on her haunches after several minutes, wiping the tears away as she watched his chest rise and fall. Octavia's arms wrapped around her and she let herself collapse into her. Later, she would have to thank the girl for keeping her together when she felt like she was about to combust, but for now, she allowed Octavia's arms to tighten their hold on her.

The rover pulled into the meadow an hour later. Octavia threw the door open and jumped out. Nyko and Jackson ran over from the open door to the underground compound, carrying a stretcher between them. They slid it onto the floor of the rover before climbing in. Together with Roan, they managed to get Kane transferred on it. The two Grounder men carried him out toward the large door.

Jackson knelt in front of Abby who hadn't moved. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head and he wrapped his arms around her.

"If you can't do the surgery, Nyko and I can—"

"No," she said, pushing away from him. "I have to."

It would be worse for her if she sat idly by while Jackson and Nyko worked at stopping the internal bleeding. She wouldn't be able to forgive herself for being so weak, for not doing everything she could to save him if he…

Abby pushed the thought from her head as she jumped out of the rover. Benja ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She stared down at him in surprise, it was the last thing she expected out of him.

" _Yu na fis em op, Abi?_ | Will you heal him, Abby?" The boy asked, looking up at her with tears in his eyes.

She bit the inside of her lip to keep her own tears from renewing themselves. She nodded. " _Dison nou laik eno kom em._ | This is not the end of him." She said it with such certainty that even she believed herself.

* * *

"Abby, are you listening?" Her eyes found Nyko again, thankful that he wasn't stern as she expected. Her eyes had drifted to Kane out in the ward, he was still unconscious though his surgery had been a full day ago. Nyko touched her arm gently and whispered, "Kane will survive, he's not dying after fighting this long."

She nodded and looked to the others in the room; Roan and Indra sat with them in the previous doctor's office. Roan had just returned after leaving the night before. He was the reason she wasn't at Kane's bedside. "How many?"

"100 warriors at your ready, Abby," Roan said. "Camped a few miles to the North."

"And what am I supposed to do with 100 Azgeda warriors?" She asked.

"Protect yourself," Indra supplied. "Protect your camp from the man who caused all of this. Kane still recovers, you must start planning to take down Pike."

"Pike's in Lockup," Abby replied. "There's no need to take him down."

Indra shook her head. "That's not what my reports bring. My scouts watched your camp last night. Pike walks free, he makes orders. He commands any Grounder to be shot."

Her face fell. She had sent Jackson and Raven back to a hostile territory. How long had Pike been out? He would have never let Jackson leave, he must have been released after. But how? Most of the guards were loyal to Marcus, Abbot only had a handful on his side. It would only take one at the right time. And if Pike was out in the open, freely walking about camp, what had happened to the Millers, to Sinclair, to Bennett, and everyone else so loyal to their proper chancellor?

What would it look like, them using Ice Nation warriors against their own people? What if they were successful in taking down Pike and getting him to Polis before their deadline was up? Would the people who followed him go back to normal, would they follow those who used Grounders against their own? She didn't think so.

Abby said, "I'm not deciding anything without Marcus."

"You are not thinking like a leader," Roan reasoned.

Abby glared at him. "The funny thing is, I am. We're done here. I'll find you when he wakes up."

* * *

He didn't know how long it had been since he was laying on the floor in Polis, but he woke to the gray ceiling with the florescent light circles that he knew was Mount Weather. _How did I get here?_ The last thing he remembered was looking up at Abby in Polis, everything else was a little fuzzy or completely absent.

He turned his head and found Benja in the bed next to his, Octavia in the one next to Benja's, both fast asleep. At least he knew it was late, but what day was it? He raised his hand to his face, brushing against something impossibly soft on the way. He glanced down and found Abby leaning against the side of the bed, her head resting on her forearms.

Marcus smiled to himself as he brushed her hair out of her face. Her eyes flashed open. He pulled his hand away, embarrassed that he had woken her, but she didn't seem to care. Her eyes locked on his, her lips parting slightly.

"Hey," he croaked with a sheepish grin on his face. A slow smile took over hers as she pushed herself from her chair and wrapped his shoulders in a hug, mindful of his injuries. He slid his arm loosely around her waist before he tightened his grip. He pulled away in pain, raising his hand in front of his face. "Are my fingers broken?"

Abby bit her lower lip, her eyes crinkling as she looked at him. "A lot of you is broken."

"That's reassuring," he said, lowering his hand to the top of the blanket that was secured to his armpits. Abby placed her hand on top of his. She whispered, "You don't want to see."

He nodded, his eyes searching hers before he let himself relax into the pillow again. She pulled her hand away from him and moved around the bed to check the monitor. He hadn't noticed the needles going into his arm, one just below his wrist, the other into the inside of his elbow.

"I almost forgot you didn't like needles," she whispered. He looked up to find her eyes on him.

He smiled and said, "Just because someone doesn't like being inoculated, doesn't mean they don't like needles." _It means they hate them._ But he wasn't about to make himself look even weaker in front of her. She nodded, but he knew that she didn't believe him at all. She had been the doctor on the Ark after all, she knew his weaknesses when it came to medicine then and she knew all of his weaknesses now.

"Are you okay?" He asked, reaching for her hand as it shook against the machine. She nodded too quickly and stared down at the floor. He lowered his hand to the blanket. "Abby, talk to me."

"I thought you were dead, Marcus," she whispered. He closed his eyes and he drew in a rattled breath. Her forehead came to rest against his and her hands cupped his face. He opened his eyes and found her staring right at him. "I don't know what I would have done…Going through it once in a lifetime was enough, I can't lose you too."

He nodded against her. "You won't. We'll give Pike to Lexa, we'll have our peace."

Her lips pressed against his, her hands diving into his hair. He didn't care if it hurt, he didn't care if every nerve was on fire despite the pain medication, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight to him as his tongue slid into her mouth. He tried to take all of her worries away from her, tried to make everything better as he kissed her and held her.

"I love you," Abby whispered before pressing herself against his chest and gripping him tighter. It wasn't often they said it in English, but he understood why she did it now. Why Trigedasleng wasn't her preference in this moment.

"Kane!" They broke apart and found Octavia running to him around Benja's bed, unabashed to wake and find them locked in such an intimate embrace. Abby pulled away and allowed Octavia to hug him. She took his hand as she asked, "Are you okay?"

He nodded with a smile. "Were you worried?"

"Of course, you idiot!" Octavia said, hitting his shoulder. He winced and she squeezed his hand in apology. "We thought we lost you."

"Bellamy and I thought we were dead, too," he said in a whisper before glancing around the room. "Where is Bellamy?" He watched as Octavia and Abby exchanged glances. He hung his head. "You didn't get him out, did you?"

"Octavia, would you fetch Roan?" Abby asked, her hand on the girl's arm. Octavia nodded and fled the room.

"Roan?" Kane's eyes darkened at the name as he half-rose from the pillow. The pain was substantial but he didn't care. Why was the King of Azgeda at Mount Weather?

"Things have changed," Abby said gently, taking the hand Octavia had abandoned. "You clearly don't remember much from the throne room."

"I remember the beating, Abby," he said, looking away. Her hand caught his jaw and pulled him back to her. "Why is Bellamy still in Polis if I'm here?"

Abby drew in a breath. "Lexa is keeping him as leverage. If we don't deliver Pike within the week, they'll kill him instead."

His hand tore through his hair and he said, "Pike had better be on his way to Polis, Abby, because if you waited until I woke to talk about this, I…" His voice caught in his throat as the worry threatened to tear him apart. "Bellamy can't die because of me."

* * *

 **Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated! :)**

 **Let me know how I'm doing, especially now that the decision of 'Blood Must Not Have Blood' from the show has been overturned because let's face it, it was a cop out on JRoth's part and complete bullshit. I love hearing what you all have to say! -TenToo**


	28. Changing of the Guard

_"We're in this together."_ — Marcus Kane, "Ye Who Enter Here"

* * *

Abby turned to him as he let out a quiet sigh. His eyelids were drooping, his body heavy in the bed. She almost felt guilty for raising the dosage of his medicine, but he wasn't in the right state of mind to be talking rationally with the King of Ice Nation.

She sat down next to him on the bed and ran her hand over his arm. His eyes opened for a moment before he shut them again. The pain in the corner of his eyes leaving as he settled into the pillow. She didn't want him to overexert himself by arguing with Roan, she told herself that was why she did it, why she upped his medication.

She reached up and ran her hand over his cheek, over the bruised skin. She liked to think that this wouldn't change him, that he would be back to his old self before no time. But that didn't explain that she really gave him more medication so he would barely be awake during his meeting with Roan. She didn't want him disagreeing with the decision she made in the rover, she knew it was best for their people. She didn't want him upsetting the man who was going to help them.

His hand came up to still hers. Her eyes met his as they opened and he smiled at her. Kane's voice was thick with the promise of sleep as he whispered, "Stop worrying, Abby."

She smiled. "I'm always worried about you."

"Don't," he whispered, giving her a lopsided grin. He beckoned her closer, his eyes fighting to stay open. She pursed her lips to hide a smile as she leaned over, unsurprised when he cupped her cheeks — ignoring the pain in his broken fingers — and brought her in for a kiss.

Even hopped-up on pain medication — the best she could find — his lips still moved against hers in a way that caused her breath to hitch in her throat, his tongue still slid into her mouth, devouring her like she was the only thing he needed to keep him alive. She forced herself to pull away when she heard the footsteps coming down the hallway. Marcus was staring up at her, the same grin plastered on his face as before.

"Will you behave yourself?" Abby asked, staring down at him seriously. His brows furrowed as he frowned at her, but she knew her words hadn't hurt him. _"Marcus."_

He scoffed and nodded. " _Yes,_ I'll be good."

She just shook her head and turned in the bed, their hips touching, as the footsteps got louder. Kane wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her to him as he rested his head against her shoulder. He whispered, "So tired."

"You can sleep after, Roan's here to see you."

"Maybe you shouldn't have drugged me," he whispered, his lips making contact with her neck. She smiled and leaned into his embrace.

The door to the hallway opened and Octavia walked in followed by the King of Ice Nation. Roan's eyes passed over the sleeping boy in the bed but settled on Kane and something of relief flashed through them. "It's nice to see you survived. Although I was more than prepared to deal with Abby."

"Who said she would be in charge in the event of my death?" Marcus mumbled, burying his face in Abby's neck. Octavia smirked as she walked over and sat at the end of Kane's bed, pulling her legs up to cross them.

"And who would? Jasper?" Octavia asked, grinning at him.

"Jasper's last on my list," Kane replied with a grin.

Roan cleared his throat and said, his eyes on Kane, "Regardless of who is in charge, as King of Azgeda, I pledge my allegiance to Skaikru and the Coalition."

Kane's eyes drifted closed, his eyelashes fluttering against her skin. His hand absently rubbed along Abby's side as he asked, "And why would you do that?"

Abby leaned into his touch as Roan told Kane of Ontari's army and everything that had happened since his mother's death. She tried to pay attention to the king, but Kane's hand was tickling along her side and she hated to admit it, but she loved the fact that he didn't care that they were with company. She loved the fact that he didn't even think about all of the reassuring touches, the kisses, the handholding anymore, it was all second nature to them and it didn't matter who they were around.

"So, we stand with you against Ontari, what will you do for us?" Kane asked, his head heavy on Abby's shoulder. His lips brushed against her neck.

Octavia's eyes met Abby's, amusement settled deep within. Abby mouthed, _"Drugs,"_ and the girl nodded as if that cleared everything up. Abby wondered how long until word got around camp that Marcus Kane was very affectionate when he was under the influence. She knew he would be embarrassed and almost regretted raising his dosage for the meeting. But his lips were on her neck again and the thought left her mind.

If what was going on in front of him bothered him in the slightest, Roan hid it well. He said, "I will help you bring down Pike. The Commander demands him for the crimes against Trikru. I will help capture and bring him to Polis."

"And it wouldn't hurt for you to be in Lexa's good graces either," Octavia muttered, glaring at him.

Roan turned to her and said, "No, it wouldn't. She is the Commander and, until the time of her death, I need her on my side."

Kane settled his head on Abby's shoulder and muttered into her shirt, "I can't have Azgeda attacking Arkadia — it won't look good to our people. Those under Pike and Abbot's control won't follow me if they see Grounders taking away one of their leaders. I'll never get them to see what side is right."

"Why do you wish for them to follow you?" Roan asked bluntly. "Send them away, they've defied you. You should banish them."

"They're our people," Abby said, but Kane's hand tightened on her side. She glanced at him and saw the hard look on his face. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropping open a little. _Is he really considering this?_

He whispered, just for her, "That doesn't mean what it used to, Abby."

 _"Marcus,_ you can't _—"_

Octavia interrupted with a nod, "I agree with Roan; kick 'em out. They mean _nothing_ to us. If they can't change, they can leave."

Abby pulled out of Kane's arms and stood, crossing her arms over her chest. She whispered, "This is insane. We're not kicking our own people out of camp."

"They're not our people, Abby!" Octavia shouted. "And you're not Chancellor, it's Kane's decision."

Abby looked at Marcus, her lips pinched together in a tight line. Her fists were balled up under her elbows as she glared at him. His eyes couldn't meet hers, refused to, and she let out a slow, deep breath. _"Marcus."_

"I don't want to outright bring your men into camp," Kane said, ignoring Abby. "We do this my way. I arrest Pike, I bring down the resistance. You only help if my plan goes south."

"And how will I know if your plan goes 'south?'" Roan asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Indra has a radio. I'll have people in place to send her a signal if they don't hear from either Abby or myself every few hours." Kane said, his brows furrowed in concentration. "These people are dangerous, we have to expect the worst. Octavia knows the route in and out, she'll be able to sneak you in if needed."

Roan nodded. "We stay camped where we are. But the second this is all over, Skaikru helps my army defeat Ontari."

"Agreed," Kane said, extending his arm to the King of Ice Nation.

* * *

He had hoped he would finish and return to his bed before she even woke up. But her voice was harsh behind him now, _"What the hell do you think you're doing?"_

Kane's hands stilled as he stared into the mirror, looking at the shaving cream on his face, before meeting her eyes. The razor felt so right in his hand again, he refused to put it down. He whispered, "I can't be him anymore."

"Who, Marcus?" Her voice was soft as she strode across the tiled floor of the bathroom. She gently pulled the razor from his hand and turned him to face her, her hand flying to her mouth as she saw that his beard was already half gone. "What are you doing?"

He stayed very still as he stared at the floor. He opened his mouth to speak several times but nothing came out. Her hand found his chin and she forced him to look at her. She rested her forehead against his and whispered, "Please tell me what's going on."

Kane reached out and slipped the razor from her hand without a word. He bit the inside of his lip as he pulled away, but Abby's hands kept him where he was. "Marcus, talk to me."

The words that came out of him felt like they were spoken by someone else. He felt hollow, like he wasn't even himself anymore. He ran a hand through his shaggy hair and croaked, "You don't get it. _He's_ weak, _I_ can't be weak anymore."

He pulled away and avoided her eyes in the mirror as he focused on running the blade over his skin, removing the hair that had masked so much of his face for months. He set the razor down and grabbed the towel to wipe his face clean. He couldn't look at her as he grabbed the scissors from the side of the sink, holding them out to her. "Please, Abby."

Her hands rested on her hips as she stared at him, mouth slightly agape. "What is this?"

His head hung toward his chest and he tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck. He repeated, "Please, Abby."

"You're not weak, Marcus. You've never been weak. Changing your appearance isn't going to do anything. I don't understand," she whispered, reaching up to stroke his jaw.

He closed his eyes, remembering Titus grabbed him by his hair and throwing him to the floor in front of the other leaders. He remembered the beard catching his blood as it dribbled out of his nose, out of his mouth. He couldn't get rid of the scars, the bruises, the broken bones — those would have to heal on their own — but he could rid himself of what little he had control over. He could get rid of what made him feel weak.

Abby's hand touched his arm and he opened his eyes to look at her, hating that his eyes were wet, that his chin was shaking. She didn't lean toward him, didn't hug him, didn't kiss him like he thought she would. She nodded and said, "Okay."

He faced the mirror and she stood behind him, running her fingers through his hair one last time. A sad smile settled on her face as she sheered off the first lock of hair. He closed his eyes as she kept cutting. Each slice of the scissors felt like a weight being lifted off his shoulders, like a scar erasing from his body. He felt the weakness falling from him, the strength growing again.

Abby set the scissors down and ran her hands through his hair, shaking all of the loose strands out. Her lips touched the nape of his neck, now free of hair, and Kane opened his eyes. She was staring at him in the mirror as her arms wrapped tightly around him.

She whispered against his skin, "You're going to be okay."

He wanted to believe her, he really did.

* * *

The rover lurched to a stop in the hangar and Octavia killed the engine. Kane stayed in his seat, it wasn't that he couldn't move, he didn't want to. He heard the doors open and shut, but he kept staring at the floor. The back door opened and light flooded into the confined space.

"Marcus," Abby said gently, her voice breaking through his thoughts. He blinked at her and she was smiling softly at him. She extended her hand to him, but he pushed himself to his feet, letting out a grunt as he did so. He staggered in his spot and she caught him, wrapping her arm around his waist. "Come on, let's get you home."

"You're not taking me to Medical?" He asked, a little surprised, as she hopped out of the vehicle and waited for him.

"You've spent enough time in a hospital bed, don't you think?" She asked, watching him as he gripped the side of the rover and climbed out, a grimace on his face. She wrapped her arm around him and, he would never admit it, but he appreciated the help, needed it even. He slid his arm around her shoulders and leaned on her.

"Let me!" They turned and saw Sergeant Banks hurrying over to them. Abby's arm tightened around his waist, holding him to her. Kane pulled away though and let Banks take his weight. Octavia came over and slid his arm around her shoulders too, her hand on his chest to steady him.

Her fingers were tense against his shirt and he understood why. Given Banks' track record with Grounders, they all knew he had to be on Abbot's side. Kane had been worrying over who had helped release Charles Pike in their absence, James Banks was the first guard who came to mind.

"Welcome back, sir," Banks said, offering his kindest tone though they all saw through it. "It's been hell here without you."

"What do you mean?" Kane asked as they ambled down the corridor toward their quarters.

"Nothing, sir," Banks said with a smile. Abby walked past them to unlock the door, Benja following. Kane didn't like the way Banks' eyes followed the Grounder boy. He felt Octavia's nails dig into his chest, knowing she saw the look too.

The door slid open and the three of them entered first, followed by Abby and Benja. Banks and Octavia deposited him on the edge of the bed. Before leaving the room, he said, "It is good to have you back, sir."

Kane nodded to him and watched his retreating back before whispering to Octavia, _"Gon lok Linkon op._ | Go find Lincoln."

Octavia nodded and left the room. Abby walked over to him and grabbed her pillow, placing it on top of his. "Lay down."

"Abby, I'm fine," he said, not looking at her as he unlaced his boots. Her hand came to rest on his shoulder and his whole body went rigid; her hand slid off his shirt with a sigh. He couldn't help it, he wished he wasn't feeling this way. He drew in a rattled breath as she sat down next to him.

She grasped his hand firmly in hers and whispered, "It won't get better until you accept what's happened. This isn't going to break you, Marcus."

The corner of his mouth twitched. "It already has."

She brought his hand to her lips and kissed the back of it. "Will you tell me what happened?"

He could feel the pinpricks in his eyes, knew the tears were coming, and bit his tongue to keep them at bay. All he could do was shake his head. She nodded and kissed his cheek.

"If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here, okay?" He nodded. She pulled away and stood but his hand caught hers.

"Don't leave," his voice was barely a whisper and he couldn't meet her eyes, but he hoped the pressure of his hand on hers would be enough to make her understand how much he needed her.

"I'll be back," she said quietly. "You need pain medication."

He shook his head, pulling her to him. "Abby, I don't think that's the best idea."

"We said we were going to act like everything's fine." She reasoned, placing her hands tentatively on his shoulders. He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her to him.

"I can't lose you too," he whispered, burying his face in her neck.

He knew she thought he was talking about Bellamy, but he had lost more than just blood and his dignity in that throne room. He didn't know who he was anymore, not really. It was like he was working with someone else's memories, because surely someone like him wasn't allowed to be that happy for the past few months. The memories from his youth he could understand — the beatings, the crying — but the love of a woman like Abby Griffin was something he didn't deserve, not with everything he had done and continued to do. It was almost justice, what Lexa had done to him, he didn't hold it against her at all. He was surprised she hadn't done more, he deserved worse.

Abby pulled away from him and cupped his cheeks. Her eyes were soft as she looked into his, a sad smile on her face. "You won't. Don't think like that." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. She released him and said, "Just lay down and relax. I'll be back with the painkillers."

He nodded and she kissed his forehead before leaving the room. He stared at the doorway for a few seconds before pushing himself fully onto the bed, feeling every stitch pull, every broken bone protest. He laid down and closed his eyes as soon as his head hit the pillows.

With Abby gone, he felt numb inside and out. Her absence allowed his mind to drift back to the throne room, to the second Titus thrust him through the door. Clarke had called out for him, tears in her eyes, she knew what was going to happen to him though he was still in the dark at that point. When Lexa announced he was to be punished for Skaikru's crimes, Clarke screamed at her even as Roan held her back and Titus threw the first punch.

It had been only fists at the start. Kane fought back, holding his own until Titus brought out what looked like brass knuckles from the old movies they had on the Ark. That was when the pain really got to him, crippled him in its intensity as the knuckles rained down on his face, his ribs, his jaw, anything they could reach. They split his skin, tore flesh wide open where they dragged, dropped him to his knees when he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't hear Clarke's screaming, knew she had accepted it like the rest of them. He accepted it too after a while, staying on the ground after a particularly nasty blow to his face. He lost all of the fight in him after that, knew he deserved the punishment.

A knock sounded on the open door and Kane opened his eyes to find Benja standing in the doorway. He beckoned him in, saying, _"Komba raun, Benja._ | Come in, Benja."

The boy approached slowly, looking over Kane's healing face, at the bandages that covered his arms. He stopped next to the bed and met his eyes. He whispered, as if what he was saying was a secret, just between them, _"Yu na ste os?_ | Will you be okay?"

A slow smile spread across Kane's face as he looked at the Grounder boy. He had never imagined when he rescued him, that the boy would actually trust him, would want him to be safe. He found himself saying, _"Gon yu na ai trana. Ai swega em klin._ | For you, I'll try. I swear it."

He wasn't prepared for the force of the hug Benja hit him with, his arms wrapping around his neck and body slamming against Kane. It hurt, but he slid his arms around the boy and held him close. He whispered, _"Eting na ste os. Ai nou na bants nodotaim nowe._ | Everything will be fine. I'm not leaving again."

Benja's grip on him tightened as he said, _"Ai don hashta yu get daun._ | I was worried about you."

 _"Haukom?_ | Why?"

Benja mumbled, arms still tight around his neck, _"Yu don kep ai klin. Yu kep ai kom bash in. Ai gaf gon yu seintaim in._ | You saved me. You keep me from harm. I want the same for you."

Kane's arms tightened around the boy, ignoring the pain that erupted through his body. He held him for what felt like hours and only released him when he heard the door opening. He whispered, trying to lighten the mood, _"Ha yu?_ | How are you?"

 _"Beja jos nou bants nodotaim_ | Please, just don't leave again." Benja said, staring at his feet.

It dawned on him in an instant why the boy was acting like this, why he was so worried. " _Chon don chich yu op?_ | Who talked to you?"

Benja mumbled, _"Biga hef. Em biyo laik ai nou beda kamp raun hir._ | Tall man. He said I shouldn't be here."

Kane shook his head as he watched Abby come into the room. _"Nou sen em op. Dison laik yu hou seintaim nau._ | Don't listen to him. This is your home now, too."

Benja nodded and stepped aside for Abby to set the bottle of pills and glass of water on the nightstand. She said, "The Lees are outside, should I let them in?" His brows furrowed, but he nodded. She added, "Are you sure? I have to get back to Medical, there's a flu outbreak. Do you really trust them enough to be alone with them?"

"It will be fine. Take Benja with you," he said. She raised an eyebrow at him. "It's never too early to see if he wants to be a healer."

"You just want him out of harm's way," she said, glancing over her shoulder at the boy who was siting at the desk, flicking through the thick book that he couldn't read.

"Gwen's not exactly on our side, Abby. Please, take him."

She sighed and nodded. "I'll send them in."

"Thank you," he said as she leaned over to kiss him. He brought his hand up to bury in her hair, to hold her to him for a few seconds longer than necessary. When she pulled back, she was smiling at him. "Get out of here."

"Yes, _Chancellor_ ," she said before leaving the room, calling for Benja to follow her. Kane reached for the painkillers and was swallowing a few when the Lees walked into the room. Rebecca rushed to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Are you okay?" She asked, pulling away so she could sit on the edge of the bed.

"I'm fine," he said, glancing over at Gwen who stood in the doorway still. "How are things going with Paul?"

Rebecca blushed and said, "He's scared of you."

Kane laughed. "Good."

"He's scared of the anti-Grounders too. We all are," she admitted, meeting his eyes again. He frowned and glanced passed her at Gwen who had moved further into the room.

"Rebecca, we shouldn't talk—"

"It's fine, Marcus," she said, beckoning her mother over. "It's why we're here. We're _all_ scared."

Gwen stood behind her daughter as she said, "They need to be stopped."

"And here I thought you were one of them," Kane said, glaring at her.

"I was," she said, forcing herself to meet his eyes. He heard the tears before he saw them, they were thick in her throat as she spoke. "But, I never thought they would go that far. I never thought Pike would massacre that army. That Abbot—"

"You knew it was going to happen?" He asked, his blood boiling in his veins.

"I'm sorry, Marcus," she whispered.

He shook his head, taking a deep breath. "You don't get to be sorry."

"I know," she said, nodding. "But, please, let me help. Let me make this right. This can't be what life is like now, I won't have Rebecca living in fear again."

Kane stared at her for nearly a minute before nodding. Rebecca took his hand and said, "Mom's scared of Abbot, of Pike. She can tell you who they have on their side. Just let her."

"Do you know where Pike is? I hear he's not in Lockup anymore," he said.

Gwen shook her head. "Abbot didn't tell me that. Wherever he's hiding Charles, it's safe. He's only been seen outside of the cell once, but he's certainly not there now."

Kane nodded and pushed himself into a sitting position. Rebecca moved out of the way and watched him. "What are you doing?"

"Removing Abbot from the Council; we need to meet without everything getting back to his group," Kane said as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He bent down to pull on his boots again, Rebecca crouched down to help him.

"How can you remove Abbot without removing me too?" Gwen asked seriously.

"You're right. He has to think that you're still with him," Kane said, nodding.

"But I don't know what good it'll do. It'll just be you and Abby left."

His hands stilled and he looked up at her. "What do you mean?"

"Bennett, Miller, and Sinclair have been missing since Pike was released."

* * *

Kane walked through the door to Agro on his own, flanked by two guards. Abbot looked up from his station and smiled. "I didn't know you were back, Chancellor."

"What do you know about Charles Pike's disappearance, Abbot?" Kane asked, forcing himself to stand tall. He crossed his arms behind his back.

"All business, I like that about you." Abbot said, standing. "That's all I like about you though."

"Answer the question."

He shook his head. "I don't think I will. You clearly have no proof that I helped Charles break out of prison or you would be arresting me, Kane."

"You're right, I'm not here to arrest you." Kane said. "Abbot Simon, you are hereby stripped of your seat on the Council. You and Gwen have no place in that room anymore, not with the allegations circling this camp about you."

Abbot nodded and took a step toward Kane. "You're removing Gwen too?"

Kane didn't reply.

"Hmm, yeah, that's fair, I guess." Abbot said, nodding slowly. "Don't you think that's fair, Lacroix?"

Kane turned in time to see Lacroix brandish his weapon and shock Scanlan in the side. The guard walked toward him as the other crumpled to the floor and said, "You still don't get it, Kane. The Grounders beat you and you still show loyalty to them."

"Not all Grounders are the same," Kane said, forcing himself to meet Lacroix's eyes rather than stare at the shock baton.

"And that's where you're wrong, Marcus," Abbot said, his voice very near now. "Maybe when we take them down, you'll see that you've been on the wrong side all of this time."

The shock was nothing compared to the pain he was used to, but it did cause his knees to buckle. He grasped the edge of the table and tried to pull himself up, but Lacroix shocked him for the second time. Abbot smirked as he tried to stand again. "Those Grounders made you stronger, we'll see what we can do about that."

One more shock did it and everything went black.

He felt a sharp pain across his face and wondered how long he had been out. He slowly opened his eyes and was met with a dim light. He didn't know what part of Alpha Station they were in, he almost didn't care. They hadn't taken him to Lockup, but he knew they wouldn't. They had taken him somewhere no one would find him.

"Welcome home, _Chancellor,"_ Banks said, smiling at him. He held one of Kane's arms, Lacroix had the other. He punched numbers into a keypad in front of them and opened the door. The two guards shoved him through before locking the door and walking away.

Kane let out a groan, his face pressed into the hard floor. He was in too much pain to move and was resigned to lay where he was. That was until he felt several pairs of hands hoisting him up, raising him to his feet.

"What the hell, Kane?" David Miller asked, dusting him off. Behind him stood Sinclair, Bennett, and Wick.

"I should be asking you that," Kane groaned, allowing Wick to help him to the bench on the wall. "What the hell happened while I was gone?"

* * *

 **Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated! :)**

 **Let me know how I'm doing, especially now that we've strayed so far from the show (which in my opinion isn't a terrible thing at all). I love hearing what you all have to say! -TenToo**


	29. Ste Yuj

_"We have to find hope somewhere."_ — Lincoln, "Wanheda: Part 2"

* * *

"He's come a long way." Abby turned to Lincoln and smiled at him before looking back at Benja who was handing out water and medicine to the flu patients. "It's hard to believe it's only been four days since Kane found him."

Abby nodded. "And we weren't here for half of that time."

"The boy has a good judge of character," Lincoln said with a smile. "He knew who to trust while you were gone."

Abby let out a quiet laugh and sat down at the end of his bed. "I'm guessing he stuck to you and anyone else who spoke his language?"

Lincoln nodded. After a few moments, he asked, "How's Kane doing?"

She sighed and stared at the floor. "Not good, he won't talk about it."

"Did you really expect him to?" He asked, sitting up as best he could. She glanced at his shoulder and stood to check on its healing progress. She unravelled the bandages as she shook her head. Lincoln said, "He's strong, Abby. He'll get through this. So will you."

She smiled sadly and said, "I hope you're right." She pulled back the bandage and looked at the bullet wound. "You can go if you want. Just keep this covered and try not to move it too much."

He nodded and let her re-dress the wound before he climbed out of bed. He placed his hand on her shoulder, " _Ste yuj, Abi._ | Be strong, Abby."

Lincoln passed Monty and Raven in the doorway on his way out. Abby rushed over to them as Monty helped Raven onto a cot. "What happened?"

"It's my hip," Raven wheezed out.

"When did the pain start?" Abby asked as Monty pulled away and stood at the foot of the cot.

"Act normal," Raven whispered, staring at Abby with tears in her eyes.

"What?" She replied.

"Act like you're checking up on me," Raven said through clenched teeth, writhing in apparent pain.

Abby nodded in understanding — Kent Beley, Mike Bogdanovic, and Shawn Gillmer lay nearby, sweating out their flu. "Stay still." In a lower voice, she asked, "What's going on?"

"This was the only way we could think to see you without drawing attention," Monty whispered, his back to the anti-Grounders. "Everyone's worried, Abby. Miller's dad has been missing for days, same with Albright and Sinclair. And Wick was taken this morning."

"Wick?" Abby asked, absently pressing on certain points of Raven's hip, asking in a normal voice if it hurt there. She kept her eyes on Raven, though she could barely focus on the task at hand.

"He was called to Abbot's office to help with the new irrigation problem, but he never came back to work," Monty said with a small nod. "Guy came to fetch him."

Abby nodded; it seemed like Abbot had the kids doing his dirty work.

"No one knows what to do, Abby. The guards are following Scanlan in Miller's absence, but—"

"Not anymore," Abby said, nodding over her shoulder at Scanlan passed out in a cot. "I'm told there was a training mishap and Scanlan got the worst end of a shock baton. At least that's what Lacroix and Banks told me when they dragged him in here."

"I don't buy it," Raven said, her eyes squeezed shut in pain.

"I don't either," Abby agreed.

"Abby, we need to find out what they are up to," Raven whispered, before grabbing her arm to stop her from touching her hip as she gasped in pain. Abby glanced over Raven's shoulder at the doors just as Lacroix walked through with Banks. They headed for Scanlan.

Abby's voice barely registered as a sound, her mouth opening a fraction of an inch. "I won't have you kids involved. If this goes south, I won't have you paying the price."

"We're helping, Abby. For Kane. We're doing this because it's the right thing." Monty whispered as he steadied Raven who was swaying on the cot. She collapsing into the pillow, her eyes squeezing shut as she cried out. "I've already set up surveillance in Abbot's quarters, Rebecca helped me."

"Rebecca?"

"You should talk to Gwen," Raven whispered as she flinched away from Abby's hands for show.

"Did Marcus clear the surveillance?" She asked as she reached for a bottle of pain medication. She couldn't help but notice the look Raven and Monty shared with each other. She handed the bottle to Raven and whispered, "What aren't you telling me?"

Raven unscrewed the cap as she replied, "No one can find him."

Abby's eyes widened but that was the only reaction she allowed herself as Lacroix walked their way. He stepped up next to Raven's cot and said, "Doctor Griffin, a word?"

She nodded and said, "I can take it from here, Monty. Why don't you get back to work?"

"Just take care of her," Monty said as he gripped Raven's hand. Lacroix watched him leave, his eyes narrowing, before turning back to Abby. Raven leaned back in the pillows, sighing as she acted like the medicine was working. Her eyes drifted shut.

"What did you give her?" Lacroix asked.

Abby took the bottle from Raven's limp hand. "A sedative, for the pain."

He nodded as she turned away and set the bottle down on the table. Abby closed her eyes briefly, thinking, before turning back to him. "What can I do for you, Sergeant?"

"What's the status on the Lieutenant?" He asked, crossing his arms.

"Whoever was on the other end of that baton did a number on him," she said, glancing behind him at the unconscious guard. "He'll be out for a while."

Lacroix nodded. "Perhaps the Council should meet to appoint a new chief guard…for the time being of course."

"And what good would that do?" Abby asked, stepping toward him. She narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms over her chest. Staring at the man she assumed had taken Marcus from her was causing her blood to boil and it was taking everything in her to not lash out.

"We need to appoint someone to lead, Doctor," he said, glaring at her.

"Take it up with the Chancellor," she said, a challenge in her voice. She wanted him to admit it, to admit what he had done.

Lacroix grinned and said, "He needs his rest, he took quite the beating. I thought I'd ask you instead. You are his second-in-command, are you not?" He leaned toward her, so close she could feel his hot breath on her ear. She didn't dare move though. "Or is that just in the bedroom?"

"Captain Helm is in charge." She said, keeping her voice as steady as possible.

"Yes, ma'am," Lacroix said, a smirk on his face. He looked her over before turning and motioning for Banks to follow him from the room. Once the doors slid shut, Abby walked toward her office and sat down at the desk, putting her face in her hands. The sobs tore through her first, then her whole body was shaking. She couldn't do this, not again, she couldn't imagine him laying somewhere, bloody and gasping for breath.

It wasn't long before she felt his small arms wrap around her. She turned and looked at him through tear-filled eyes. Benja held her, his face close to hers, as he whispered, _"Yu ste os._ | You're okay."

* * *

"What the hell happened while I was gone?" Kane asked, pressing his back against the wall so not to disturb his stitches. "How was Pike released?"

"It was Banks' shift," Miller started, sitting next to him on the bench. "He put something in Denby's canteen, gave him an awful stomach ache. By the time his replacement arrived the door was open, Pike was gone, and Banks was unconscious on the floor. When he came to, Banks said Pike was complaining of pain in his side, he wanted a doctor. He said when he went in to see what was wrong, Pike overpowered him, grabbed his baton, and knocked him over the head with it."

"We get it, David, they're on the same side," Bennett called in a monotone from his spot on the floor. "Banks released him and had Pike knock him out. It's simple."

Miller ignored him and continued, "The three of us were taken when we convened a Council meeting. It was late, we should have waited until morning, but we had to know what was going on. Abbot came with his guards and said we had no place on the Council anymore. They put bags over our heads and dragged us down here."

Kane nodded slowly. "How long have you been here, Wick?"

"A few hours," he said with a frown. "They haven't taken me yet."

"What do you mean?" He asked, looking at the other three in the room. He noticed for the first time the deep bruise surrounding Sinclair's right eye, the outline of a hand on Bennett's neck, and the bruise blossoming on Miller's cheek.

"They ask you questions, rough you up when you don't answer. They want to know what we know about them, what we know about the Grounders." Sinclair said, catching Kane's eye. "You don't want to see the other bruises."

"I think I know what it is like," Kane muttered, running a hand absently over one of his broken ribs.

"No doubt you do," Sinclair said sadly.

"So, how'd the Chancellor end up in here?" Wick asked, leaning against the wall near Kane's bench.

Kane sighed. "I went to remove Abbot from the Council and Lacroix shocked me from behind. There's not much to it."

Wick nodded. It was silent for a few minutes before he said, "I have to ask, what's with the face, man?"

"What?" Kane asked, looking up at him.

"This," Wick said as he ran his hand over his own jawline, his eyes on Kane. "I liked the beard."

Kane rolled his eyes. "I needed a change."

"Hell of a change," Wick said, smirking. Kane knew he could count on Wick to keep the spirit up, even here. If they made it out, he would have to thank the man; he would have to thank a lot of people.

"Who cares about his shaving habits," Bennett said, shooting a glare at Wick. "How the hell are we getting out of here?"

"This coming from the guy who's done nothing but mope the last two days?" Sinclair said, a hard look on his face.

Bennett's nostrils flared and his eyes turned cold. He spat, "Things have changed, haven't they? Our chancellor has been locked up. There's not much hope left is there? This is probably how we die, Sinclair, unless we do something about it."

"Nobody's dying," Wick snapped.

"And how do you know that?" Bennett asked, eyes narrowing at him.

"I have faith in my girl, and Kane's." He smiled. "And the rest of our friends. They'll get us out of this."

"You're putting your life in the hands of a bunch of juvenile delinquents? I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you, Wick," Bennett said, slumping against the wall again.

"Just ignore him," Wick said, turning his back to Bennett. "If he wants to give up, he can give up, but I know Raven won't give up on me. I know Abby won't give up on you, Kane; your son won't give up on you, Miller; your wife won't give up on you, Sinclair. We just have to have hope."

If there was anyone he had faith in, it was Abby Griffin. Wick was right, she would never give up on him, but did she even know he was missing? He knew she would stay in Medical until everything seemed under control and who knew when that would be? He frowned and leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes.

"You okay?" Wick asked, but Kane didn't respond, didn't open his eyes. He heard Wick sigh. He whispered, "I can't have you losing hope too, Kane. What happened to the guy who crawled through a boiling hot maintenance shaft to—"

The harsh scrape of metal on metal sliced through the room and the rest of Wick's sentence died off as Kane's eyes flashed open. There were light footsteps on the floor, coming toward their cell — judging by the looks on the others' faces, this hadn't happened before. A face appeared behind the metal that kept them caged in.

"Octavia," Kane whispered, standing with difficulty to walk to the diagonal bars. "You shouldn't be here."

"Neither should you," she said. "I've been looking for you everywhere."

The smile came on its own, forcing itself onto his face. She didn't see though, she had moved to the keypad, looking it over. She looked at the others in the cell and asked, "Any of you know the code?"

"Would we still be in here if we did?" Sinclair asked, resting his head in his hands.

"Just asking," she said, raising her hands in defense. "I'll have Monty work on it. We have to get you guys out of here."

"What's going on out there?" Miller asked, perking up on the bench.

"Lacroix's in charge of the guard, he took out Helm who Abby appointed to replace Scanlan." She said, walking back to where Kane was. She glanced at him, a frown on her face. "Monty's put surveillance in Abbot's quarters. Rebecca's given us a list of everyone involved with the anti-Grounders."

"And…?" Kane asked, an eyebrow raised.

"It's not good. There are a lot more of them than we thought, Kane." She said quietly. "Lincoln's not safe here, but I can't get him to leave."

"He won't leave, Octavia, you know that. Not when people here need his help."

She nodded and said, "I'll bring Monty down here tonight to try to break open the door."

"It's too dangerous—"

"I'm doing this, Kane, we all are." Octavia said as she turned away. She was halfway down the corridor by the time he called out for her.

"Octavia," Kane whispered, stepping closer to the bars. She turned back to him. "Can you tell Abby something for me?"

She nodded.

He had so many things he wanted to say, but he would save them for Abby herself. He said, "Tell her to get Benja out."

"Anything else?" Octavia asked, an eyebrow raised.

"And not to worry about me."

"Have you met that woman, Kane?" She called quietly over her shoulder as she headed for the vent she had come from. The corner of Kane's mouth pulled up into a smile as he walked back to his seat.

None of them felt like talking after she left, content to sit in silence and think over what she had said. Kane worried over Abbot's next move, about where Pike was hiding. He worried over Abby and Benja's safety, over Octavia and Lincoln's, over the rest of the kids'. Mostly, he worried over Bellamy and what his death would do to him if they didn't get Pike to Polis in time. They had three more days. He couldn't let Bellamy die for his mistakes, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. He would accept any beating if it meant that boy was safe.

It wasn't long before the door down the hallway opened and the men stared toward the noise. Footsteps echoed down the hallway and Sinclair muttered, "Here we go again."

"Come on, Kane, let's see what you know." Banks' voice came from behind the door. Sergeant Nelson stood next to him — Kane hadn't expected him to be involved, yet here he was. He looked almost guilty and refused to meet his chancellor's eyes.

Kane started to stand, but Wick placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned to Banks who had opened the door. Wick said, "Does he look like he's up for that? That man's already been through hell, give him a break. Let me go instead."

Banks smiled and said, "If that's what you really want, but you don't know what you are in for."

Wick started for the door, but Kane pushed himself to his feet and hurried after him. He clutched at his ribs, feeling like he was going to pass out from the pain that coursed through his body as he drew in each breath. Somehow, he managed to grasp Wick's arm before he reached the door and pull him back to face him. "I can't let you do this, Wick."

"Kane, look at yourself. Do you really think you can survive any more?" Wick asked, placing a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

"There's no way I'm letting you do this for me," Kane said, glaring at him. He pushed Wick away with a grunt, toward the others at the back of the cell, and walked toward the door. He held out his wrists for Banks and said, "Let's get this over with."

* * *

Abby stared at the empty bed for the longest time, at the half-filled glass of water, at the bottle of pain medication. The bed was unmade and, somehow, that was worse for her, worse than him not being there — he always made the bed, every morning without fail. She had gotten so used to seeing it that way, the rumbled blankets were a shock to her system.

Her arms wrapped around herself and she felt a shiver run through her spine. Why did he do something so stupid and reckless as confront Abbot in private? He had to have known the plan wasn't going to work. He should have done it at the next Council meeting or somewhere very public with a lot of witnesses.

 _"Abi?"_ She turned and found Benja staring at her from the doorway. " _Linkon, Okteivia, en Monti kamp raun hir._ | Lincoln, Octavia, and Monty are here."

She nodded and gave the empty bed one last look before walking out into the living room. Monty was walking around with a small device in his hand, sweeping for bugs. Octavia stood from the couch and walked to her. She hugged her tight and whispered, "Gwen's on her way as soon as she can sneak off."

Abby nodded and hugged her back. It was a few minutes before they were given the all clear by the boy. They were all sitting on the couch by then and Monty sat with the others there, Benja in the chair, Abby standing behind him feeling so out of place in her own home.

"I found Kane," Octavia said quietly. Abby's head shot to look at her and she gave the girl a small smile, but it didn't last long. "He's in this lockup with the others. Monty and I are going down there tonight to try and break into the keypad."

Abby shook her head. "You can't, it's too dangerous."

A smile flashed across Octavia's face. "That's what Kane said. He also said that you have to get Benja out."

The boy perked up at the sound of his name and looked back at Abby, a question on his face. She placed her hand on his shoulder, but didn't answer him. Abby looked at Octavia again and asked, "Did he say anything else?"

Octavia and Lincoln looked at each other, something of a private joke on their faces. She said, "For you not to worry about him."

"I want to see him," Abby said, pulling away from Benja and walking around the chair to face her.

"It's dangerous enough for Octavia, Abby," Lincoln said. "If she's too loud in the vents, if anyone hears her…We can't send more people than necessary."

"Then point me in the right direction!" Abby yelled, balling her fists up.

"Abby, I can get Kane out," Monty said quietly. She looked at him and eyebrow raising. He took a deep breath and said, "I just need a little time with the keypad. But, that's the bad part."

"What's so bad about that?" Abby asked. None of them were looking at her at that point and her face fell. "What are they doing to them?"

Octavia sighed before saying, "We'll have to wait until they either take one of them to be _questioned_ or until right after they bring one back. The guards don't check on them often, we'll have time to deal with the keypad then."

"I'm guessing questioning doesn't mean what I think it means," Abby said, her jaw tensing. Octavia shook her head. Abby nodded to herself, biting the inside of her cheek to keep her emotions in check. "I need one of you to go to the radio and tell Indra that we're getting the boy out. He's not safe here, not with Marcus gone."

The three of them nodded. Octavia said, "We'll get him out with the others, Abby. Everything's going to be okay."

They were gone by the time Gwen arrived late that night. She slipped through the door and Abby didn't look up from her spot on the couch. Benja started in the chair, hands tensing on the book Penn had given Kane. Abby whispered absently, " _En's ogud._ | It's okay."

Benja settled back into the chair and flicked open the book, but kept his eye on Gwen as she sat next to Abby on the couch. She had a pile of paperwork in front of her, trying to get through it, trying to keep her mind off of everything that was happening around camp.

"Keeping busy?" Gwen asked, watching her as her hand scribbled over the paper, handwriting barely legible. She still didn't look up at her and it took Gwen placing her hand over Abby's to make her stop. She looked at her, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall. Gwen squeezed her hand and said, "Abby, I'm sorry. He'll be okay."

"Please don't talk about him," she whispered. Gwen pulled her hand away and leaned back against the couch.

"You act like he's only yours, Abby," Gwen said in a voice so quiet, Abby thought for a moment she hadn't said anything at all. Her hand paused on the paper and she looked at the other woman.

Gwen had tears in her eyes as she stared absently at the table in front of them. Her shoulders were slumped, her skin splotchy. Abby never thought about how this was affecting Gwen and Rebecca. They had been in his life a lot longer than she had. Gwen had been with him for five years, Abby had only been with him for four months. They both understood the cost of loving a man like Marcus Kane, a man who always put their people before himself.

"I know he's not just mine," Abby said gently, reaching over and squeezing her shoulder. "I haven't asked you how you're doing."

Gwen blinked at her. "I'm scared, Abby. Rebecca can't lose another father." She frowned. "Not that the first one was much of anything."

Abby pulled her hand away from Gwen's shoulder and took her hand instead. "Filip, right?" She nodded. "I remember him. I patched him up too many times to count on the Ark."

"He liked to fight when he drank and he drank often," Gwen whispered. "He would have been floated long before his time if Marcus hadn't been looking out for us. Marcus was on the guard at the time, not yet on the Council, but he still could cover up Filip's crimes."

Abby's brows furrowed, she didn't want to talk about this with Gwen, but she knew it was the right thing to do. Gwen wasn't in a good place right now — with Abbot and the anti-Grounder resistance — she needed something to distract her. Abby understood that well, the mountain of paperwork on the coffee table a testament to that.

She squeezed Gwen's hand and asked, "Why did Marcus do it?"

A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. "I grew up with him on Mecha. We were neighbors, he was a little older. He would always help me with my Earth Skills homework, which I was dreadful at, because he had already done it years before."

"He was always very good at Earth Skills," Abby commented and Gwen nodded. They were silent for a moment before Abby said, "This was always the dream, coming down here. I guess we never imagined how hard it would be once we made it."

"We weren't supposed to be the ones here, Abby," Gwen reminded her.

She nodded. Silence descended on them, the only noise the occasional flicking of a page as Benja made his way through Penn's book. Abby released Gwen's hand and reached for the paperwork again.

"I noticed you took off your wedding ring," Gwen said, glancing down at Abby's hand. She pulled it away self-consciously. "I never had the courage to. Your husband was a better man than mine and I couldn't let go. I couldn't admit that Kane was the one I wanted then, so the ring stayed on."

"Jake's my past," Abby whispered, running her finger over the spot her ring had been for 20 years. "Marcus is my future."

Gwen smiled and stared at the movement of Abby's finger. "You deserve each other."

"Why do you say that?"

"You've changed him, Abby," she said with a small smile. "When we were together, the Council made him cold. But you've done something to him — I don't know what it is — but he's better for it."

Abby knew no one could change Marcus, not unless he wanted to change. It had to be his decision, he was too stubborn to let anyone do anything he didn't want them to. But she wasn't about to tell Gwen that because it meant that he had not wanted to be a better person when he was with her.

"Did you get the list?" Gwen asked and Abby nodded. She had read over the list Monty had left with her, the one Rebecca had compiled of every anti-Grounder in the camp. Some of the names had surprised her, but she didn't really care who was involved anymore; all that mattered was getting Pike to Polis and getting Bellamy back, they would deal with everyone else after. "What's the plan?"

"The kids are trying to break into the cell right now," Abby said, tapping the pen against the paper.

"And after?"

"We get out of here. We let Pike and Abbot think they're winning, that we've given up. We bring back our Grounder friends and take back this camp from them." She said, eying Gwen's reaction. "You can come with us."

Gwen shook her head. "Someone has to keep you informed on what they're doing."

Abby nodded, feeling a deep wave of gratitude toward her. She owed them nothing, there was no reason she should be doing this, yet Abby trusted her. Abby understood better than anyone why Gwen was doing this — it was all for Rebecca. And there was nothing a mother wouldn't do for her child.

"Abbot's planning something big," Gwen said in a quiet voice. "You should have those kids monitor that bug tonight. I think he's bringing Pike out."

Abby nodded and watched as Gwen pulled away and walked toward the door. She was gone a second later. Abby looked to the paperwork in front of her and tossed the pen down.

 _"Ai na komba raun._ | I will be back." She said quietly to Benja as she walked out the door to tell whichever delinquent she found first to monitor the radio. The boy didn't even look up from his book, used to people leaving him.

An hour later, Abby pulled the pillow toward her, curling her arms around it. She thought her talk with Gwen would make her feel better, but it had done the opposite. Talking about Marcus had caused a pain to erupt in her chest and it hadn't gone away, even when she was talking with Harper and Nate Miller about the bug. It only worsened when they told her that Monty wasn't making any headway with the keypad.

 _"Abi?_ " His voice was quiet, but it echoed through the silent room and caused her to jump. She turned in the bed and found Benja standing in the doorway. Even in the darkness of the room, she could see the tears on his face. _"Weron Markos kamp raun?_ | Where's Marcus?"

Despite not knowing the language, he understood what was going on. His face was ashen and he kept licking his lips, an anxious tic if she'd ever seen one. Abby beckoned him to her as she replied, _"Em don jak kom oso op._ | He was taken from us."

 _"Em don biyo em nou na bants nodotaim nowe._ | He said he wasn't leaving again." He mumbled as he crossed the room to her. She nodded to herself and whispered, _"Em nou don bants._ | He did not leave."

 _"Ai ste fir raun._ | I'm afraid." He whispered to the floor.

" _Miya, Benja_ | Come here, Benja," Abby said, scooting over in the bed to make room for him. She patted the spot next to her. He looked at her for a moment, the tears falling more freely now, before he climbed onto the bed. Abby pulled the blanket over him and laid back. " _Oso na hon em komba raun in, ai swega klin. Ba fos, oso na gaf gonot in hir._ | We will get him back, I promise. But first, we need to leave here."

She felt him shift in the bed and his arms were wrapping around her, his body curling against her side. Abby laid there, stunned for a moment, before she hugged him back. He rested his head against her shoulder and whispered, " _Ba Markos?_ | But Marcus?"

 _"Ai swega em in daun ai na ge yu au._ | I promised him I would get you out." She said slowly, hoping he understood. She didn't want to talk about it anymore, she couldn't talk about him. All she could think about was him being beaten again, about them being too late to save Bellamy, about what it would do to him. He cared about Bellamy like he was his own son and she didn't want to think about what it would do to Marcus if they were too late in getting to Polis.

Benja said the words slowly, they were so foreign on his tongue, "May we meet again."

She pulled away from him so she could look at his face. _"Weron don yu sen daun in?_ | Where did you hear that?"

"Marcus," he whispered. Abby pulled him to her again and hugged him tightly, letting the sobs tear through her. Benja wrapped himself around her, holding her with just as much force, letting himself feel his grief too.

* * *

"Abby! Abby, wake up!" Her eyes flashed open and she blinked away the sleep. She pulled Benja toward her on reflex as she stared at the figure next to the bed, missing a time when their room was truly private.

"Harper?" She asked, her voice thick with sleep. "What time is it?"

"4:30." She said it like it was a perfectly acceptable time to break into someone's quarters and wake them up. "We have a problem."

"What now?" Abby asked as she pulled away from a still sleeping Benja and climbed out of bed. She should have been embarrassed by how revealing her outfit was, but Harper didn't seem to care either. She reached for a pair of pants to pull on under the long shirt.

"Pike's out," she said, her jaw tense. "Well, he will be. He's in Abbot's quarters, we heard it through the bug. He's going public today, using Kane's beating as an excuse to rile more people to their cause. Gwen was right."

Abby nodded and turned her back to Harper to strip off Marcus' shirt and pull on one of her own. She grabbed her jacket and glanced at the bed, meeting a pair of brown eyes. She knelt next to the bed and touched his arm, whispering, _"Yu nou bants hir. Ste daun klir?_ | You don't leave here. Is that clear?"

Benja nodded frantically and she ran out the door after Harper.

* * *

 **Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated! :)**

 **This chapter was really hard for me, so please let me know how I'm doing, especially now that we've strayed so far from the show (which in my opinion isn't a terrible thing at all). I love hearing what you all have to say! -TenToo**


	30. Arkadia No More

_"We're at war and a warrior does not mourn those she's lost till after the battle is won."_ — Indra, "Rubicon"

* * *

Monty and Jasper's room was messy, littered with beakers and spare electronic parts — it would seem that they took their work home often. Abby followed Harper into the room, unsurprised to find Monty still gone. Jasper sat at the receiver with Nate Miller. She could hear a man talking through the receiver, transmitted by the bug planted somewhere in Abbot's quarters.

"Finally, an adult," Jasper muttered with a small grin. Abby pursed her lips to hide a smile as she sat down at the desk with the boys; Harper stood behind them, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What have they been saying?" Harper asked, nudging Jasper's leg with the toe of her boot.

"Just the usual crap. Abbot's planning for the big unveil at breakfast, so we have a few hours." He replied, a frown replacing the grin Abby was so used to seeing on him lately.

"What big unveil?" Abby asked, an image of a beaten and bloody Marcus being thrown into the middle of the crowd flashing through her mind.

"Pike," Miller said quietly. The way he looked at her, she could tell he had been thinking along the same lines as her. She had to remind herself that she wasn't the only one in the room who was at risk of losing someone close to them. Miller's boyfriend, Bryan, had been on the anti-Grounder list too; aside from Abby, he risked losing the most in this battle to come.

"Have Monty and Octavia…?" She let her sentence trail off, unable to finish it. Miller shook his head, his face grim. "Who did they have to wait for?"

"Kane," Miller whispered. "They brought him back just after midnight. Monty said he didn't look too good, Abby. I'm sorry."

"He's alive though?" She said, biting the inside of her cheek to keep her emotions in check. All three of them nodded quickly to ease her worries.

"They had to stop again around 3 a.m. when they took Miller's dad," Harper said, eying the boy as his head fell to his chest. "He hasn't been brought back yet."

"And how do they know they won't be caught?" Abby asked.

"Monty put a bug in the hallway outside, Octavia has the earpiece so he can work undisturbed." Jasper said, a smile breaking through despite the tense situation. He had every right to be proud of his friend, she didn't blame him one bit.

"What did he just say?" Harper asked sharply, stepping toward the receiver. All of them leaned in as Miller turned up the volume as loud as he dared.

 _"And what are we going to do about the people who resist?"_ Came Abbot's voice through the receiver. _"That cell's not big enough for all of the people we know we are going to have a problem with."_

 _"We can put them in regular Lockup,"_ Gwen replied. _"They won't be a problem for us there and we'll be in charge after today."_

 _"Or we could just kill them,"_ Pike said nonchalantly.

 _"Kane didn't kill you—"_ Gwen began.

 _"We're not Kane!"_ Pike yelled, his voice so loud in the receiver, feedback rang through the room. Jasper and Harper shot a look at each other. None of them knew if it was only on their end. But Pike continued as if he hadn't heard a thing, _"His cowardice is the only reason we haven't killed him yet."_

 _"People in this camp love that man,"_ Gwen said quietly and Abby wondered if she was forgetting the role she was supposed to be playing.

 _"Gwen, I know you used to date the man, but you can't let that get in the way of what he's done."_ Abbot whispered gently.

 _"If he was still the man I dated, he would be on our side,"_ she said coldly. _"He's too far gone, I know that, Ab. All I'm saying is if you want to keep this camp under control, you can't start killing people who resist us."_

There was silence on the other end for several minutes, but none of them dared say anything for fear of missing out on the next piece of information — who knew what they had talked through. Abby almost wondered if the second half of Gwen's statement was directed toward her rather than Abbot. Was she telling her that they had to find another way to take out Pike without risking the loss of lives? Or was it just Abby's sleep deprived brain trying to come up with some connection to keep Roan out of the equation because she didn't want to risk Kane's life?

Abbot's voice came through the receiver again, _"We throw them in Lockup, it'll show that we are truly in charge."_

 _"Fine, but if anyone gets out of line, I'm taking them out."_ Pike barked.

 _"No, you won't, Charles,"_ Gwen snapped. _"Our people aren't the enemy, the Grounders are. If we're going to end the Grounder threat, we can't make our own people enemies too."_

There was a pause and Abby met Miller's gaze, he looked just as impressed as she was. Pike said, _"You had better be right, Gwen. Or all of their blood will be on your hands."_

 _"No, Charles, it will be on yours."_ Gwen yelled.

The sound of a door slamming shut came through the receiver and the four of them looked up from the machine. The only sounds that came through it now were the rattled breaths of Gwen and the murmuring of Abbot as he tried to calm her down.

"Abby?" Miller asked quietly. She looked at him, not quite focused on him though. "What's the plan?"

"We have to get Benja out today, but we have to wait until we know where Abbot, Pike, and the guard are," she said, blinking away her daze. "This has to be well orchestrated or I'm not risking it."

The three of the kids looked at each other.

"I'll be with the guard all day, we have extra training on Lacroix's orders. I think it's Grounder Killing 101," Miller said with a frown. "The only guards not at training will be at the gates and I guess guarding the door leading to the cell. Monroe is on gate duty, she can keep us informed there."

"Monty will be with Abbot in Agro, helping with the irrigation problem since Wick's…gone." Jasper said before glancing at Harper. "It's between you and me to trail Pike."

"I'll do it," Harper said, staring Jasper down. He nodded but Abby said, "Harper, you don't have to—"

"Yes, I do." She interrupted. "For Kane. Jasper will lead Benja out."

Determination was written on every inch of her face and Abby didn't dare fight her on it. The other two wore similar expressions and her heart soared with gratitude. These kids were willing to risk everything to help them and Abby knew it was because she and Kane had been there to help them when they needed it most.

"Okay," Abby whispered with a nod. "Thank you."

Breakfast was hours later, Abby spent the time finalizing the plan with the three of them. Monty returned around 6:30 a.m. looking thoroughly worn out and dejected. His eyes met Abby's and all he could do was shake his head. She didn't let her disappointment show, she squeezed his arm reassuringly on her way out of the room.

She stopped in at home to tell Benja to get ready before heading to breakfast. She sat down alone with her plate, but was soon joined by Raven Reyes and Gabriella Sinclair. She whispered, "You shouldn't be seen with me."

"Why not?" Raven asked, staring at her. Abby noticed how her eyes had lost some of their light. "Pike and Abbot know who they have in Lockup, we obviously know that our loved ones are missing. It wouldn't be that hard to put two and two together."

"Abby, there is really no point hiding that we know what they are doing," Gabriella whispered to her plate.

"We don't have to draw attention to ourselves by being together," Abby said, absently pushing her food around her plate.

" _They're_ the resistance, they know who their members are. Anyone who isn't one of them is considered an enemy," Gabriella reasoned and Abby hated to admit that she was right. They had the upper hand because they were the ones plotting to overthrow order, if Abby and the others admitted that they knew who each of them were, they would lose all leverage they had. They couldn't arrest any of them without proof of their crimes, that wasn't the way they did things.

"Are you going to try anything with Pike when he's revealed?" Raven asked, bringing her out of her thoughts. Abby shook her head. "Why not? After everything he's done?"

"I'm not risking my own freedom. They think they've won, let them." Abby said, watching Abbot enter the room, followed by Gwen and Pike. Every eye in the room was on Charles Pike as he followed the other two toward the front of the room. His gaze met Abby's for the briefest of moments and she forced herself to remain calm. A small grin appeared on his face as he looked away.

"Can I be there when the Grounders rip his tongue out?" Raven muttered. Abby nodded, not looking at her as the three of them stopped in the center of the mess hall.

"What's he doing out?" Jeff Trebenski called from his table. Given his company — Guy Henriksen, Mark Black, and Megan Pass — it would seem that he didn't know he was wildly outnumbered by anti-Grounders at the table. Mischa Rosen touched his arm and whispered something to him, Abby assumed something along the lines of _sit down and shut up._

"We're here to talk to you about the Grounder situation," Pike said, ignoring Jeff's outburst. It seemed like it was common knowledge that there was a prisoner missing from Lockup. As for the other disappearances, Abby couldn't tell if others knew. "We all know how dangerous they are and given what they just did to our Chancellor, we can't sit idly by any longer."

"They only did that to him because you and your friends massacred 300 warriors!" Raven yelled and Abby grabbed her arm, gripping it tightly to shut her up. Pike's eyes darkened as he glared at her, Abby wondered how long it would be before she disappeared too.

"I did what I had to to protect this camp, Ms. Reyes," Pike snarled, holding her glare before glancing at Abby. There was a challenge in his eye and when he spoke again, she understood why: he was daring her to contradict what he was about to say. "We live in a kill or be killed world, our Chancellor didn't understand that and look where it got him. He's bedridden after the surgery that repaired the damage done to him at the hands of our enemy. Now more than ever, we know that the Grounders are to blame for all of our problems. We can't keep going on like everything's okay."

He was the first to look away and, when he did, Abby's eyes met Gwen's. There was an apology there and also a hint of fear. But Gwen wore a cold expression and held her head high as she stood with two men she was terrified of. Abby admired her bravery.

"Who of you will stand with us against the Grounders?" Pike proclaimed. All of the known anti-Grounders stood, but that was it. "The rest of you will come around when we show you what we've done in vengeance for our Chancellor."

"And where's our Chancellor now?" Abby called, all eyes in the mess hall turning to her. Raven's widened in disbelief — Abby herself was surprised she had said it. But she couldn't sit there while they talked like he was in their quarters, resting. It was like Pike was seeing red as he glared at her and Abbot looked so dumbfounded it would have been endearing if Abby liked him even a little.

"Safe and sound in your quarters, Abby, _did you lose him_?" Abbot said when he had recovered.

Abby smirked and said, "He would be hard to misplace, given the injuries he took to sustain our alliance with the Grounders after your actions threatened to destroy it."

She stood from her seat and walked out of the room, feeling the eyes of everyone on her back. She walked swiftly down the hallway, never stopping until she walked through the doors of Medical. Jackson perked up at her arrival. He finished with the patient he was tending to and walked toward her quickly. He took her by the elbow and steered her toward her office. "You shouldn't be here, Abby. You should be long gone."

"I'm not leaving without him," Abby said quietly.

"You can't do anything for him if you're dead," Jackson whispered, his grip tightening. "Leave while you still can."

"Jackson, I—"

"Abby!" She turned around and found Charles Pike storming through the room, startling several sick patients.

"You have no business here, Pike," she said simply as he strode into her office. "These people need rest."

He glared at her but spoke to Jackson, "Give us a moment."

Jackson looked at her, his hand tightening on her arm protectively, but she nodded. He blinked at her and ran his thumb over her forearm but she nodded again, this time toward the door, making it a little more obvious that she wanted him gone. Once the door slid shut behind him, she looked at Pike and asked, "What's this about?"

"You know damn well what this is about, Abby," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What I said at breakfast?" She asked, staring hard at him. "I was just stating the obvious. You told everyone that Marcus was hurt by the Grounders, yet you offered no proof. I know why you couldn't bring him out, there would be bruises fresher than those he got at the hands of Titus."

"You don't know what you've done, Abby," Pike said, shaking his head. Abby just rolled her eyes and looked down at the paperwork on her desk. "I just hope you're smart enough to know to stay out of our way, I don't want to hurt you, too."

She glared up at him, feeling her muscles tense in her back. He knew what that one word would do to her and the smug look on his face told her that he got the reaction he wanted. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves, before she whispered, "What have you done to him?"

"He'll be fine so long as he cooperates, the same can be said of you." He spat.

She nodded but said, "If you think I'm going to sit idly by while you destroy everything this camp stands for, you're delusional Charles. Get out, I have patients to tend to. Or are you going to deny me my right to do my job?"

He glared at her for a moment before striding from the room, passing a stunned Jackson on the way.

* * *

 _"Yu get in haukom yu na gaf gonot, nami?_ | You know why you have to leave, right?" Abby asked quietly as she sat with him on the couch.

Benja nodded, his arms wrapped tightly around his bag. _"Skaikru na bash ai op._ | Skaikru means to harm me."

She shook her head. _"Nou en, nou oyu lukot._ | Not everyone, not your friends."

He nodded. _"Markus na ste os hir?_ | Marcus will be okay here?"

 _"Hofli_ | Hopefully," she muttered, not looking at him.

The door opened on its own and Abby watched Jasper slip quickly into the room. The panic in his eyes alarmed her, but he had never been one to hide his emotions well. He reached for her arm and said, "We have to go now."

"That's not the plan, Jasper. You take Benja—"

"The plan's changed, Abby!" He said in a rush. "Pike's going to arrest you. We have to go _now._ "

"Is everyone ready?" She asked, pulling Benja to her as she followed Jasper to the door.

He nodded. "Monty has eyes on Abbot at work, Miller and Monroe are with the guard, Harper's keeping Pike in her sight. They will radio if anything changes." He knelt down in front of Benja and whispered, " _Yu en Abi ste gonot nau, nami?_ | You and Abby are leaving now, okay?"

Benja looked up at Abby with a question in his eyes and she nodded. Jasper rose to his feet and took Benja's backpack from him — it wouldn't bode well for them if they were spotted and the boy looked like he was fleeing. He opened the door and slipped out into the hallway. Benja gripped Abby's hand and they followed swiftly.

The entire trip, the radio remained silent. The corridors were mostly empty. They only had to slip into an empty classroom once to allow someone to pass, but it turned out to be Jones Meikle, running late to guard training. It wouldn't have mattered if he saw them, he was on their side. It was better to be safe than sorry though.

They passed through the red divider that blocked off the storeroom. Jasper walked over and opened the panel, revealing Octavia Blake sitting cross-legged in the passageway, her hand tight on her sword. Her face was grim as she climbed out. Benja ran to her and hugged her tight, changing her mood drastically. Abby was surprised when a smile flashed across her face as she hugged the boy back.

" _Kamp raun gyon yu op, Ben._ | In you go, Ben." Octavia whispered, helping the boy through the hole in the wall.

Jasper handed Abby Benja's backpack and said, "Monty's going to try again with the door after his shift."

"Just tell him to be careful. I don't want any of them in there when the Grounders attack, but if it means Monty getting hurt or captured…I can't allow that." She said, looking at him with a frown. "Look out for everyone. _Osir jomp nat op_. | We attack tonight."

He nodded. "They'll be okay."

"Abby, let's go." Octavia said in a hushed whisper. Abby grasped Jasper's hand briefly squeezing it tight in her own. He smiled at her before pulling away and ducking through the divider. She walked over to Octavia, who had already hopped through the hole and was making her way along the passageway.

Abby climbed through the opening and crouched in the low passage. She closed her eyes and thought of Marcus, imagined him escaping by her side, gripping her hand as they stooped along the passageway to freedom and their army. Opening her eyes to the sad reality that he wasn't with her filled her with a blazing heat. She would burn this place to the ground if it meant saving him. She looked out into the empty storage room and whispered, "May we meet again," before closing the panel.

* * *

"I can keep this up all day, Marcus," Pike said as he watched Kane move his jaw back and forth, testing to see if it was broken. "But I don't think you can."

Kane stared at him before spitting out a glob of blood on the floor. Despite the pain he felt all over, he knew there was nothing Pike could do to make him talk. Pain was only temporary, he had learned, and Abby's safety meant more to him than a few more broken bones. He would kneel there all day — all week — on that cold floor with his hands tied behind his back if it meant she would be okay.

It was his second interrogation session, he had been taken the previous night around 10 p.m. and he had returned with another broken rib, a dozen new bruises, and a very swollen eye. Wick had worried over it, but he had his own problems when they took him for the first time that morning around 8 a.m. He had returned with a massive cut that stretched from his forehead down his cheek to his jaw and too many bruises to count. All he said was, "Raven pissed them off." When Pike came for Kane that afternoon, he knew it was because Abby had managed to escape — the look on Pike's face was something he had never seen before, it was something deeper than hatred, deeper than rage. He was out for blood and he was certainly getting it.

"I admire your loyalty, Marcus, I really do. But, I think I have something that'll change you mind." Pike walked over to the door and pounded on it twice. It opened immediately and Shawn Gillmer entered, pulling Jasper Jordan with him. The boy's hands were bound but it looked like they hadn't done anything to him. "Bring in the girl, too."

Banks steered Harper into the room, also restrained and unharmed. He barked, "On your knees."

Both of the kids knelt across from Kane and looked at him, the fear clear in their eyes. Pike took a knee next to Kane and said, "Now, I don't want to hurt them, Marcus, so how about you tell me where Abby went?"

 _"Nou tel em enitin op, Kein!_ | Don't tell him anything, Kane!" Harper shouted.

 _"AKS en BKP ste klir. Kep em daun wonwe in._ | AKS and BKP are safe. Keep it that way." Jasper added in a steady, clear voice. He followed it with a curt nod and Kane bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. He couldn't allow himself to react, not in front of Pike and his men. But he felt all of the tension in his body release, it was like opening the flood gates, all of the worry that had plagued him since he was thrown in Lockup rushed out of him in an instant.

 _Abby and Benja are safe, they are out of harm's way._

Pike could do whatever he wanted to him, the pain would be so insignificant compared to the hope that swelled inside of him — the hope that Abby would fix this, that she would rescue him, that he would see her again, that he would hold her again. Because there was no way in hell that the last words he ever spoke to Abigail Griffin could ever be _get out of here._

Pike snarled at Kane, " _In English_ , tell me who else helped Abby and that Grounder kid escape besides these two. I can't have your people wreaking havoc on this camp."

"You mean like you are?" Kane asked dully, looking at him defiantly. Pike's eyes flashed dangerously. Jasper smirked and Banks smacked it off his face, a dribble of blood forming on his lip when he looked up again. He didn't give them the satisfaction of making a sound, though Harper whimpered as if it had happened to her. Kane's fists tightened behind his back, but he couldn't do anything about it.

He realized his emotions must have broken through his cold facade when Pike said, "You don't like seeing them hurt, do you?" He nodded to Banks who grabbed Jasper by the bound wrists. He twisted his arms violently to the right, popping Jasper's left shoulder out of its socket. This time, he made a noise — a guttural sound that echoed throughout the small room and rattled through Kane's head. He felt a thickness in his throat and a tightness in his chest — he knew he had to put a stop to this, but he couldn't give Abby up.

Jasper recovered from the pain and his eyes met Kane's. The determination there surprised Kane and brought about turmoil within him — Jasper wasn't giving up despite his dislocated shoulder, why should he? Kane glanced at Harper and saw the same look, he nodded, a small movement, and knew that they understood. They wouldn't talk, they wouldn't show fear, they wouldn't give in.

"Now, Marcus, where is Abby?" Pike asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

The corner of Kane's mouth tugged in a small smile. "Do you really think that woman tells me anything?"

"You are practically married to her!" Pike yelled. "If you think I'm stupid enough to buy that, you are in for a rude awakening."

"I think you are a lot of things, Charles, but stupid is not one of them." Kane said with a smirk. "I could give you a list, if you wanted."

Pike let out a huff and muttered to Gillmer, "Break the girl's wrist."

Kane's eyes widened as they shot to Harper and she looked at him with a set jaw, committed to pay the price for their silence. The muscles in his neck seized up as he watched Gillmer grab her right wrist and snap it quickly. Harper didn't make a sound but when she exhaled slowly nearly a minute later, Kane saw blood in her mouth, no doubt from her biting down on her cheeks to keep her pain quiet. He swallowed hard as he watched the tears collect in her eyes.

Pike crouched down in front of Kane and whispered words only for him, "Do you want them to die? Because that's where we are headed. Tell me what I want to know or you'll force my hand."

"You're going to kill your own people, Charles?" He asked as he shook his head in disbelief. "What have you become?"

"You and these kids, those men in that cell, you're not my people." Pike spat as he gripped Kane's jacket tightly in his fist. "Gwen told me I couldn't kill you, she's the only reason any of you are alive. I would say you should thank her, but I'm going to make sure that you don't see the end of this war."

"There's not going to be a war, Charles," Kane said before thrusting his head against Pike's and knocking him backward. Kane regained his balance and watched as Pike stood up, reaching for his bloody nose. He couldn't hide the grin and he watched the blood flow freely. Pike pinched the bridge of his nose as he tilted his head toward the ceiling.

The next words that came out of Pike's mouth tore the grin from Kane's face. It drained the color from his skin, sucked the air from his lungs, froze the blood in his veins. Pike had a smile on his bloody face as he said in a loud, commanding voice, "Kill the boy."

Banks and Gillmer glanced at each other before shrugging. Harper muttered as she shook her head, _"No, no, no."_ She repeated it to herself as she watched with wide eyes as the two guards descended on Jasper and shoved him to the ground.

It felt like he was swallowing glass, but he couldn't stand the lump in his throat. He looked to Pike and yelled, "Punish me if you're going to punish someone!"

Pike smiled and said, "I am."

Kane felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest and he couldn't watch what was happening to Jasper. Hearing it was bad enough. He was crying out, the sounds were pathetic and Kane knew them well, he had made them himself not too long ago. Looking at Harper was almost as heartwrenching as watching Jasper. Tears streamed freely down her face and her hands clutched at themselves despite her broken wrist.

Pike was watching Kane, waiting for him to break. Despite all he was feeling inside, he managed to present the cold expression he favored on the Ark. But as the beating wore on, the facade began to tear itself down. It started with a wince as he heard a bone break. He didn't know which bone, he couldn't bear to look at Jasper, but it sounded like a large one given the intensity of the crack. Next came the shake of his chin, a movement he couldn't control no matter how hard he tried. He finally looked at Jasper and the sight sent the facade crumbling away, the tears collected in the corners of his eyes.

"Mount Weather! _"_ Kane screamed as Jasper grew quieter, the fight in him going out. He knew what it was like to get to that point of a beating, he knew what it would do to him. He didn't want Jasper to be like him. "They went to Mount Weather!"

Pike held a hand up and Banks and Gillmer stopped and stood. He knelt in front of Kane and said, "Who else helped them escape?"

"It was just these two as far as I'm aware; it's not that hard to sneak two people out, even when one is as well-known as Abby, when everyone's terrified to leave their quarters except for work. Your regime isn't the friendliest, Charles." Kane spat, forcing himself to meet Pike's eyes. He couldn't hear Jasper making any sounds, all he heard were Harper's cries.

The tightness returned to his chest and the thickness consumed his throat — it was all his fault. He had provoked Pike, he had attacked him. If Jasper died too, Marcus wouldn't be able to live with himself. He couldn't bear another ghost haunting his conscience. He already feared that he would soon have Bellamy's to keep the other 620 company.

* * *

 **Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated! :)**

 **The end of this chapter was hard for me, so please let me know how I'm doing, especially since we've strayed so far from the show (which in my opinion isn't a terrible thing at all). I love hearing what you all have to say! -Lauren**


	31. Death Comes Calling

_"Death can be an act of unity too."_ — Marcus Kane, "Stealing Fire"

* * *

"It's just through the trees," Octavia whispered. Abby nodded and Benja's grip on her hand tightened as they walked through the thicket. They had been walking since that morning and the sun was high in the sky now. Octavia took them east, rather than west toward Mount Weather, but Abby trusted that she knew where she was going. She hadn't been in contact with Roan since leaving Mount Weather, she had left that to Octavia and Lincoln. If Roan had moved his camp, Octavia was the one who would know.

The trees broke and they arrived in a massive clearing. Dozens of tents were set up and low fires crackled here and there, food cooking over them. A few Ice Nation warriors looked warily at them as they approached, standing and talking in low voices to each other. Whispers followed them as they walked further into the camp. Finally someone called out, " _Chon yo bilaik?_ | Who are you?"

 _"Osir laik Okteivia en Abi kom Skaikru en em laik Benja. Osir don kom hit Haihefa Rowin op._ | We are Octavia and Abby of the Sky People and he is Benja. We have come to meet with King Roan." Octavia said, raising her hands in surrender. Benja all but glued himself to Abby's side as he clung to her hand desperately.

One of the warriors blocked their path and said, " _Osir nou gaf yo sis in._ | We don't need your help."

" _Oso gaf omo fayogon in, York._ | We need their guns, York." Roan said, stepping out from the tent nearest to them. He beckoned to Abby, Octavia, and Benja as he said, "Come in."

They followed him into the tent and he nodded for the few warriors who stood around to leave. The tent flap fell shut behind them and Roan turned to face them. "I take it Kane's plan didn't work."

"No," Abby said simply. "He was arrested by their leader."

"Does he have that authority?" Roan asked with an eyebrow raised.

"No, but all he needed was one guard on his side and he has more than that," Abby said quietly.

He smirked and said, "Maybe you should be more selective about who you let into your Guard."

"We will in the future—"

"Can we get on with this? My brother's life kind of hangs in the balance here." Octavia interrupted, looking between the two of them from her spot against the tent pole in the center of the room.

"As you wish, Sky Girl," Roan said with a nod. "It is simple really, we attack tonight. There is no way around it."

"Marcus is still in their Lockup," Abby said with a glare. Roan raised a lazy eyebrow at her like he was failing to see how her statement was relevant. She clarified, "If we attack, Pike could kill him and the others."

"Then they die warrior deaths," he said simply with a shrug. "You have to be willing to make sacrifices for the greater good. We can't delay any longer, unless you want war with the Coalition."

She sighed and replied, "We attack tonight then, but Octavia and I go in through the passageway and try to break them out before it gets too messy."

"Do what you want, you should not be in the fight anyway. Octavia should though." Roan said, casting a look at her as she pushed off the tent pole and strode toward him in a huff.

"I'm not letting her go alone," Octavia said, her face hard as she jabbed her finger against his chest.

He studied her for nearly a minute before he said, "Maybe Indra was wrong about you. But do what you want, Sky Girl. I just hope that when the war comes, you know where your responsibility lies."

"My responsibility is to my chancellor," Octavia said, her eyes never leaving his. "And without him, no one will stand with you. I'll make sure of that."

* * *

Pike had at least been decent enough to give them a med kit after he had Kane, Harper, and Jasper thrown into the cell. Wick and Bennett managed to lay Jasper flat on his back on the floor before Miller and Sinclair knelt next to him and began to assess the damage. The boy was breathing rapidly and Kane couldn't bring himself to look at him. He, instead, snapped off the lid of the kit and broke it in half before grabbing a roll of self-adherent wrap. He walked to Harper who sat on the bench, her arms wrapped around legs that were drawn up onto the metal, and sat next to her.

"Is he going to be okay?" Harper whispered, her eyes on Jasper.

"He has to be," Kane said quietly. He reached out for her right arm and she gave it to him blindly. As he began to fashion the splint, he asked, "Are you all right?"

"Do I look all right, Kane?" She asked, still not taking her eyes off of the boy on the floor.

"He survived a spear to the chest, Harper, he can survive anything." Kane said as he began to roll the wrap over the two halves that made up the splint. He watched as a small smile cracked through the pain on her face.

"That seems like forever ago," she whispered. He understood what she meant. A lot had changed in the 5 months since the 100 were sent down to Earth, it felt like a lifetime to him and he had been on the ground a month less than the kids. He could only imagine what they had really gone through, how they had been feeling.

"It does," he said as he ripped off the end of the wrap and finished with the splint.

"Thank you," she said, glancing up at him as he stood. He looked down at her and said, "You have nothing to thank me for, Harper. I've caused you nothing but pain."

She touched his arm as he turned away. "Just because Pike's an asshole, doesn't mean this is your fault." A quiet laugh forced itself from his throat. If it were up to him, he would have turned away from her, suffered in silence. But she was insistent and gripped his arm tighter. "Kane, Jasper and I owe you and Abby. I don't think he would have lasted since Mount Weather without Abby's help."

"And why do _you_ owe us?" He asked curiously.

She smiled sadly at him. "You gave me a second chance. I never could have been on the Guard on the Ark, even if I was pardoned. The same goes for a lot of us. We owe you for your trust in us."

He gave her a small smile. "You earned that trust."

"And you've earned ours, so don't beat yourself up about this," she said quietly as he turned away from her. He walked toward the men on the floor and tossed the wrap into what was left of the kit.

He knelt next to Jasper and really took a look at him for the first time. Bruises were making themselves known on his face and when Miller pulled up his shirt to check for any signs of internal bleeding, he saw several large bruises on his ribs and up his sides. But nothing seemed to be seriously wrong. Miller lowered his shirt and glanced up at Kane, whispering something about the boy being lucky. Kane nodded absently but knew that if Jasper Jordan had any luck, he wouldn't have been caught in the first place.

It turned out that the bone he had heard break was Jasper's leg and Sinclair was setting it as best he could. They didn't have anything big enough to stabilize it with so Sinclair was working on wrapping it tightly to keep the bone that was threatening to poke through the skin from moving too much.

Kane felt the boy's forehead and was alarmed at how cold his skin was. He felt his arm, his stomach, his exposed leg. Miller noticed his movements and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I think he's in shock," Kane replied, glancing up at Miller as he shrugged out of his coat.

"How do you know?"

"Because I was in shock recently," Kane said simply as he draped his coat over Jasper's cold body. "It doesn't help that it's freezing down here."

Miller shook his head as he pulled off his guard jacket and placed it over Jasper's legs. He called over his shoulder at the others and said, "Jackets off, let's go."

Wick tossed his over, so did Bennett; the other two weren't wearing one. They covered Jasper completely, doubling up the layer on his torso. All of his serious injuries tended to, they stepped away and sat on the benches. They were silent for several minutes, all of them watching Jasper as he continued to hang on, his breathing slowing to a more normal rhythm.

"So what happened, Harper?" Wick finally asked, leaning his elbows against his knees as he stared at her from across the room. The other men looked at her expectantly.

"Pike caught me first, I was the one watching him." She whispered to the floor. "He was headed in the direction of the storage room, I was radioing Jasper from behind a pillar when Lacroix came up behind and knocked my legs out from under me. The radio went across the hallway, Lacroix got it before I could and Jasper was responding at that point. We're just lucky that no one else said anything."

They fell into silence again. Kane couldn't imagine having to watch more of the kids be hurt, didn't know how close they were to being caught too or who else had been working with them. He almost didn't want to know.

The door down the hallway burst open and four guards ran toward them, Banks punched the code into the keypad and threw open the cell door. He pointed at everyone on the benches and yelled, "You six, over here!" They ambled slowly to their feet and Banks barked, "Hurry up!"

They held out their arms for their zip tie handcuffs. Banks grabbed Miller and Sinclair by the arms and yanked them down the hallway. Smith took Wick, Hill took Bennett. That left Nelson with Kane and Harper.

"What about Jasper?" Harper asked as her hands were tied last.

Nelson grabbed her arm and Kane's as he whispered, "Believe me, you don't want him coming too." Kane looked at him peculiarly as he was led out of the cell. The door swung shut behind them. Nelson glanced at him and said quietly, "I'm sorry for this, Kane, I really am."

"You can stop it, Thomas," Kane muttered but the guard shook his head.

"I've got a kid on the way, Kane." He said out of the corner of his mouth. "I can't risk it."

Nelson led them quickly along the hallway and brought them through the door into the room they had all been tortured in at least once before. He steered Harper and Kane in line with the others and Banks ordered them all onto their knees. Nelson walked away from them, but not before slipping a pocketknife into Kane's hand. He clutched it tightly in his fist and glanced at Nelson, who stared straight ahead with his gun gripped tightly in his hands.

Pike walked into the room, pulling along a hooded woman, and slammed the door shut behind them. Kane kept his eyes on him as he flicked open the pocketknife and began to saw at his zip tie, going slow to keep his movement to a minimum.

Pike came to stand right in front of him, his hand tight on the arm of the trembling woman. Kane couldn't tell who she was, but a whimper down the line told him that someone could. Pike said, "There's a Grounder army in the trees, ready to attack. I need you to call it off."

"You wanted war, Charles, it's here." Kane said, glaring at him.

"I said _call it off_ ," Pike spat.

"I don't have that authority," he replied, moving the blade barely a millimeter in each direction with Pike so close to him.

His hand stilled when Pike pulled off the hood and he looked into the eyes of the woman in front of him. He knew there was only one reason Pike would bring in one of their loved ones. Kane said desperately, "I really can't stop it, Charles. You have to believe me."

"I thought you were a diplomat, Kane," Pike said before kicking at Gabriella Sinclair's knees. She fell to the floor in front of Kane and looked up at him. As she got to her knees, she just shook her head at Kane, before looking at Sinclair who knelt next to him.

She whispered, "It will be okay, honey."

Sinclair's voice broke as he said, "No, it won't, Gabby."

"Last chance, Marcus," Pike said, pulling his gun out.

He stared at Gabriella, who was whispering to her husband, and felt a tremor go through him. He really couldn't stop this. He looked up at Pike and pleaded, "Roan won't stop, you have to believe me. Even if I begged him to turn around, he wouldn't. He needs the Commander on his side and the only way to do that is to deliver you. They want justice for the massacre you carried out, Charles, I can't end this. The only way this will stop is with your capture."

Pike just shook his head. "Now, I don't believe you, Marcus. You can bargain with them, there is always something these savages will want."

"All they want is you! Nothing else will stop them!" Kane yelled, his voice breaking. He was really shaking now and his eyes returned to Gabriella whose face was shining with tears as she stared at her husband, still whispering to him that everything would be okay. He gripped the knife tight in his hand, not caring when he felt the blade bite into his flesh.

"I hope this death haunts you too, Marcus," Pike said as he pressed the muzzle to Gabriella's head and pulled the trigger.

Kane felt the warm spray of blood hit his face seconds before Gabriella's body fell to the floor. Sinclair sank back on his haunches as he stared at his wife's lifeless body. Kane would rather look at the corpse than bear witness to Sinclair's anguish. Pike asked Kane again to speak with Roan, but he was busy staring hard at Gabriella, fighting the hot tears that threatened to force themselves from his eyes.

"All right, if that's how you want to play this, Marcus." Pike said quietly as Banks dragged away Gabriella's body. He called down the line to Miller and said, "We couldn't find your boy, David, or we'd go with him next. So let's see what happens when I shoot one of you. Not Sinclair of course, the man just lost his wife." Kane glanced behind Pike at the guards, noticing that only Banks didn't look sickened by what Pike was doing. "I only need Kane to negotiate with the Grounders."

* * *

The sun was setting behind Arkadia as they approached it. Octavia, Abby, and Benja broke from the army at the tree line and headed for the passageway. Roan promised to wait ten minutes before starting the attack, giving them plenty of time to get into position. They moved through the trees silently and reached the entrance to the passageway. Octavia pried it open and held it for the other two to slip inside. They moved along the passageway, their heads ducked as they went. They reached panel as they heard the horn blow and knew that the battle had begun.

Octavia popped open the panel and climbed out, waiting for Abby who was looking at Benja. She gripped the Grounder boy's hand tightly in her own and whispered, " _Yu ste daun hir, nami?_ | You stay here, okay?"

He nodded quickly and pulled her into a hug before allowing her to pull away and climb out of the passageway. Abby looked at him one last time before sliding the panel shut. She turned to Octavia who nodded and took off out of the storage room, unsheathing her sword as she went.

People ran passed them in a panic, barely glancing their way. Octavia and Abby hurried along the corridor and Abby almost kept going but Octavia grabbed her arm and pulled her into an empty classroom. Abby looked around and didn't understand why they were wasting time hiding.

Octavia walked to the cabinet in the corner and opened it while Abby waited, holding in her question. She pulled out two handguns and secured one against the small of her back. She handed the other to Abby who stared at it in her hand — she was a terrible shot, more likely to hit those they were going to save than anything.

"Courtesy of Rebecca," Octavia said quietly as she walked over to the vent low on the opposite wall. She kicked it open and slid the cover away before crouching low and crawling into it. Abby followed quickly, not bothering to cover the evidence of where they had gone — the others were too preoccupied to worry about an open vent cover in a deserted classroom.

It took ten minutes in the vents to reach their destination and involved descending two levels to a part of the station Abby didn't know anything about. She had never liked cramped spaces and didn't know how Marcus had crawled through that maintenance shaft on the Ark; this vent was larger than that and rather cold but Abby still found it difficult.

Octavia peered out of the vent before pushing open the cover. She climbed out and Abby was relieved to stand upright. She pulled the gun from the back of her jeans and clicked off the safety — she knew how to do that much at least. Octavia led her down the hallway to the cell and at first she thought it was empty, nothing but a pile of coats.

The coats moved and she noticed that the pile was in fact Jasper Jordan, pale and breathing rapidly. Abby pulled at the door and said, "I have to get in there, he's in shock."

"Unless you know that code, Abby, we're not helping him right now." Octavia said, pulling her further down the hallway. "We'll come back for him, I promise."

They walked for nearly a minute before they heard any noise and that noise was a gunshot. They stopped in their tracks and looked at each other before sprinting in that direction.

"Marcus," they heard Pike yell through the door as they approached. "That's two — how many more of your friends do you want to see die? Those Grounders are already attacking, but I'm sure you can still make peace with that king."

"I don't know how many time I have to tell you," Kane screamed, his voice so thick with emotion that Abby almost stopped where she was. "The only way they'll stop is if you give yourself up."

"That's not going to happen," Pike said, his smile audible. "Now do you want to pick who's next or should I?"

Octavia glanced at Abby, her hand on the door handle. Abby nodded, raising her gun. Octavia sheathed her sword and pulled out the gun, releasing the safety in one motion. She threw open the door as Kyle Wick was forced to his knees in front of Kane.

Abby barely had time to register the blood that covered Marcus' face or the blood trail that led to the bodies behind him. She pointed her gun at Pike who turned to look at the intruders. He seemed surprised and pulled his gun away from Wick's temple. "Really, Abby? A gun?"

She didn't answer him, just kept the gun aimed at his chest. Octavia took a tentative step forward and Pike turned his gun on her. He said, "Not so fast, Grounder Girl. Banks, Hill, restrain them."

Banks took a step forward, but he was the only one. He glanced back at the other guard and said, _"Hill."_

Hill shook his head and turned his gun on Pike. "There's no other way to end this, Pike, I'm sorry."

"You fucking coward," Banks said, raising his pistol to Hill. A gunshot echoed through the room and Banks fell limply to the floor. Octavia turned her gun back to Pike and glared at him. He stared at her, momentarily speechless.

He regained his composure though and started toward her, his gun raising to level with her head. They heard a quiet _snap_ as Kane's hands came free of their bonds. He launched himself at Pike, knocking him to the floor. The gun came loose and slid across the floor toward the remaining guards. Nelson kicked it toward Abby and Octavia. Abby crouched and retrieved it before turning her attention back to Kane in time to see him get elbowed hard in the face.

He managed to get Pike's arms pinned behind his back, but Pike was throwing his weight around and Kane was fighting to hold on. Nelson crossed the distance and smashed the butt of his rifle against Pike's head. He fell to the floor, unconscious.

Kane leaned back from Pike, breathing heavily as he wiped his hand against his mouth. Abby took a step toward him, handing Octavia the guns blindly as she did. He glanced over his shoulder at her, a smile pulling at his lips despite the pain he was in.

"Abby," Kane breathed as he rose to his feet with difficulty. She gave him a small smile as he crossed the distance between them and took her face in his hands. His lips crashed against hers a second later.

Her hands wrapped around his neck, one tangling in his hair, the other caressing his lightly stubbled cheek. His hands gripped her waist tightly, pulling her flush against him. She was vaguely aware of the others around them, of Nelson calling for Hill and Smith's weapons, of Octavia zip tying Pike's wrists behind his back, of the others waiting patiently to be released. When Marcus' tongue parted her lips and met hers, the rest of the world melted away. There wasn't a battle raging in the cold night air, there weren't three dead bodies in the room, there wasn't a boy clinging to life in a cell down the hall, there wasn't another boy hoping to be released in Polis. There was only them.

"Where's that knife, Kane?" Octavia asked, her voice close. Kane's lips and tongue moved just as incessantly against Abby's as he reached into his pocket for the knife and handed it to her. She could hear Octavia's smirk as she walked away to release the others. Abby's hand untangled from his hair and slid down his neck to rest there as she pulled away, his teeth grazed her lower lip before releasing her.

She reached up and wiped at the still wet blood on his face, whispering, "Are you hurt?"

"No more than normal," he replied, wincing as she touched his swollen eye. She let the smile come and leaned against his chest as his arms wrapped tightly around her torso.

"Thank God, I thought I was dead too," Wick muttered as Octavia sliced open his zip tie. He called over his shoulder, "Hey, Lovebirds, we should really get going. Lives to save, remember?"

Abby nodded into Kane's chest before pulling away from him. She walked toward the others being released one-by-one by Octavia. She was about to help Harper to her feet when her eyes passed over the bodies in the corner. She breathed, "David."

"Abby, don't." Kane called from behind her but his voice seemed so far away.

She walked toward the bodies and sank down next to them. She looked at David Miller first, his eyes glassy and unseeing as they stared passed her. All she could think about was Nate and how he was fighting Pike's force in the yard with Roan's army, unaware that his father was dead.

Then her eyes fell on Gabriella's face. The tears pricked at the back of her eyes as she looked from one face to the other. She felt his arms wrap around her from behind, pulling her to her feet. Kane turned her to him and she collapsed against his chest, letting the sobs shake through her.

Kane called over his shoulder, "Nelson?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you know the code to that cell?" Kane asked as he stroked Abby's back.

"Yes, sir."

"Take Wick and Bennett, get Jasper Jordan to Medical," he said as Abby gripped his shirt, trying to get closer to him.

"Yes, sir."

"Harper," he called and she was at his side in an instant, looking down at David Miller. Abby glanced at her and noticed the blood splattered on one side of her face. "Handcuff Smith and Hill. Take them to normal Lockup until I decide what to do with them. I don't see them giving you a problem."

She nodded and walked away. Abby pulled back from Kane when the room was silent. She looked over his shoulder, spotting Octavia by the door. Her eyes fell on Sinclair, he still knelt on the floor, his arms limp at his sides. She pulled away from Kane and walked slowly toward him, feeling Kane's eyes on her back.

She knelt next to him and whispered, "Sinclair?"

He blinked through the tears that clouded his vision and looked at her. He croaked, "Hi, Abby."

She wrapped her arms around him as she said, "I'm so sorry, Sinclair."

His hand came up to grip her arm tightly as he buried his face in her shoulder and curled his other arm around her. Over his shoulder, she watched Kane move around the room toward Pike. He nodded toward Octavia and, with her help, managed to haul Pike's unconscious form to his feet. They dragged him out of the room.

Abby held Sinclair as he sobbed into her shoulder, unable to believe that it was all over. But the cost had been great and she was only looking at two dead friends. She didn't want to go above and see the carnage in the yard. She glanced over at David and Gabriella, their eyes staring vacantly back at her. She had to look away.

Kane and Octavia returned minutes later without Pike. From the door, Kane whispered, "We have to go."

Abby nodded and was surprised when Sinclair was the one to pull away. He wiped his eyes and stood up. He walked toward Kane and asked, "Where are we going?"

Kane shook his head and said, "You don't have to—"

"Let me feel useful, Kane," Sinclair snapped. Abby paused mid-crouch before rising the rest of the way to her feet. She walked over to them and they exited the room, shutting the door firmly behind them. As they began to walk away, Abby glanced back at Marcus as he marked the door with a white X. He walked toward her and took her hand firmly in his, pulling her along to catch up to the other two as they hurried through the station.

The night air was cold when they exited Alpha. The fight was over and they were already moving the dead and injured. Roan walked toward them with Indra and Nyko. The king's arm was bleeding from a bullet wound but it didn't seem to affect him.

"What happened up here?" Kane asked as the Grounders came to a stop in front of them.

"A battle, what do you think?" Roan asked, brows knitting together.

"What stopped it, is what he's asking," Octavia elaborated.

Roan looked at her and said, "I know what he was asking, Sky Girl. Some kid got killed, apparently that made people think about what they were doing."

"What kid?" Abby asked.

"Do I look like I know your people?" He snapped, glowering at her. She raised her eyebrows at him.

"We captured one of your people, sent him to your Lockup." Indra interrupted. "Lacroix, I believe."

"Good," Kane said, nodding. "Thank you."

Indra and Roan walked off, toward the army of Grounders congregated by the gate. Nyko looked to Abby and said, "I must tend our wounded, but I will join you as soon as I'm finished."

"Thank you," she said, nodding to him.

Kane touched her arm lightly and said, "I need to gather everyone, you should get to Medical, Abby."

"What are you doing?" She asked.

He was already walking away, Sinclair and Octavia trailing him. He called over his shoulder, "Giving them a choice."

* * *

Medical was packed but it didn't stop Jackson was running to her and pulling her in a bone-crushing hug. He kissed her hair and whispered, "I was so worried."

"Me too," she said as she pulled away. He squeezed her arm before returning to Jasper Jordan, Harper was at his side. Abby noticed that Troy Gibbons and Kath Colonna were both tending to patients and a few other delinquents were doing what they could to help out.

"Abby!"

She turned and found Raven smiling at her from a cot, blood seeping from her leg. Wick stood by her side, gripping her hand. She walked across the room and pulled aside Raven's torn pant leg. She glanced up at her and asked, "Can you tell me what happened?"

The corners of her eyes pinched and it had nothing to do with the pain as Abby started to clean the wound on her leg. "It was just a normal fight until that boy died. He just fell to the ground and everything kind of stopped. Pike's people paused and it was like they finally realized what they were doing, it only took that kid dying for them to see it."

"What kid?" She asked as she placed a bandage on the wound. She began to wind gauze around the leg when Wick replied, "Scanlan's boy."

Her face fell. Jack Scanlan had lost his wife in the descent to Earth, now his son was gone too. She looked at the bed he had been in yesterday, now occupied by someone else. She wondered where he was now. She asked, "Do you know who else is dead?"

"Abbot, Gillmer, that Mike kid who beat Penn up a while back, a dozen others from Farm Station, I don't know their names." Raven said quickly.

"And from our side?" Abby asked as she motioned for Wick to sit down on the end of Raven's bed so she could clean to large cut that stretched the length of his face. Wick glanced at Raven as she hesitated, reaching for her hand again.

She choked out, "Monroe, Slater."

Abby nodded and began to clean the wound on Wick's face. "We lost David Miller and Gabriella Sinclair too."

Raven rounded on Wick. "You didn't tell me that!"

"I thought it was best, until it was all over…" He whispered, his eyes meeting Abby's. They both knew how close Raven and Sinclair were.

"How did it happen?" She asked. When neither of them responded, Raven practically yelled, "How did they die?"

Wick turned to her and Abby reached over the distance to finish with his wound. "Pike shot them point-blank in the head. I was next, Raven, if Abby and Octavia hadn't come in time."

Raven looked up at Abby with tears in her eyes and she nodded. She grasped her hand, a _thank you_ passing between them. Wick slid up the bed and wrapped Raven in his arms. Abby was about to leave them but Wick pulled away from Raven quickly and caught her arm. He grasped two jackets in his hands, one she recognized as Kane's. He said, "We used them to warm Jasper. The other one's David's."

She nodded quickly. "Thank you, Wick." His brows lowered as he gave her a sad smile before returning to Raven's side. Abby set them in her office before moving on to a new patient.

Gina Martin was a few beds away from them, bleeding from her hairline. She found Gina quite a relief, letting her talk about getting Bellamy back in the morning as she worked. She almost didn't want to leave her, but there were other patients.

"Abby?" His voice was quiet behind her and she finished with Jones Meikle's gunshot wound nearly an hour later. She squeezed his arm and gave him a reassuring smile before turning to Kane.

The corner of his mouth pulled down into a frown as he looked at her. He said, "Take a break, you look exhausted." She shook her head, her eyes passing over all of the people who still needed to be tended to. His hand came to tip her chin up, forcing her to look at him. "You _need_ a break, Abby. We need to talk."

She nodded and let him steer her into her office. He left the door open so Jackson could call out if he need her and for that she was grateful. He deposited her in her chair and leaned against the desk. He studied her for a few moments before he reached out and wiped a tear from her eye. "How are you?"

She breathed out a laugh. "It doesn't matter right now."

His brows furrowed as he looked at her but he didn't press it. He sighed and said, "We're leaving for Polis tonight, Roan's insisting."

She nodded slowly. "I can't, Marcus, there are too many patients."

"I know," he said, reaching out and taking her hand. "Meet me when you are done. I'm sure someone here will be willing to drive you."

She nodded again before she whispered, "You should see Rebecca before you leave." He looked at her, a question in his eyes. "Paul died."

"Damn it," he muttered, his head falling toward his chest. She stood and wrapped her arms around his neck. His gripped her hips as he pushed himself from the desk, pulling her to him. He pressed a light kiss to her lips before leaning his forehead against hers. "Was this the right thing—"

"Yes," she interrupted, her fingers playing along his neck. "Pike and Abbot had to be stopped. We have to get Bellamy back."

"But look what happened," he whispered.

"Don't start that, Marcus Kane," she said gently. "We'll talk about it in Polis, okay? I have to get back to my patients."

He nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips as he pulled away. "It's probably a bad idea to leave Benja with Octavia for too long anyway."

Abby smiled, but didn't comment. She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Be safe."

"You too," he said with a smile.

"Hey, have either of you seen my dad? No one seems to know where he is," Nate Miller asked, peeking his head into the room.

Abby's eyes met Kane's. His jaw tighten as he released her hand after squeezing it tightly in his own. He turned to Nate and said, "Walk with me, son."

She took a deep breath before returning to her patients, knowing it was going to be a long night for all of them.

* * *

 **Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated! :)**

 **This chapter was even harder for me than the last one, so please let me know how I'm doing. We're winding down to the end then it's time for the sequel! I love hearing what you all have to say! -Lauren**


	32. Jus Drein Jus Daun

_"Take pride in the number you saved."_ — Indra, "Wanheda: Part 2"

* * *

The fatigue intensified as she climbed the 37 floors. Standing on her feet, mending the injured for hours had kept her alert, but the long, bumpy ride through the dead of night had caused her eyelids to droop. She had forced herself to remain attentive for the boy at the wheel. He had stared hard through the windshield the entire way, not saying a word as he seethed with rage, the tears long gone.

Nate Miller had been the one to come to her. She thought about going to one of the Guard, knowing that they would oblige and take her to Polis. But Nate had stormed into Medical just as she was finishing up, begging her to let him drive her. She didn't know if it was the smartest decision — the boy had just lost his father and, from the rumors that trickled in with the new patients, had an explosive relationship-ending fight with his boyfriend — but he was all she had and he was determined to get out of Arkadia.

They crested the last stair on level 37 in silence and Abby watched him march down the hallway toward the room the sentry had directed him to. She wondered if he would sleep or if he would finally let himself feel his grief. She called, her voice sounding unnatural after keeping quiet for so long, "Thank you, Nate."

She couldn't tell if it was the dim light playing tricks on her, but she thought she saw him nod before he shoved open the door to his room and went through it. She stared down the empty hallway for nearly a minute before walking to the room she had shared with Kane at the Summit.

The sky beyond the glassless window was still pitch black. She hoped for at least an hour or two of sleep before they had to start the day. She set her bag down on the floor next to the bed and stepped out of her shoes, shoved her pants down her hips and legs, and slipped off her jacket. She placed everything neatly next to her bag. She knelt in front of it and pulled apart the zipper, reaching inside until she found the bottle of medication. She withdrew it and walked around the bed to the side Marcus was on.

He was fast asleep and she thought he looked at peace finally. She set the bottle of medication on the nightstand next to the unlit candle and walked back around the bed, climbing into it finally. The entire ride to Polis, she had thought about nothing but sinking into the furs and falling asleep. Now that she was here, however, she needed to feel his touch. After the day they had, she couldn't feel alone.

It was in the past few weeks where she found herself needing the comfort of his touch more and more, ever since Farm Station had come to Arkadia. He was her constant, her one familiar thing in this ever-changing world — she couldn't even count on her daughter to be that, not when she saw her maybe once a month. Abby would come home from Medical after a long day, physically and mentally drained, and even just reaching out for his sleeping form could bring her back to reality.

She slid across the monstrous bed toward him and propped herself up on her elbow to look at him properly. There was a deep purple bruise on his jaw that lightened as it traveled up his cheek to his swollen eye. She could see more bruises trailing down his neck and disappearing under his shirt. She knew if she leaned against him, she could hit his broken ribs — that was why he needed to take the medication. She wanted to hold him, to touch him, to kiss him, but she couldn't stand hurting him.

She placed her hand on his unbruised cheek and ran her thumb over it, startled when his eyes flashed open as he inhaled sharply, the sound like a gunshot in the silent room. She withdrew her hand and let it fall in the space between them. She lowered her eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

She glanced up at him under her lashes and saw him nod as he turned his head to look at her, giving her a reassuring smile. "I guess I'm a little jumpy these days."

"I think we all are," she whispered as she reached out again to stroke his cheek. She nodded past him toward the nightstand, "I brought you medication for the pain."

He sighed and shook his head. "I don't want it, Abby."

She leaned over him, her weight resting gently on his chest, as she lit the candle. She placed her hands on either side of his head and pushed herself to lay next to him again, but his hands caught her by the sides, pulling her back to hover over him. She looked down at him, at the grief in his eyes, and whispered, "Are you okay?"

He stared up at her for several moments before he shook his head. Her eyes closed briefly as her breath escaped her. She leaned down and captured his lips for a light kiss. His hand hooked behind her ear, pulling her deeper into it, needing her comfort.

She made sure that he was the one to pull away. She couldn't do it, she couldn't make him feel like she was pushing him away. She would never do that to him. She leaned up and looked down at him, brushing the hair out of his face. She whispered, "We should talk about what happened, but first, I need you to take some of this medication."

He looked up at her, his eyes screwed up in pain. Slowly, he nodded. She reached over and grabbed the bottle, popping it open. He held out a hand for her and she dispensed two pills into it. He had popped them into his mouth by the time she set the bottle back. He leaned his head down and closed his eyes, she smiled as she settled next to him again, her head on his shoulder. She ran her hand lightly over his chest, waiting for him.

He opened his eyes and turned his head, his lips brushing her forehead. "How many of them left?"

She frowned and slid her hand up his chest, along his neck, to bury in his hair. She ran her nails lightly over his scalp. "Nearly all of Farm Station, a few others."

His Adam's apple bobbed as he nodded slowly. "I expected that much."

They fell into silence and Abby continued to scratch his scalp. His arm curled around her, pulling her as close as he could without having her actually on top of him. She felt the twitch of the vein in his temple as her fingers ran along his skin. She leaned up to look down at him. His eyes were still closed, but she could see the tears collecting in the corners. She ran her thumb under his eyelid and caught the first tear as it fell. His eyes opened slowly, releasing the floodgates.

Abby's breath caught in her throat and she opened her arms to him. He rolled onto his side and his arms wrapped tightly around her, his face burying in her neck. She clutched at his back and buried one hand in his hair, holding him tightly to her as she whispered, "What did they do to you, Marcus?"

Kane was quiet for a while, his lips brushing against her neck, seeking the familiarity of her flesh. Finally, he spoke, "The first time wasn't so bad, they asked about the Grounders, broke a rib, gave me the black eye. The second time was worse. The only time Pike touched me was to sock me in the jaw, but after that, he…"

His voice cracked and he had to stop. Abby clutched his head to her as his arms tightened around her. His tears slid down her neck and soaked her shirt but she didn't care. She just wanted it to end, wanted him to feel better. She knew any punishment Charles Pike received wouldn't be enough, not when he had done so much to their people, not when he had taken so much from the man she loved. He had to pay with more than just his life — she needed his soul to burn too.

"It's my fault, Abby. All of it," he whispered. She stroked his back tenderly as he continued, "I'm the reason Harper has a broken wrist, why Jasper's clinging to life. I got Gabby killed, David too. And Paul and Monroe and little Micah. I couldn't save any of them, Abby."

"Please don't do this to yourself," she murmured as her lips brushed his temple. "You didn't pull the trigger. No one blames you for what happened, that means you are not allowed to blame yourself either. I won't let you, Marcus. You have done nothing wrong."

"I've done everything wrong, Abby. I'm not a good chancellor, we should have never had the election. I've only managed to bring death to our people," he mumbled against her skin.

She didn't understand why he couldn't see that he was the light in the darkness for their people. He was the one they turned to when things got tough. He may have deluded himself into thinking it was Abby, but she was their doctor, nothing else, not anymore. He hadn't been in Medical all night, listening to people talk about Pike's capture and how it couldn't have come soon enough. He hadn't heard how people were thankful for the Grounder involvement, thankful that Kane had done what he did.

She whispered, "You have to stop blaming yourself for other people's mistakes. I can't watch you tear yourself down anymore. You abandoned the bad version of yourself months ago, on the day of the Culling. That's when you changed. That's the last day you assisted in bringing death to our people. Don't you dare take any blame where it's not warranted. I won't let you, not anymore."

She waited for him to say something, whether it be in agreement or in argument. She was prepared for either, she had to be with him. She was ready to fight him on this issue until her last breath because she _needed_ him to see that he had changed, that he wasn't the same man who ordered the deaths of 320 people, that he was _good_.

Finally, he nodded into her neck before pulling away. He hovered above her to look at her properly. The pain was still in his eyes, something so deep she knew it wouldn't go away for a while. He whispered, "I thought he was going to kill me. I thought I was never going to see you again."

"I had those fears myself," she said as she felt the tears sting her eyes.

"Can you promise me something?" He asked, looking at her intently as his hand cupped her cheek.

"What is it?"

"Promise to be by my side during this war to come," he said, his voice catching in his throat as he spoke. He cleared it and continued, "I can't focus when I'm worrying about you."

The corner of her mouth twitched into a smile as she nodded slowly. A sad smile settled on his face as he looked at her, his eyes searching her face as if he thought she might be lying. He must have decided she was telling the truth because his lips crashed against hers a second later with a bruising force.

A gasp was caught in Abby's throat as his tongue forced its way into her mouth, needing the feel of hers. She gripped his hair tight and pulled him closer, reveling in the feel of him against her again. She could taste the grief on his tongue and wanted desperately to alleviate the pain he was feeling. His lips left hers and started their descent down.

They moved hungrily over her neck and she tilted her head up, allowing him more access. She knew she shouldn't give into him, not when he was like this. But he needed it, he needed the comfort she could offer him, he needed to feel happy if even for a moment.

His nails bit into her hips and he ground himself against her. She knew this was causing him just as much pain as it was assuaging, albeit a different kind, and she was worried about him breaking open a stitch or injuring himself further. But he moved as if he couldn't feel the physical pain, as if he hadn't been beaten multiple times in the past week, as if he hadn't had surgery recently.

As his doctor, Abby knew she should stop him before he hurt himself further, but as his girlfriend, there was no way she was ending this now. Not when he nearly tore off her underwear in his haste and plunged two fingers deep inside of her. His lips silenced the moan that ripped through her throat as he began to pump his fingers within her. Her arms and legs wrapped tightly around him and he let out a grunt of pain. She pulled away to look at his face but he just shook his head and buried it in the crook of her neck.

"It's okay, Abby," Kane murmured against her skin before his lips, tongue, and teeth attacked her neck. He needed to forget the pain of their losses, to forget the weight that came with every decision he made, to get lost in the moment for once.

Abby reached down and pulled at his shirt, yanking it over his head and throwing it aside. His hand left her side to shove his underwear down his hips and push her shirt up. She untangled her hands from him to pull it over her head as he unclasped her bra.

He hovered above her as he looked down at her hungrily. His head dipped down and captured a nipple in his mouth as his thumb moved over the other one. His fingers still moved expertly inside of her and Abby was forced to bite her lip to silence her moans.

"Let me do something for you," she managed to gasp out as she clutched at his hair.

He shook his head against her chest. "No, Abby, this is about you. I want _you_ to feel good."

"What are you—oh, shit," she moaned, letting her head fall back as his fingers hit that spot he knew drove her crazy. She heard his quiet chuckle and they both knew he had won the argument before it even began.

"Just shut up, Abby," he breathed as he kissed along her neck. His lips met hers as she fell apart, her arms clutching desperately at him. She pulled away from him after a minute and met his eyes. The grief was still there, dulled only by the lust.

She slid her hand from his hair to cup his cheek. "Marcus, we should slow down." He just shook his head and plunged into her; Abby knew all hope of trying to reason with him was lost for the night.

She settled against him after, resting her head against his chest after peppering it with kisses. He curled his arm around her, holding her tight to him. He pressed a kiss to her hair before whispering, _"Ai nou na teik yu bants nowe, ai niron._ | I'm never going to let you go, my love. _"_

She smiled against his chest and whispered against his skin, _"Ai hod yu in seintaim, ai gona._ | I love you too, my warrior."

She let his quiet laugh lull her to sleep.

* * *

Kane woke a few hours later when the sun hit him full in the face. He found Abby clinging to him tightly, deep in sleep. He smiled and brushed a few strands of hair out of her face. He knew he should be getting up, but he could lay in bed and watch her sleep all day. She was so peaceful as she slept and he knew as soon as she woke, she would be back to worrying — worry about him, about Clarke, about Arkadia, and their people. This woman never stopped worrying except when she slept; if she was lucky enough to have a nightmare-less night, she could look like this — so blissful, like everything was finally right with the world. He wondered if there would ever be a time when she would always sleep like this.

He lay there for another five minutes, watching her eyelids flutter, wondering what she was dreaming about. It came time for him to get up though and as he tried to pull away, he realized that his arm was trapped under her, still curled around her body. He sighed, as he slowly tried pulling it out, but her body was heavy with sleep, unmovable against the furs.

"Abby," he said gently, running his trapped arm along her naked back.

" _Shh,_ I'm sleeping, Marcus," she muttered, burrowing deeper against his chest.

He let out a breathy laugh. "I know, but I need to get up."

When she didn't move, he tickled his fingers along her skin until she squirmed enough for him to free his arm out from under her. She grasped it and pulled him back to her as she murmured, "Five more minutes."

"You can go back to sleep," he said, pressing a kiss to her temple. She nodded but still clung to him. "Abby, I have a meeting to get to." She shook her head and tightened her grip on him, the pain making him dizzy as she squeezed his ribs.

"Just stay for a little bit," she whispered, kissing his chest. He smiled but said, "I can't, Abby."

She groaned and pulled away from him. She grumbled, "Fine."

He watched as she started to scoot toward the edge of the bed, ready to crawl out of it, but he caught her by the waist and settled her back into the furs. He pressed a kiss to her lips. "I told you, you are going back to sleep. I'll come for you in a few hours, okay?"

She nodded and rolled over, her face pressing into the pillow. He smiled at her stubbornness before he pulled himself out of bed. He dressed slowly, feeling all of the pain from their nightly activities. He took care not to cry out as he pulled his shirt on, feeling his skin stretch and his ribs protest the movement. He grabbed two more pain pills from the bottle before he made his way to the door.

"I knew if I brought them you would use them," Abby mumbled into the pillow.

He smiled to himself before he opened the door and walked from the room. It was a slow trip from their bedroom to Lexa's throne room, he forced himself up the stairs, taking it slowly.

"Need some help?" Kane turned, braced on the step above, and found Roan walking up the stairs toward him. Kane nodded and let Roan sling his arm around his shoulders and assist him the rest of the way. He could feel the king studying him as they made their way to the 40th floor. He wasn't surprised when he said, "You look tired."

Kane laughed quietly. "I'm fine."

Roan didn't comment as they continued their climb. When they reached the 40th floor, he said, "I need you to stay calm with Lexa."

"Why wouldn't I stay calm?" Kane asked, glancing at him as they made their way down the hallway to the double doors. Roan paused outside, looking at Kane, waiting for confirmation. He rolled his eyes as he said, "I'll stay calm."

"Good," Roan said, gripping the top of his shirt and pulling their faces close. "We need her support too or your people died for nothing."

"My people died to dethrone a dictator, their deaths will never mean nothing." Kane growled as he shoved Roan away. He opened the door and walked in before the king.

Lexa sat at her throne, Titus behind on her left, Indra on her right. He didn't have time to take in any more of the room as a body slammed against his and arms wrapped around his neck. Blonde hair was in his face and he knew it was Clarke. Even without the hair, the fact that Bellamy Blake was watching closely from the steps near Lexa's throne, he could have guessed who it was. His arms wrapped around her and held her tight to him.

Clarke asked, "Where's my mom, Kane?"

"Still sleeping," he said as Clarke stepped back. Bellamy came to stand next to her and was looking him over, Kane did the same, thankful that he appeared unharmed.

A small smirk settled on Bellamy's face as he commented, "You can really take a beating for an old man."

Kane chuckled breathily and asked, "How old do you kids think I am?"

"Do you want the honest answer?" Kane shook his head. "It is good to see you, sir."

"You too," he replied as he wrapped his arms around Bellamy. The boy hugged him back in full force and Kane knew that he would have new bruises from this exchange. But it was a small price to pay.

"Is my sister here? And Gina?" Bellamy asked as he released Kane. He nodded and watched the smile pull at his lips.

"If you have finished, may we begin?" Lexa called from the throne. Kane looked at her sharply but nodded and walked toward her, flanked by the others. Roan stood next to him and cast a wary glance his way, but Kane ignored it, Lexa did too. Her eyes were on Kane as she said, "Thank you for delivering Pike to us."

"He didn't come without a fight, Commander," Kane said coolly.

 _"Winnes set raun bakon kom givnes_ | Victory stands on the back of sacrifice," Lexa said with a nod.

The blood boiled within Kane's veins at her indifference. She didn't care that David was dead or any of the others. He yelled, _"Jok yu givnes. En's joken branwoda, Heda._ | Fuck your sacrifice. It's fucking worthless, Commander."

Roan's head turned to look at him, a glare on his face. Clarke and Bellamy's eyes widened as they shared a look. But Lexa just stared at him before nodding slowly. She rose from her throne and walked toward him, ignoring Titus' worried look.

Indra called in a strong voice, "The Commander understands your grief, we all feel it, Marcus." Lexa held up her hand to silence her as she stepped in front of Kane.

She said, "Today, I offer you and Skaikru justice for all Pike has done. I offer you and Roan a place at my side during the execution."

 _"Heda, yu nou na ste—_ | Commander, you cannot be— _"_ Titus began but Lexa shot him a look, silencing his tongue.

" _Ai na en ai ste_ | I can and I am," she barked before turning back to the two leaders. Kane nodded slowly in answer, Roan was more sure about his agreement. "Good."

"And what exactly is to be his punishment?" Bellamy asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Not a pleasant one," Lexa admitted. "He killed 300 Woods Clan warriors and led to the death of 12 Ice Nation warriors. How many Sky People have you lost?"

Kane didn't need time to think, he already knew the number. Their names played in his head on repeat, their faces swam behind his eyelids whenever he shut them. "He is responsible for eight deaths, maybe more since we left."

"Then he is to feel the pain of 320," Lexa said and Kane nodded. "We start with fire, for the innocent who died. We take his tongue, his hands, his eyes. We end it with the knives."

He nodded again, he had expected as much. It was the punishment that had awaited Finn Collins if Clarke hadn't mercy-killed him first. He glanced over at her and saw the sorrow on her face — it was hard to believe that his death had only been 3 and a half months ago. Time seemed to move differently on Earth, like it flashed by in an instant and dragged on forever all at once.

Lexa looked at Clarke too but only for a moment, something of regret passing on her face. She turned back to Kane and said, "I understand you and Roan have much to discuss with me, but that will wait until tomorrow. For now, take Bellamy, he is free. Execution is at sundown."

 _"Mochof, Heda_ | Thank you, Commander," Kane said sincerely.

Roan parted from them outside of the throne room and Indra followed them out, calling after Kane. He watched Clarke and Bellamy go, heading for the 37th floor to meet up with the others. He turned to Indra and saw a sad look on her face.

"Come, I want to show you something," she said, leading him to the stairs. He bit back a groan as they started their long descent.

The fresh air hit his face many minutes later and Indra led him through the city. There were more people than he had ever seen crowded within the limits. The air was alive with the promise of blood.

"They are all here to watch the execution," she said quietly, leading him through the throngs of people. She stopped some ways away and turned to look back at the city, the tower smaller in the distance. "I told you the Commander understood your grief, but it is not just her. Every person here is hurting for someone or for their people. Your grief is not yours to suffer alone."

His eyes flitted from person to person, watching them as they went about their lives as if death didn't bother them. He wondered if he would ever get used to it — he hoped not. Pain like this reminded them who they were, why they cared. If they never let themselves feel it — if death became nothing to them — they would forget what they stood for.

She seemed to be able to read his mind as usual and commented, "We do not mourn the dead until the war is over, Marcus, you must remember that."

"The war is over," he said, glancing at her uncertainly.

"This one is. Be sure to mourn quickly because a new war is on the horizon," she said as she walked away toward the trees, leaving him with his thoughts. He stared into the crowd for longer than he cared to admit before he started the walk back. He was nearly to the tower when he heard his name.

He turned and found Bellamy waving at him from a stall, Clarke and the others crowded around him. Abby stood behind them, her arms crossed over her chest. His eyes met hers as he stood next to her, watching Nate argue with the stall owner in Trigedasleng.

"I thought you would still be sleeping," he commented quietly as he crossed his arms over his chest and watched the kids.

She hid a smile as she glanced toward Clarke. "My daughter had other ideas. It was mildly traumatizing for her to walk in on me like that."

"You should have put some clothes on." He shrugged and was forced to dodge a swat of her hand. He smiled before saying quietly, "Lexa offered me a spot in the execution."

She turned to him and placed her hand on his forearm. "Is that what you want?"

He shrugged. "I feel like it's expected of me."

"You don't have to, Marcus," she whispered, her grip on him tightening.

He smiled sadly as he cast his gaze toward the ground. "But I do, Abby. For everyone we have lost."

* * *

There were too many people in Polis to watch the execution of Charles Pike for them to hold it within the city itself. They erected the pole in the middle of a large clearing half a mile outside of the city limits. The crowd gathered and Skaikru stood front and center, just five meters from the pole.

"I really get to stab him?" Nate Miller asked, staring at the spot it was all to happen shortly. Abby glanced at him, her arms crossed over her chest. She read the hatred easily on his face, felt it herself, but she hadn't expected such a cold response from him.

"Everyone who grieves gets the chance, Nate," Kane said with a nod. "Skaikru goes first, Lexa wants to make sure he feels our pain before it becomes too much."

"Good," Nate said harshly. "He deserves worse."

"This is going to be horrible enough, Miller," Gina said quietly. Abby couldn't help but agree. She believed wholeheartedly that Charles Pike deserved a fate worse than death, but bearing witness to it would not be pleasant. Her stomach had twisted in knots at the mere description of what they were about to see.

Her eyes scanned the crowd and she saw children much younger than Benja in attendance. She understood now how the Grounders could be so harsh at times when they were raised to believe that things like this were normal, that _jus drein jus daun_ was the way of life. They were trained for the hard life on the Ground and she hoped her people could adapt to their ways or she feared they would be wiped out within her lifetime.

When Pike was brought out, it was impossible to think above the noise. They watched in silence as he was chained to the pole, his hands tight at his sides. His face was unreadable and Abby wondered if they had explained to him what was about to happen — she thought not, the mystery of what was coming next was another form of torture.

Silence fell over the crowd as Lexa strode into the clearing, her eyes masked in dark war paint. She walked within feet of Pike before turning to scan the crowd. Her eyes held Kane's briefly before they continued on. Abby reached out for his hand and he squeezed hers tightly, glancing down at her. Resignation was written deep in his eyes, the knowledge that he had to do his part in this ritual for the sake of their people resting on the surface.

Lexa's voice was sonorous, echoing throughout the clearing. She called, _"Oso hit choda op nat, kom tona gou fou nau, hashta ai op hef na wan op. Charls Paik kom Skaikru, dison laik raitnes kom daunde yu don jak fou emo taim bilaik odon op. Jus drein jus daun!_ | We come together tonight, as we have countless times before, to watch a man die. Charles Pike of the Sky People, this is justice for those you took before their time. Blood must have blood! _"_

The crowd repeated the phrase, thrusting their fists into the air, filling the clearing with a charge that could only be sated by flame and flesh and blood.

Lexa let them chant for nearly a minute before she held up her hand to silence them. She continued, _"Charls Paik, yu don's lid hir na gada kom oyu kripon-de gon Trigeda, Azgeda, en Skaikru._ | Charles Pike, you have been brought here to answer for your crimes against Trigeda, Azgeda, and Skaikru." Lexa said, turning to the man on the pole.

"I'm sorry, I don't speak Grounder," Pike said, relatively calm for what was about to happen to him. Lexa's eyes darkened and they flickered to Kane. His eyes met Abby's again and she saw the trepidation within them, wishing desperately that he didn't have to participate. But, he pulled away from her and the rest of crowd to join the Commander.

"Charles Pike, you have been brought here to answer for your crimes against the Woods Clan, Ice Nation, and the Sky People." He translated, staring hard at his former friend. "Do you have any last words?"

Pike shook his head. "You would not listen to them anyway, Marcus."

Kane shared a look with Lexa before Roan joined them, carrying the torch. He lit two torches from his and handed them to Lexa and Kane. Lexa turned to the crowd once more and called out, _"Raun faya en jus, oso wada klin laudnes-de kom fotaim._ | In fire and blood, we cleanse the pain of the past."

Clarke stepped to Abby's side as the trio walked toward the kindling that Pike stood on. She gripped her mother's hand and whispered, "Are you sure he will be okay after this?"

Abby shook her head as she watched Kane meet Pike's eyes and lower his torch. He tossed it into the dirt after and watched the sweat bead on Pike's forehead as the flames licked at his feet. Before stepping back to stand with Lexa and Roan, Kane said, his voice drifting back to them on the wind, "You did this to yourself, Charles."

Clarke's grip on her hand tightened as the flames rose up Pike's ankles. The smell was terrible and Abby forced herself to watch, to witness the fire burn away his flesh, to listen to his screams as they filled the air. Then, all of a sudden, the fire was gone and Pike was writhing against his chains, his flesh flaking off whenever it came into contact with something other than the air. Lexa stepped forward again, a knife at her side. Titus stepped out of the crowd to assist with this portion of the ritual.

Abby wrapped her arm around her daughter as she heard the almost-silent sob. She knew she wasn't grieving for Pike, far from it. She was witnessing the death Finn Collins could have had. Abby stroked her shoulder, hoping she understood that what she had done was the right thing, that Finn hadn't deserved this.

Though she knew what was about to happen, it didn't prepare her for the sight. They took his tongue first, pulling it out with pincers. Next came his hands, which they let fall to the dirt after they were hacked off. Lastly, they took his eyes, after he had watched them do the other acts. The screams would ring in Abby's ears for days to come, she knew it.

Lexa pulled away from Pike, even from a distance they could tell that he was barely clinging to life. _"Skaikru, koma kom fos kot laik yon._ | Skaikru, the honor of the first cut is yours."

Abby watched as Kane took the knife she offered him. He glanced back at her, the pain had returned to his eyes. Marcus needed to know that it was the right thing, that Pike's death would unify their people with the Coalition for good. So she nodded to him and he strode forward with a renewed sense of purpose. He stood in front of Pike and leaned forward, whispering, "You still with us, Charles?"

An unintelligible sound came from his throat. Kane nodded to himself and shoved the knife into Pike's ribcage, the man let out a cry of pain. "For all of mine you broke. It didn't have to be this way." He pulled the knife out and walked back to his people to hand it to Nate Miller.

It was a long procession of Grounders after Nate sliced the knife slowly along Pike's temple at the exact spot he had shot David Miller. Every person had their turn to show him their grief, to let him know exactly what their loss had done. The sun had nearly disappeared completely when the last person was allowed their turn. Pike was long dead by the time Lexa unsheathed her sword and plunged in through his still heart.

* * *

 **Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated! Please let me know how I'm doing :)**

 **We're winding down to the end then it's time for the sequel ("Omo Givnes" | "Their Sacrifices")! I love hearing what you all have to say! -Lauren**

 **P.S. Trigedasleng galore this chapter! Let me know if you see a problem with my translations! Thanks :)**


	33. The Price of Peace

_"Our people believe that this is real peace." —_ Marcus Kane, "Wanheda: Part 1"

* * *

The scent of burned flesh clung to their clothes as they sat around the bonfire. An hour had past since Pike's execution and Skaikru had segregated themselves from the Grounders at their own fire. Octavia and Lincoln wasted no time in filling Bellamy in on everything that had happened while he was being held prisoner in Polis. He listened intently, holding Gina's hand loosely, surrounded by his friends.

Abby sat across the fire from them but she couldn't listen to it all again. It was too much, living it had been enough. Marcus sat next to her, staring into the fire, his elbows on his knees. He hadn't said more than a dozen words since he had plunged the knife into Pike's rib cage and none of them had been directed to her. Benja sat at Marcus' other side, talking quietly about how Lincoln and Octavia hadn't let him watch the execution, but he had heard the screams and saw the body after — he didn't know a body could look like that. Marcus nodded every few minutes, but she wondered if he was really listening.

A knee knocked against hers and she glanced to her left, finding Clarke leaning toward her. She spoke in barely a whisper, "You look worried. Is it the Coalition, Arkadia, or Kane?"

Abby fought a smile — her daughter was too smart and observant for her own good. She said, her mouth barely moving, "There's nothing to cause me worry with the first two."

Clarke nodded, glancing past her at Kane. "What's going on?"

"He doesn't like what he has to do to keep us safe," she whispered. She didn't like it either, it made him distant, caused him to withdraw into himself. He always felt like people looked down on him, but they didn't. She didn't know if she could ever make him see that people admired him.

Abby knew he was listening when he took her hand gently in his. She glanced down at their joined hands before looking back to her daughter. Clarke's eyes flickered to Kane again. She said, "None of us like it, but it is necessary."

Abby nodded, squeezing Kane's hand. She needed him to understand that anything he did for the sake of their people was forgiven. If it was in the name of protection, he shouldn't feel guilty. But he always did. She hated it, she wished he would see that there was nothing wrong with what he had done, there never was. There was no need for all of the self-loathing, for the guilt he felt.

She ran her thumb over the back of his hand, but kept her eyes on her daughter. Clarke looked worried as she glanced across the fire at Bellamy. Abby whispered, "How's Bellamy?"

Clarke's eyes flickered to her before she looked at Bellamy again. "He's happy to be free."

"What happened here the past week?" She had the feeling her daughter was hiding something, she was twisting Jake's watch around her wrist.

Clarke sighed and looked at her. She whispered, "He told me how he felt about me. He thought he was going to die, he didn't hold back."

"Oh." It was all Abby could say. She knew how Bellamy felt, it wasn't really a secret; there was only one reason why he would have reacted the way he did when she chose to leave after Mount Weather. But seeing Clarke's face as she looked at boy who loved her despite the fact that he was in a relationship, despite the fact that he claimed to hate her for leaving, Abby wondered if the feeling wasn't just one-sided.

Clarke nodded. "Yeah, _oh._ "

Abby pulled away from Kane and turned fully toward her daughter. She took Clarke's hand and whispered, "How do you feel about that?"

Clarke glanced across the fire, her eyes meeting Bellamy's. She looked quickly at the ground and said, "I don't know. It's…complicated. My place is here."

"You can still come home and visit," Abby said gently, squeezing her hand. Clarke nodded but didn't say anything more about Bellamy or coming home to Arkadia. She didn't press the subject, Clarke would decide what to do in her own time, she always did. Abby understood now that Clarke couldn't be persuaded to do anything she didn't want to do, not before she was ready.

Clarke squeezed her hand once more and gave her a reassuring smile before she rose from her seat and returned to her friends across the fire. Abby watched her go, her eyes flickering to Bellamy whose face seemed to light up at her return. She looked to Gina who seemed oblivious to it all, just happy to have her boyfriend back — Abby pitied her.

Kane took her hand again, applying pressure this time and she looked at him. He was still staring into the fire and Benja had grown quiet, leaning against Kane's side, tucked under his arm. Kane muttered, "He's tired."

Abby nodded and rose to her feet. She walked to Benja and touched his shoulder, his eyes opened and she asked, " _Taim kom rip op?_ | Time for sleep?"

Benja nodded meekly and pulled away from Kane to stand. Abby almost started away with him but turned back to Kane and asked gently, "Are you coming up?"

He didn't look up at her as he said, "In a bit."

She didn't push him, knew he needed his time. All she could do was squeeze his arm and walk away, leaving him alone with his thoughts. She began the long trek to their room, Benja at her side.

"Marcus look sad," he said quietly, glancing over his shoulder at the fire disappearing in the distance.

" _Em vout in souda em get raun kom chit em don._ | He thinks he must atone for what he did." Abby replied as they entered the tower.

" _Chit don nou ait kom em?_ | What was wrong with it?" He asked, staring up at her as they mounted the steps.

" _Nou diyo_ | Nothing," she said, more to herself than him. Watching Marcus participate in the gruesome ceremony hadn't been pleasant. She knew he could be cruel and compassionless, had been on the receiving end of it herself before, but this had been something else entirely. This was him lighting his old friend on fire and sticking a knife in his ribs. This was brutality that he was forced to commit for the sake of an alliance. This was something he didn't want to do, not now, not when he had worked so hard to put his cruelty and coldness behind him.

" _Em na ste os?_ | Will he be okay?" Benja asked, taking her hand after a while.

" _Em ste yuj. Em na ste kigon yuj gon oso kru._ | He is strong. He will continue to be strong for our people."

"' _Oso?'_ | 'Our?'" Benja asked, glancing at her as they reached level 37.

She hid her smile as she crouched in front of him in the middle of the hallway. " _Sha, 'oso.' Yu laik Skaikru nau, taim yu gaf in._ | Yes, 'our.' You are Skaikru now, if you want."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her neck. She smiled and sank into his embrace, holding him tight. When he finally released her, she said, " _Reshop, Benja._ | Goodnight, Benja."

"Goodnight." He walked down the hallway a little before pushing open a door and disappearing. Abby rose to her feet and walked in the opposite direction.

The bath was waiting for her in their room, Abby had asked for one while walking back from the clearing. It was still piping hot, someone must have been watching them at the fire, waiting for her to start to leave. Abby undressed and stepped into the water.

She leaned back into the tub, closing her eyes for a moment. They flashed open when the image of a man on fire burned behind them. She felt her heart rate accelerate and forced herself to calm down. She tried to remember Charles Pike as he had been on the Ark, the timid educator who followed the law, but the Ground had washed him away and she couldn't picture him very well now. All she saw was the brute he had become and the fire that had burned him.

She focused instead on washing the smell of him away and thinking of Clarke. She didn't envy her decision. She only hoped that Bellamy spared Gina any hurt if he chose Clarke over her, she deserved at least that much.

The door opened suddenly and Abby watched as Marcus walked into the room, looking thoroughly worn out. He didn't look at her as he stripped himself of all of his clothes except his underwear and climbed into bed. He rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow.

"Marcus?" He didn't respond, she didn't know why she thought he would. She pulled herself out of the bathtub and reached for the towel, drying off quickly. She grabbed one of his clean shirts and pulled it on before climbing into bed beside him. _"Ai niron_ , are you okay?"

Again, he didn't respond. His face was still buried in the pillow, his arms under it, cradling it to his face. Abby reached out and ran her fingers along his back. He tensed under her touch, but didn't push her away; she took that as a good sign. "What's wrong, Marcus?"

He whispered, "Stop worrying about me, Abby."

She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against the back of his neck. "Never."

Even through the pillow, she could hear his laugh. It was hollow, not the usual breathy laugh she loved. Abby frowned and shifted closer to him on the bed, resting her head on his elbow. She pressed her body to his and slid one hand up his back, her nails gently running along his skin. He shivered under her touch but leaned into it. She smiled to herself and kept going, running her nails along his back.

Her other hand slid into his hair, her nails scraping along his scalp. He let out an involuntary moan and turned his head to look at her. She leaned forward, crossing the few inches that separated them, and pressed her lips to his. She pulled her hand out of his hair and slid it along his forearm, under the pillow, until she reached his hand which she grasped and laced her fingers with.

She pulled away and his lips followed, unwilling to lose the contact. But Abby hooked her thumb in front of his ear, her fingers on his hair, and pushed him away gently. He looked at her like she had physically wounded him. She whispered, "You can't just fuck away all of your grief, Marcus."

He stared at her like he was surprised at her use of language. But he needed to know that he wasn't processing any of this the right way. He had to acknowledge it or he was never going to get better.

Abby ran her thumb gently over his jaw and said, "Talk to me."

"About what?" He asked, his eyes searching her face as his hand squeezed hers under the pillow.

"What were you thinking about at the fire?" She asked before placing a kiss against his bicep. The corner of his mouth quirked up at the motion and he shut his eyes. Abby thought she had lost him, but he started talking a few seconds later.

"I was remembering who Charles Pike was. He was a good person, an educator. And I burned him, I stabbed him," Kane said before turning his face back into the pillow. Abby frowned and pulled her hand away from his, sitting up. She grabbed his arm and pulled him away from his refuge of the pillow. His body was heavy and he didn't help her until she scolded him for being childish. Eventually, she got him to sit across from her.

She held his hand firmly in hers as she said, "Marcus, you need to forgive yourself. What you did, you did for our people. Don't think for a second that any of us hold it against you."

"He was my friend, Abby," he whispered, turning away. She reached up and placed her hand on his jaw, forcing him back to her. His eyes burned with grief as he looked at her.

She said, "He hasn't been your friend for some time. He may have been your friend on the Ark, but not since coming to the Ground. You have to focus on who he became, not who he was. Remember what he did to our people, who he killed. You can't focus on who you wish he was. Charles Pike was nothing more than a murderer, you have to remember him as that or you'll never get through this, _ai niron_."

Kane stared at her for a long moment and she waited for him to react. She stroked her thumb along his jaw and held his hand, waiting. Finally, he nodded and leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. He whispered, "You're right, Abby. You're always right."

She smirked and said, "I'll forget that you said that, you are grieving."

"Thank you," he said, pulling away with a small smile on his face. He took her face in his hands and pressed a kiss to her mouth. It was a slow kiss, his lips moving gently against hers, but it wasn't long before her lips parted and his tongue dove hungrily into her mouth.

Abby's hands slid into his hair and leaned back, pulling him with her. His body settled heavily against hers, pushing her into the furs. She wrapped her legs around his waist and ground herself against him. His lips broke from hers and he looked at her, a frown on his face. He whispered, "Abby, I can't—"

"Marcus, please," she said, continuing to move her hips against his. She needed to forget what had happened tonight in the clearing — the sights, the smells, the sounds. She needed a sensory overload to erase it all for a while and only Kane could give her that.

He was staring down at her, his brows furrowed. She reached down for him, but he caught her wrist and brought it above her head, while shaking his. He whispered again, "I can't."

She pouted and moved against him again. He sighed, his head falling to her chest before he looked up to meet her eyes. He didn't say a word, just shoved up the shirt she wore and began to kiss his way down. He reminded her why she thought his mouth was the best part of him, reminded him of their first time together that night in the tent. He could make anything better with his tongue, she had known it since that first time. Tonight, it gave her an explosive release that had her writhing on the bed; he had to hold her hips down to continue for a second round to ensure that she forgot the night, as if she could even remember her own name after the first.

* * *

They were waiting for him in the meeting room the following morning, sitting silently across from each other. Kane figured that the King of Ice Nation and the Commander didn't have much in common other than their need to save their people at all costs. He shared that need.

"Welcome, Marcus," Lexa said, watching him with guarded eyes as he crossed the room to sit next to Roan. "We have much to discuss, let's get started."

Kane nodded and waited. Lexa continued after a moment's pause, "How many warriors do you have, Roan?"

"Thousands. Somewhere in the 15 or 16 range," he said gruffly, looking at her with narrowed eyes.

"And you?" She asked, turning her gaze to Kane.

"It is not our numbers that give us strength. Our guns can take down many faster than your swords and bows. That is why you came to us, is it not?" Kane asked, glancing at Roan who nodded.

"Roan, what is Ontari's plan?" Lexa asked, hiding her smile at Kane's words. He wondered if there had been a shift in their relationship again, one back to the mutual respect they once had. He needed that again after what had happened.

"She has the same wish my mother did: to take over the Coalition and annihilate Skaikru." Roan said simply, glancing from Lexa to Kane, gaging their reactions. He didn't get much, guarded looks settled on both of the leaders' faces.

"That won't stand. She will be met by the force of 13 clans, she will get war," Lexa said strongly, her eyes meeting Kane's. He nodded at her. "Marcus, how long will it take you to ready your people?"

"Not long at all," he said. They had just fought a battle, but they were resilient. He knew they would be ready and willing, especially since Azgeda had just helped them with their own problem. "A few days at most."

Lexa nodded. "I will rally the clans in Polis. Go home, Marcus, mourn your dead. Next week, I will have our forces ready and it will be time to march to war."

* * *

 **Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated! Please let me know how I'm doing, I love hearing what you all have to say! :)**

 **We're winding down to the end (2 more chapters) then it's time for the sequel ("Omo Givnes" | "Their Sacrifices")! -Lauren**


	34. Paying Tribute

_"You think you deserve this pain, that this is your cross to bear…" —_ Sinclair, "Ye Who Enter Here"

* * *

Even the air in Arkadia seemed different when they returned. The two rovers lurched to stops in the hangar and the eleven of them ambled out, stretching after being cramped into the confining spaces for hours. No one in the crowded hangar gave Roan and Indra a second look, no one cared that they were there. Anyone who did was long gone by now.

The group dispersed, they all had their tasks to take care of before the announcement was made in an hour's time. Bellamy and Lincoln left first, charged with the most unpleasant undertaking of the group. The other kids trickled out, all except Clarke and Benja.

"We must see to our warriors, we will be back for your _ceremony_." Indra said the last word like it offended her personally. She and Roan walked through the outer door toward the gate; they had passed their field of tents on the way in, just outside the gates of Arkadia.

"They think what we are doing is unnecessary, don't they?" Abby asked, watching their backs disappear from sight. Kane nodded, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Our people need it, Abby, who cares what they think?" He said, reaching for her hand. She laced her fingers with his and walked with him toward their quarters, Clarke and Benja trailing. Kane unlocked the door and led the way into the room, releasing Abby's hand as he sat on the couch and pulled his backpack from his shoulders.

"Is that…?" Clarke asked, walking slowly toward the painting on the wall. Abby glanced at Kane and found his head leaned against the back of the couch, his eyes closed. She frowned before turning to her daughter. Clarke's hand was reached out toward the painting but she wasn't touching it.

Clarke turned back to them and she looked from Abby to Kane, whose eyes were still closed. Hers settled on her mother's and Abby nodded her head at Marcus. Clarke glanced his way and asked, "Why?"

"He wanted you to have it," Abby said quietly.

"Monty said you liked it," Kane said, his eyes remaining closed. The Griffin women looked at each other and Abby saw a flicker of fondness pass over Clarke's face.

"Thank you," Clarke whispered before turning back to the painting and staring at the brush strokes like Abby figured she had many times before. She smiled before sitting next to Kane. She leaned against him and his arm wrapped around her waist on reflex.

"You should go to Medical," he said after a moment, his hand running along her side. She shook her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes, feeling the fatigue of the past few days really set in. " _Abby_ …"

"Marcus, there will be plenty of time to check on patients after. Can't we just relax for a second?" She asked, sighing.

A breathy laugh escaped him. "We never have time to relax."

"When is the last time you just watched a football match?" She asked before placing a gentle kiss against his neck. She opened her eyes to look at him; he had a small grin on his face, but it was pained, she wondered if she had said something wrong.

"I think the last time was with Jake and Thelonious," he said quietly. Her face fell.

"Marcus, I—" she reached up to stroke his face, but his hand caught hers as his eyes opened to look at her.

"It's okay," he said quickly, but she wasn't entirely convinced.

Abby glanced across the room at her daughter and found her staring at them. Clarke blinked and walked toward Benja who was busying himself with the kettle. He was pouring out four mugs when she reached him. Abby tapped Marcus' arm and nodded toward them, he turned to watch.

 _"Chit daun bilaik?_ | What's that?" Clarke asked, looking down into one of the mugs.

 _"Souda_ | A drink," Benja said, not meeting her eyes. "Tea."

 _"Ai na?_ | May I?" She asked, pointing to a mug. He nodded, staring at the floor.

" _Yu get in_ | You know," Clarke said quietly as she picked up the mug. Abby suddenly felt like they were intruding on a private moment. " _Ai don nou vout in ai na don stribro._ | I never thought I would have a little brother."

"Let's leave them," Abby whispered, tugging on Kane's hand. He stood and let her lead him toward their bedroom.

"Marcus, Abby." Benja was hurrying to them, carrying two mugs of tea. Kane took both of them and said, "Thank you, Ben."

He smiled and walked back to Clarke who was waiting for him, taking a sip of the tea. Abby touched Kane's arm and he followed her into their bedroom. He set both mugs down on the desk before sitting in the chair. He rested his elbows on the tabletop and put his head in his hand, absently moving the handle of his mug back and forth.

"Does Lexa trust us again?" Abby asked, picking up her tea. She surveyed him over the rim of the mug before taking a sip, surprised by the citrus flavor that met her tongue.

He nodded slowly, turning his head in his hand to look at her. "We are the 13th Clan, there is no doubt about it. We go to war next week. _Again_."

He reached for his mug and took a long drink of it. He stared down into it, seemingly surprised by the contents. "We should let that boy add to the garden."

" _Our_ boy," she reminded him.

Kane smiled and nodded. " _Our_ boy, yes." He looked at her, the corners of his eyes crinkled, and asked, "Did you ever think…?"

She shook her head and set her empty mug on the desk before stepping next to his chair. "Not on the Ark, never. But since we came here, I've entertained the thought once or twice."

He grinned and looked into the mug of tea before he emptied it. He set it down, turned in his seat, and placed his hands on her hips to pull her closer. "Well, we have a kid now. He's a bit older than the one I thought we would have," he smiled, running his hands along her stomach absently, "but he's ours."

Abby brushed her lips against his forehead. She whispered, "It's still not too late."

His eyes slowly rose to meet hers, searching for some answer she didn't know the question to. She reached up and cradled his face in her hands, running her thumbs along his cheeks, over the new beard growing there. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers.

"I should check on the guard, see how they are progressing," he whispered against her lips. She shook her head, pulling him in for another kiss, parting his lips with her tongue. Her fingers dove into his hair and held him close to her, she could feel his nails digging into her hips and welcomed the passion she brought out of him.

"It takes a while to dig graves, Marcus," she whispered when she finally broke the kiss. He nodded and pulled her back to him.

* * *

They had dug nine graves — one for every Sky Person who had died — behind Alpha Station. Roan had already had his people taken care of after the battle. The bodies lay next to their respective graves, wrapped in sheets. Sinclair had taken care over the past two days to cut out their names on metal plaques for the grave markers.

Kane and Abby stood at the front of the group; everyone from camp had turned out — all of those who weren't still in Medical. When it was clear that they weren't waiting for any stragglers, Kane nodded to Helm and Costa who left to bring out the prisoner. He stepped away from Abby and addressed the group. "Today, we honor those we lost in the battle to reclaim Arkadia. The fighting took nine from us and we pay tribute to their sacrifices today—"

"Yeah, but why are we burying those four with ours?" Wick called, nodding toward the bodies of Abbot, Banks, Bogdanovic, and Gillmer.

"Because, like it or not, they were still our people and deserve to be respected in death." Kane said bluntly, scanning the group in front of him as if he expected someone to challenge him on the issue. No one did. Helm and Costa returned with William Lacroix in handcuffs.

"What's he doing here?" Nate Miller spat, stepping out from the crowd and toward the former member of the Guard.

"He's here for the same reason you are, Nate," Kane said, nodding toward the bodies of the four people no one in the crowd really cared about. "He's here for them. Someone should be, they were still people. They still deserve to be remembered."

"If you say so, _Chancellor_ ," Nate said, glaring at him before stalking off to his father's body.

"Thank you," Lacroix whispered, staring at their bodies.

"Shut up," Kane snapped before walking toward the graves. He turned toward the crowd again when he stood halfway between the nine graves. He said, "Whoever wishes to say something on behalf of the deceased may do so now."

He walked back to Abby's side and stood with her. Sinclair was the first to step out of the crowd, followed by Bennett who stood next to the grave, waiting.

"Gabriella was as caring as they come and I'm lucky to have called her my wife for twenty years," Sinclair said quietly, staring hard at his wife's body. He looked to Kane as he said, "The only comfort I find is knowing that her murderer suffered a harsh death."

He hopped down into the grave and, together with Bennett, managed to lower Gabriella into the hole in the ground. He pulled himself out gingerly and glanced back down into the grave one last time before rejoining the crowd.

It was Nate Miller's turn next. He beckoned Kane over and he hopped down into the grave, waiting for Nate to join him. Nate stared at his father's body as he said quietly, "I know who my dad was and that's all that matters."

Kane nodded and said, "That's enough, Nate."

He placed a hand on the boy's shoulder and their eyes met. Kane saw how hard Nate was trying to keep his emotions in check, but the tears were so close to breaking free. Kane reached for David's body and Nate did the same. They lowered him to the dirt and Nate knelt in the grave for a moment, lifting the sheet and removing his father's watch. The two men pulled themselves out of the hole and rejoined the crowd.

Rebecca, Jones Meikle, and Jeff Trebenski stood for Paul Slater. Rebecca said a few words about how kind and thoughtful Paul was, how he had saved her life during the battle, as Jones and Jeff lowered him into his grave. Harper spoke of Zoe Monroe's loyalty and how she didn't know if she would have survived without her bravery when she herself felt weak shortly after they were sent to Earth. Bellamy helped her lay her friend to rest.

Jack Scanlan stepped out of the crowd next and a deafening silence fell over the onlookers. He stood next to his son's body, his eyes rimmed red, his voice strained as he said, "My son was curious about this earth, always wanting to go out and explore. I told him it was too dangerous out there for him on his own, he was only twelve. I guess I didn't know that the danger was at home all along." Scanlan hopped down into the grave and gathered his son into his arms, lowering the small body to the dirt.

When he returned to the crowd, Kane and Bellamy walked toward the bodies of the four men who had fought against them. As they began to lower the first body into the ground, Kane noticed that most of the crowd had dispersed. His eyes met Abby's and she gave him a sad smile. He returned it and bend over, adjusting Shawn Gillmer's body before moving onto Mike Bogdanovic.

"How is he?" Kane asked, finding Abby in Medical after, examining Jasper Jordan. She had left as soon as he and Bellamy had lowered the last body — Abbot Simon — into his grave. They had spent the last hour shoveling the dirt back into the graves with the help of Nate, Sinclair, Jones, Jeff, Harper, and Scanlan.

She glanced over her shoulder at him and frowned. "He's still unresponsive. I don't know what to do for him, Marcus."

Kane nodded slowly and stepped next to Jasper's bed. He stared down at the boy — at the deep bruises on his face, at his arm in the sling, at the bandages that covered his torso, at his broken leg sticking out from under the blankets. He felt Abby's hand on his arm, squeezing gently. Her touch was what pushed him over the edge.

The tears stung his eyes and he collapsed into the chair he assumed had been Harper's bed for the past few days. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, putting his head in his hands to hide his grief. Abby's arms wrapped around his chest, her head coming to rest on his shoulder, as she whispered, "This wasn't your fault, Marcus. This was Pike."

He shook his head, letting his shoulders shake as he held back his sobs. "Abby, he was hurt because of me. I antagonized Pike, I made it worse. He was going to kill Jasper because I pissed him off, because I wouldn't give up your location."

"It's okay, _ai niron,_ " she whispered, squeezing her arms around him. Her lips brushed against his neck and his hand came up to grip her forearm tight, needing to keep himself grounded.

"I don't know how I'll be able to make it up to him," he said, lifting his head to look at Jasper, at the steady rise and fall of his chest that was only happening because the machine next to him was breathing for him.

"We all make mistakes, I'm sure whatever you did to antagonize Pike is forgivable." She said as she kissed along his neck.

"I head-butted him, he was pissing me off," Kane whispered, feeling the heat rise on his cheeks.

Her lips pursed, holding in a laugh. "You know Jasper appreciated that until it backfired."

He nodded and turned to look at her, taking her hand in his. She smiled gently at him and leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. She whispered, "Jasper will forgive you, let's just get him to wake up first, okay? I need Nyko."

"Okay," he said, nodding.

"Now, I want you to go home and put a football match on. Take Benja," she said, pulling him to his feet. He raised his eyebrows at her and she smiled as she leaned up, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. She murmured, "Doctor's orders. Go, Marcus."

* * *

 **Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated; I love hearing what you all have to say! :)**

 **There's only one more chapter for this fic then the sequel. It's very bittersweet for me and I hope to get you the final chapter quickly.**

 **-Lauren**


	35. War on the Horizon

_"We've been at war since we landed." —_ Bellamy Blake, "Hakeldama"

* * *

Abby was prettiest in the morning, when the rays from the sunrise were peeking through the window, bringing the first light of the day into the room. She would burrow deeper into his chest, still lost to sleep. Kane was a light sleeper these days and woke with the sun consistently, but he didn't mind. It allowed him to partake in his favorite part of the day — watching her eyelids flutter as she wrapped her arms tighter around him and pressed her face into his chest.

Sometimes, he would run his hand along her back and gently wake her if it was time for her shift in Medical. Other times, he would just hold her tighter, reveling in the fact that this beautiful, courageous, brilliant woman loved him. Most of the time, like today, he was allowed half an hour before he had to get up and start his day.

There was a soft knock on the door and it opened a minute later when he didn't answer for fear of waking Abby. Clarke walked in, already dressed for the day, and stepped just inside the room. She wasn't bothered to find Marcus shirtless with her mother wrapped tightly around him wearing one of his shirts. She actually had a small smile on her face as her eyes met Kane's.

"A rider just left, he said the armies will arrive early this afternoon. Lexa will want to attend the Council meeting," she said quietly.

He nodded and scratched at his stubble. "Did the rider say where they were setting up camp?"

She shrugged. "Bellamy didn't say."

Kane fought a smile — of course Bellamy would rush here to tell them the news before any of them were awake. "Would you mind finding out for me?"

"I'm on it," she said, turning to the door but Kane called her back.

"When you see Bellamy, tell him I want a word," he said. Her eyebrow raised slightly. He smiled and added, "Don't worry, it's nothing bad."

Her brows pulled together and she waited for further explanation but he didn't give her one. She said, "Fine." Clarke nodded toward her mother's sleeping form and asked quietly, "Were there any nightmares?"

Kane shook his head. "Not this time."

"She's finally getting better, I guess I have you to thank for that." Clarke turned toward the door again and called over her shoulder, "Oh, and just so you know, you have created a monster with that boy and those games."

The door slid shut behind her and Kane absently ran his fingers along Abby's back, smiling to himself. Abby hadn't had a nightmare all week, not since the night after the funeral. Her heavy breathing had woken him — it didn't take much — and he had pulled her onto him, hugging her tight as he rubbed her back, whispering that she was okay. She woke and stared at him before kissing him like she couldn't believe he was actually there.

She had dreamt he was dead, that Pike had killed him before she and Octavia had arrived. She held him tight after waking, refusing to let him go. It took him saying that he was never leaving her again, that he would do anything to come back to her to get her to finally calm down, but she didn't leave him — she remained snuggled against his chest, her legs straddling him, her lips moving against his skin. He held her tightly, whispering that he really was there and she eventually fell asleep in the early hours of the morning. He didn't though, he stayed awake, making sure that she was okay.

He was startled when a hoarse whisper broke the silence in the room, "She's not wrong, Marcus. I don't know what I would do without you."

Kane glanced down and found Abby looking up at him, her head still on his chest. The corner of his mouth pulled up as he said, "Good morning."

She kissed his chest and mumbled, "Good morning, _ai niron_."

She slid up his body and pressed a kiss against his lips. He gripped her waist and pulled her onto him. She smiled against his lips and deepened the kiss, gripping his hair tightly in her fingers. He slipped his hands under her shirt and tickled his fingers over her sides. She squirmed against him and broke the kiss, brushing his hair gently out of his face.

"Sorry," he whispered, fighting the smile that threatened to take over his face. "But I have to get going."

She kissed him once more and pulled away. As she slid out of bed, she said, "I have to get to Medical anyway."

"Your shift isn't until tonight," he said, frowning at her as he threw off the blanket. He slid out of bed and opened the dresser, glancing over his shoulder at her, awaiting a reply.

He was pulling out a shirt when she finally replied as she stepped into her jeans, "I want to figure out something for Jasper. Nyko and Jackson promised to meet me this morning about him."

He whispered, "Thank you, Abby."

Kane was fully dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling on his boots, when she climbed across the bed behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She kissed the spot under his ear and said, "Do you want me to take Benja with me?"

He shook his head. "You should focus on Jasper. Nate can watch him, he can try to get a lesson in before the armies get here."

She turned his head to the side and kissed him before resting her head on his shoulder. "I guess our week of normalcy is over?"

"This is normalcy, Abby," he said with a frown. She nodded, her nose brushing his neck. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his skin. She whispered, "It won't always be."

"We can hope," he said, nodding slowly.

"Hope is everything, Marcus," she said as she pulled away. She stood in front of him and reached for his hand. "Let's go."

They exited their bedroom and found Benja on the couch, enthralled by a hundred and thirty-six year old football match between Brazil and Germany. Kane smiled as he walked toward his jacket hanging by the door; he didn't know how many games he had watched with Benja over the last week — after the first one, it was all the boy wanted to do. Kane had managed to find him a decent football in one of the many storerooms that held items from Mount Weather. They had spent the last several nights kicking it around after all of his work was done, Wick or Bellamy joining in sometimes, other times it was some of the other kids and their parents.

Kane needed Abby to be right, he needed there to be a time coming when there were no wars, nothing but peace; a time when they could be a real family. He sat down next to Benja, holding his jacket out to him. The match was only thirty minutes in and it looked like it was all over for Brazil already.

Benja took his jacket without looking away from the projection on the wall, watching Germany dominate the game. He asked, _"Weron oso na kamp raun?_ | Where are we going?"

 _"Yu na kamp raun kom Neit, nami?_ | You are going to be with Nate, okay?" Kane said, watching Benja's eyes follow the ball on the video. The boy nodded absently, Kane wondered if he had even heard him.

He glanced at Abby and found a grin on her face as she pulled on her jacket. She met his eyes and gave him a look. "You made him this way."

His brows lowered as he said, "And who suggested I start watching football again?"

Abby just shook her head and said, "You can't blame this on me. You two have watched eleven matches in the last week. It's almost like you don't have a war to plan."

He shrugged. "I'm working on it. And I can't deny the boy his football."

She smiled and said, "Well, it's time to go. _Miya, Ben._ | Come on, Ben."

He protested, _"Ba pleiplei_ | But the game—"

" _Don set raun gon honet yo. Em na set raun kom taim nat. Yu na gonasleng granplei kom Neit nau._ | Has waited for a hundred years. It can wait until tonight. You have an English lesson with Nate now." She beckoned him toward her and, begrudgingly, he rose from the couch and walked toward her, shrugging his jacket on. Abby gave Kane a look that seemed to say _no more football for him._ And as he walked out the door, Benja looked to Kane who nodded, telling him to do as she said.

He reached for the control as the door shut and paused the game before turning it off. He glanced around the room, at the chaos that was a ten year old living in their shared space for two weeks. Kane longed for the day Benja would have his own room to contain the things he had picked up here and there. The boy was gathering many possessions, he had a box in the corner of things he had been given in Polis and by Arkadians.

It was only a minute of silence before the door opened and Clarke walked in followed by Bellamy Blake. She glanced at Kane, at the empty room, before saying, "The armies will be half a mile north of camp."

Kane nodded. His attention turned Bellamy who stood just inside the door; he beckoned him over and Bellamy glanced uncertainly at Clarke before walking over to sit in the chair. Clarke was busying herself with a cup of tea, but Kane knew she was just curious about what he had to say.

Kane leaned forward, his forearms resting on his knees as he looked at Bellamy. He looked nervous and Kane wondered what idea Clarke had put in his head when she told him that he wanted a word. He mentally kicked himself for not just telling her what he had intended.

"Bellamy, do you like your position on the Guard?" Kane asked, keeping his face placid. He was met with a curious look.

"Yes," Bellamy said uncertainly. "I've always wanted to be on the Guard, you know that."

Kane smiled and nodded. "I only meant to ask if you wanted something more. More responsibility, more say in the future of this camp."

It dawned on Bellamy the same instant it did Clarke, as she walked toward them, holding the cup of tea. They shared a look before Bellamy said, "Are you asking what I think you're asking?"

"We have two openings on the Council, I would like for you to fill one of them," Kane said with a nod. "It will show your friends that we respect them and value their input. That we know they have grown since we forced them to come here. And you deserve it, son."

"Thank you, sir," Bellamy said, a small smile pulling at his lips.

"We have one more person to recruit," Kane said, rising from the couch. Bellamy raised an eyebrow in question, glancing back at Clarke, before meeting Kane's eyes again. But Marcus just nodded toward the door and the new councillor was forced to follow without knowing their destination.

* * *

Lexa and Roan were sitting around the table with the councillors when Kane arrived. Jack Scanlan sat next to Bellamy, still in shock at Kane's decision to appoint him to the Council. Abby's eyes met Kane's, surprised he hadn't discussed this with her, but it wasn't really her place. It was his decision, he knew she didn't care and would have supported him no matter who he chose.

Kane sat between Abby and Lexa, opening the floor to anything before they started on the war. Sinclair spoke up, "In what little non-war related news we have these days, expanded housing is finished. We've set aside one for the Chancellor and his family. The sign-up list for everyone else goes live after this meeting."

"Thank you," Kane nodded. He forced himself not to look at Abby at the mention of _and his family_. Instead, he scanned the room, meeting the eyes of the other councillors, asking, "Anything else?"

They glanced at each other, but they all shook their heads. Kane nodded, "Let's move on then. When do we go to war?"

"A few days," Roan said gruffly. "We must consider the logistics of the matter: where we will protect, which villages we will abandon to their own devices, et cetera."

"Any news of Ontari's movements?" Bellamy asked, leaning forward. Kane fought the smirk that pulled at his lips; new members never spoke up in their first meeting, but Bellamy was taking to being on the Council very well, as Kane knew he would.

"She marches toward Arkadia, she wishes death on all Sky People. Her plan is to annihilate you all before you can fight back — it is smart if you think about it." Roan said. Kane's eyes darkened causing Roan to continue, "She is a hundred miles away still. With an army of her size, they don't move very fast. If we leave soon, we can avoid the devastation of this camp."

"How do we do that?" Kane asked.

"We will set up a blockade around Arkadia and leave warriors outside the gates, Ontari will never get close enough," Lexa said, glancing at Roan on one side before turning to Kane on her other. "We believe she will attack Arkadia, Tondc, Polis, or Niagara. Will our people be in danger here from yours?"

Kane shook his head. "Those who posed a threat have left."

Lexa nodded. "I leave several hundred Trikru warriors with Arkadia, they will protect your people while you are gone."

"And where are we going?" Abby asked, eyes narrowing at the commander.

Kane couldn't help but notice the amused smirk that played at Lexa's lips for a moment before it disappeared. She said seriously, "We have enough healers, Abby; your place is with your people."

"My place is with my chancellor," Abby said coolly and Kane hid his smile well. "Where are we going?"

Ignoring the tension rising in Lexa, Roan intervened and said, "Skaikru will come with me. We will draw Ontari's army away from your settlement and the others. If she truly hopes to be the leader of Ice Nation, Niagara is where she will have to go."

"Who is in charge while you are gone, Chancellor?" Bellamy asked, brows knitting together. He knew how it had worked out last time Marcus had left Arkadia, they all did.

Kane said, "We won't bore the Commander and King with our tedious bureaucratic talk. We can discuss it in another meeting."

Bellamy nodded.

"I think that is enough for today," Kane said, glancing around the room. "We have training to get to. Bellamy, Scanlan, gather the guards. We head for the camp with Lexa and Roan."

The two guards nodded and left the room. The other councillors began to trickle out of the room. Abby glanced at Kane before leaving, understanding that he had other business to attend to in private with the Grounder leaders. Roan and Lexa were soon the only two in the room with Kane, still seated next to him.

"Who are you leaving in charge of Arkadia's safety?" Kane asked, looking from one to the other.

"Indra refused," Lexa began, "for obvious reasons."

"It didn't go so well the last time," Kane nodded.

Lexa studied him for a moment, perhaps offended by his offhanded comment. He thought to apologize, but she spoke again, "I've given the honor to Penn."

"Penn?" He asked, exhaling a short breath in surprise. Lexa nodded, eying him curiously. "That's unexpected."

"He proved himself during the war with Mount Weather. He has been a reliable emissary with Skaikru despite…complications with your former people. He will do well as a leader," Lexa commented.

"He will," Kane said.

"We should train," Roan said, rising from his seat. "I suspect your people need it, given how they performed in the battle."

"You lost more people than I did," Kane said, eyes narrowing as he stood.

"That was because of your guns, not your skill, Kane," Roan said harshly, taking a step toward him, rage flaring up on his face. Lexa shoved her chair out from under her and pushed the men away from each other.

"We are not here to fight each other. Go back to camp, Roan," she barked, staring at him hard until he snapped his eyes away from Kane's and looked at her.

"Yes, _Commander_ ," he said coolly before leaving the room. Lexa's eyes followed him before turning to Kane who started toward the door.

"Marcus," Lexa said, grasping his forearm tightly in her hand. His eyes flickered to the contact before meeting hers. "For now, we train. But war is coming and lives will be lost. Are you sure you are ready for this?"

Kane gave her a hard look before pulling his arm out of her grip. "You clearly don't know me well enough, Lexa. Death is something I understand very well by now."

"I've seen how it destroys you, are you sure you want Abby going with you?" Lexa asked, eyes flashing with concern as they searched his face. He held her gaze when she looked at him again, his eyes dancing.

"If you know Clarke, you know Abby. No one can make them do anything they don't want to. I can't make Abby stay behind no more than you can make Clarke forgive you." Her eyes grew cold and he added, "I'm not saying she won't, Lexa, maybe this war will do you some good."

She had stormed halfway across the room by the time he called out, "Lexa, I know how you feel about her. Just know, you're not the only one who feels that way about Clarke."

She glanced over her shoulder at him, her eyes shrouded by an emotion he couldn't quite discern. "I know, it was made very clear to me while we waited for Pike."

She was gone before he could respond. He stared at the open door for a few moments before he began to wander back to his quarters. He barely glanced at Clarke and Benja on the couch where they were watching the rest of the Germany and Brazil game. He walked up behind Abby who was busying herself with the kettle and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing a kiss to her neck. She tilted her head, exposing more of her neck to him, but he didn't pursue it further.

He rested his chin on her shoulder and whispered, "You don't have to come."

She stiffened in his arms momentarily before turning in his embrace to face him. "You're an idiot if you think I'm going to stay here while you go with Roan to Niagara."

"Then I'm an idiot."

Her face softened and she pursed her lips to hide a smile. "I'm going with you, this is not up for discussion." She leaned forward to press a soft kiss to his lips before pulling back to look him in the eye. "Now, don't you and Clarke have training to get to?"

He nodded, but captured her lips once more, slipping his tongue deep into her mouth. She was forced to swallow her moan with the kids on the couch as her tongue met his. His hands gripped her hips as he pressed her against the cabinet, his body flush against hers. Her hands dove into his hair, pulling him closer.

"You two are disgusting," Clarke said in a monotone from behind them. Kane broke from Abby, redness creeping up his neck. Abby glared at her daughter, upset at her for interrupting them. Clarke held out a rifle for Kane and said, "Let's go already, I'm not letting you get killed in this war because you are distracted."

Kane took the gun and slung it over his shoulder. Clarke walked toward the door as he leaned toward Abby, kissing her cheek. He whispered in her ear, "To be continued."

* * *

 **Don't fret about the end of this one, everyone! Chapter 1 of "Omo Givnes," the sequel to this, is already up and ready for your viewing pleasure!**

 **Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated; I love hearing what you all have to say! Let me know what you thought of this fic overall! :)**

 **It's been a pleasure writing it.**

 **-Lauren**


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